by Roxie Ray
“If she matches Atlanta’s description, it is a risk we will have to take,” Kloran said. “This is not an ideal situation for any of us, but reuniting Savii with her sister—even if there is only the slimmest of chances—will allow them both to heal. Unless your opinion on the matter has changed, Coplan?”
“Of course not.” I sighed. Kloran was right. We no longer dealt in ideal situations anymore. We could only do as much as we were able with what we were given. “And even if it is not Atlanta—”
“We have a duty to rescue the human either way,” Haelian finished for me. “Let us hope for the best and prepare for the worst, though. Coplan, you may use your discretion on whether to tell Savii of this or not, but if you do, you must ensure that her expectations are tempered. Best-case scenario, the sisters are reunited and can be returned to Earth. It will win us favor with Lady Idria as well as the High Council if we can provide proof that not every female we rescue ends up mated to one of us aboard the ship.”
“A sloppy matter to begin with,” Apex sneered. “While I cannot argue that the noble princes among us were free to claim their boons among the rescued females, tides on Lunaria have turned further against us ever since word reached the High Lords that the last female you reclaimed from the Rutharians has been mated to a commoner.”
“Careful,” Nion warned. As the commoner in question, he had every right to be on the defensive. It was his wife Apex was speaking of, and I doubted he took kindly to the idea that Alyse should have been married off to a High Lord instead.
“I consider you a friend, Nion King-killer. I do not grudge you your mate.” Apex held his hands up in surrender. “But we must remember that there are greater politics than your love for your wife to be considered here. The High Lords want human mates of their own to secure their lineages, while Idria and the High Ladies are pushing to return to looking for non-human breeding slaves to solve the population crisis. For as long we have the lust of the Lords and the jealousy of the Ladies to contend with, we must approach this matter with care.”
“I agree,” Kloran said. “We cannot undo what has been done, but we can seek to improve our situation for the future. Savii and Atlanta must have their memories erased as soon as they are well enough for the procedure to take—then, they must be immediately returned home. The fates of the remaining humans strewn throughout the galaxies are at stake.”
A cold sense of loss was writhing in my gut. It was one which I could not entirely place. I knew that Savii needed to return to Earth. I knew that it was what she wished—or, at least, what she said she wanted. But having now heard of her life on Earth, and knowing that she would be once again held captive by her parents’ wishes…
I did not want to admit it, but I did not want her to go.
I pushed the feeling down and nodded nonetheless. “Put together the rescue mission, then. I will keep Savii’s expectations tempered and continue to work with her in the meantime. It is the only way. I do not relish the thought of what actions Idria will take next if we do not return her to Earth soon.”
“Nor do I.” Haelian raised an eyebrow as he turned his gaze to me. “Speaking of…how is Savii progressing, Coplan?”
“Knowing how things are generally run on this ship, she is likely pregnant already,” Apex said with a roll of his eyes.
“She is doing well,” I told them, ignoring Apex’s comment. “Despite her initial reticence, she is opening up slowly.”
“They are asking about her health, Coplan, not her thighs.”
I shot Apex a glare. “I have no intentions toward Savii. It concerns me that I am being forced to make that clear once more.”
“Of course, Coplan. It is only…” Kloran chuckled. “I do not wish to make light of the situation, but…we do know how these things usually go. The more she opens up to you, the more her heart will open as well.”
“She is vulnerable right now,” Haelian added. “If you begin to get the sense that she is falling for you—”
“She is my patient!” I snapped without meaning to. “There is no romance bubbling between Savii and me, and I will not be talked down to on the matter again.”
As I stormed out, my fury thrummed in my heart, hot and spiteful. I had been warned over and over again not to fall in love with Savii—or to allow her to fall in love with me, as if I had any say in how she felt. I would not control her, as so many others had sought to do for her entire life, but I could control myself with great ease.
Did I wish for a wife of my own? A mate to share my life with, as Kloran and Haelian and Nion all enjoyed? Of course.
But I would take whatever marriage was arranged for me by my family—as I sometimes felt Kloran and Haelian should have done. Had they not fallen for their own mates instead of abiding by their family’s wishes, we would not be in this predicament in the first place. Kloran had broken his oath to his betrothed when he chose Bria instead, setting the precedence that those of us aboard the Avant Lupinia felt ourselves above the politics of Lunaria where humans were involved. Haelian had rebuffed Idria’s advances, stoking the embers that Kloran had laid, and the way Nion had claimed Alyse for himself had only fanned the flames.
I would not make the mistakes that they had, and I would not continue to allow them to treat me as though I was the one putting our position in danger by threatening to walk down that same path.
The political situation on Lunaria was an inferno of their own making. I would not overstep my boundaries as Savii’s healer, and I certainly did not seek to add fuel to the fire they had built.
Instead of returning to the medical ward where Savii was surely waiting for me, I went to the canteen. The rumblings of my rage had not yet left me, and I did not wish to approach Savii while angry. She had dealt with too many rage-filled males in her life already. It would be cruel and detrimental to her progress to mark myself as yet another.
A quick meal and some time to think would do me good. My anger towards my comrades was appropriate, perhaps, but poorly placed. Infighting would only lead to resentment, and resentment could easily spin out into disloyalty down the line. This, I now realized, was likely the true reason Idria had asked to speak with me privately. She reveled in sowing seeds of malice and frustration wherever she went. Did I truly grudge Kloran, Haelian and Nion their human mates? Of course not. They had fallen in love, a sensation I had not even come close to experiencing for myself. I could not be angry with them for what I could not understand.
But when my eyes fell upon a slender, dark-haired female sitting at a table in the canteen, her rose-colored lips parted in laughter as she sat between Ronan and Gallix, two warriors aboard the ship, I felt a whole new sort of rage.
It was Savii. Her face, so much more beautiful now that it was out in the light, was bright with joy and amusement. It pleased me to see her so happy, of course…
No, my anger was in that she was being made to smile by men who were not me.
“Tell her the one about the time you stole the flag from that Rutharian scouting mission,” Leonix suggested at the table. She sat across from Savii, a bloody piece of raw steak dripping from where she had impaled it on the tip of her knife.
“It was only a small thing,” Ronan told Savii with a gentle smile. “They were outnumbered, though they did not yet realize it, and we had the cover of a moonless night on our side—”
“I killed twelve men before they even knew what was happening,” Gallix boasted, puffing his chest out with pride. “Then, when they were panicking—”
I stood at a distance for a moment, contending with this new rage. Again, it was poorly placed. Of course, I could not have expected Savii to remain in her little room in the medical bay forever. It should have made me proud to see that she had finally begun to work on adjusting her eyes to lighted rooms and socializing with the others. In a small way, it did. But jealousy had taken hold of me in a way I was ill-accustomed to.
And the way I remembered it, Gallix had tripped over a sleeping Rutharian
halfway to the flag, alerting the entire camp to our presence before we were able to kill a single man.
“Twelve Rutharians, Gallix?” I smiled wickedly as I slipped into the seat next to Leonix. “That much have been incredibly difficult for you to do while you were nursing a sprained ankle. The way I recall this tale, you only wrestled with the one Rutharian—and even then, only after you had nearly stepped on him while he slept.”
“Twelve,” Gallix insisted. He gave me a look of quiet outrage, glancing between Savii and me as if to say, Really, Coplan? I am trying to impress this female here; must you ruin it with the truth?
Leonix chuckled. “Now that you mention it, Coplan, the flag story is yours, isn’t it? I seem to recall you coming back to the ship with their flag slung over one shoulder, and poor Gallix here over the other, whining and cursing up a storm.”
“You both sound like you acted bravely,” Savii said diplomatically. But the little smile she gave immediately after was for me and me alone. “I hope it’s okay that I left my room? Leonix thought I might want to come and try to socialize for a bit, and to be honest, without you around…”
“You were getting bored.” I returned her smile as my feelings of jealousy slowly dispersed. “Of course it’s all right. How are you finding your meal?”
I turned my gaze to the food that Savii had piled onto her plate. There was a small mountain of it: fruits, vegetables, charred meats of all sorts. A little of everything Lunarian cuisine had to offer. Leonix must have been encouraging her to try new things, with Ronan and Gallix cheering her on. Unfortunately, most of it had a single bite taken out of it—apparently many of the items had not been to her liking.
“It’s a little overwhelming,” Savii admitted with a small laugh. “But it’s all very…interesting. Most of this is nothing like what we eat on Earth.”
“No?” That disappointed me a little, but I supposed it was for the best. If Savii wasn’t staying with us, she would not need to become accustomed to Lunarian food like Kloran, Haelian and Nion’s mates had. “Perhaps we should see if the food articulator in your room can make you something that is more to your liking.”
Savii rubbed her stomach and nodded. “I’m pretty full from all the taste testing…but I have been kind of craving a milkshake, now that you mention it.”
“A milk-shake?” She came to me and I stood and offered her my arm. “What is that?”
“It’s, um…so, it’s just like the name.” She twined her arm with mine. “You take milk—”
“Breast milk?” I blinked in surprise as Ronan and Gallix snickered at the table. “That is…quite strange. On Lunaria, that is reserved only for cubs.”
“Cow’s milk,” Savii corrected me. “But, I guess…technically it’s from their breasts—or, well, their udders, but still—”
Ronan and Gallix roared with laughter as Savii and I took our leave, Savii still struggling to explain this milkshake business, myself listening intently and trying not to join them.
For Ronan and Gallix, Savii’s fascination with the milk of a beast’s breasts might have been a matter of great amusement, but for me, it was merely fascinating. This small human had much to teach me about the ways of humans, as it turned out.
And if that involved talk of breasts…
I made a point of not looking down Savii’s tight, low-cut top as we made our way out of the canteen, but as she continued to describe what an udder was, admittedly, it was difficult.
Beautiful as she was, there was little talk of breasts or milk that she could make without causing me to think of how she might look pregnant, teats swollen with milk of her own.
And as much as I tried to push that thought out of my head…try as I might, I could not.
“Here we are, then.” My cock was hard by the time we reached Savii’s room in the medical bay once more. The discussion of udders had involved much pantomime on Savii’s part, all of it leaving me incredibly distracted as she tried to create the shape of them for me with her hands in the air. Most annoying of all, perhaps, was that I still did not know what a milk-shake was—but presumably, it involved much jiggling. If Savii chose to act that out, I would likely have a heart attack. “How are you feeling now?”
“Really tired, honestly.” Savii sighed as we came to a stop in front of her door. “Leonix and I did a lot of walking before we went to eat, and it’s such a long way from the canteen to my room…”
I glanced down at her knees, which were trembling. A knee-shake, I supposed she would call it, though I still was not sure how one was meant to make a meal of it.
“Do you need me to carry you in? You look quite pale, Savii.” The color that had been in her cheeks while she ate seemed to have drained with every step we took on the way back to her room. “I fear you may have overexerted yourself. You promised me that you would not do that, remember?”
“Yeah…sorry.” She hung her head a little but let go of my arm just the same. “I’m okay, though. Just a few more steps until I’m in bed again, right?”
“As you wish,” I told her as she reached for the door.
Unfortunately, the next step she took caused her knees to give out from beneath her. She plummeted sharply to the floor and was lucky that I was still close at hand. I caught her beneath her arms just in time to stop her from hitting the floor and swept a hand beneath her back to steady her.
“Oh,” she breathed, blinking up at me as though she was in a daze. She pressed her hand to my chest gently as if to steady herself, though it was not necessary. I would not let her fall. “Sorry…I didn’t mean…”
“It is no problem, Savii.” I knew I should help her back to her feet, but for a moment, I could not. Her eyes were locked on mine, innocent and wide. The way her lashes, dark and thick, fluttered as she stared at me was too enchanting. I was stunned. “Are you, ah…”
“Yes,” she whispered. She made no movement to recover her footing either. It was almost as though she wanted me to hold her. Like she did not wish for this moment to end.
I could not blame her. I did not wish it to either. I was suddenly all too aware of how close we were. I held her like we were caught in an intimate dance, trapped in the soft glow of a spotlight. Her scent was gorgeous, rich and floral like a field of wildflowers beneath a full moon. My lips were so near hers, it was nearly too great of a temptation to bear.
And for a moment…a dark, lust-filled, entirely selfish moment…
Blood, how I yearned to claim those lips for myself. Her mouth would crush beneath mine, soft and sweet like berries, and she would feel my tongue slip against hers, its fork flicking wantonly, hot and ravenous for so much more than just a taste.
“Coplan…please…” She closed her eyes. Her body was trembling harder than ever now.
With that plea, I remembered myself.
This was wrong, and I was wrong for having wanted it.
I could not kiss Savii. I could not taste her. I should not have even been holding her in my arms in such a way.
I was a cruel, cruel thing, and Savii was too delicate and defenseless to stop me from taking what I wanted with anything more than her words.
I hated myself as I drew away and helped her to her feet once more. As soon as she could brace herself against the door, I backed away until I could no longer breathe in the intoxicating aroma of her natural scent.
“Forgive me, Savii.” I nodded to her door, even as my heart pounded in my chest, begging me to capture her in my arms all over again. “Can you—”
“Yeah, I think I can get to bed okay, but—” Her eyes were wide still, and she looked wounded by my actions. “Coplan, do you think we should talk about—”
“No.” I held up my hand, backing away further. I had never been the kind of man to retreat from a challenge, but in this case, the challenge was the retreat. “That was improper. I beg your forgiveness, Savii. And if you are able to get to bed on your own—”
“I can, but—”
“Then I must go.” I
turned without another word and forced my legs to move down the hall. “I will check on you in the morning. Have a good night.”
My voice burned in my throat to say it. I knew that what I had just done—what I had been so close to doing—would not leave her with a good night at all. I had overstepped my bounds as a healer, as a warrior. As a male in the presence of a female who did not need more unwanted desires from lust-filled men.
And though I had promised to check on her in the morning…
I did not know how I could go through with that promise.
If merely being close to her had driven me so close to taking and claiming all I desired from her…
How could I ever allow myself to even be in the same room with her ever again?
9
Savannah
I played that moment over and over again in my head for the next few days. Coplan’s breath against my lips, like a warm, gentle breeze on a chilly, cloudy night. His hands at my waist and my elbow, holding me up, keeping me safe. The long, dark blue lashes on his eyes, falling closed for that second when I thought he’d give in, then fluttering open again to reveal irises that were exactly the same deep, intense blue.
It had been a perfect moment—at least, until he’d pulled away. When I saw him again the next morning, I started to realize that the distance he’d put between us that night was something he was looking to make more permanent. Gone were the offers of massages when he came to my room to check on me. He didn’t ask if I wanted to be held anymore. If he’d given me another chance to hit him, maybe I would have, just to knock some sense into him, but it seemed like that was off the table now too.
“How are you doing today?” he asked as he came into my room three days later. It was the same thing he always asked now, in a stiff, cold, monotonous voice. He didn’t say my name anymore. His eyes didn’t leave his chart.