3

by Jacob Z. Flores

  The nerve receptors across their bodies sizzled on overload.

  Dutch stepped toward the bed, and Justin matched his movement. The time had come for them to fully experience each other’s bodies.

  When they reached the bed, they got on it, kneeling and facing each other. Justin reached down and grabbed Dutch’s cock in his sweaty, hot grasp. He stroked it with one hand and then with two. Dutch’s eyes rolled back in his head; Justin’s hands on his stiff prick drove him beyond passion and toward unbridled lust.

  Dutch returned the favor. He took Justin’s cock in his left hand while his right hand delved into the soft, furry crevice of Justin’s ass. Their mutual masturbation was in synch, and every time Justin pulled down on his cock, Dutch pressed his finger a bit farther inside Justin.

  Justin then broke their embrace by pushing him backward onto the bed. Justin fell on top of his crotch and quickly inhaled his swollen member. “Oh my God, that feels great,” Dutch gasped. Justin’s slick tongue and the wet slurp of his cock worship brought him too close to orgasm.

  He reached over and grabbed Justin by his shoulders and flipped him onto his back. He licked his way from Justin’s chest to his cock before swallowing him as Justin had eagerly sampled him. Quickly, he lost himself in the sweet tang of Justin’s meat. The full head rested at the back of his throat, leaking sweet nectar inside him. He pulled back, swirling his tongue around Justin’s fat knob in order to savor each drop. In response, Justin thrust himself forward, driving further into his mouth. Dutch pinched his nipples as he continued his mouth massage, causing Justin to moan and squirm.

  “You’re driving me crazy,” Justin panted, his brown eyes aflame and his long hair matted to his face in sweat.

  “Let’s see what happens when I do this,” Dutch responded before turning Justin over on his stomach. He now had access to Justin’s twitching center. He parted the sculpted cheeks and dove in, lapping at the hairy middle and getting drunk on the musky taste. With every swirl or undulation of his tongue, Justin moaned and pushed backward, trying to drive his tongue farther inside.

  “I need you inside me,” Justin said breathlessly. He looked over his tanned shoulder, feeling his cheeks flush red, and pleaded for Dutch to fuck him.

  Dutch didn’t need to be asked twice. He knelt behind Justin, who presented himself on all fours before him. Dutch grabbed his cock and aimed it straight at the awaiting hole. He rubbed his erection along Justin’s crack, eliciting whimpers of anticipation.

  He spit into his hand and rubbed the natural lubrication all across his rigid tool, until it was slick enough to allow easy entry into a place he wanted to visit and never leave.

  Pressing harder against Justin, he slowly eased himself within the soft, tight folds of Justin’s body, clearing a place just for him. Justin’s ass muscles clenched around his hardness as Dutch pushed farther, trying to penetrate the first ring of resistance. When Justin’s body finally opened up to take all of Dutch inside, his prick popped into place and Justin’s body gripped around his cock, holding him firm.

  Justin rose up to his knees, making certain Dutch’s rod stayed securely within him, and rested his back against Dutch’s chest. He turned his head to the right and kissed Dutch as he dominated him from behind. Dutch kept his right hand on Justin’s waist, using the hand to guide their movements and time their rhythm. He moved his left hand to Justin’s neck in order to keep their lips locked while they were joined.

  As he pistoned in and out of Justin’s quivering hole, it felt like a thousand tiny hands were massaging him from deep within Justin. It caused him to slam into Justin harder and faster, until sweat dripped down his face and onto Justin’s back.

  “Give it to me,” Justin demanded. “Shoot your spunk in my hole. Make me your bitch.”

  “You want my load?” he asked while pounding harder into Justin. “You want me to blow inside your ass?”

  “Yes!” Justin screamed as he jacked his cock while being pummeled from behind.

  Completely lost in their sexual frenzy, Dutch looked down and watched his hard meat slide in and out of Justin. His cock was fiery red and ready to explode, but he tried not to think about it. He wanted to make it last.

  He focused on the sheen of sweat coating Justin’s body, journeying down to rest on the small of his back. Dutch surfed his hands over the slick flesh until they came to rest on Justin’s shoulders. He gripped them tightly, using them to ram himself harder and faster inside Justin’s hole.

  Justin bucked backward, hard. Their bodies crashed together in moist thumps as Dutch pierced further inside Justin, slipping past the second ring that increased the tightness of the grip on his manhood.

  Justin’s moans grew more intense, and the fervor with which he pulled on himself told Dutch how close he was to climax. Dutch also felt his own impending release. His left hand moved from Justin’s shoulder to his cock. He timed his stroking of Justin’s dick with his own thrusts within Justin’s ass. With a few more strokes, Justin’s body shook as he rubbed out Justin’s seed, which generously coated his fingers and palm in its stickiness. Justin’s hole clenched around his cock even harder, causing him to pump his sperm deep inside Justin’s shuddering hole.

  They crumpled into a heap on the bed, Dutch still on top of and inside Justin. He rested his head on Justin’s back. Justin breathed heavily underneath him. They lay together in silence; words weren’t only unnecessary, they weren’t enough.

  Words could never capture the fullness of heart and soul Dutch now felt. They couldn’t communicate how connected he felt to Justin. Connected wasn’t even a good enough word. They were intertwined, meshed, merged. They began the day as two and ended up as one.

  It was kismet, destiny, providence, or fate.

  The word didn’t matter. The definition was useless.

  It simply felt as if it was always meant to be.

  CHAPTER 25

  2010

  DUTCH felt trapped, not just in his half-paralyzed body but by the secrets he’d agreed to keep from Justin. The truth needed to come out, no matter how difficult it might be to hear. But he’d promised Spencer he would keep quiet, and while he may be an adulterer and alcoholic, his word was his bond. Another important life lesson taught to him by his father.

  Thinking about him, especially now, made Dutch miserable. The man was his hero, the ideal Dutch always wanted to live up to. So far, he was nowhere close to the man Fredrick Keller was. He’d failed at love and life. All the lessons his father had taught him, about how to live and how to grow into a good man, obviously never took root.

  If they had, he never would have fallen in love with a "married" man, turned into a drunk, or practically ruined his body and his life.

  Resting his head against the hospital pillow, he closed his eyes. The image of his father riding on the back of the phoenix sprang into view. Soaring through the night sky, his father cut a fiery swath through the darkness, lighting up his world. His hands held tightly onto the phoenix’s flaming feathers as he steered the bird toward him, his guiding light in times of dark distress.

  What are you trying to tell me? he wondered. Am I making a mistake? Should I tell the truth even though I gave my word that I wouldn’t?

  His father circled overhead, leaving trails of fire behind him. The phoenix looped into the circle over and over again until a bright ring of fire blazed high above him. Bursts of flame shot outward creating a halo like the sparklers he used to spin in circles on the Fourth of July.

  I don’t understand, he said, calling to his father. What does that circle mean?

  Then, without a word, his father flew off into the darkness, leaving behind the circle of fire, which still blazed brightly above him.

  He had no idea what it meant, but even from down below, he could feel the warmth of the fire. It reached out to him in a thousand warm embraces, encircling his body and filling him with love.

  Love is the only worthwhile legacy we leave behind, his father’s voice said.


  Those were the words his father had said to him before he finally succumbed to cancer. Although he begged his father not to speak, imploring him to save his energy, his father refused. He wanted his son to know what was important about life, about how love made death not so final. Though they would no longer see each other, their love continued on in the sky above and in their hearts below.

  In the end, all that really mattered was love.

  “I’m back.”

  Justin’s voice brought him out of his trance.

  “Sorry,” Justin said, carrying a Pizza Hut box and two Cokes into the room. “Did I wake you?”

  “No,” he replied. “Just thinking.” His eyes immediately zeroed in on the food and drink in Justin’s hands. Pizza and Coke were Dutch’s favorite comfort food. In times of distress, nothing could beat greasy pepperoni and high fructose corn syrup, something Justin obviously remembered.

  “Well, you can think and eat,” added Justin.

  He placed the box onto the rolling side table and opened the container. The intoxicating aroma of melted cheese and garlic filled the room. Justin took a folded napkin out of the pocket of his jeans and placed the biggest slice of pizza upon it. He handed the slice to Dutch as if they were best friends preparing to watch a movie instead of ex-lovers who had just gone a couple of rounds.

  He held the napkin and pizza in his hand as Justin went to work on the Cokes. Justin unscrewed the cap on one then the other. From the tan water container, a standard in all hospitals, Justin undid the cap, which doubled as a cup, and filled it with Coke. The hearty fizzle of the carbonation made his mouth water as Justin placed the cup within his reach.

  “Come on,” Justin told him. “I know how much you love your pizza and Coke.”

  Dutch made no attempt to eat the pizza or drink the soda. He simply held the slice in his hand and stared at Justin. This simple act of kindness reminded him why he fell in love with Justin in the first place. It also made him feel even worse about the secret he kept in his pocket.

  Justin had no clue what lay before him. Dutch wanted to tell him. It was the right thing to do. But staring into those big eyes, filled with concern and perhaps even love, he realized for the first time Spencer was right.

  The truth would do more harm than good right now.

  “What’s wrong?” Justin asked.

  “Nothing,” he replied before he took a bite of the pizza. Justin’s narrowed eyes revealed that Justin didn’t believe him. But he was no longer focused on the secret he kept. The pizza tasted too damn good. The cheese and grease bomb momentarily trumped all his other concerns.

  The meal transported him back to happier times, when this food was shared with family and friends. He’d inherited his love of pizza from his father. They’d often shared a whole pie and Coke to work through the problems of childhood. When he became an adult, eating a slice or two together was how they stayed in touch, no matter how busy Dutch’s life got.

  Halfway through the slice, he also recalled nights in college when he and his friends would lay about his dorm, eating pizza, drinking beer, and imagining the lives they would lead after graduation. Back then, life was an open ocean, not the edge of a cliff.

  Eating pizza brought all the good memories up from the deep waters of his subconscious. The simple act of consuming cheese, pepperoni, garlic, and tomato sauce simplified his perspective. It reminded Dutch of the important times and people of his life, when his life was guided by only love.

  He tentatively stared back at Justin, whose eyes still begged him to discuss what was troubling him. Instead, he grabbed the cup of Coke and took a long swig. The carbonation burned his throat on the way down and took his breath away. The combination left him incapable of speaking and thereby confessing the secret.

  Justin shrugged, his sign that he was moving past the need to know. He fished another napkin out of his pocket and grabbed a slice of pizza from the open box. “The pizza will wreak havoc on my lactose-intolerant system, but it smells too good to pass up.”

  As Justin ate, Dutch feared he would somehow see what he tried to hide. If pressed, he also worried he might speak the truth and break the promise he’d reluctantly made to Spencer.

  “I know something’s wrong,” said Justin. “But I won’t pester you about it.”

  Dutch continued to eat the pizza, feigning indifference.

  He finished the first slice and reached for another. Justin told him to remain still and retrieved another piece of pizza from the box for him.

  “Thanks,” he said when Justin placed the second serving in his hand. For the briefest moments, their fingers touched. The old flame that used to burn sparked to life. Its warmth traveled from his index finger and quickly circulated through his body, like a ring of fire.

  From the slight blush to Justin’s cheeks, it was obvious he felt it too.

  Despite everything they had been through, there was something still there. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, no matter how much he wished it away, it blazed within their souls.

  CHAPTER 26

  2009

  EVEN though he was spent, after having three intense orgasms, Dutch still burned with passion that wouldn’t abate. He wanted more. No, he needed more; he needed to feel Justin’s cock buried in his throat, unleashing another torrent of hot spunk down his gullet. He longed to once again mount Justin, watching his face contort in a mixture of pain and pleasure while begging him to pound away inside his ass harder.

  More than the pleasure of the physical, he wanted to feel the connection that linked not just their bodies but their hearts and their souls. Never before had he felt such a strong connection with another person. It was eerie yet comforting.

  “I can’t believe how right that felt,” Dutch said between ragged breaths.

  Justin panted beside him, drenched in sweat. Instead of responding in words, Justin scooted closer to him and laid his head on Dutch’s untrimmed chest; sandalwood and leather still clung to the air about him, except now it was coupled with the unmistakable heaviness of sweat and cum. Sighing deeply, he snuggled into the fold of Dutch’s neck. His actions spoke louder than if Justin yelled it from the top of the Tower of the Americas in downtown San Antonio.

  Justin obviously felt the distinctiveness of their union as well.

  To experience such passion or such a connection with a man he had only just met boggled Dutch’s mind. Past dalliances had certainly scorched the bed sheets, but once the climax arrived, the passion fizzled.

  Not even most of the sex he had with past loves compared to the marathon lovemaking he and Justin completed. He’d dated men for years that never once came close to the intimate bond he felt forming between the two of them. Once he entered Justin, he left a part of himself behind. When Justin returned the favor, making love to him on his back without ever once looking away while they were joined, Justin too left a part of himself, which was more than just his DNA, inside Dutch as well.

  He kissed the top of Justin’s head and wrapped him in his arms. He ran his index finger up and down Justin’s still moist back, all the way down to the cleft of his firm rear. Justin nuzzled against his pecs while his left hand journeyed down Dutch’s treasure trail. He paused at the crown jewels, touched them with the tenderness of a feather, and then traveled back up the trail.

  “I could stay like this forever,” Dutch told Justin.

  “That’s what scares me.”

  The unforeseen response took Dutch by surprise. He was expecting agreement or a more romantic response than the one he got.

  Immediately, he felt like a fool. This obviously meant more to Dutch than to Justin. For Justin, this was a one-night stand, a diversion from his problems at home. He never meant for their meeting to become anything more.

  Once again, like Yosemite Sam, Dutch had leaped into a situation without thinking.

  How many idiotic romantic blunders will I make in my lifetime?

  “I’m sorry,” he said, sitting up in bed. Justin’s
head slid off his chest. “I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Justin’s confused expression perplexed him.

  Hadn’t Justin just implied he was reading more into this than was there? Didn’t the tone of his response suggest regret for what they had done? Wasn’t Justin now berating himself for cheating on S and regretting he’d ever met him?

  “What do you mean ‘what do you mean’?” Dutch asked.

  “I’m really confused now,” replied Justin with a laugh. He once again moved closer to Dutch. With his back against the headboard, Justin rested his head on Dutch’s shoulder and let out a long exhale. He took Dutch’s left hand within his right and held it firmly. “What’s going on?” he finally asked. “Your mood has changed.”

  “Are you regretting what we just did?”

  Justin didn’t reply. He leaned against Dutch in silence, their hands still in each other’s grasp, their bare legs entwined.

  The silence became deafening. To Dutch, it validated his concerns. Justin was sorry for what they had done, and now he was most likely concocting scenarios on how to extract himself from the hotel and the situation. If he were a betting man, he would bet that after tonight, he would never see or hear from Justin again.

  “I never imagined a bearish man to be such a drama queen,” Justin said. He looked up at Dutch from where he rested on his shoulder and smiled. “I don’t regret what we did.”

  He didn’t believe Justin. “You don’t?”

  “No,” Justin said emphatically. He shoved a tangled lock of hair out of his face. “The whole experience was almost….” He stopped before he finished the thought.

  “Almost what?”

  “Magical,” answered Justin a bit apprehensively.

  He watched as a different emotion washed over Justin. It definitely wasn’t regret. It looked more akin to surprise with a hint of sorrow. “Why the look?”