Spencer turned to face Nurse Ratched, whose face was still twisted into a sadistic snarl. “My apologies,” he muttered and rushed out of Dutch’s room.
In a matter of minutes, Spencer found himself standing next to his car. The warm August sun broke across the sky, but its presence didn’t fill him with hope or joy. It served merely to remind him how dark his present had become.
He unlocked his car door and prepared to enter his vehicle, but as he stood there with the car door open, he saw Justin sprinting through the parking lot, barreling toward the hospital doors, no doubt anxious to reach Dutch’s bedside.
You should’ve killed him when you had the chance, his father’s voice said.
“A dead man can’t kill,” he told his father as his cold, lifeless hand turned the key in the ignition.
CHAPTER 10
2002
SPENCER had never been happier, more full of life than in the past two years with Justin. Their relationship grew serious rather quickly, which at first frightened the still tentative side of his personality. He preferred going slow, getting to know someone before deciding that love might be in the future. It was the way he’d handled all his previous relationships, dissecting every conversation or date in search of the character flaw that would ultimately cause the relationship to fail.
With Justin, none of that happened.
Justin wasn’t perfect; he was quick-tempered, stubborn, and probably the messiest man he’d ever met. He was obsessed with childish items like comics, cartoons, and video games, but those traits never once caused Spencer to question his decision to shed his protective armor and welcome this man with open arms.
Instead, Justin was a gift he cherished daily.
A few months after meeting at the Bonham, Justin asked Spencer to move in with him. Spencer said yes, without ever once weighing the pros and cons of such a move. Not only was he surprised by his speedy consent, but so was Alex, who was vocal in his disapproval.
Since they had been roommates and best friends for the past two years, Alex believed he had some say in the decision. He appealed to Spencer’s rational side, citing one reason after another for why the move was hasty or ill-conceived—they had only known each other a few months, a serious relationship might deter his dissertation progress, and, the point Alex believed to be the most persuasive, they were gay men, not lesbians.
Spencer couldn’t refute his first two arguments. He simply ignored the last one, which was a stereotypical observation of lesbian relationships. Without a successful rebuttal, Alex claimed the argument won and therefore believed the matter closed.
When Spencer packed up his things and moved out the following week, Alex watched in disbelief.
Based on his time with Justin, Spencer learned love wasn’t a logical argument that could be refuted or needed support by verifiable evidence. It simply existed, and one either chose to accept it or not.
Since accepting it, he’d never once regretted his decision to leap into the open air of a new relationship and leave the safety and security of his previous plane of existence.
Their love grew and adjusted, as all living organisms do, and their love was alive. They nurtured it together, adding or subtracting what it needed to maintain its health. And in their tender care, it grew to contain more than just them.
Justin’s family became a welcomed part of their life. Spencer had never known a family so loving and so accepting of each other’s faults. With them, he belonged in a way he never had in his own family, the people he actually shared a bloodline with. He finally understood the elation in other people’s voices when they talked about their families with such unwavering love. That was the way he felt about Justin’s family.
Their circle of friends also widened beyond Alex and Xavier, who started to feel left out and slowly withdrew from the overall picture. Tyler, a good friend of Justin’s, was fast becoming an indispensable part of their lives. Tyler’s partner Rene seemed like a good enough guy, but he remained aloof, like a German Shepherd trotting around the perimeter of the friendship, uncertain whether he wanted to join or attack.
They had other friends too, both gay and straight, Chris and Jill, Heather and Pat, Chuck and Don, and Teresa and Sam.
Overall, life was great socially as well as professionally.
Justin had been promoted to assistant principal, an accomplishment for a man in his late twenties, at one of the high schools within the San Antonio Independent School District. The district finally stood up and took notice of the great things Justin had accomplished not only in the classroom but also with the parents and the community.
After completing his dissertation and working as an adjunct instructor both online and at various local campuses, Spencer had been recently hired as an assistant professor of Spanish and French at St. Mary’s University.
With stable jobs, they had a bright future ahead of them. A future that now included being homeowners.
When they first saw the house in the Monte Vista area of San Antonio, which was a mile from downtown and in the heart of one of the largest historical districts in the city, they didn’t think they could afford it. The asking price was quite steep, especially for two young men early in their careers.
The house wasn’t much, but it had a lot of potential. Two bedrooms and one bath, a living room that was longer than it was wide, and a nice-sized dining room.
The kitchen excited Spencer the most and was the primary reason he fell in love with the house. As the cook in the relationship, a role he gladly assumed when he realized Justin’s culinary talents included throwing ground meat and a can of beans into a pot, he demanded a house with a kitchen large enough to make nice meals. Abundant cabinet space and an open concept were required.
This kitchen met his needs. It even had a sliding glass door out to the small, bricked patio in the backyard.
The master bedroom had enough space for the king-sized bed they wanted but didn’t have. Right now, Justin’s old full-sized bed from their apartment was where they slept. They were in no hurry to buy the bigger bed; they enjoyed being close enough to cuddle.
The master bedroom even had a sitting room off to the right separated by two pocket doors. Spencer envisioned changing the pocket doors to paneled French doors, but they would have to wait a few years to afford that renovation.
An enormous old-fashioned claw-foot tub took up the majority of the space in the bathroom. Justin hated it since he preferred to shower. Spencer convinced him that taking baths together would be romantic. With so much room to move around, there would be no limit to their bath-time fun. Justin quickly conceded, but only after getting him to promise a bathroom renovation with a shower as an add-on to their master suite.
The second bedroom was down the hall from the bathroom and the master bedroom. It was cozy, with a good-sized window looking out into the backyard.
The lawn was adequate, neither too big nor too small.
For the two of them, it was perfect.
They crunched the numbers and decided if they scrimped and saved, they could afford a good down payment to help lower the monthly mortgage.
A few months after finding the house, they had purchased it and were moving in.
And, today, family and friends were helping them settle in.
“Where do y’all want this?” Tyler asked, carrying a box with KITCHEN written along the side.
“How about the kitchen?” Spencer responded. When Tyler disappeared into the kitchen, he chuckled silently to himself. While Tyler was a sweet man, he had a penchant for overlooking the obvious.
“Can we start unpacking stuff?” Jill asked, sitting on the living room floor with four boxes surrounding her. Teresa and Heather each held a box, awaiting his approval before tearing open their contents.
“That would be great,” he told them while noticing two boxes in the living room with BATHROOM clearly marked on the side. He didn’t need to ask who’d placed the boxes there. In his haste to unload the U-Haul, Justin
simply deposited boxes helter-skelter instead of following the detailed plan Spencer had designed.
“I hope we find some good stuff in here,” Heather snickered to Teresa and Jill.
“Oh, yeah,” Teresa replied. “Like when we found Tyler’s naughty drawer.”
The three laughed in unison.
“All our naughty things are safely tucked in our suitcases,” Spencer told them while picking up the boxes clearly marked for the bathroom. “I know how nosy you three get.”
Teresa called him a spoilsport while Heather and Jill booed.
“Why are we booing?” Justin asked carrying a box labeled MASTER into the house.
“The girls are looking for our toys,” replied Spencer. He watched as Justin set the box down in the living room.
“Not in the boxes,” Justin told the girls, tapping his right index finger to the side of his head. “We’re far too clever for your shenanigans.”
“Justin Jimenez, I am just about at the end of my rope with you!” Spencer said, quoting Shirley MacLaine’s Ouiser Bourdreaux from Steel Magnolias.
“Well, then, why don’t you tie a noose and slip it ’round your head?” Justin replied, doing his best Tom Skerritt impersonation.
“Oh, God!” Chris said to Pat after walking into the house with two small boxes in his arms. “They’re doing Steel Magnolias again!”
“What bothers me more is that we know it’s from that damned movie!” replied Pat. “We need to do something manly to balance things out.”
Chris nodded in agreement. Boxes still in hand, both of them scrunched up their faces and farted. The girls screamed in disgust while Justin laughed.
Spencer waved their toxic gases away from him as best he could. “Justin, please do what everybody else is doing and place the boxes you bring inside the house into the appropriate designated room.”
“Yes, Dr. Harrison,” replied Justin.
Spencer swatted him on his ass in response.
“Do it again,” Justin said, sticking his behind out farther.
“Just go!” Spencer said, placing the two other misplaced boxes on top of the one Justin carried. Justin mumbled a complaint but then carted them to their appropriate locations.
A quick inspection of work detail told Spencer the move was progressing nicely. Justin, Tyler, Chris, and Pat were unloading the U-Haul, the girls were unpacking the living room, Chuck and Don were picking up lunch and beer, and Sam was in the backyard, keeping children entertained.
“Such a beautiful house,” a voice said from behind him brimmed with pride. Without looking, Spencer knew who had arrived.
“Elena!” he exclaimed, rushing over to give Justin’s mother a hug.
She returned the hug and kissed Spencer on the cheek. “I know you’ll both be happy here for many years.”
“Hello, Mrs. Jimenez,” each of their friends said, greeting her with a hug and a smile.
“A house full of good friends too,” she marveled. “My boys are truly blessed.”
Whenever Elena said my boys, Spencer beamed. Those two words meant the world to him. He not only felt loved and accepted but claimed as one of her children. It was an honor he always hoped he lived up to.
“Mama!” Justin exclaimed upon reentering the living room. They exchanged hugs and kisses. “Thanks for coming to help.”
“Where else would I be?” she asked, shrugging her shoulders and turning her palms up, something she did every time she asked a rhetorical question. The gesture always made him grin. “Now, put me to work. What do you want me to do?”
“Careful, Mom,” Justin said, putting his arm around Spencer. “Spence is quite the taskmaster. He’s been cracking the whip.”
“What you boys do when you’re alone is none of my business,” his mother deadpanned. Her comment caused the house to explode in laughter.
“Mother!” Justin exclaimed. His cheeks turned several shades of red. Justin was the only Latino Spencer knew who blushed like a white boy.
“Is Olga coming?” Spencer asked, swooping in and changing the conversation.
“Yes,” Elena responded, apparently annoyed. “That woman could drive the pope to murder with all her chatter. We better get lots accomplished before she gets here.”
Everyone laughed since they had all experienced Justin’s Aunt Olga. She was a very sweet woman, who loved to talk and who talked nonstop from the moment of arrival to the last second of departure. Even as she drove away, her lips moved. The conversation, which was really always more of a monologue, continued whether anyone was there to hear her or not.
To Olga, no subject was off-limits. Her hemorrhoids. Her husband’s missing testicle, removed due to cancer. Her irritable bowel, a family trait Justin had unfortunately inherited, and one she constantly discussed at every shared meal.
“Is Uncle Ricky coming?” Justin asked while helping Jill open a box marked VIDEOS.
Justin’s Uncle Ricky was a truck driver for H-E-B, the popular Texas grocery store chain. Often out of town making deliveries, he missed many family gatherings.
“No,” she answered. She now sat on a chair, brought to her by Chris, and worked on opening one of the boxes in the living room. “He’s driving to Corpus, Beeville, and Goliad today.”
“That’s too bad,” Spencer said. He picked up packing popcorn and started shoving the numerous pieces into a trash bag he’d left in the room for that specific purpose.
“Eh,” Justin’s mother responded with a shrug. “He needs the money. Plus, he’s lazy. He’d be more trouble here than anything else.”
“What about Gran and Gramp?” Justin asked. His grandparents typically didn’t miss a single event involving the family. While unpacking was a mundane task for most families, for Justin’s, it was a chance to get together.
“Your grandparents are coming,” Elena replied. “They’re picking up Snookums at the vet.”
“They’re bringing Snookums?” Justin exclaimed. “Why?”
“You know how much your grandfather loves that dog.”
Snookums was an overweight Chihuahua who weighed at least thirty pounds. Never before had Spencer seen such a typically lightweight dog grow to such massive proportions.
Justin’s grandfather fed the dog Church’s Fried Chicken on almost a daily basis, so Snookums rarely ate anything else. If presented with dog food, she turned her head and snuffed in disgust.
“He’s going to kill that dog,” Justin remarked.
“Don’t get me started,” Elena answered. “Let me tell you all about the time….”
The voices and the laughter faded as Spencer looked around the room. Every single face he saw loved him and accepted him for who he was, and the realization filled him with so much happiness it eclipsed the sadness lurking deep within.
He had invited his parents and his sister to the house, to help them unpack and to meet all his friends.
They weren’t coming. His parents had a previous engagement, and his sister was driving to Austin with her latest boyfriend. As always, his family’s lives rarely included him.
At first, the news saddened him. He’d felt shunned and abandoned. But now, sitting here with a house full of love from friends and his new family, Spencer could only smile. His life felt complete.
He’d never thought a life without his armor was possible. Justin’s love had shown him how wrong he was. It turned out love was sturdier than any armor he could fashion alone.
CHAPTER 11
2010
PEGASUS and his father, riding on the phoenix’s back, led Dutch back to the light, and when he awoke, someone was standing in the room with him and the nurse. The daze of pain and drugs prevented him from recognizing his visitor, who left the room far too quickly.
The man looked familiar, though, his identity kept clouded under the numbing fog of morphine. His right hand, though heavy, lifted off the hospital bed, reaching for the visitor who was no longer there.
“Welcome back to the land of the living, Mr. Kell
er.” The nurse’s voice sounded more disappointed than relieved at his conscious state. “But you must remain still. Your body needs all the rest it can get.”
Dutch opened his mouth, but no sound escaped. Scratchy and sore, his throat felt like he had gargled sand. Still, he willed himself to speak. When he once again tried, a coughing fit wracked his body, sending spasms of pain throughout his injured muscles and bones.
“I told you to relax,” the nurse scolded. She poured a glass of water from the container at his bedside. She placed a straw within the cup and held the cup under his chin so he could drink.
As he took in the water, his throat instantly felt refreshed. The grains of sand stuck within were washed away. “You were intubated,” she said, as if it was something he should have known.
“Thank you,” he told her in a gravelly voice. “It feels better already.”
“I can’t tell you how happy that makes me,” she replied with no hint of kindness to her voice.
Dutch wondered if the pain medication was dulling his perception. The nurse couldn’t be that much of an uncaring bitch. He'd fought his way back from an endless black ocean that threatened to drown him. He deserved a better welcome than the one Nurse Ratched provided.
Maybe she’s having a bad day, he thought.
“Who was just here?” he asked, suddenly remembering his mysterious visitor.
“I don’t know who it was,” she replied. Her arched eyebrow let Dutch know she didn’t appreciate the after-hour’s visitor. She looked at his chart and then took his vital signs. “He didn’t tell me and I didn’t ask. I’m sure he’ll be back during visiting hours.”
Dutch didn’t like her tone or her bedside manner. Not only was her personality gruff, but she was now needlessly rough when checking his wounds. Gauze with adhesive tape should be gently removed from a hairy body, not violently tugged free, taking with it skin and hair.
“Damn, that hurt,” he complained as she yanked yet another gauze bandage free. She looked at him with mild disgust, as if he were the problem. “I’m sure there are gentler ways to remove the tape.”
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