by Meghan Quinn
“Okay,” I said like an idiot.
Smiling, he pressed his lips against my forehead and said, “Have a good day, love. I’ll talk to you later.”
With that, he buttoned his suit jacket and put his phone in his pocket. I watched as he walked away, with ease as if the tension between us wasn’t hovering over us like a giant pink elephant.
Once the door to the apartment closed, I let out the long breath I was holding and leaned against the kitchen counter. What the hell have I gotten myself into?
Chapter Fifteen
The Melting Pot of New York City’s Finest Bodily Fluids
“Where’s Delaney?” I asked Derk who was hanging out in our apartment, looking rather fidgety.
“Out shopping.” He looked around the living room as I grabbed a lint roller and started cleaning my sweater.
I was getting ready for my date with Greg that I was semi-looking forward to now. It felt like more of a chore than anything at this point. I was excited about the pizza part though.
The last two days had been the most awkward of my life, thanks to Henry’s spontaneous kiss. All day yesterday, I thought about how he’d treated me in the morning and how it had felt right but also so weird. When I got home last night, I faked sickness and made sure no one came in my room by turning out the lights and practically hiding under my blankets so my Kindle didn’t shine too brightly.
Was I avoiding Henry? Of course. I didn’t know what to say to him, how to react to him, and the one person I wanted to talk to, the one person I worked my problems out with was the problem this time. I thought about talking to Delaney, but I didn’t want to get her in the middle of our little roommate drama, especially because she’d probably never let us live it down.
That left Jenny, so when I got to work yesterday, I sat in her office and waited for her to come in. Unfortunately, she and Henry don’t get along so she wasn’t much of a help when it came to talking it out. She kept telling me to forget about him and move on, that he was just playing me, which I didn’t believe was the truth. At least I hoped it wasn’t. He would have no reason to do such a thing . . . besides . . .
Cherry Chaser.
I couldn’t believe he was a Cherry Chaser. I couldn’t believe he would ruin our relationship for that. No way.
This morning, I slipped out quickly, avoiding him once again, and I knew he knew, because later he sent me a text stating he was displeased with not seeing me in the morning. I felt guilty, so damn guilty, but I was a nervous wreck whenever I was around him. And I hated that. I shouldn’t be nervous around him, ever.
I pushed the Henry drama out of my head when I got home from work and started getting ready for my date. I was hoping for at least an enjoyable night with Greg, who seemed like a good guy. I got a message from him earlier that he wasn’t able to secure us reservations at the pizza place, but he thought it would be fun to make pizza at his place, which I was comfortable enough with. I gave Jenny the guy’s information, normally a task assigned to Henry, and told her if I didn’t text her later tonight, he had abducted me.
I studied Derk some more and noticed he was really on edge, like bouncing his leg up and down, looking at his watch constantly kind of on edge.
Taking a moment, I sat next to him and asked, “Is everything okay, Derk? You seem a little . . . strange right now.”
“Fine,” he curtly said, still looking at his watch.
“I don’t buy it. What’s going on?”
Derk ran his hands through his hair, looked around again, and then pulled something out from his pocket. He held it out to me, and I gasped. I might have just died from happiness right now!
“Is that what I think it is?”
“Yeah.” He nodded.
“Are you proposing tonight?”
“I was thinking about it, but she’s taking forever to get home. I’m going to lose my nerve.”
“Why, do you think she’s going to say no?”
“She might. We haven’t talked about marriage or anything like that, Rosie. But I know I can’t be without her anymore. I can’t stand this her place and my place thing. I want us to live together, to share a life together.”
My heart melted right there on the spot. I liked Derk, but I just grew a little bit more fond of him after that.
“She’s going to say yes, Derk. No doubt about it. She’s crazy about you.”
“You think?” he asked, clearly fishing for compliments.
“I know, Derk. She is going to be so excited. How do you plan on doing it?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know really. I thought about doing something elaborate, but that’s not the kind of couple we are. I was thinking about meeting her in her bedroom and going down on one knee. Keeping it simple.”
“It will be a total surprise. Eep! I’m so excited for you two.” I clapped my hands.
“Thanks, Rosie.”
I thought about Derk and Delaney’s relationship over the years and how they started off as friends but found they were a lot more than friends as their time together went on. I didn’t blame them; they were electric together.
“It will happen for you, Rosie,” Derk said, interrupting my thoughts. “Just have faith. You’re going to end up with some stud, I know it.”
“Thanks, Derk.” I smiled from his words of choice. “I can’t believe you two are finally going to get married. I feel like you’ve been together forever.”
“We have, but I’m glad we started out as friends, because there is no relationship unless you’re friends first.”
“But weren’t you worried about losing that friendship, if things didn’t work out?” I asked, trying to sound casual about the question, but by the way Derk looked at me, he saw right through my motive for the question.
“I was more worried about not having Delaney in my life every second of the day. You know that feeling when something happens to you and there is only one person in the world who will understand you and who you absolutely have to tell?”
“Yes,” I responded. That was Henry. He was my go-to.
“That was Delaney. I realized at some point, I no longer only wanted her as a friend, I needed more from her, because I wanted her in my life at all times.”
“But crossing over that line, from friends to . . . more than friends, wasn’t it awkward?”
“No,” he said matter-of-factly. “It almost seemed like it was meant to be, like it was crazy we hadn’t been making out for years.”
“Hmm.” I twisted my hands in my lap as I thought about the other night, how my lips so easily glossed over Henry’s, how his hand roaming my body didn’t make me want to swat him away. No, I’d wanted to pull him even closer.
I’d read books where best friends got together and it always seemed so easy. Was this what it was like, to start to see your best friend differently? Did he see me differently? Or was I just being a girl?
“You should go for it. Henry is a great guy and adores you.”
“Excuse me?” I asked, feeling a little shocked that Derk had read my mind.
“Come on, the sexual chemistry between you two is so damn uncomfortable to be around. It would be great if you both did us all a favor and finally did the dirty deed.”
“I don’t want that though. To just have a night with him. That would ruin everything, Derk.”
“I don’t think he only wants one night with you, Rosie. You can see it in his eyes, the way he looks at you, the way he’s overprotective of you.”
“That’s him being a friend.”
“Is that right? Well, he doesn’t do the same thing for Delaney, does he?”
I opened my mouth to answer, to tell him he did, but when I thought about it, he really didn’t. Delaney and he were friends but not as close as Henry and I were.
“He doesn’t treat her the same because she has you. He doesn’t need to be so protective with her.”
“That’s crap and you know it.” Derk got up off the couch and walked toward Delane
y’s room, where I assumed he’d wait for her. “Just admit it, Rosie. You like Henry and he likes you. The sooner you two figure that out, the sooner you’ll be able to find what Delaney and I have. Believe me, I wish everyone had the same relationship I have. It’s the best thing in my life.”
With a smile, he walked into her bedroom and shut the door.
I slouched on the couch and tried to figure out where my heart was. Instead of being able to calm the nerves floating in my stomach, they continued to twist in knots.
The image of my lead character in my book came into my head and I thought about what she would do in the situation, what would I want her to do. Given I’m a romantic at heart, I would be beating my Kindle against my pillow, telling the girl to get over her stupid reservations and just go for it. Wasn’t that how all romantics were? Give love a chance. That was the soul element in every romance novel ever written—give love a chance.
It seemed so easy, to just put yourself out there, to give in to the feelings you’d kept hidden for so long . . . to put the most important thing in your life on the line.
If I ever lost Henry, because I thought he might actually want to start a relationship with me, I would never forgive myself. He was too important to me.
Ugh, I was that girl. That girl who couldn’t make up her damn mind. That girl in a novel I wanted to shake uncontrollably. Slap some sense into her. I could see the reviews now: God, Rosie was so annoying. Rosie was so wishy-washy. Rosie didn’t know a good thing when it hit her in the face.
Well, from an outsider’s perspective, love seemed easy, but when you’re the one in the hot seat, making the decisions, it’s not that easy putting your heart out there, gathering enough courage to fall into the unknown. Love wasn’t easy and love wasn’t kind. Love was something you sacrificed everything for in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, there was a person in this world who’d accept you for who you were.
Is that Henry for me? Was Derk right? Is that what Henry wanted for us?
The front door to the apartment opened, and I knew without even looking it was Henry by the way his shoes hit the wooden floors.
“Rosie, I’m glad you’re here. You feel like going to that swing club with me? Friday night swing?” He wiggled his eyebrows as he sat next to me.
I hated how casual he was with me when deep inside, my gut was twisting.
“I can’t,” I said. “I have a date with Greg tonight.”
Henry’s brow creased as he absorbed what I said. “That’s the guy with the dog?”
“Yes, I’m going to his place to make some pizza.”
“Dressed like that?” he asked, looking me up and down.
“Yes, what is wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“Seems a little revealing, don’t you think?”
I stood up and walked to a mirror in the living room. I took in the black outfit I had on. It was black pants and a black top, but the top had some lace in the front neckline, not really showing anything.
“No. It’s fine.”
“I think you should go change and while you’re at it, change into a swing dress so you can go dancing with me tonight.”
“Henry, I told you, I have a date.”
“Cancel,” he said as he came up next to me, grabbing my hands so he could pull me in closer to his body. His head lowered to mine so our foreheads were touching. “Come out with me, Rosie. Let me take you on a date.” He sounded so vulnerable, like he was trying to offer me the world but was nervous about it.
My lungs seized, and I knew I was going to start hyperventilating. Why was he doing this? He was changing the dynamics of our relationship? It made me so incredibly scared. Did he truly have feelings for me? If only I could read his mind.
Trying to not hurt him, I said, “We have a date Sunday; we’re going to brunch.”
With the touch of his finger, he lifted my chin and gazed into my eyes.
“I want a real date, Rosie. I want a date with you and only you, not your parents and not our friends. I want to take you out, open doors for you, spoil you, and take you home. I want it all, Rosie.” With me? He wants it all with me?
Being honest, I replied, “You’re confusing me, Henry. You’re making it seem like, like . . . you like me.”
He tilted his head to the side as he responded. “Would that be such a bad thing?”
Would it? Well Virginia would be happy, but right now Virginia would be happy with a lubed-up turkey baster. My inner girl, the girl who’d had a crush on Henry for so long wanted it, wanted him, but my heart wasn’t ready to lose my best friend.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I’m just so confused, Henry. The way you’re treating me, the things you’re saying, I’m afraid I’m going to lose you.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, genuinely confused.
“You’re my best friend. I don’t want something to happen between us and then lose you. I would be devastated.”
“You would be devastated? Hell, Rosie, I wouldn’t know what to do if you were no longer in my life.”
“Exactly,” I added while patting his chest. “Why mess with a good thing?”
His brow furrowed and he stepped back from me, clearly insulted, even though I didn’t mean to.
He rubbed his chin as he scanned me. “You know, Rosie, it surprises me how dense and naïve you can be at times.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Don’t you see the way I look at you every day, the way I touch you and talk to you? Can’t you see my heart beat out of my fucking chest every time I’m around you?”
“Yea, but it’s because you’re my friend, right?”
Shaking his head, he ran his hand over his face and then walked away.
Yup. I got the moron of the year award.
“Henry, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too, Rosie. Have fun with the dog lover tonight. I’ll be out for the weekend. Mikey invited me to the Hamptons.”
“Wait, does that mean you’re not going to brunch?”
“Yes, that means I won’t make it to brunch, since I’ll most likely be wasted starting tonight and ending Monday morning.”
“You’re really not going?” I asked, feeling crushed that he was already starting to shut me out.
“I’m really not going, Rosie. I’m sorry, but I don’t feel like being around you right now.”
“But, Henry.” My voice choked on a sob that wanted to escape. The minute he heard the tightness in my voice, he sighed, walked over to me, and pulled me into his chest. “You can’t just leave me. This is why I didn’t want anything to happen. I can’t have you mad at me, Henry. Please don’t push yourself away, I can’t handle it.”
Blowing out a frustrated breath, Henry nodded and then pulled away. “Sorry, love. Just give me some time right now. All right? I’ll see you Monday. Have a good weekend, and have fun with the dog lover. Don’t get into any trouble.”
A weak smile spread across his face as he nodded and walked away.
I could feel it. It was the beginning of the end for Henry and me. I knew he said it wouldn’t affect us, but it already had. But his words . . . Don’t you see the way I look at you every day, the way I touch you and talk to you? Can’t you see my heart beat out of my fucking chest every time I’m around you? I had no clue what to do. Did I see the way he treated me? Yes. It was him though. That’s how Henry was. But if he really felt like that, why was he already pushing himself away? Because with each backward step he made, a little piece inside of me died. I wouldn’t be able to survive without Henry. He was everything to me, absolutely everything.
My mood for my date with Greg was dampened, thanks to the horrible conversation with Henry I had right before I left, but I tried to put on a good face when I met Greg, who was just as handsome in his pictures as he was in person.
Along with Greg, was his best buddy, Bear, who seemed to be a very loving but protective dog. The dynamic between the two was endearing, and I could appreciate
the bond they had with each other, even though it might be weird that Greg practically made out with his dog every chance he got.
After some semi-awkward pleasantries and introductions, we jumped right into the pizza making, which was good for me because I was starving. And I need the diversion so I can’t see Henry’s crestfallen expression in my head, or think about what he said. .
Greg lived on the Upper West side and had a small but nice apartment. If your apartment wasn’t small in New York City, then you were raking in some good money. Greg was a young investment broker but according to him, he was on the “up-and-up” with his company and was looking at a promotion soon. He spoke animatedly about his job, like he actually liked it, and it surprised me to see someone so enthusiastic about their occupation.
Maybe it was because I despised my job. Delaney and Henry occasionally talked about what they were doing but, for the most part, kept their excitement to a minimum.
“So tell me, Rosie, what brought you to New York City?” Greg asked as he popped open a bottle of wine, something I would probably have to choke down because wine wasn’t my favorite of all the alcoholic beverages.
“My parents live on Long Island.”
“Ah, I never would have pictured you as a girl from Long Island.”
“Yes, I break all the stereotypes,” I joked. “When I was in high school, I wanted to get off the island and on the real one, so I worked my butt off in school and was accepted into NYU where I majored in English.”
“English? Interesting. Tell me, what’s your favorite book?”
“No doubt about it, Pride and Prejudice. It’s the ultimate romance in my opinion.”
Nodding, Greg handed me a glass of wine and went to the fridge where he pulled out a bowl of dough that he must have made earlier, because it seemed like the dough had risen throughout the day.
“Who is your Mr. Darcy?”
“Is that even a question? Colin Firth. Come on, Greg.” I smiled.
“Okay, just checking because if you said the guy who was in the new version of Pride and Prejudice, you know, the one with Kiera Knightley . . .”