“Is that a problem?” she asked. She knew some men preferred experienced women. She hoped he wasn’t one of them.
Jackson shook his head. “It’s not a problem, but it is surprising. How did you manage it?”
Christina picked up a pillow in an attempt to cover her nakedness. “I don’t know how to answer that.”
Jackson took the pillow away. “No answer needed. It was a rhetorical question. I never expected you were a virgin, that’s all.”
“How does it make you feel?” she asked.
Jackson knew he had to be honest with her. “It makes me scared, actually. I wanted to please you before. Now that I know it’s your first time, I feel that I have to please you.” He smiled then added, “If I don’t, you may decide never to have sex again, and that would be a real tragedy.”
Christina relaxed at his words. She reached up and ran a finger down the side of his face. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I may just decide that I don’t want to have sex with you again.”
Jackson could see she was teasing, and he was relieved. She was back with him. “That would be an even greater tragedy.”
She lay back on the bed. “So, do you want to make love to a virgin or not?”
Jackson stared at her naked body, beautiful in its openness and precious in its purity. “I want to make love with you more than I’ve ever wanted to make love to a woman. Are you sure you want your first time to be with me?”
She pulled him down to her. “More than you know, Jackson. More than you know.”
***
Christina awoke first. Jackson woke her with his snoring. He snored loudly. She couldn’t move because one of his arms was thrown across her body. She contented herself by studying him in his sleep. Never again would she look at him and not think of this night. Never again would she look into his eyes and not remember the passion they had held for her. Never again would she look at his lips and not remember the ways and the places they had kissed her. Never again would she look at his hands and not feel the sensations they made her body feel. As her gaze moved lower on his anatomy, she knew she’d never think of Jackson without thinking of this, her first experience of love. He made it very special.
Thoughts of the past night were having an effect on Christina. She wished Jackson would wake up, but she wasn’t bold enough to wake him. His eyes were still closed and he was still snoring. Frustrated, she focused her eyes on the ceiling and began counting sheep. Maybe she could get back to sleep. One, two, three . . .
Jackson awoke with a start. He thought he heard someone counting. He looked over and saw that Christina was the culprit. She was staring at the ceiling. He turned his head to look at the ceiling.
“What are you counting?” he asked.
She stopped and looked at him. “Jackson? I didn’t know you were awake.”
“What are you counting?” he asked again.
“Sheep. I’ve been trying to get back to sleep.”
“You must not be sleepy if you’re counting sheep.”
“I’m not, but I couldn’t get up without waking you, so I tried to get back to sleep.”
Jackson looked at her, as if looking into her soul. “I see what you mean.”
She was suddenly shy. “Now that you’re awake, I don’t have to worry about that.” She removed his arm and got up from the bed.
Jackson raised up on an elbow. “Where are you going? Come back here, it’s not time to get up yet.”
Christina looked back at him. “Some things can’t wait.” She closed the bathroom door.
Jackson kept his eyes on the door. He thought Christina had forgotten that she was naked. He hadn’t. He wanted to see her walk back to the bed. She walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. “No fair,” he said. “I was waiting for the view.”
She sat on the bed next to him. “You’ve seen enough already.”
“I could never see enough of you,” he said, as he unknotted the towel. When she was naked, he kissed her and began again the melody they had started earlier.
***
Christina was lying across Jackson’s chest when he woke up. He could tell by the steady rhythm of her heartbeat that she was asleep. She was exhausted and he was satisfied. She had lost control more than once during the night. He was certain that her first experience at lovemaking had been good for her. It had been for him, too. Her inexperience showed, but she had a natural passion that overcame all her inexperience.
A wave of apprehension passed over Jackson as he thought about the Monday afternoon staff meeting. How would Christina act once they were back in Atlanta? Would she regret this weekend? He didn’t have the answers and he didn’t want the questions to ruin what was left of the weekend, so he pushed the thoughts aside.
He slapped Christina playfully on her soft bottom. “Wake up, sleepyhead. You’re going to sleep the day away.”
Christina grunted but didn’t open her eyes. Jackson decided to let her sleep a little longer. He gently moved her from his chest to the bed. He looked at her for a few moments, then he got up.
She was still asleep when he came back in the room forty-five minutes later. He carried a tray to the bed and placed it next to her. He gave her a soft kiss on the lips. “Wake up, sleepyhead,” he said again. “I have a surprise for you.”
She rolled over to face him, but she still didn’t open her eyes. He tickled her nose with a rose. She shook her head to get rid of the irritant. He tickled her again. She shook her head again. He tickled. She shook. She looked so funny that he laughed. She opened her eyes then.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
He pointed to the tray, then handed her the rose. “I’m serving you breakfast in bed,” he said.
She gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “A red rose.”
Jackson remembered then. How stupid could he be? He took the rose back. “I’m sorry, Christina. I wasn’t thinking.”
She smiled a real smile and took the flower back. “Maybe it’s a good thing. Now when I see red roses, I’ll think of you.”
“Are you sure you want to keep it?” He mentally kicked himself for being so inconsiderate.
“I’m sure,” she answered. “It was a sweet idea.” She gave him a short kiss. “Thank you.”
He gave her a kiss in return. “You’re welcome. Now, let’s feast on this breakfast that I’ve prepared with my own hands.”
Christina raised a brow. “Your own hands?”
He held his hands up to her. “These hands picked up the room service menu. These hands dialed the room service number. These hands opened the door for the server. These hands tipped the server. If that’s not preparation, I don’t know what is.”
Christina laughed before taking a bite of the French toast. “That’s one way of looking at it.”
After they finished eating, Jackson slid over to Christina and pulled her into his arm. “It’s never been like this for me before. You were the virgin, but you made me feel like one.” He took her face in his hands. “Being with you was like making love for the first time.”
At her look, he felt the need to clarify. “Making love, not having sex.”
“Are you saying you’re in love with me?” she asked.
“I don’t know much about love,” he answered truthfully. “I know I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never been with a woman the way we were together last night.”
“So, you’re saying you’re not in love with me but you feel you made love to me. That doesn’t sound right.”
He pulled her closer. “I know it doesn’t sound right, but I have a problem with love.”
“You want to talk about it?”
He shrugged. “What’s the use? It won’t change anything.”
“It’ll help me understand you better.”
He squeezed her shoulders. “It sounds stupid when I say it.”
“Say it anyway.”
Jackson lay back on the bed and pulled her wit
h him so she lay across his chest. He rubbed his hand back and forth in her hair. “It goes back to my parents.”
“What about your parents?” Christina asked.
He was silent a while, trying to decide what to say.
“Jackson . . .” Christina softly whispered.
He spoke slowly. “I have a lot of good memories of the three of us—my mom, my dad, and me. When I was fifteen, my mom left. She just left. One day she was there, the next she was gone. To this day I don’t understand it. She said she loved my dad, she loved me, but she left us. What does that say for love?”
Christina heard his pain. “It says that your mother made a mistake, Jackson. That’s all it says.”
Jackson continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “My dad never got over it. He’s never been the same. He stopped smiling the day she left. He stopped laughing. When she left, she took all the love with her.”
Christina hugged him to her. “Your dad made a mistake, too.”
“You’re telling me. He should have gotten on with his life. He should have showed her that he didn’t need her. Instead, he flushed his life down the toilet.”
“That’s not the mistake I’m talking about. His mistake was not seeing that his wife hadn’t taken everything. She left you. His mistake was in not seeing that you were there to receive his love and to give him love in return.”
“Well, I didn’t need him.” Jackson spat out the words. “I went on with my life.”
Christina knew Jackson wasn’t ready to face how much his dad, not his mother, had hurt him, so she let it go for now. “It was only my mom and me. I never knew my father,” she said.
“You didn’t miss much.” There was a chill in his voice and she knew he was still thinking about his dad.
“I think I did. I don’t even have those early memories that you have. I used to dream about having a dad like everybody else.”
“What did your mom think about that?”
“She never really knew how much I missed him. She only talked about him when I asked questions.”
“Did he die when you were young or something?”
“He died before I was born. Before he and my mom could be married. My mom was a single mother before it was fashionable.” Christina gave a hollow laugh.
“Was that hard for you?” he asked.
“Teasing from kids, that’s all,” she answered in a quiet voice.
He hugged her closer. “That can be a lot for a little kid to handle.”
“I weathered it all right.”
“No scars?”
Scars, yes. And a lingering emptiness that had followed her all her life. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
They held each other for a while. “What do you want to do today?” she asked finally.
Jackson leered at her. “I’ll give you three guesses.”
“You have a one-track mind, Jackson Duncan.”
He nuzzled her behind her ears. “But what a track it is.”
“Stop, I’m serious. We can’t stay in bed all day.”
“Why can’t we?” he asked, his tongue in her ear.
Christina felt her resistance slip a notch. “Because it’s so . . . decadent.”
He laughed.
“Don’t laugh.”
He continued laughing. “Is that a virginal flush I see on your face?” He nuzzled her again. “I thought we’d gotten rid of that last night.”
Christina inclined her head to give him better access. “Don’t you have to check out of your hotel or something?”
He stopped nuzzling. “Damn. I had forgotten about that. I’d better get dressed and get over there.” He kissed her on the nose. “Want to come with me?”
Christina shook her head. She needed time alone to get her feelings together. “You go ahead.”
“Come with me,” he urged. “What else do you have to do?”
She saw something akin to fear in his eyes. “I’ll be here when you get back,” she said. “You are coming back, aren’t you?”
He grinned. “I’ll be back before you know I’m gone.” He got up then and began to dress. “What time are you checking out of here?”
She sat on the bed and watched him dress. “Around three. I asked for late checkout because I have a late flight, eight tonight.”
“Why so late?”
“I’m having dinner with Walter and Rosalind. Business.”
“Oh.” Jackson momentarily stopped buttoning his shirt. “And I’m not invited?”
She didn’t miss the flash of annoyance that crossed his face. She’d have to talk to him about this attitude, but not today. “Not Optima business, Jackson. New project planning.”
“Oh.” Jackson was dressed now. He looked at his watch. “I should be back by noon.”
“I’ll be here when you get back,” she assured him.
Christina watched Jackson leave the hotel room. As soon as he closed the door, she flopped back on the bed and thought, Oh, God, what have I done?
***
Jackson felt as though he could run the distance to his hotel, he had that much energy. There was something right about him and Christina. He knew she still had reservations, but he also knew that she was more involved than she wanted to admit. She was not a woman to sleep with a man when she had no feelings for him. Plus, she had been a virgin. Jackson grinned when he remembered his concern about pleasing her. She had been pleased, all right. Once she’d gotten the hang of it, which didn’t take long, she had more than enjoyed it. A man likes to know that he pleases his woman, and he was sure that he had pleased Christina.
There was no doubt that she pleased him. She had been so giving and so responsive. He hated being away from her now. He found acceptance in her arms. He needed that as much as he needed air to breathe. His euphoria began to fade as he realized how quickly he had connected with her. He shook off the dark thoughts and set himself to enjoy the relationship while it lasted.
***
Christina met him in the lobby. When he saw her standing there in blue, all he wanted was to be back in bed with her.
“I decided to wait for you here,” she said. “Let’s go to one of the Harbor Islands and have a picnic.”
“That’s a good idea. Did you check out?”
Christina shook her head. “I’m staying another night.”
All right, Jackson thought. She doesn’t want this to end yet, either. Maybe. “Does your staying have anything to do with us?”
She shook her head again. “Walter and Rosalind postponed the meeting until tomorrow. Rosalind called after you left.”
Jackson hoped his face didn’t show his disappointment. “Must be something big for Rosalind and Walter to cancel a meeting. What’s up?”
“You’ll never guess.”
Jackson wasn’t in the guessing mood. He was uncomfortable with Christina having meetings with Rosalind and Walter that didn’t include him. “I believe you, so tell me.”
“Walter and Rosalind are getting married.”
Jackson turned to give her an amazed look. “I didn’t know they were anything more than friends. When did this happen?”
“I have no idea when it started. They told me yesterday at the reception that they were getting married.”
“You knew yesterday?”
Christina nodded.
“Why didn’t you mention it before now?”
Christina shrugged. If Jackson only knew how large a role that news had played in her decision to invite him back to her hotel . . . “It slipped my mind.”
“I find that hard to believe. This isn’t the kind of news that slips your mind.”
She lifted a brow at him. “There were other things occupying my thoughts.”
Jackson smiled then. “I can see how you could have been distracted.” He shook his head. He couldn’t believe it. “I had no idea. Walter and Rosalind. Who’d have thought it?”
“I never would have.”
‘They did a pretty good job of keeping their professional and personal lives separate. They’re an example for us.”
Christina looked at him. “What do you mean?”
“If Walter and Rosalind can pull off a romantic relationship and a professional relationship without any negative consequences, there’s no reason why we can’t do it, too.”
Thirteen
Christina didn’t say anything. She had been thinking the same thing since she’d found out about Rosalind and Walter. It scared her. All her reasons for not having a relationship with Jackson were crashing down around her. All her excuses were gone. She watched Jackson as he led her to the car. She liked everything about him. His looks. His height. His professionalism. His easygoing nature.
“Why so quiet?” Jackson asked, as he opened the door for her.
She slid in. She was glad that he had to walk around to his side of the car. It gave her time to think. “Things are happening so fast,” she said, when he was seated next to her.
“By things, I guess you mean us?”
“Yes, I mean us. It’s happening too fast.”
“Getting scared?”
It was uncanny how easily he had read her emotions. “Fear is just one of the emotions I’m feeling.”
“Can you tell me about it?”
She bit her lower lip. Again, he wants me to open up. “I don’t know if I can. I can’t even explain the feelings to myself.”
“Do you like what you feel when you’re with me?”
She could only stare at him. “What do you think?”
“I want to know what you feel.”
Jackson reminded her of her mother in his ability to keep her focused. “Yes, I like the way I feel when I’m with you.”
He smiled and she thought she saw relief in his eyes. “It feels good to hear you say that,” he said. “How are you feeling now?”
She wanted to tell him. “Honestly?”
He nodded.
“Like I could lose myself in you.” Then, to lighten the conversation, she said, “Maybe first sex at my age damages the brain cells.”
He didn’t laugh. “Do you regret it?”
She knew the answer, but she paused before telling him. How could he think she regretted it? He was a most gentle and tender lover. She felt warm all over when she thought of the night they had shared. She covered his hand that rode on the shift column with her own. “No, I don’t regret it. It was beautiful. Thank you.” She reached over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
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