by R. J. Scott
“Whoops,” he said with a forced smile.
“What happened, Ethan?” Jared couldn’t wait to hear the latest story. Ethan mad-scientist-in-the-making went from one guy to another, forgot about them when he was deep in experiments, and nearly always ended up getting himself in trouble.
“Thank you for coming to get me.”
“Don’t change the subject.”
Ethan clutched his bags to his chest. “Marcus lied to me. He was married,” he said, and Jared touched his arm in reassurance because even though Ethan kept doing this to himself, Jared wasn’t going to be a shitty friend and say I told you so. “He had all this baggage, kids, three ex-wives, but he swore to me that he was free now, to be with me. But he lied. I was running an experiment, and there was this purple byproduct… I mean, it’s harmless, but I took it, which seemed like a good idea at the time. I don’t know what I was going to do with it, but I was angry, you get that right?”
“Ethan—“
“Then I stood outside his apartment, the one he kept so he had his single life, because I wouldn’t do anything to him in front of his wife, it’s not her fault. In fact, she seemed as if she might be a very nice lady when I spoke to her on the phone, and I—”
Jared shook his friend to stop the verbal diarrhea. “Ethan, breathe… and stay on topic.”
“Oh, Marcus called the cops, but one of his neighbors turned up, Officer Lester, and there was an altercation, a scuffle if you will, and bang.” He couldn’t make a bang motion with his hands, so he replaced it with a heavy shrug and a little jump.
“‘Bang.’”
“The device had a premature explosion, all over the officer, and of course, Marcus’ fancy car.” He bit his lip. “Marcus was more worried about his car than me. That’s not right.”
“Come on, let’s get a cab.”
“Can we afford that?” Ethan asked, and glanced up and down the street with concern.
“Yes, Ethan, we can.”
Ethan was quiet on the way home, lost in thought, and Jared had learned there was only one way to get Ethan out of his spiral of thoughts, and that was to change the subject well away from Ethan’s married boyfriend and purple dye all over said boyfriend’s expensive car, not to mention Officer Lester.
“So I went to a bar to see the dad of that kid I found.”
Jared waited for the words to compute, and then Ethan turned from staring out of the window and faced Jared in the dark interior.
“The kid?”
“You know, the one I told you about, on the steps outside work.”
“Oh, yes, I remember the kid, a boy, right?”
“Luka, and he has a dad.”
“Biologically, we all have dads.” Ethan grinned, because to him that was a cool joke.
Jared ignored him, because that was the only way to keep him on task and to forestall any more jokes in the same vein. “The dad owns a bar, Rhea’s Bar, and I went there for a drink, and we sat and talked for a long time.”
“Is he married?” Ethan’s smile dropped.
“No, Nate’s wife died, so he’s a widower and a dad.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of stuff to unpack.” Ethan patted his knee. “Sorry.”
“Huh? Sorry for what?”
The cab had stopped on a red and streetlights illuminated the interior of the car, and Jared could see Ethan appeared sad. “Sorry for whatever has you telling me a sad story about a date with a dad who has a son. Surely it didn’t end well.”
“It was great, and it wasn’t a date.”
“You had drinks.”
“Did you miss the part where he has a bar?” Jared was used to these conversations with Ethan that went off on tangents no one could follow, not even him, and he’d lived with Ethan for three years now.
“Oh, yes, a bar is certainly part of the equation, but you had drinks with him which has a very different connotation.”
“I did.” Jared sat back in his seat as the car moved again, knowing they were only a few minutes from home.
“Was it good?”
That was a loaded question. Jared had never felt so settled and happy than when he’d been sitting next to Nate talking about percentages and orders. Even now he could remember the scent of him as they leaned close, a mix of alcohol and whatever shower gel he’d used that smelled faintly of lemon. Or maybe it was polish from the bar. Whatever. All Jared knew was that Nate smelled wonderful, and was warm, and had a smile that lit him up from inside, and that Jared wanted to see him again.
“It was fun,” Jared offered after a while, but something in his words, or his tone, or maybe in the way he was sitting, and Ethan was on him like a pack of starving wolves on fresh meat.
“Oh my god, you like like him,” he announced and slapped a purple hand on Jared’s knee. “Tell me everything. He’s tall with dark hair, right? I know you like dark hair, and I bet his eyes are all shiny-bright, and he has a body to die for.”
Jared knew better than to ask him how Ethan had deduced all that, because Jared had a type, and it was tall, dark, and sexy, much as Nate was.
“I do like him.”
The cab pulled up outside their apartment and they slogged up the stairs to the fourth floor, and only when in the apartment, did Ethan curl up in the corner of the sofa and demand to know everything.
Jared told him what he felt he could, leaving out the fact that Luka was under the impression that he’d hired Jared, because it meant nothing. There was no way that Jared was staying away from Nate now, because after the drinks and the smiles and the laughing, whatever the barrier, Jared was intrigued and lusting after the gentle barman with sadness in his dark gaze, and bruises of exhaustion under his eyes. There was so much Jared wanted to know about Nate, what his hopes were for Luka’s future, what kind of dad he was, right down to what his favorite food was for when Jared took him on a date. So many times as they’d sat working Jared had fought the instinct to touch Nate, not to mention kiss him. It seemed to Jared that Nate needed to be kissed, and Jared very much wanted to be the person to do that.
“You’re really interested in this guy, aren’t you.” Ethan reached out and traced the purple handprint on Jared’s jeans.
Jared grinned and settled back in his own corner of the beaten-up sofa.
“I’m going to go see him again, at the bar, ask him and Luka out for dinner.”
“Him and Luka, eh?” Ethan gave him a knowing glance and Jared didn’t look away.
All he knew is that he was excited to ask them both.
After I get some more sleep.
Chapter Eight
“Have you got your toothbrush?” Nate called to Luka.
“Yes,” Luka shouted back.
“Clean underwear?”
“Dad,” he whined and appeared in the doorway to Nate’s bedroom. He shook his head. “Stop checking.”
“Do you have everything for school tomorrow?” he pressed, having already buzzed Pops into the building.
Luka pulled a face. “Yes.”
Nate chuckled. “Come here.” He wrapped Luka in a hug. “You promise to be good for your grandma and grandpa?”
“I’m always good.” Luka hugged Nate’s waist. “Nana Kay said we’re going to bake cookies.”
“Cookies sound amazing.” Nate rested his hand on Luka’s head. “Save me some?”
Luka leaned back and looked thoughtful. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Nate quirked an eyebrow. “You’re breaking my heart.”
“You said I shouldn’t lie. What if they’re really tasty and Pops eats them all?”
“Oh, Pops might eat them all?”
Luka grinned.
There was a knock at the door.
“That’ll be your grandpa. Go check your things one last time.”
“But Dad—”
“Do it,” Nate said. He twisted Luka so he faced the opposite direction and gently pushed his back. “For me,” he added.
“Fine.” L
uka slumped forward and swung his arms as he stomped back to his room.
Nate went to the door.
“Evenin’,” Pops said, hunching in his thick coat. “Is Luka ready?”
“Come in. He won’t be long.”
Pops rubbed his hands together, stepped inside, and pushed the door shut behind him.
“Thanks for having him tonight.”
“We love him staying over, you know that.” Pops smiled.
“I know,” Nate said, he glanced over his shoulder at the open door to Luka’s room. “Luka, are you nearly ready?” Nate folded his arms, meeting Pops’ gaze. “Also, I wanted to thank you for the hours you’ve been doing at the bar. It’s really helped.”
It was only two- or three-hour shifts here and there, but it was time Nate could make use of elsewhere, which then meant more time to focus on Luka as well.
“Here.” Luka was in the hallway, wearing his coat, beanie, and gloves. His rucksack was over his shoulder and he held an overnight carryall.
“Are you staying for a night or a week?” Pops teased and took the bag. “Geez, what have you got in here?” He lurched forward. “I’m kidding,” he said when Luka frowned at him. “Come on. Your dad needs to get ready for work.”
“Will Jared be there?” Luka asked.
“Jared? Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know.” Luka shrugged. “You gave him my letter and he…” He sighed. “Whatever.”
Nate opened his mouth, stared at his son. “Why are you so interested in Jared?” It wasn’t strange for Luka to get attached to people, but to do so after a single encounter seemed sudden. “Luka?”
“He helped me was all. I thought he was nice.”
“Your dad thinks so, too.” Pops rested a hand on Nate’s shoulder. “Don’t you?”
Nate glanced at Pops, then back at Luka who had his head down and wore a hurt expression.
Crap. What was my tone just now?
“Of course, I do.” He relaxed his shoulders when Pops stepped back. It was as if his brain had stopped working where Jared was concerned. Despite his insistence the only important person he needed in his life was Luka, Nate’s thoughts had turned to Jared on numerous occasions since his visit to Rhea’s last week. Spending time with Jared had been comfortable and yes, he was nice, and maybe they could be friends.
Maybe. But they lived in different worlds. Jared was a university student, though a little late to it, he had aspirations, dreams, a future. What did Nate have to offer to a friendship, let alone anything else? He was an overworked single dad, a widower, someone scared to put himself out there for fear he, or worse, Luka, were to lose someone again.
He crouched in front of Luka and smiled. “When did you get so big?” He looked up at Luka. “If he comes again, I’ll make sure I’m nice to him too.” He tugged on Luka’s sleeves then stood. “And I promise, if he does, I’ll say hello from you.”
A small smile twitched the corners of Luka’s mouth. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” He glanced at Pops. “Now, we’ve kept your grandma waiting long enough. You’ve cookies to bake, yeah?”
Luka nodded.
Pops put an arm around his shoulder. “Come on, kiddo,” he said and hugged Luka to his side. “Let’s leave your dad to his work.”
“Love you,” Nate said as they stepped outside. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He waved, watched them to the stairs before closing the door.
When he was alone. Nate stood for a moment. The apartment felt different.
Silent. Empty. Cold.
Was Luka happy here? Comfortable? Was it still the warm and loving home it used to be?
What he thought of this place, his wants, needs, it didn’t matter. He only ever wanted to see Luka smile.
That was enough.
“Have you had fun today?” Nate gripped his phone and leaned back in his office chair. He closed his eyes, listened to Luka and the sound of a barking dog in the background.
“Monty, down.” Luka giggled, the volume of his voice rising and dropping as he moved about. “It’s not for you.”
“Everything okay?”
“He wants my cookie.”
“Cookie? I thought it was bedtime.”
Luka fell silent.
“Well, whatever.” Nate sat forward. “My break’s nearly up so I guess I’ll say goodnight. Have a good day at school and I’ll see you when you get home.”
“Okay,” Luka said. “Night-night. Bye.”
There was the sound of rustling, then Kay spoke. “Hi, it’s me again. He’s on his way to bed so don’t worry.”
Nate laughed. “I’m never worried. Not when he’s with you.”
“Thank you.”
“I should get back to work. But thanks for everything.”
“It’s fine anytime, you know that. You should come around soon. I don’t feel like I’ve really seen you since Christmas.”
“Sorry,” Nate said.
“Oh, shush. I know you’ve a lot going on. Pops has been singing your praises, by the way. You, your staff, and your bar. I’m not sure he’d admit it but he’s really enjoying the work. So, thank you.”
“It’s me who should be saying thanks.”
“I’m pretty sure you already have. Several times.” She gave a light laugh. “I should let you go. Take care, sweetheart.”
“Thanks. You, too. Give him a big hug from me.”
“Always do,” Kay said. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
Nate hung up and placed his phone on the desk. He watched as the screen faded then turned off. He sighed, flinching when there was a knock on the office door. “Yes?” he called.
The door opened and Abi leaned inside. “It was quiet, so I figured you were done with your call.”
“I was saying goodnight to Luka.”
“I know. You always do when you’re here late.” Abi smiled.
Nate cleared his throat. “Did you need me for something?”
“Oh, right.” She raised her tattooed hands in front of her, as if she had forgotten her reason for being there. “There’s a guy asking for you.”
“A guy? Who? He got a name.”
“Jared something. He’s kinda cute and charming. Is he your… are you and him…”
Nate frowned as he realized what she was getting at. “No. He’s just a friend.” Though exactly what he meant by calling Jared his friend was still a little unclear.
“Huh. I see. Well, he asked if you were in tonight. I told him you were and would let you know. Hope that was okay.” She curled her lips then flashed her gritted teeth as she wore an awkward expression.
“It’s fine. As I said, he’s a friend. If you haven’t already, get him a drink and tell him I’ll be out in a minute.”
Abi raised her hand, offered him a salute. “Will do, boss.” She grinned, pulling the door closed as she left.
Nate sat back and laid a hand over his stomach. An unexpected mix of excitement and relief tumbled within him. Things had been piling up—stress of work, worry about Luka, the apartment, bills, everything. All meaning he was yet again neglecting his own feelings and needs.
My feelings? He wasn’t sure he understood them or himself anymore. Rhea had. It was as if a simple smile from her could cast a spell and make everything right. She had known what he needed before he knew himself. Always.
Sitting here isn’t going to achieve anything. It was better when he was busy. Sure, running the bar was hard and tiring but anything was better than an empty room and silence, just him and his thoughts. He grabbed his phone and left the office.
“Nate. Good evening,” Jared said with a short wave. He was perched on a stool at the bar, a bottle of beer in front of him. He smiled brightly and Nate could have been fooled into thinking everything was going to be okay. Jared’s smile wasn’t the same as Rhea’s, didn’t weave the same magic, but he had to admit it helped. He didn’t feel as alone as he had before.
Stupid, he chided himself. What was he
even thinking?
“Hey, Abi said you were here. Just passing through?”
Jared shook his head. “I came to see you.”
Nate’s heart leapt, and for the briefest of moments he was happy. He swallowed hard as his chest tightened and thumbed the back of his wedding band as guilt crept in—guilt for the fleeting happiness that had bubbled to the surface.
“Nate?” Jared leaned forward, slid his hand across the bar in Nate’s direction. “Are you okay?”
“I am,” Nate insisted. “It’s just been a weird, long day.”
“Weird how?” Jared’s expression was one of innocent curiosity.
Nate blew out a breath. “I don’t know really. Guess I’m getting hung up on things I should have figured out by now. Don’t tell anyone, but I’m a terrible grownup sometimes.” He quirked an eyebrow. “Wait. Is this you trying to psychoanalyze me or whatever you call it?”
Jared shook his head. “No. This is me trying to be a friend. I know you wouldn’t think it to look at me, but you should probably know, I have my moments of being a terrible grownup, too.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“I’m not. You should ask my boss. I’m surprised I’ve not been fired.” He gave an awkward laugh, his mouth twitching before he looked away.
“You said you worked part-time as well as being a student, but I’m not sure you ever said what you do.”
“Didn’t I?” Jared pursed his lips.
“If you did, I don’t remember.” It wasn’t hard to believe he’d forgotten with everything going on with Luka. “So, what do you do, for work?”
Jared shrugged. “Lots of things.”
Nate leaned his head to one side, stared at Jared.
“That makes it sound like I do something shady, doesn’t it?”
“A little.”
Jared laughed. “It’s a hire company. It provides staff for events and stuff. Temporary gigs.”
Nate wasn’t sure he completely understood. “So, staff for catered events? That type of thing?”
“Yes, kind of. But it’s not all that interesting.” Jared took a drink of his beer. “I just go where I’m told to. Do what needs doing.”