by Linda Bridey
Maddie’s coming out party was everything she’d ever wanted and more. It was a magical night surrounded by her family, wonderful friends, and very attentive young men. Her dance card was full and she was thrilled.
Tessa watched her little sister twirl around the dance floor, first in one man’s arms and then in another’s. The light in Maddie’s eyes made Tessa so happy for her sibling. She’d decided she couldn’t leave until after Maddie’s party because it would be cruel to cause so much sadness. There was no way she would do anything to ruin Maddie’s night.
She’d decided to leave a little later that night, when the party was in full swing. Her parents would be distracted by entertaining the guests. Tessa would plead a headache and make her escape to Edwina’s, where she’d hail a taxi and gather her belongings. Her bags were packed and waiting in Eddie’s large hall closet. Eddie’s driver was going to take her to the train station, where she would catch the last train, which left at eleven-forty-five.
Claire had been allowed to attend the party for a short while and was in awe of the happenings. She watched the elegant women in their beautiful gowns as they danced with handsome men. Her excitement was palpable as she sat next to Tessa. She watched her little sister’s sweet face and tried to memorize it. She didn’t know how long it would be until she saw it again.
Tessa reached out and took Claire’s hand. Claire looked at her in surprise.
“What is it?” she asked.
“All of this is wonderful in its way. I was excited when I was first introduced to society and I know you will be too, but don’t make it your life. You have a wonderful mind and you should use it to do great things, but have some fun, too. There has to be a balance,” Tessa said.
Claire smiled at Tessa. “Thank you, but why are you so sentimental tonight?”
“I was just remembering my own coming out and how much I enjoyed it but then later wished that I could do something else besides attend balls and parties. So have fun with all this, but don’t let it rule you. That’s all,” Tessa said with a smile. Inside, she was warning herself to not let her emotions show so much. Someone might suspect something was amiss. “I mean, aren’t you bored already?”
Claire laughed. “That’s just like you. The party has barely begun and you’re ready to leave.”
Tessa propped her head on her palm and affected a bored expression. “Am I that transparent?”
Claire nodded and turned back to watch the dancers.
Tessa watched, too, for a few moments before noticing that Maddie was heading in the direction of the ladies’ toilet. She gave Claire a kiss and went after her other sibling. Tessa caught Maddie in the hallway off the ballroom.
“So, little sister, are you enjoying your special night?” she asked.
Maddie grabbed Tessa’s arm and squeezed a little. “It’s the most amazing thing! This will sound terrible, but so many of the men want to dance with me. I don’t understand why you don’t love this life.”
Tessa was swept up for a few moments by Maddie’s enthusiasm. “I’m thrilled you are having such a wonderful time. You look very elegant and lovely on the dance floor. You dance much better than I do.”
“Oh, stop. You dance very well,” Maddie protested.
“Well enough, I suppose, but not with your grace. I have a few words of caution. Just beware with whom you dance. They’re not all being altruistic. Some of them have hidden agendas. I’m sure it won’t be long until you have marriage proposals thrown your way, but listen to your heart and don’t let money influence your choice,” Tessa said.
Maddie nudged her sister. “Come now! Listen to you, the voice of doom. I understand that you don’t enjoy this, but I do and I don’t intend to let it stop too soon. Who wants to get married when I can have this kind of fun? Trust me; I’m not in a hurry to wed. But when I do, it will be with someone fun and exciting, who doesn’t give a flip what people think.”
“Good girl,” Tessa said. She gave Maddie a quick hug and a kiss and sent her on her way.
It was getting late and Tessa knew she needed to go. Before she lost her nerve, she found her parents and drew them away slightly.
“I’m going to excuse myself. I think all of the perfume has given me a headache. I should like to go to retire early,” she said.
Maureen looked at her eldest with concern. “Well, you do look a little peaked. Perhaps it’s best. Get a good night’s rest and I’ll check on you in the morning.”
Tessa hugged her mother, hanging on a bit longer than normal. “I love you, Mama. You are the most wonderful mother anyone could ask for.”
Maureen hugged her back. “Thank you, darling.”
Then Tessa turned to her father and steeled herself. This would be the toughest goodbye to get through without giving herself away. “Goodnight, Papa.”
Geoffrey kissed her cheek and gathered her close. “Goodnight, daughter. Sleep well and feel better.”
Tessa struggled to hold tears back as she hugged her father. She drew away and pretended to sneeze. She pressed a handkerchief to her nose and made it seem as if the perfume was having a severe effect on her sinuses.
“Pardon me. I fear that some people have been extremely heavy with the perfume,” she said, as a reason for her eyes being so bright with tears.
Geoffrey placed another kiss on her forehead. “Go then before it gets worse. Good night.”
“Goodnight. I love you both so much. Have a wonderful rest of the night and tell Maddie how sorry I was that I had to leave the party early,” she said.
“Yes, we will,” said Maureen.
She and Geoff watched their daughter leave. “She should have been an actress,” Geoff commented. “I almost bought that she was feeling poorly.”
“She’s faking? I didn’t know. What does that say about me as a mother?” Maureen said.
Geoff squeezed her hand. “You’re a wonderful mother and you know it. She really does hate parties and just wanted to leave this one, too. That’s all it is, Maureen.”
Maureen sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”
“However, we have another daughter who is enjoying every second of it,” he said, with a gesture at Maddie, who was out on the dance floor again.
They watched their graceful daughter float around the room in the arms of a very good-looking boy.
Tessa watched her family from the doorway leading to the main foyer as they enjoyed the special night. The picture they made together would be forever etched in her mind. With tears in her eyes, she forced herself to turn away and mount the staircase to prepare for her journey.
“Mama! Mama!”
Maureen heard Claire calling her and it sounded as if something was drastically wrong. Claire burst into the dining room the morning after Maddie’s coming out party. She was holding an envelope and papers in her hand.
“What is it, Claire?” Maureen asked.
“It’s Tessa! She’s gone,” Claire said and thrust the papers at her mother.
“What?” Maureen took the papers and began reading.
To My Dearest Family,
I know that when you find that I have gone, you will be very distressed and try to find me. I beg you not to do so. I will be in touch when I can. For years I’ve been trying to tell you that this is not the life I want for myself, but my words have fallen on deaf ears. You seemed to think that it was just a phase and that I would grow out of it.
Most of my life has been spent primping and preening and learning how to behave like a lady and be charming to others. I never felt fully comfortable in this type of life. Madelyn is much more proficient at it than I and she certainly enjoys it. I find nothing wrong with that.
I felt compelled to leave because I know I will never be allowed to live life on my own terms. I would have liked to have had more opportunities to participate in serious conversations concerning societal issues and many other matters, but any time I attempted to do so, I was made to feel that I wasn’t intelligent enough simply because I’m a woman.
So I am setting out on my own life’s journey and doing so in secret because I feel it is the only way I could make it happen. By the time you read this, I will be long gone and you will not find me. I am not doing this to hurt you, I am doing this because I am of age to make my own decisions and live life on my own terms.
I want to be appreciated for my true self and not be forced into a box or told what I should want. I love you all, but I am suffocating and need room to breathe and I think this is the best course of action for us all. I know that it will take you some time to see it, but I hope that one day you will.
Know that I love you all more than I could ever tell you.
Yours always,
Tessa
Maureen reread the letter, disbelief and terror filling her breast. She was first and foremost a wife and mother and the fact that one of her children had set out alone to only God knew where, filled her with dread. She didn’t want to alarm Claire unduly, however, so she tried to keep her demeanor and voice as calm as possible.
“Oh, dear. That Tessa. She has always been somewhat dramatic. No doubt we’ll find her at one of her friends’ residences,” Maureen said. She smiled at her youngest. “All will be well, Claire. I’ll go talk to your father about it. You eat your breakfast.”
Maureen kissed Claire on the forehead and left the room. Claire was old enough and smart enough to know when her mother was truly concerned and she knew that Maureen was very worried. She had no desire to eat, instead going out to their garden to get some fresh air. She was deeply concerned about her sister and prayed that wherever she was, she was safe.
Geoffrey finished reading the Tessa’s letter and sat back in his office chair. Worry, anger, and shock all warred within him. How could she do this to her family, especially her parents? She had always been spirited and headstrong, but he had never seen this coming. As her father, he felt that he should have.
He looked at Maureen and rose to embrace her. “Don’t worry, dear. I’ll find her. She couldn’t have gotten far and someone has to know where she has gone.”
Maureen held Geoff close, taking comfort in his assurances. “Yes. You’re right. Please bring her back to us.”
“I will,” Geoff promised her. “No matter what it takes.”
Chapter Six