“I’m just telling you what I heard.”
Jackson sat down again. He needed to be calm if he was going to get the information he wanted. “Who is he? She couldn’t have met somebody new this quickly, could she?”
“Maybe it’s somebody she already knew. I don’t know, man.”
“I can’t believe she’d actually plan to marry somebody else and keep my child from me. That doesn’t sound like Christina.”
“Maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe she’s not engaged.”
Jackson didn’t believe that. Christina was engaged. She was going to have the baby without telling him. And she was going to marry some man and give that man his child. “Thanks for the info, buddy. I owe you one,” he said.
Jackson hung up the phone slowly. “So Christina is planning to get married? Over my dead body.”
Twenty-Four
Christian walked up behind Louise and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You can’t live her life for her, Louise.”
Louise leaned back against him. “I want her to be happy, Christian. I don’t want her to make the same mistakes that I did.”
Christian gently turned Louise around. “It’s her decision.”
“I know, but can you believe she’s really thinking about marrying this Reggie character?”
Christian spoke calmly. “He’s a good enough fellow. You can see that he loves her.”
“She doesn’t love him, though. She’s still in love with Jackson.”
“How can you be so sure? She and Reggie get along very well. And he’s excited about the baby. He’s been there for her. That has to count for something.”
“He’s a good friend. You can’t build a marriage on that. You need the passion.”
“Are you talking about Christina or yourself?”
He was right . . .she was thinking about herself. She’d never married because she’d never felt the passion she felt with Christian with anyone else. “I’m talking about Christina.”
Christian put his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. He placed his chin on her head. “You still feel it, too, don’t you?”
Louise placed her hands on his. “It’s almost like it was yesterday.”
“I love you, Louise.”
She knew it. She had known it from the first phone call. Theirs was a forever love. “I love you, too.”
She knew he was going to kiss her. She leaned up on her toes as he leaned down to her. He tasted the same. She remembered it. She lifted her arms around his shoulders. He was bigger, wider, more muscular. He had been a boy then; he was a mature man now.
When he lifted his head, she saw tears in his eyes. She wiped them away with her fingers and smiled. “Now, what are we going to do about our daughter?”
***
Christina placed her hand on her abdomen. “Reggie, he’s moving. My baby’s moving.”
Reggie moved his hand next to hers. “Let me feel.”
She looked at Reggie’s hand resting next to hers. “It’s a miracle.”
Reggie moved his hand across her belly. “I don’t feel anything.”
“He’s stopped,” Christina said. “You missed it.”
Reggie pulled his hand away. “What did it feel like?”
Christina smoothed down her top. It felt like she had a bad case of gas. “It felt like . . .I can’t describe it. It felt like something moving inside me.”
“Next time, tell me as soon as it starts.”
She put her hands on Reggie’s face. “You’re disappointed, aren’t you?”
He placed a hand atop hers, but didn’t say anything.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked.
He looked at her. “Are you going to marry me, Christina?”
“That’s not the right answer for either of us, Reggie.”
“It is. I already love this baby and he’s not even born yet. And you know I love you. I’d be a great father and a great husband.”
“But I don’t love you,” she whispered.
“I think you do,” Reggie responded. “You can’t tell me that you don’t feel more for me now than you did a few months ago.”
Christina knew her feelings for Reggie had intensified. He had been there when she’d needed him. That meant a lot. But. There was always a but. Jackson. He was never out of her thoughts. How could she marry someone else when she was carrying Jackson’s child? Their child. “You’re right. I do feel more for you now, but how do you know that it’s love?”
“It’s a start.” He leaned in closer to her. “I can help you forget him, if you let me.”
She wondered if he knew how often she thought about Jackson. She pulled her hands away and looked at her stomach. “How could you do that? The baby is his. I can never forget him.”
“Maybe you don’t want to forget him.”
The accusation in his voice surprised her. “What does that mean?”
“You have to start living your life, Christina. If you want Jackson, you should go to him. If you don’t want him, you’ve got to stop pining for him. It’s not helping you. And it’s not helping the baby.”
Christina had said as much to herself. “I’m not going to tell him.”
“Then you’ve got to start thinking about this baby and what you want. The baby needs a father.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I can provide everything this baby needs.”
“I know you’re more than able to provide financially for you and the baby. You even have enough love to give, but that’s not enough for you.”
She had to hand it to him, he knew her well. “I don’t know. That sounds like all the bases have been covered. What more could I want?”
“You want the little white house with the picket fence. You want a traditional family.”
“You know a lot about what I want. What do you want?”
“I want what you want. I want what my mom and dad have.”
Christina massaged her stomach. “Sometimes I think I’m trying to make up for my childhood. I want to give my baby what I didn’t have, and that’s a father.”
“I can be that father.”
She stood then. “You don’t understand, Reggie. I want it all. I want passion. I want fireworks.”
Reggie stood next to her. “What about commitment? What about being there? Don’t they count?”
“Why do you want to marry a woman who keeps telling you she doesn’t love you?”
“That’s an easy one. As I said before, I think you do love me. We have different definitions of love. If you can stop fantasizing about Jackson long enough, you’ll see that we have more than enough to build a life together. Can you do that? Can you stop the fantasies?”
***
The following week Christian came to visit Christina at the nursery.
“You’ve been away from your work a long time,” Christina said to him. “If you’re away any longer, you may lose all your clients.”
Christian leaned against the counter and watched Christina sort the day’s mail. “I doubt that. I haven’t taken a real vacation in the last twenty-five years. This time has been good for me. It’s been more than worth whatever it may cost me in clients.”
Christina saw the sincerity in his eyes. “Do you still love her?”
“I’ve loved her forever,” Christian said, the love evident in his eyes. “That’s why I’ve never married. Louise was my first and only love.”
“If you loved her, really loved her, you could have come back for her.”
Christian had wondered the same thing over the years. Had he been a coward? “The world was a lot different then. Louise and I knew our chances were slim. The only way it would work was with one hundred and fifty percent from both of us. When I got her letter, I knew it was over. I couldn’t fight her, my parents, her parents, and God. It was best to leave it alone.”
“So what’s going to happen now?” Christina asked.
&n
bsp; “I’m going to spend as much time as possible getting to know my two girls.”
“Your two girls?”
“Yes, you and your mother. I know it’s too late for me to be a father to you, Christina. Louise has raised you well. You’re a beautiful woman and you don’t need me. Not as a father. I would like to be your friend, though. Do you think that’s possible?”
Christina wasn’t so sure she didn’t need a father. She looked up at him with hope in her eyes. “I don’t know how to go about being your daughter, either, Christian. I think friends may be a pretty good place to start.”
***
Jackson saw them through the front window. His first thought was that this was the man Christina was going to marry. He couldn’t hear them, but he recognized the look in the old man’s eyes. It was love, pure and simple. Christina’s eyes showed a deep caring. Jackson shook his head. An old white guy. Who would have thought it? What could she possibly see in this guy? he wondered. Well, he was going to put a stop to this right now.
The chimes sounded when he entered. They both turned to look at him. The man’s eyes were clear. Christina’s registered astonishment and something else he couldn’t quite place. Probably guilt, he reasoned.
“Surprised to see me, Christina?” Jackson asked. “I really don’t know why.” He looked at Christian, then he allowed himself a long look at Christina’s extended belly. It hit him that she was carrying his child. That belly carried the result of their love. He wanted to reach out and touch it. He looked back up into Christina’s eyes. “You’re carrying my baby.” He looked again at Christian. “You did know it was mine, didn’t you?’ He extended his hand. “I’m Jackson Duncan. Who are you?”
Before Christian could answer, Christina asked, “What are you doing here, Jackson?”
“Where else would I be darling?” His words dripped with sugar. “You’re here, the baby’s here. It’s only natural that I’d want to be with my family.”
“Your family? What are you talking about?”
He looked directly into her eyes, daring her to challenge him. “The three of us. You, the baby, and me. We’re a family. I figure we’d better have the wedding pretty soon, though.” He nudged Christian. “The preacher ought to beat the stork, if you know what I mean.”
Christina stood staring at him. “Have you gone crazy? How dare you come walking in here, talking about a family? How dare you make any claim to me or my baby? You can leave now.”
Jackson controlled his anger. He was going to play this scene his way. “I know you’re upset it’s taken me so long to get here, sweetheart, but I’m here now and we’ll never be apart again.”
“Uggg . . .” was all Christina could say. She looked at Jackson, then at Christian, then stormed out to the office in back of the nursery.
Jackson watched her waddle away. He had definitely ruffled her feathers. He glanced at the other man, who also watched her. Jackson took this opportunity to study the man. He didn’t appear too upset by the things Jackson had said and he still had that dumb love look on his face. “I’ll ask again,” Jackson said. “Who are you and what are you doing here with Christina?”
Christian smiled as he answered. “I’m Christian Van Dame, Christina’s father.”
Jackson couldn’t believe his ears. “Christina’s father?"
“Who else would I be?”
Jackson spoke before thinking. “I thought you were the man she planned to marry.”
Christian shrugged, but kept smiling. “And I thought you said she was going to marry you.”
“I know what I said. If you’re not the man she’s planning to marry, who is?”
“You’ll have to ask her that.”
Jackson wondered what the guy was smiling about. “You’re her father?”
Christian nodded. “That I am.”
“I thought her father was dead.”
“As you can see, I’m very much alive.”
“How can you be her father?” Jackson asked. The man was white, after all.
“Young man, if you don’t know the answer to that, you’re in much more trouble than I think you’re in.” Christian inclined his head toward the back room.
“She didn’t look too happy to see me, did she?” Jackson asked.
Christian shook his head slowly. “Happy is not the word I’d use.”
“Maybe I should go back there and talk to her?”
Grabbing Jackson’s arm as he turned to go after Christina, Christian asked, “Want some advice?”
“Given the way this has started, I need all the help I can get. What’s your advice?”
“Don’t go in there now. She was shocked to see you. Give her some time to get her feelings together. She, her mother, and I are having dinner tonight. Why don’t you join us? I know Louise would love to meet you.”
Jackson wondered at the man’s helpfulness. “Tonight? I have to wait until tonight?”
“That’s best. You could probably use the time to do some adjusting of your own. You won’t be able to browbeat her into doing what you want. You need to come up with another strategy.”
Jackson didn’t like having his style critiqued. “Why are you being so helpful?”
“She’s my daughter. I want her to be happy, and she has to reconcile her feelings for you if she’s going to be happy.”
Jackson nodded. Maybe this guy would turn out to be an ally, he thought. “Are you going to tell me about this guy who wants to marry her?”
Christian shook his head. “I can’t do that, son. That’s between you and her.”
Jackson looked closely at Christian. “Are you sure you’re her father?”
Christian laughed.
***
Christina heard the chimes again. She hoped Jackson was leaving. She tensed up when she heard the office door open.
“He’s gone, Christina,” Christian said. “You can come out now.”
“You make it sound like I’m hiding. I’m working.”
Christian walked all the way into the room. “What are you working on? That book in front of you is upside down.”
Christina looked up at Christian. “Okay. I was hiding. What did he say before he left?”
Christian shrugged. “Nothing much.”
“Oh . . .”
“I invited him to dinner with us tonight.”
Christina tried to jump out of her seat, but her stomach was a hindrance. She eased herself up instead. “You what?”
“I invited him to dinner with us tonight.”
“You had no right to do that!”
“I’m sure Louise wants to meet him.”
“Then the three of you can go to dinner. I’ll stay home.”
“If that’s what you want.”
Christina had expected Christian to offer to withdraw Jackson’s invitation. “You don’t want me to come? I thought this was a family dinner.”
“You can’t keep running from the man, Christina.”
“Why can’t I?”
“Because it’s his baby.”
“It always comes back to that, doesn’t it?”
Christian nodded. “As it should.”
Christina wondered if Christian was talking from his experience with Louise. “It would have been so much easier if he’d stayed away.”
“You really think so?”
Christina sighed. “Not really.”
“Do you still love him?”
“I don’t know how I feel. This morning I was seriously considering Reggie’s proposal. Now Jackson’s here. It complicates things.”
“You were really thinking about marrying Reggie?”
Christina sat down again. “Not really. I don’t love him that way.”
“Does Reggie know how you feel?”
She nodded. “I’ve told him more than once.”
“And he still wants to marry you? He must love you a lot.”
“I’ve told
him it’s crazy, but he won’t listen. He’s turned into a great friend, but it’ll never be more than that. I know that now for sure.”
“Because of Jackson?”
Christina covered her face with her hands. “I still love him. I never stopped. I knew it from the moment he walked into the nursery. I guess I always knew it.”
“Then why are you fighting it so hard? Being in love should make you happy.”
She dropped her hands from her face. “Only if the person you’re in love with is in love with you.”
“And you don’t think Jackson is in love with you?”
How she wished it were true. “He took his own good time getting here, didn’t he?”
“You can’t very well hold that against him. You didn’t tell him about the baby. How did he know you were here?”
Her first thought was Liza or Robert. Most likely Robert. Maybe Angela. But she didn’t like to think of Angela and Jackson together. “I don’t know. My guess would be that friends in Atlanta told him.”
“From his display of ownership when he walked in here, my guess is he loves you, too.”
Christina wished Christian was right, but she couldn’t bet on it. “There’s a lot you don’t know about Jackson and me. It’s a lot more complicated than that.”
“Do you want to talk about it? I’m a good listener. That’s what friends are for.”
Christina really didn’t want to talk now, but there was something Christian could do for her. “Could you hold me for a while? I could use a good cry about now.”
Christian walked over and for the first time in his life, he pulled his daughter into his arms. It felt good. It felt right.
Christina’s tears started immediately. She cried for herself and Jackson, for her and her father, and for her mother and her father. She cried for all the times as a child when she had needed her daddy to hold her. She cried until she could cry no more.
Twenty-Five
Jackson broke the silence. “It was good of your parents to give us this time alone.”
They could have been a little less obvious about it, Christina thought. Louise practically fawned all over Jackson throughout dinner. Then Christian’s bright idea was for him and Louise to go for a walk. “Maybe they didn’t do it for us. Maybe they wanted to be alone.”
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