Jared

by R. J. Scott

  "Okay then, it's our secret," Jared said with a smile, and Luka relaxed. "Luka said you work. Is it round here?"

  "Yes, it isn't far. Rhea's Bar, do you know it?"

  "The one on East Sixteenth?"

  "Yeah, so that's my place.” He stopped and glanced at Luka, who was watching him with interest. "Hey, Luka, you want my phone?" He appeared to consider the option of watching Jared and his dad talk or the lure of games on the phone. After a pause, he nodded and then lost himself in Lemmings, although Jared noticed he was glancing up every so often to check on the conversation.

  "It was what?"

  "Mine and my wife's place, but she passed when Luka was younger."

  "He told me, I'm sorry for your loss." Jared watched as emotions raced across Nate’s face and made his eyes darken momentarily. There was a stiffness in the way Nate controlled his reaction, as if letting himself relax would lead to something awful. "So, yeah, anytime you're over that way, come in, and I'll pour you a beer or make you a fancy cocktail."

  "You had me at ‘cocktail.’"

  "It always works," Nate agreed.

  "But you already bought me dinner. You don't have to keep thanking me."

  Nate shuddered. "When I imagine what could have happened…" He paused a moment, and a mask of normal slipped over his tired expression. "So tell me about you. You're studying psychology, does that mean you're assessing people every time you talk to them?" He smiled widely, putting a protective arm over Luka's shoulder. "Are you doing that to me now?"

  This conversation had gone straight past polite hello and where-you-from to banter in a microsecond, and Jared's chest tightened. Many factors influenced attraction, and Jared was already scrutinizing how he and Nate were interacting. There were a ton of tells when attraction existed between two people. Banter and leaning in were two obvious ones, and Jared couldn't even begin to think about the way Nate licked his lower lip. There was a ton of silent messages from Nate. They ranged from an unconscious need to hug his son to the way he wanted to turn the conversation from serious to fun, or that he wouldn't quite meet Jared's gaze. He was nervous, anxious still, and Jared bet his stomach was a ball of nerves. So Jared did what he knew best. He began to manage the situation and forged ahead to find common ground.

  He hadn't even realized he was doing it until he opened his mouth and began to talk.

  "Do you like to people-watch?" Jared asked. That was always where he began his explanation of psychology to anyone who asked him.

  "I work behind a bar. I people-watch all night."

  "Okay, so as a barman, you can tell when someone has come in to drown their sorrows, or to celebrate, or to find company. Right?"

  "Mostly. You get a feel for it, yes."

  "See, that is a skill that you have learned from countless encounters, and when you're listening to people, you're reading them. I do the same kind of thing when I accidentally try and help people without realizing it. Also, it might seem weird when I stare at another person and they see me doing it. So in answer to your question, I can't help assessing on a hundred different things."

  For a moment, Jared thought he'd messed up, but then Nate grinned and sat back in his chair. "So what do you see?"

  "A dad who loves his son."

  Nate pulled Luka close, only letting go when Luka squeaked about the game and how his umbrella wasn't working.

  "Daaad," he whined.

  Nate pressed a kiss to Luka's hair and then turned to Jared. "That one was easy. Tell me something more."

  This was a minefield. There were a ton of non-verbal clues that Jared had picked up, but he wasn't going to mention them.

  "I knew your bar was called Rhea's Bar before you told me."

  Nate's jaw dropped. "Luka told you?"

  "Nope."

  "You've seen me there?"

  "Nope."

  "Then, how?"

  Jared pointed at Nate’s jersey, a deep amber in color, with a Rhea's Bar logo on his chest, and couldn't help laughing when Nate glanced at the emblem then back up at him with narrowed eyes. "That's cheating."

  "Nah, it's just observation."

  "What else do you see then?"

  Luka had wriggled out of his dad's hold, so Nate was free to lean forward on his elbows, and Jared was lost in his velvet-brown eyes. He wondered if he noticed the brilliance of them because Luka wanted to hire him as a boyfriend for his dad. Were his observations tainted by this flush of attraction he was feeling?

  "Okay, so you're a dad, and you work at Rhea's Bar." He counted the two things off on his fingers, "And you don't like baseball."

  "How did you… what did I… I didn't say anything about baseball. Luka must have said that because there's no jersey evidence this time."

  "Nope, he said nothing. It's all observation. When you came in, you glanced at the television over the bar which is showing an old Yankees game, and you then chose a table and sat with your back to it."

  "Maybe I love baseball, and I knew I'd stare at the screen, so I sat facing this way to be polite." Nate rested his chin on his hands, and Jared could see the interest in his gaze—he could’ve spent all day pretending to be Sherlock Holmes if Nate kept looking at him like that.

  "No sports fan, no real one anyway, would miss out on the chance of having their beloved sport at least in their peripheral vision. Failing that, to at least comment on what they see, like, oh yeah, this was a close game or something."

  "I'll have you know that I'm a very polite person. I never want to appear rude to anyone."

  "But I'm right."

  Nate bit his lip, holding back a smile, and then shook his head. "I don't hate baseball. It's just that I'm more of a hockey fan. Go Rangers."

  "We've been to see them," Luka chimed in. "It was cold and noisy, and I loved it. We had so much popcorn I was almost sick."

  "You did not," Nate defended his parenting skills, then grimaced. “It was the hotdog that pushed it over. Anyway, besides you now knowing I let my son eat way too much junk food in hockey stadiums, if that game was on the television, I'd say something. December 8th, 2019, Vegas at the Garden, we won five-nothing, now that was a game."

  Jared couldn't help smiling at Nate's infectious grin with an added fist pump. He'd fake-dated sports fans before. In the whole Christmas swan incident, the brother of the girl he was fake-dating had been a huge football fan and wore a jersey to the black-tie event. At least he’d had an excuse for his part in releasing the swan because he’d been three sheets to the wind on free champagne after his team had won something or other.

  The burgers arrived, and Luka didn't argue when Nate asked for the game of Lemmings to end. Whether that was because Luka was hungry or because he just respected his dad, Jared couldn't tell, but dad and son exchanged grins and fell on their respective burgers like hyenas on a fresh kill. They ate the same way, with dedicated silence, until they were halfway through, and then they started to talk. About the weather, homework, Rhea's Bar, it was a mish-mash of everything, and they asked Jared questions. Nate was genuinely interested in Jared's studies and his career aspirations. Plus, he was so damn thankful that he'd been around to rescue Luka, which he repeated often. Luka had chocolate ice-cream for his dessert, pronouncing it the best thing he’d ever tasted and his absolute favorite, and all too soon it was time to leave.

  Jared walked with them for a short while, just because he didn't want the dinner part of this meet-up to end. It would be easy to be friends with Nate. Hell, he wasn't going to deny that he felt attraction, but whether he'd ever act on that, given his upcoming exams, was open to debate. Luka tugged him to one side when Nate had to take a call. After securing his journal under one arm, Luka rooted through his pocket and pulled out a handful of coins. They were out of sight of Nate, Luka had made sure of that, and he spoke in a low but urgent voice.

  "If I give you two dollars for the dinner thing, will you be my dad's friend another fifteen times?"

  "I don't need the money, Luka. I enjoyed the
dinner."

  His face fell, and tears began to swim in his eyes. "Please," he whispered. "I want him to be happy."

  "How about you give it to me next time I see you." Jared had already decided that maybe he'd check out Rhea's Bar, see Nate in his natural environment, maybe talk some more, but he didn't need the payment for friendship.

  "No." A single tear spilled on Luka's cheek, and Jared's heart cracked a little. "This is a contract as it said on Mr. and Mrs. Bryant & Waites website."

  "Oh, Luka, sweetheart," Jared whispered, and then in a moment of sheer idiocy, he took the coins and got a hug in return.

  And as he waved the little family off, he only had one thought in his head.

  What the hell have I agreed to?

  Chapter Four

  “Luka,” Nate called, turning down the volume on the TV.

  “Mmm.”

  “What have I told you? No sleeping in the tub.” Nate switched off the television and got to his feet. He sighed as he entered the hallway to find Luka’s discarded clothes on the floor outside the bathroom.

  “But it’s soooo warm and bubbly,” Luka mumbled, making a squeaking sound as he slid lower in the bathtub. “And I wasn’t sleeping. I’m not tired. I’m relaxing.”

  Not tired? Nate had been ready to offer Luka matchsticks to prop his eyes open while he was trying to finish his neglected homework before his bath.

  “Relaxing, sure.” Nate picked up Luka’s sweater. He folded it over his arm, smoothing the woolen material. “You know, you sounded like your mom just then. She’d have spent hours in the tub if she could have gotten away with it,” he said, smiling fondly at the memory.

  “Maybe she was a mermaid,” Luka chimed.

  “A mermaid, huh?” He separated which of Luka’s clothes needed to go into the hamper and which needed to be put away. “She did love the ocean.” Memories of the three of them visiting his parents in Florida came to mind. He’d always thought there’d be more vacations, more memories, more time.

  There was the sound of splashing, and Nate stuck his head round the door to see Luka had turned onto his stomach, gripping the back of the tub as he kicked his feet in the foamy water.

  “What on earth are you doing?”

  “Well, if Mom was a mermaid, then I’m half a mermaid.”

  “Aren’t you too big to play mermaid?” Nate shook his head. “Anyway, mermaid or not, it’s nearly time for bed. So, hurry up. And don’t make a mess.”

  “Okay.” Luka stopped kicking and slipped about in the bath to turn around. He cupped some water in his hands, watching it pour through his separated fingers.

  “Ten minutes max,” Nate said and caught the cheeky grin that spread across Luka’s face. “I’m such a pushover,” Nate muttered as he walked to Luka’s bedroom.

  Having put away Luka’s things he made his way to the kitchen and checked his cell phone. Both Abi and Gregg had messaged to assure him everything was going smoothly at Rhea’s. They were both hardworking, reliable assets to the bar, and extremely understanding when it came to Luka. Gregg had worked with Nate for a long time, had been the one to call Nate out when he’d buried himself in the work, ignored his grief.

  I should find a way to thank them properly.

  He placed his cell on the dining table. The bar wasn’t his concern for the rest of the evening. His shift would have been over by now, and he’d have been on his way home to see Luka to bed.

  He rubbed his brow, heard Luka in the hallway.

  “Do you want a hot chocolate?” he called.

  “Yes,” Luka shouted back, his footsteps loud and fast as he ran toward his bedroom, shutting his door with a bang.

  Should he have said more to Luka? Been sterner? Maybe taken away TV privileges or confiscated one of his toys or… He glanced at the board on the wall beside the refrigerator, magnets holding photographs in place.

  Rhea, am I really doing things right? He stared at the image of his wife. “You were so much better at this than me.”

  “Dad?”

  Nate cleared his throat and looked over his shoulder. Luka was in his pajamas, his journal hugged to his chest, and a towel over his head. “Sit down.” He waited for Luka to get on his chair, then stood behind him. He rubbed the towel over Luka’s hair.

  “Ahhhhhh, th-th-thanks, Da-ad.”

  Nate laughed. “You’re welcome.” He gave Luka a brief squeeze. He hung the towel on the back of the chair. “Let’s get you that hot chocolate.”

  Luka sat in silence, only speaking when Nate placed the full mug on the table in front of him. “Marshmallows?” Luka asked in a small voice.

  “Do you think you deserve marshmallows?”

  With a thoughtful expression, Luka tilted his head, as if thinking about his answer. “I don’t know. Maybe.” He gave a small smile, which faded when he met Nate’s eyes. He shook his head. “No.

  “No.” Nate sighed and pulled out the chair on the opposite side of the table. “But next time. You can have marshmallows next time.” He sat down.

  Luka hugged the mug of cocoa and blew across the hot liquid’s surface. “‘Next time,’” he repeated happily.

  Nate rubbed at the pain in his chest as he sat with Luka. “You really scared me today.” He didn’t want to upset Luka again, but sitting there, watching his son, the sense of loss that could have been swelled inside him. “I love you. Pops and Nana Kay, Lee, too. They’d all be sad if something bad had happened to you.”

  Luka ducked his head, as if trying to hide behind his mug.

  “I can still see you.” Nate leaned forward and touched the back of Luka’s hand. He needed Luka to understand how important he was. Nothing mattered more than him. “I don’t need surprises and presents from you. Those can wait until you’re older. For now, you, happy and healthy is everything I need for my birthdays, okay?”

  “That’s silly.”

  “It’s the truth.” He gripped Luka’s hand then released it. “Though, if you want to get me a big bag of M&Ms, I wouldn’t say no, but only if you go with Lee to get them. No more lying and no more wandering off places by yourself. You were lucky Jared was such a nice guy.”

  Luka lifted his head. “Do you like him?”

  “Who? Jared?”

  “I liked him. He was cool.” Luka picked up his mug, blew some more before flicking his tongue out and testing the heat of his drink.

  “Sure, I liked him.” As much as anyone he’d met for the first time. Jared’s adorable confusion had certainly endeared him to Nate. Spending time in his company had been easier than Nate had expected, maybe because he was unfamiliar, didn’t know all the baggage of Nate’s past. Jared had been someone new, and brought with him new conversation, new experiences, new feelings. “I guess he was kinda cool.”

  Luka smiled, then lowered his drink, reaching for his journal. Loose sheets of paper were stuffed between the pages.

  Has he filled it again?

  “Do you need a new one?” Nate couldn’t remember how long Luka had been carrying around the same journal. He loved to write and draw and sometimes jotted down his feelings among it all. Nate didn’t pry, it didn’t feel right to, but occasionally, Luka would come to him, show him what he’d been up to.

  I’m curious, but that’s his own little world to populate with his thoughts and feelings.

  He hoped there would never be a day he worried so much about his son he would need to invade those private scribblings.

  “No. It’s not full, but I did something.” Luka opened the journal. “I wrote this for Jared.” He slid out one of the pieces of paper and held it out.

  “What is it?”

  “A letter.”

  “For Jared? That’s sweet, but—”

  “And one for Lee and Gregg and you, too.” He held out more sheets.

  Nate took the notes. He glanced at Lee’s then Gregg’s, both contained an apology, to Lee for lying and to Gregg for making him come into work early. He tucked them to the back of the pile and stare
d at the one for Jared. He scanned the lines of thanks Luka had written. Thanks for walking him home, thanks for being nice, thanks for coming to dinner, thanks for talking to his dad.

  “When did you write these?”

  “Before I got in the bathtub.”

  “I thought you were doing homework?”

  Luka gave a teeth flashing smile. “I did that, too.”

  “Really?”

  Luka nodded. “I only had math.”

  “Okay,” Nate said. He wasn’t wholly convinced but after today he wanted to trust Luka wouldn’t lie to him again.

  “I’ll drop Lee’s to her once you’ve gone to bed, and I’ll give Gregg his when I see him next.”

  “And Jared’s.”

  Nate pursed his lips. “I don’t know if that’s possible.”

  “But you told him to come to the bar,” Luka stated.

  “I did?”

  “For a cocktail.”

  “I thought you were busy playing games on my phone.” Nate scratched the back of his neck, tried to remember exactly what they’d talked about. The beginning of dinner was a bit of a blur, his heart still racing, his mind unsettled. “I guess I did.” It had been a general invitation out of politeness, there was no reason Jared would take him up on the offer. There was no guarantee he’d see Jared again.

  “So, make sure you give it to him.”

  “Luka.”

  Luka stared at him with a determined expression.

  “All right.” Nate nodded. “Sure. If he stops by the bar, I’ll pass on your letter.” He turned to the note intended for him, smiled at the strange little sketch at the bottom of the page. “What’s this supposed to be?”

  “What do you mean? That’s a burger.”

  “Ah, so it is. So, this is…” He eyed the three figures in a row.

  “Me and you and Jared getting burgers.”

  Nate laughed. “But there’s only one burger. I don’t remember sharing one burger.”