by Meghan Quinn
I rolled my eyes and went back to the couch, where I sat and picked up my phone. I stared at the text messages that had come from Henry, and I wondered what I should do. He knew I was pregnant . . . and pushed me away. What did that mean? There was only one viable conclusion, but I really didn’t want to think it let alone say it.
Derk was right when it came to communication, but I was also nervous about what Henry wanted to actually say to me. Was he not ready to be a dad?
Text message after text message passed through my phone. I scrolled through all of them, questioning whether Henry and I were going to be able to make it. Or was the beginning of the end for us?
“One forty-two,” the nurse said out loud after I got off the scale. “One pound gain.”
“Thank you,” I said tersely, wanting to smack the grin off her face. I snatched my purse from Delaney and followed the nurse into the same exam room I had stormed out of only a few days ago.
“Miss Bloom, please go ahead and change behind the partition. There is a robe in the back.”
“I brought mine from the last appointment,” I said, pulling the robe I walked down the streets of New York City in. “Reduce, reuse, recycle . . . right?”
“Mm-hmm.” The nurse gave me a very judgmental once-over and then left the room.
Once the door was shut, Delaney gave me a disgusted look. “Well, she’s kind of a bitch.”
“Kind of? She’s been judging me since the minute I stepped on that damn scale. She wouldn’t take my word for how much I weighed.”
“What did you tell her you weighed?”
“That’s beside the point,” I answered, stepping behind the partition to get changed.
The room was cold, so taking off my clothes was unpleasant. I shivered when I put the stupid front-opening robe on. The flaps in the front wanted to expose everything, and the sleeves were cut wide enough that side boob was very prevalent.
Self-conscious, I peeked my head past the partition. “Um, could you not look?”
Annoyed, Delaney put down the magazine she was thumbing through. “Rosie, I’ve seen your vagina so many times, it’s as if it was my own.”
“But this is my whole naked body. Plus, I’ve gained some weight.”
Delaney scoffed. “Weight? Aka, baby. You’ve gained baby. Stop being a weirdo and strut it out here.”
“I find it disturbing that you want to see my body so badly.”
She shook her head no. “Yeah, not so much. I’m not really that interested in seeing what kind of private parts you have going on, but I want to have a conversation with you and having it while you hide behind that partition is stupid. Get your ass out here and sit on the damn table.”
I knew I was seconds away from Delaney dragging me out, and knowing her, she wouldn’t be gentle, so I closed the robe tightly and shuffled out to the table. Delaney stared at me the entire time.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” She smiled.
“Like you’re waiting for me to trip and fall, only to have one of my breasts land on a stirrup, propped up for everyone to see.”
“That would be a great day for me and something that would most definitely happen to you. Can’t blame a girl for wishing for the best.”
“You’re such a good friend,” I mocked. “Wanting to see the worst happen to me, so sweet.”
“Cool your tits, Sensitive Sally. If this pregnancy is going to be you complaining the entire time, I’m not sure I can be by your side.”
Her voice had a hint of humor in it, but I still had a sickening feeling in my stomach. If Delaney wasn’t there for me and neither was Henry, how in the hell would I do this on my own?
I looked at the ceiling, willing the tears to go away. I didn’t want to cry in the doctor’s office, but all it would take would be Nurse Scale Nazi to come back in here and judge me more.
“Why are you crying?” Delaney asked, slightly annoyed.
“I’m not crying.” I quickly wiped my eyes. “The lights are just bright.”
Delaney sighed and stood so she was looking at me while I lay flat on the table. Her eyes were soft, and she was concerned.
“Let’s talk about Henry.”
“There is nothing to talk about.”
Delaney moved a stray hair behind my ear. “Sweetie, you know I love you, but your stubbornness is so not attractive.”
“I’m not being stubborn. If he knew I was pregnant, why didn’t he ask me about it? Instead, he kept pushing me further and further away. I disgust him, Delaney. He wouldn’t touch me, even when I practically threw myself at him. He’s been nice and sweet, but that’s it. I think . . .”
My lip trembled as I tried to gather my words, to figure out the truth that was sitting on the tip of my tongue.
“What do you think?” Delaney encouraged.
“I think he wants to be just friends.”
Delaney shook her head. “Why would you think that?”
“Think about it. He hasn’t wanted to have sex with me, but he still cares about me. He takes care of me like he did when we were friends. And just like he used to, he’s only kissed me on the forehead . . . for weeks. That’s not boyfriend love, Delaney. Two weeks ago he asked me for space, and he hasn’t touched me since. I . . . I don’t think I’m the person he wants anymore, and he’s trying to figure out how to tell me without breaking me in two.” Because that’s the man Henry is.
Delaney thought about it for a second and took my hand in hers. “I can’t imagine that happening. I know he’s been weird lately but breaking up with you? That doesn’t seem like him.”
I turned my head to the side, away from Delaney’s sorrowful eyes. I stared at a picture of a uterus on the wall and tried to erase the images of Henry breaking up with me. I couldn’t fathom the kind of pain I would experience from such a loss. I wondered if getting involved with him in the first place was a good idea. Would he be supportive of this pregnancy? From the way he’d been so standoffish lately, I doubted he wanted to be a part of it. If anything, he would feel obligated to lend a hand because that’s who he was. He was a good guy.
But would I be stuck at home most nights, taking care of the baby, while he was off at the bars looking for women like he used to?
Why did he know and not tell me?
That was the question that kept running though my head. Why wouldn’t he say anything? Was he hoping I just “took care of it”?
No, never. I shook my head to myself.
In the faint distance, I heard Delaney say something to me, but I didn’t listen. I tuned her out completely as I shut my eyes and tried to clear my mind of all negative thoughts. This was supposed to be a happy time in my life, but for the life of me, I couldn’t smile.
Chapter Forty-One
Bro-mander in Chief
HENRY
“You look good in this office,” Freddy said, observing my new space. “Do you know how you’re going to decorate it? This is an important decision. You could go classic with woods and simple textiles, or you can go baller status like Eric and have glass everywhere. Dude must have stock in Windex because that place is spotless.”
I stared out the window while Freddy blabbed on about decorating. The man was infuriating most of the time, when he wasn’t confusing the hell out of me.
“You could have a settee over here with a matching ottoman for those days you just want to kick your feet up with your laptop. I think a Persian rug, a mini fridge for your sparkling water, and an espresso machine off to the side are musts. You could do some lovely hosting in here.”
“What are you doing in here?” I asked Freddy, irritated more than I wished I was.
I got up this morning, tired as fuck, and empty. It was the first night Rosie and I had spent apart from each other since we’d been together. I didn’t like waking up to her side of the bed being cold and untouched. I didn’t enjoy taking a shower this morning without her cute singing filling the small bathroom. I also didn’t li
ke eating breakfast by myself, watching Sir Licks-a-Lot make out with himself. I came into work early, attempting to get my mind off Rosie, but Freddy chose to invade my space and talk to me about interior design. I didn’t care about my damn office. I cared about Rosie and what was going on with her.
Freddy sat in a chair across from my desk and set his hands in his lap. “I feel like you’re mad at me, Bro-mato.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, telling myself not to take out my frustrations on Freddy. He was trying to be excited for me.
“Rough night.”
Freddy nodded and then looked at my office door. His hands twisted, and it looked like he wanted to say something to me.
“What? You look jittery.”
“Uh, can I speak man to man with you?”
“Sure?” I asked in a question, more than a statement.
Silently, he got out of his chair, shut my office door, and then sat back down. He rubbed his palms on his khaki pants, looking nervous as hell.
“I don’t really know how to say this.”
“Just say it,” I answered, annoyed.
He nodded and took a deep breath. “After the party on Saturday, Tasha came home with me.”
“Okay. Good for you, man.”
“I know I broke guy code and everything, since she was your girlfriend.”
I held up my hand and stopped him. “Freddy, I couldn’t care less if you and Tasha hooked up. She means nothing to me. I honestly don’t give two shits.”
“Well, that’s the thing, we didn’t hook up.”
Shit.
I tried not to roll my eyes. I didn’t want to hear about how Tasha was still hung up on me or what kind of evil plan she conspired to get back at me. I wasn’t in the mood. All I wanted was to talk to Derk then get to Rosie as soon as possible.
“Okay, well maybe next time.” I tried to brush him off by unpacking pictures of Rosie from one of the boxes I used to pack up my cube.
“I don’t think there will be a next time. She didn’t seem to appreciate what happened.”
I quirked an eyebrow at Freddy. “And?”
His hands continued to twist in his lap, sweat formed on his brow, and I would bet one hundred dollars if I lifted his arm there would be a pool formed on his light blue button-up shirt.
“I couldn’t get it up.”
I stilled. Not really what I was expecting to hear, and something I definitely didn’t want to talk about with Freddy. I barely knew what his favorite coffee was; I didn’t want to hear about his bedroom problems.
“Uh, well . . .” I was speechless.
“It was terrible,” he continued. “She took off her dress, revealing her tits to me, and nothing happened. Not even a twinge from my dick. Not even the slightest salute. I thought maybe if I motor-boated her, pressed my tongue against her nipple, something would stir up . . . but that didn’t do it either. She touched my dick and noticed I wasn’t hard; Then she dressed and ran.”
I sat there, stunned, not sure where to go with this. “Still don’t know what to say.”
“Then I got nervous that my dick was broken, so I quickly went to my computer and pulled up some of my favorite porn movies with James Deen in them, and settled into my chair. Within a few strokes, my dick was alert and ready to be smacked around.”
I cringed. “Fuck, dude. I don’t want to hear about you jacking off. Does that really seem like Monday morning talk? Let alone office talk?”
“I had to tell somebody.” He leaned forward. “Bro-mander in chief, I hit it hard and had a giant orgasm.”
I gave him a thumbs up. “Good for you, man. If you will excuse me—”
“You’re not hearing me. I couldn’t get it up with Tasha, but then I watched James Deen spray it on a chick’s tits, and I was coming harder than ever before. Dude . . . I’m gay.”
“I . . .” I paused and thought about what he just told me. “What?”
Freddy puffed his chest out and grabbed a rainbow flag from his pocket. He waved it in the air as if he was surrendering. “I’m waving my flag. I’m gay. You’re the first person I’m telling.”
“Wow.” I sat back in my seat, caught a little off guard. “That’s great, Freddy. I’m happy for you.”
“Really?” Freddy visibly relaxed in his chair and took a deep breath. He wiped his forehead and smiled. “Man, I thought you were going to ask me to leave.”
“Why the hell would I do that? Freddy, I don’t care what your sexual orientation is. Really doesn’t matter to me, as long as you’re happy.”
Freddy pursed his lips and nodded. He pointed at me and said, “I knew you would be cool about this. I just knew you would accept me. Come here, big guy.”
Circling my desk, Freddy pulled me up from my chair and embraced me, locking me in his titan-like grip.
“This makes me so happy,” he whispered in my ear. “You’re going to be my wingman. I need someone out there helping me scout the men.”
“I’d be glad to,” I answered him, talking into his shoulder.
Awkwardly, Freddy rubbed his head against mine, turning a man hug into something a little more, something I really wasn’t into. Thankfully, my phone rang, so I pushed away from him and straightened out my suit jacket.
“Uh, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to answer that.”
“You got it.” Freddy tucked his shirt into his pants and righted his belt. “Let me know when you want to go out. I’ve been doing a lot of research about the gay bar scene. I’m ready to make an impact on this community. Gay rights.” He put his fist in the air.
“Gay rights.” I mimicked.
Freddy pumped his chest twice and then pointed at me. “You’re my bro, Henry.”
“Yup, okay. I’m going to answer this now.”
Ducking out, Freddy left my office, making sure to close the door for privacy. I answered the phone and made a note on my desk to send some kind of coming-out present to Freddy. I had no clue if that was something people did, but I wanted to make sure Freddy felt accepted. Maybe some kind of guide to the New York gay scene.
“Hello?”
“Dude, you’re in for a treat,” Derk said.
I slouched in my chair and held on to my head. “What’s going on?”
“She admitted to being pregnant. I guess she went to the doctor on Saturday. They confirmed it.”
Saturday, my mind went back to Saturday and what happened. The party, the vagina balls, her need to be incredibly sexy for me. Funny thing was, she didn’t even have to try. Was she feeling self-conscious about being pregnant?
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
“She’ll ask you the same thing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She knows you know she’s pregnant.”
I shook my head. “Why does this feel like an episode of Friends? Did you tell her I knew?”
“She might have guessed it, but that’s beside the point. She doesn’t think you want to be with her, since you never said anything to her about knowing. Dude, this situation is so fucked up and all because you two are idiots and didn’t talk to each other.”
“It wasn’t that easy,” I sighed, massaging my temple. “I had to score this promotion first. She’s been insanely hormonal lately. I had to secure our future, but now it’s a giant mess. Where is she?”
“They’re on their way to the doctor’s for an appointment. She was so scared at her appointment on Saturday that she left without finding out any information from the doctor. Delaney took her to figure everything out. She thinks she’s three months pregnant.”
“I can believe that,” I answered. “Find out from Delaney the doctor address. I need to be there.”
“I’ll text you.”
“Thanks.”
When we hung up. I quickly typed an email to Eric, advising I needed a personal day today, and that I would be back to work tomorrow. I had a girlfriend to tend to but needed to make a quick stop at the apartment before I made it to the ap
pointment.
“Is Rosie Bloom with a doctor right now?” I asked the receptionist at the office. “I’m her boyfriend, and was supposed to meet her here.” I might have a lied just a little, but I didn’t want to miss this appointment. I was out of breath from running around and trying to make it here on time, but I had a feeling it would be worth it.
“Yes, I’ll show you to her room. Meet me at the door to the side and I’ll guide you back.”
“Thank you.” I gave her my most winning smile, grateful for not having to plead my case.
The doctor’s office was full of waiting women, all with different-sized bellies. Some looked completely and utterly miserable—they were the ones with the bigger bellies—and others were positively glowing. I wondered what Rosie looked like now that she knew. Probably terrified, since she wasn’t secure with our relationship right now.
The nurse receptionist met me at the door and guided me down a hallway decorated with pictures of pregnant women and female organ charts. We walked all the way to the back and then she knocked on the door on the right.
“Come in,” Delaney’s voice rang out.
“Go ahead,” the nurse nodded, letting me let myself in.
I took a deep breath and opened the door to find Rosie looking forlorn, troubled, and sad, and Delaney hovering over her.
“Henry, what are you doing here?” Delaney asked.
I shut the door before I answered. I wasn’t quite keen on letting everyone in the building hear our business.
“I didn’t want to miss this appointment,” I answered her. Rosie briefly glanced at me, but then turned away. I saw the tears in her eyes. I glanced at Delaney and pleaded with her. “Can you please give us some privacy?”
I was ready for her to put up a fight, but from the look of the hangover she was sporting, she was happy to leave. Rosie was a handful at times, especially right now, so I sensed her relief.