He nodded. “The Lurker threat is ongoing, and I am the second strongest vampire in your kingdom.” The strongest was Varick.
“It isn’t a verdict I can rescind,” I said softly, focusing on the fibers of my headache so that I could unravel them with magic and do away with the pain.
“You are the Queen, and your word is final.”
I shook my head. “I may be the Queen, but where you’re concerned, I can’t be impartial. Therefore, I must rely on my panel of advisors. Your case was voted on and I can’t and won’t reverse that order.” I took a deep breath. “You’ve been banished,” I said again.
“You do not support this decision,” he said softly.
I glanced up at him, surprised. Sometimes he was just so damned intuitive. “Why do you say that? I’m the Queen; obviously, I support it.”
But he shook his head, a small smile beautifying his lips. He was handsome—just as he always had been. “No, you do not.” And then he was silent for a second or two. “I can tell by your delivery.”
“My delivery?” I repeated.
He nodded and appeared amused. “Yes, you said ‘you’ve been banished’ as if it were outside your control. Had it been solely your decision, you would have said, ‘I am banishing you.’ ”
Sinjin had been around too long for me to try and pull any fast ones on him. It was futile to argue with him when he was right—I’d just dig myself into a deeper hole. “Well, that isn’t to say I’m not angry and upset with you,” I managed, wanting him to understand that while I might not support his exile, I was still angry and hurt by his actions.
He nodded. “I only ever acted to protect you, my love.”
I swallowed hard at the mention of “love.” But I ignored it. “You are much more enigmatic than that, Sinjin,” I said, and shook my head with a small laugh, as if to tell him I wasn’t dumb enough to swallow his words hook, line, and sinker. “I know you well enough to know that there’s never just one motive for you.”
He smiled, no doubt liking my comment. He seemed to enjoy being unpredictable and complex. “Perhaps.”
I took a deep breath, feeling light-headed and dizzy—like I hadn’t eaten anything in days and had just run a marathon. “There will be a … a ceremony,” I started, wanting to warn him. This was the part I liked least, but according to Rand and Mercedes, it was Underworld protocol.
Sinjin merely nodded. “Yes, of course.” Then he eyed me and shook his head with a small smile. “Do not imagine I am anxious about the silly thing.”
I glanced up at him, surprised. I had figured it would bother him. I mean, it would have bothered me. It did bother me, and I wasn’t even the one being banished. “You’re not?”
He chuckled. “It means nothing to me … just pomp and circumstance.”
I nodded and then remembered the rest of his verdict, wanting to prepare him. If I was in his shoes, I wouldn’t want any surprises. “After the ceremony ends, you will need to pack your things and vacate Kinloch Kirk within the hour.”
“That will be quite simple—I have no need of anything from this room,” he said, and glanced around with apparent languor before his eyes settled on me again and he smiled. “Save for one.”
Not wanting to touch that statement with a ten-foot pole, I changed the subject. “You, uh, you aren’t allowed back here ever again, Sinjin.” I felt something inside me break as the words fell off my tongue.
“I understand the terms of my banishment,” he said.
I nodded and stood up, feeling like I was going to implode. I started for the door, but realizing that this was the last time I would ever see him alone, I turned back to face him. I just wanted to imprint his male beauty in my memory, wanted to be able to recall his gently curving smile, the intelligence in his striking gaze, the splendor that was Sinjin Sinclair. Then I looked away.
“When someone dies,” Sinjin started, and I glanced up at him in surprise, “they say the friends and family of the deceased are able to recall his features, his mannerisms, and his voice for one year. Beyond a year, the memories become more and more obscure.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
“Remember me well,” he said, a small laugh accompanying the macabre sentiment.
“I’m hardly sending you to your death,” I said, even though I doubted the truth in my own words. Who knew what awaited him out there?
Sinjin won’t die! I promised myself. Sinjin can’t die! I mean, he’d been alive for six hundred years, so he could easily survive for another six hundred … right?
“Very true,” he said simply and shrugged.
“I’m … I’m sorry, Sinjin.”
“One thing I would like to make quite clear,” he added, wanting to have the last word. And I suddenly hoped he would belittle me, tell me he never cared a damn about me and, yes, had been acting out of selfishness all along. It would have made my decision that much easier.
“Yes?”
He took a few steps toward me, and I nearly suffocated on his clean scent. I tried not to inhale. “I care more for you than I have cared for anyone … ever.”
I closed my eyes against the tears threatening to break through and shook my head. “No, Sinjin,” I started, then opened them, a sudden anger burning me from the inside out. “It’s too late for this. Grant me enough respect not to play with my emotions anymore.”
He reached out and grasped my shoulder. I reeled back at his icy touch, but it wasn’t the cold that warded me away—it was the way my heart fluttered when he touched me.
“You can banish me to the ends of the world, poppet, but you will never banish my feelings for you. You cannot deny me my own emotions.”
“Sinjin—” I started, but he shook his head, indicating that he wasn’t finished.
“And for that matter, your bloody panel can strip me of my position, banish me from Kinloch, but I will always remain dedicated to your protection, damn what anyone else says or thinks.”
I refused to look at him. “Sinjin, you can’t … your job here is done.”
He grasped my chin and tilted it, forcing my gaze upward, forcing me to take in his beautiful blue eyes. “As long as the Lurker threat continues, you are in danger.” He took a breath. “You are as aware of that as I am, poppet.”
“Klaasje and Saxon—” I started, trying to reassure myself that the Lurkers weren’t as much of a threat to my safety as Sinjin imagined they were.
He shook his head. “You know you are safest with me.”
“Sinjin …” I said his name and felt the rest of the sentence fall right off my tongue. I wasn’t even sure what I’d been about to say. He stayed silent, just smiling at me. But his smile spoke volumes—it said that this was by no means the end, that he wasn’t finished with me.
“I will see you at the ceremony,” I finally managed when it seemed like he was done with talking. I stepped away from him, but he just stepped closer to me again. “Take care of yourself, Sinjin,” I said as I started to turn around and palmed the doorknob.
His cold breath fanning across the back of my neck caused my own breath to catch in my throat.
“I know I never said the words you wanted to hear,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes and shook my head, refusing to allow him to bring this up now. “Sinjin, it’s way too little and way too late.”
Before I could take another breath, he whirled me around so I was facing him, his hands on my upper arms. I started to pull away but he was resolute, his eyes boring into mine. “I care for you more than I care for myself.”
I shook my head. “No, Sinjin, I don’t want to hear this.” And that was the truth. I didn’t want to hear it because I knew it could do no good. I was in love with Rand, just as I always had been, and while there was once a time when I’d imagined carving out a life with Sinjin, that time was long gone.
“You will hear it, dammit!” he railed back, and his urgency surprised me as much as the heightened tone of
his voice.
“I came here to say goodbye,” I started, feeling myself begin to spiral out of control. This wasn’t what I’d been expecting—this wasn’t what I’d come here for—and now I needed to escape.
“Damn saying goodbye to me, poppet,” he spat back and shook his head, an odd smile curving the ends of his lips. “You came here because you couldn’t keep away from me,” he insisted. “You came here because you still feel the same way for me that I feel for you.”
“Stop it!” I seethed at him, feeling tears welling in my eyes.
“You love me, Jolie, just as much as you always did, and I …”
I narrowed my eyes, suddenly hanging on his words. And although I knew this conversation was absolutely pointless, somehow I couldn’t let go of the fact that he had been about to say something … something I had so longed to hear … well, that is before Rand and Mathilda returned my memories to me. “You what?” I demanded, surprised by my need to hear him utter the words.
But Sinjin had already dropped his gaze to the floor, as if any boldness he’d previously experienced had withered and died.
“You what?” I demanded again.
But he dropped my arms and stepped away, shaking his head as he did so. The tears that had been threatening me only seconds earlier abruptly receded, replaced by anger. Why I was angry, I didn’t really know.
“It’s just as well,” I said in a soft but disappointed voice. I pulled away and opened the door, disappearing into the sanctuary of the dark hallway.
The ceremony was held a mere two hours later. My panel and I were in attendance in the Green Room of Kinloch Kirk, so named because the entire room, with its amphitheater-style seating, was painted a sage green. It was the same room where only a few months earlier Sinjin had helped me defeat my nerves before I gave my first speech as Queen.
But of course I firmly pushed all kind thoughts about Sinjin to the deepest recesses of my mind, knowing they would only spawn useless feelings of guilt. As I glanced around the room, I was quiet, depressed. I watched Odran and Trent make small talk as they sat in the first row, four rows of unoccupied seats behind them. Meanwhile, in a corner, Mercedes struggled with her “projection charm” to ensure it was working. She raised her hands a few times, closed her eyes and uttered a few words as lights flamed up from between her hands like a fireworks show. The projection charm was basically like a magical video camera. The ceremony that was about to start would be broadcast to the entire Underworld community. The witches and fae would need to go into a visionary trance and Mercedes’ charm would act like a film reel against the backdrop of their minds. Those less magically inclined, like the vampires and werewolves, could tune in on their television sets. They just had to turn on the channel that offered the most static, and Mercedes’ magic would do the rest, broadcasting itself like a television show. Or at least that’s how Mercedes had described it in her announcement.
The fact that Sinjin’s disgrace was going to be aired like the Rose Parade made me sick to my stomach. In some ways the Underworld reminded me of medieval times—some of our customs were just as outdated.
“I know this must be difficult for you,” Rand said as he took the seat beside mine.
I glanced up at him, half expecting him to be jovial since he was about to witness the banishment of someone he had always disliked … intensely. But instead his expression was grim and I could feel his gloomy mood.
“It isn’t easy,” I said with a frown.
He nodded. “Well, for whatever it’s worth, I think you did the right thing.”
“This wasn’t my idea,” I reminded him, second-guessing it even now. The thought of what was about to happen to Sinjin was making me feel physically ill.
“I wasn’t referring to Sinjin’s punishment. I was referring to the fact that you allowed your panel to vote, and you carried out their decision.” He smiled down at me and appeared to be proud. “You are every inch the Queen you wanted to be.”
I nodded, trying to find comfort in his words. But I couldn’t. I mean, yes, I was proud of myself for choosing to support a democratic vote, but at the same time I was uneasy because I didn’t support the verdict. I just had to wonder what was worse—ruling with an iron fist and feeling justified in my decisions, or … this?
I watched my fingers drum against my knee, and then glanced around the room nervously, wondering when the guards would escort Sinjin in and, more so, when this whole ordeal would be over. My attention turned to Klaasje, who was sitting beside Varick. The older vampire was prattling on about something, but I could tell she wasn’t listening. She was pale and her normally bright, wide eyes were even wider, scared. She hated every second of this as much as I did—hated the fact that her friend was about to be banished and then God only knew what would happen to him.
“It’s still not a decision that leaves me with the warm fuzzies,” I said, and sighed.
Rand nodded but was spared further comment when the double doors opened and two burly werewolf guards walked inside, Sinjin between them. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, considering that Sinjin was for all intents and purposes a prisoner, but he certainly wasn’t dressed like one. Now, in his midnight-colored suit, he looked like he was heading to a black-tie event. There wasn’t a chain or a handcuff to be seen. He strolled inside casually, pausing when he reached the center of the room. The guards took their positions on either side of the doors and stood there, wearing solemn frowns.
“The party can begin,” Sinjin said with a smile as he scanned the room, his smile broadening when his attention settled on me. I felt my stomach drop.
“Sinjin Sinclair,” Mercedes started as she approached him. She was dressed in a long flowing purple velvet cape with a hood over her head. She looked like she was trying to impersonate a monk.
Sinjin had been right when he’d described this as nothing more than pomp and circumstance. It seemed especially heavy on the pomp.
“Mercedes Berg, the prophetess,” Sinjin said with that devil’s smile, a smile that said he wasn’t taking any of this seriously, that it was all just a big game to him—like, well, most things in his life.
“You might do well to wipe that grin off your mouth, as you have been denied the privilege of protecting your Queen from this day forward,” Varick called out from his seat on the opposite side of the room.
Sinjin glanced at him and smirked. “Ah, my dear comrade Varick, why should I not smile when I am so enjoying myself?”
Mercedes cleared her throat. “I do not want to make this task long or arduous,” she said firmly.
“We have that in common,” Sinjin responded, dropping the smile as he faced her again.
“Then I will not delay,” she finished, and turned toward me. “My Queen, before you stands your former chief protector, do you approve of his removal from this office?”
I swallowed hard. “Yes.”
She faced Sinjin again. “As our Queen has vested within me the power to free you from your responsibilities as her chief protector, you are hereby stripped of that office.”
Sinjin glanced at me but said nothing, merely nodded in an almost humble sort of way. Then he bowed in a practiced form and turned to face Mercedes again, expectant. Mercedes simply sat down in the seat beside me as Odran stood up and lumbered toward Sinjin.
“As ah representative ah the Queen’s panel, I declare that Sinjin Sinclair, Master Vampire, is ta be stripped ah ’is title ah Master Vampire and banished froom the Queen’s kingdoom … forever.”
Sinjin nodded again and said nothing apparently, just listening to Odran’s words. Once the King of the Fae lumbered back to his seat, Sinjin must have recognized the floor was his own. He cocked a brow and narrowed his gaze on me, until it seemed as though no one else in the room even existed.
“I recognize and abide by my Queen’s will,” he began. “I have only ever wanted to protect her, to ensure her longevity and happiness.”
Rand grumbled something. I ignored him.
“My Queen, these are uncertain times in which we are living,” Sinjin continued, as if Rand’s reaction were of no consequence to him. “And it would serve you well to rethink my banishment.”
“The decision is made,” Rand said furtively. “Endure your punishment like a gentleman, Sinclair.”
Sinjin faced him then and his eyes narrowed. “The Queen will require all the protection available to her. Banishing me could be cutting off her nose to spite her face.”
Rand stood up and shook his head. “Don’t think you’re going to worm your way out of this one, Sinjin. You’ve been decreed a public enemy, and as such, you will be banished.”
Sinjin said nothing more to Rand, but he turned back toward me. “Poppet, if ever you should need me, you have only to ask and I will come running.”
Of course, I replayed the conversation with Sinjin repeatedly in my head—I mean, how could I not? Questions poured through my brain and it was all I could do to focus on one at a time. Was what Sinjin said true? Was banishing him cutting off my nose to spite my face? I glanced outside the window at the darkness of the Scottish sky, thankful that I was in the solitude of my bedroom. I needed some alone time in order to contemplate the enigma that was Sinjin. As Queen, it seemed I never had any time to myself, so these few moments were precious.
Sitting at my bedside vanity, I stared at myself as if my blue eyes might hold an answer—as if they could tell me whether Sinjin truly cared about me. But of course, my vacuous expression was reflected back at me. I couldn’t help but notice that my eyes were still wide with surprise, even though the ceremony was long since over.
I couldn’t keep the questions and thoughts from rampaging through my mind, couldn’t stop wondering if Sinjin had been telling me the truth earlier, when I’d first told him of his banishment. Maybe deep down in that icy cave of his heart, he was still truly human and capable of caring about someone else. Maybe Sinjin Sinclair could feel love?
Who are you kidding? That voice in my head piped up. Sinjin is a master of artifice, Jolie. You of all people should know that by now!
Something Witchy This Way Comes: A Jolie Wilkins Novel Page 5