by Bella J
I burst out laughing, and Neon joined in. It felt good to laugh for a change, especially after what just happened between me and Granite. I didn’t regret it, though. It felt good being with him. A part of me just wished it could have been under different circumstances. But I guessed it made sense that being with Granite would be…unconventional.
“Okay,” Neon slapped her hands on her knees, “you need a shower. You’ll feel better after. But first, you need to eat.”
I glanced at the bowl of cereal. “Is it just me, or is Granite obsessed with me eating?”
“Oh, you don’t know?” Her eyes widened in surprise.
“Know what?”
“About Dutch’s sister?”
“Dutch is the club’s enforcer, right?”
“Right. And also Granite’s best friend.” She reached for the bowl of cereal and shoved it in my hand. “You eat, I’ll talk.”
Looking at the cereal, my stomach turned. “I really—”
“Okay, fine.” She took the bowl from me. “Maybe when you hear the story, you’ll actually want to eat.”
After placing the bowl on the table again, she scooted up on the mattress and crossed her legs, making herself comfortable. “So, no one actually told me this story. I just kind of put it all together with the bits and pieces I caught in different conversations I’ve overhead.” Neon seemed like the typical girl ready to share a juicy gossip story. In that moment, it kind of made her real, more relatable, knowing she wasn’t just this hardcore woman with steel in her veins and tattoos on her skin.
“Apparently, Dutch’s sister—Kate, I think her name was—had an eating disorder. Like you.” The nonchalant way she said it made it seem like it wasn’t that big of a deal to her. “So, Granite’s and Dutch’s fathers were best friends, and they started the American Street Kings. Obviously, this meant the kids grew up together.”
Absentmindedly, I reached for the juice and took a sip, listening intently to her every word.
“From what I could gather, Granite carried a torch for Kate.”
I swallowed the juice. “You mean, he was in love with her.”
“Yup. And if my instincts are right, so was Onyx.”
“Both of them?”
“I think so.”
Jealousy stung like tiny needle pricks into my skin. “And where is Kate now?”
“Oh, she’s dead.”
My heart stopped, and I choked on a sip of juice. “What? How?”
“Um, isn’t it obvious? She had an eating disorder. That’s what happens when you don’t eat. You die.”
My body went cold, yet my skin was damp while my heart knocked on my ribs. “Is that…is that why he’s obsessed with me eating?”
“Makes sense, doesn’t it?”
The wheels inside my head turned. Granite loved another girl with an eating disorder. Was that just coincidence? Was his obsession with me based on that—on the girl he loved who died in the end?
Neon leaned forward to grab my attention. “Swan Lake, don’t worry your pretty little head about it. She’s dead. You’re here now, and Granite clearly staked his claim. You’re his now. And believe me, these guys are like fucking dogs. If they could piss on you to mark you, they would.”
I smiled, but I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. “I don’t think I belong here, Neon.”
She frowned. “Why? Because you wear ballet slippers? We’re all just people here, Swan Lake. Each carrying their own bag of shit. Don’t stereotype. You belong where you want to be.” Her heart-shaped lips painted with purple lipstick smiled warmly at me. “Besides, it’s going to be fun having you around. I’ve always hoped one of these assholes could find an old lady I actually like. Trick and Tanit ain’t exactly my type of girls.”
“Who are Trick and Tanit?”
She shrugged. “One’s a club widow, and the other a club slut. That’s all you need to know.”
Glancing down at the glass in my hand, I asked softly, “Was Kate a part of the club?”
“No. I think she was still young when she died. Not sure how old, though.”
“Sixteen.” Neon and I looked at Onyx standing by the door. “Kate was sixteen when she died.” The woeful look on his face was intense, and almost painful to witness. His sky-blue eyes had turned gray and cold, like the memory hardened him. Even Neon’s stubborn ass picked up on it, and she seemed pretty uncomfortable now that Onyx joined in on our conversation.
Onyx stepped inside. “Neon, would you give Alyx and me a few minutes alone?”
Neon crossed her arms. “I’m thinking that’s not a question, but a—”
“Get the fuck out, would you?”
“Okay. Catch you later, Swan Lake.”
Before she could dart out of the room, I called, “Neon.”
“Yes?”
I clutched the sheet tighter. “Clothes. Please.”
She winked. “Sure thing.”
When she walked out, she left the door open, and I was silently grateful. With Onyx in the room, I was hyperaware of how fucking naked I was underneath the sheet, making me more nervous in his presence.
Cold eyes met mine. “Kate was sixteen when she died. She had anorexia.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“The day she died, there was barely anything left of her. I’m sure I could have carried her casket alone if I wanted to.”
“Onyx—”
“My brother knew she was sick.” The sound of contempt in his voice was deafening, and it caused me to clutch the sheet even tighter.
“Granite knew she had a problem but did nothing to help her, claiming he was just honoring a promise he made her.”
I started wrapping the sheet around me, wanting to cover every inch of skin. The atmosphere was thick and toxic, and I hated the way he looked at me as he spoke—as if he was trying to make me feel guilty over the death of a girl I didn’t even know.
Crossing his arms, he leaned against the doorframe. “He knew she had stopped eating but didn’t tell anyone because she asked him not to.” He bit out the words like they were coated in venom, corrupted by hate. “He was so selfishly in love with her, he would have done anything to keep her to himself. So, he kept his fucking mouth shut about her eating disorder, not telling a soul.”
I got off the bed, making sure I was covered. “Onyx, I’m not comfortable—”
“That’s why you’re here, Alyx. That’s why my brother has this twisted fucking obsession with you.” He raised his voice, anger dripping from his mouth. “He thinks helping you will ease his own fucking regret. He thinks it will make him feel less responsible for Kate’s death.”
The fury in his eyes and the hard lines on his face were terrifying. Being alone with him while he acted this way scared me. He straightened as he looked down at the sheet around me. “Motherfucker.” He roughed his hands through his hair, and I glanced down, seeing the blood he noticed on the sheet. “So my brother ruined you as well.”
“Onyx, please. You’re scaring me.”
“Funny. I’m not the brother you should be scared of, Alyx.”
“Onyx—”
I flinched and yelped when he slammed the door shut behind him. “You’re not special to him, Alyx. The only reason he wants you is because the girl he really wanted is dead, and you seem like a very close replica of her.”
“Stop.”
He slanted his head to the side. “Why? Does it hurt, the truth?” Slowly, he sauntered toward me, his gaze fearless and scornful. “I knew when we saw your mother forcing her finger down your throat it would fuck with his head.”
Instantly, my blood ran cold, and I couldn’t feel my legs. “What did you say?”
A malicious grin spread on his face. “We were on one of our midnight runs that night, visiting your father. You drove up in the driveway, and your mom was waiting for you by the door.”
Bile started to churn, and with every word he spoke, it moved an inch up my throat.
“We saw it, Alyx. We sa
w it all.”
My hand reached up to my throat as if I could stop the bile from erupting. My pulse was racing, my insides coiled tight like it had been wrapped with barbed wire. I was pretty sure a knife in the gut would feel better than this.
“Your mom forced her finger down your throat, and you vomited right there on the fucking porch.”
“Oh, God.” I turned around to face the wall, leaning with my head against the cold concrete.
“That’s the night Granite decided he would find a way to take you away from that house, away from your psycho mother.”
I remembered that night like it was yesterday. It wasn’t the first time my mom had forced me to throw up. But that night was different. I had never seen my mom as angry as I did that night, all because I decided to skip one class. One goddamn ballet class, and all hell broke loose. That night, three slices of pizza ended up on our front porch, and I could taste the blood as her nails scratched the back of my throat. But the one thing that made that night different than all the other times she made me sick—literally—my dad was standing inside the house, watching without saying a single word. My dad did nothing to stop her, and just stared at me with sadness in his eyes. It was the worst night of my life, witnessing how my dad’s love for my mom overshadowed his love for his own daughter.
“So, you see, Alyx,” Onyx continued, “you’re not special to him. I tried to tell Kate this as well, but she wouldn’t listen. Hopefully, you will.”
“Stop, Onyx. Please.”
“He’s using you to ease his conscience.”
“I said stop.”
“Don’t make the same mistake Kate did, Alyx. My brother is not fucking worth it.”
“I said fucking stop!” My fist slammed against the concrete wall, excruciating pain radiating from my soul to every bone in my body.
“He will ruin—”
“You heard her, Onyx.” The sound of Neon’s voice was like liquid relief that flowed over me. “Leave,” she continued.
“I’m not done talking to Alyx yet.”
“Yes, you are.” Her voice was firm, strong. “Don’t make me tell Granite what happened here.”
Finally, I managed to pull myself together, and I turned to face them. Neon’s glare was fixed on Onyx, and he glanced from her to me. “He’s going to kill you…just like he killed her.” Then he left.
With that warning hanging in the air like thick smoke about to smother me, I slipped down the wall and sat flat on my ass, burying my face in my hands. There were no tears. Just thoughts. Crazy thoughts that made absolutely no sense, and I didn’t know how to sort through it. I wiped my palms down my face, trying to take a few deep breaths.
“It seems our little Onyx boy is still jealous as fuck over big brother.” Neon walked over and placed a heap of clothes on the bed before sitting beside me, leaning her head against the wall. “Shake it off, Swan Lake. Around here, you can’t afford to walk around with doubts and shit that will keep you from thriving.”
“What if he’s right?”
Neon shrugged. “What would life be without a fuck-load of what-ifs? Unfortunately, we can’t always answer all the stupid fucking what-if questions. But we can choose to ignore them.”
I pulled my fingers through my hair. “I don’t want to be someone’s ticket toward redemption.”
“Well, the way I see it, you don’t really have a choice in the matter.”
Surprised, I glanced at her, and she gave me a warm smile. “The truth sucks. Deal with it. It’s harsh, but necessary.” It was amazing how Neon could be straight with her no-bullshit answers, yet she had a way of not making it sound depressing and hurtful.
Neon pushed herself up and extended a hand. “You can’t ask for a better protector than Granite. Be thankful you have him on your side, whether you’re a redemption card or not.”
I placed my hand in hers, and she helped me up off the floor.
Neon was right. No matter what Granite’s motivation was, I was here, and I didn’t have any choice in the matter. What was done was done. And after what happened between Granite and me, there was no going back.
Neon stepped closer and placed her palms on my cheeks. “I have a good feeling about you, Swan Lake. You’re strong. And that’s all you need around here. Strength.”
I smiled half-heartedly. “I hope you’re right.”
“Of course, I’m right.” She inched back. “Listen, I don’t have anything for you to wear. Granite said we’re leaving in an hour, so I’m going to rush to the nearest shop and see if I can find you something in the kiddies’ section.”
“Would you stop?”
She winked teasingly. “Hey, I intend to use every opportunity I can to make fun of your bony ass.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t doubt that for a second. Hey, where are we going?”
“Granite insisted that we take you to a safe house.”
“Why?”
“How the fuck should I know? I just live here, remember? There’s a shirt and pair of shorts for you, you know, in case anyone else decides to barge in here. Can’t leave you here wearing nothing but a sheet. I’ll be back soon.” Blowing a kiss my way, she closed the door as she left. Somehow, I felt like Neon and I might become friends. God knew, I was going to need a friend around here. And she hadn’t been anything but kind to me.
The bowl of cereal taunted me from across the room, and Onyx’s words played on repeat inside my head. Someone they both loved died from not eating. It all made sense now, why everyone was so fucking obsessed with me eating. But was that all I was to Granite? A cruel reminder of someone he lost, hoping he might be able to live down the regret he felt?
Better yet…why did it fucking matter to me what I was to him?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Granite
Something wasn’t right. I could smell it in the air as we stood outside the garage. Warning crawled all over my skin, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to go wrong. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it just didn’t feel right. The last time warning knocked on my skull like this was the night my dad died.
“Yo,” I turned to Ink, who was packing out the ammo, “Neon back yet?’
“No. Don’t think so.
“When did she leave?”
He glanced at his wristwatch. “About forty minutes ago.”
I looked over at the empty space where her motorcycle would stand. She didn’t ride a Harley like the rest of us. She had a pitch-black Ducati Monster. She called a Harley “the old fucker’s ride to hell.”
“Call her. See where she’s at.” I lit a cigarette. If it wasn’t for the run, I’d have a fucking beer right now.
Dutch stepped in next to me. “We should get the girl in the van.”
With a simple nod, I gave him instruction to go get Alyx. These wheels were rolling on the fucking hour, whether Neon was here or not.
As Dutch rushed off to get Alyx, Ink came back looking as pale as a fucking ghost, and I knew. I fucking knew this was why my motherfucking skin crawled with warning.
“What’s going on?”
He held the phone out to me, his eyes dark and doleful. “It’s Neon’s phone. One of the prospects found it outside the front door. Granite, Neon never goes anywhere without her phone.”
Just as I took the phone from him, the video caller rang. My gut twisted into a thousand tiny motherfucking knots.
Biting my lip, I slid my finger across the screen. And true as fuck, Slither’s ugly motherfucking face appeared.
“Hello, Granite.” His split tongue lapped over his lips. “It’s a fine day today, isn’t it?”
“What the fuck are you doing, Slither?”
“Just making conversation. I have to say, your huge-ass face looks tiny on this screen. Much less…intimidating.”
A heaviness crashed down on my chest, my body wracked with chills. “Don’t fuck with me. Where is Neon?”
“Oh, she’s here. Hold on.” The screen ima
ge went vivid as he moved. “There she is.”
On the picture was Neon, gagged, naked, and hanging upside down from the motherfucking roof, blood dripping down her arms.
I stumbled back, the phone shaking in my hand. “I swear to fucking God, I will cut your dick off and shove it down your throat, you motherfucker!”
Slither laughed, full-on hysterical laughter that was meant to mock me, then turned the camera back on himself. “Now, now. No need for such violence. You knew when you started this shit it would become messy.”
“Let her go.”
“No.”
“Slither—”
“You think those two prospects you killed the other night were the only two pairs of eyes I had on you?”
Anger surged, and I grabbed the first thing I could find—a wrench—and threw it across the room, the clanging sound as it hit the wall resonating through the garage. “Don’t fuck with me, Slither. You let her fucking go, right now!”
He brought the camera closer to his face, eyes narrowed. “You chose to fuck with me the day you mind-fucked my newest prospects into thinking kidnapping the PC’s daughter was actually a good idea. Well done, by the way, getting my guys to do your fucking dirty work.”
I bit my tongue. Did he really think I was that stupid? The call was most likely being recorded, so there was not a chance in hell I’d fall in that trap by confessing.
“I told you, we don’t have the girl.” Clenching my jaw, I tried my fucking best to sound confident in my own lie, but the image of Neon hurt was fucking with my head.
“You see, Granite, I call bullshit. One of my scouts saw your blue-haired pixie shopping for clothes that would…well, fit a ballerina. Do you have a ballerina in your midst?”
This guy knew exactly which fucking buttons to push. “Motherfucker, how many times do I have to tell you we don’t have the fucking girl?”