‘Like some? I couldn’t doze off so went for a walk.’
‘Thanks.’ She plucked off a plump, green grape.
He patted the expanse of bed beside him. ‘Pull up a pew.’
She looked towards her room. She’d done what she’d come to do, made sure Tait was fine. She should go.
Tait patted the bed again. ‘Are you sitting or standing?’ She stepped forward. Tait sounded so weary the last thing on his mind would be kissing her again. Maybe some company was all he’d need to sleep? She sank onto the bed and, ensuring she kept a safe distance between them, slid back until she reached the pillows against the bedhead. Tait deposited the bowl of grapes on her lap.
‘Eat up. I bought two bags.’
‘Didn’t you eat your lunch?’
‘No, but I’m hungry now. I’d be fine if only this headache would go.’
‘I’ll make you a coffee?’
His smile flashed in the dim light. ‘I’d never thought I’d say this but I’m all coffeed out.’
‘Now that is a first.’
‘You’d better believe it. Did you sleep?’
‘No.’ She stifled a yawn. ‘But I should have.’ She passed him back the bowl of grapes. ‘I’ll try again now.’
He took the bowl, his eyes not leaving hers. ‘Don’t leave. I’m going stir-crazy all by myself. Sleep here.’
She shook her head. ‘You and I both know that’s not a good idea.’
‘Believe me,’ he dragged a hand across his forehead, ‘you haven’t ever been safer than you are right now.’
She examined his face and saw nothing but tiredness and pain. But even then she hesitated.
‘If I stay, will you try to sleep?’
He nodded even as he placed the grapes onto the bedside table and reached for the television remote to turn off the TV.
She lay down on the white coverlet. ‘Okay then, but see this space?’ She gestured between them. ‘Cross it at your own risk.’
His only answer was to switch off the bedside lamp. Daylight crept in through the thin crack in the curtains, preventing the room from falling into total darkness. She watched as Tait lay on his back, rested a hand behind his head and closed his eyes. ‘Your wish is my command, Princess.’
She waited a few seconds to check he was serious about sleeping and then closed her own eyes. Too late she heard the rustle of the coverlet as Tait moved and his hand settled on her right breast. She sat bolt upright and swung her pillow in the general direction of his deep chuckles. He stole the pillow from her grasp and hugged it to him as he rolled on his side to face her.
‘Sorry.’ He grinned. ‘I’ve never been good at doing what I’m told.’
‘Now I know what that poor scout master had to put up with,’ she said, pulling the second pillow from behind her and holding it to her chest like a shield.
‘Relax. I’ve had my fun.’ His smile widened at her undoubtedly sceptical expression. ‘We do really need to sleep.’
Easing the pillow behind her and lying down, she kept her eyes pinned on him. He edged a little more over to his side. ‘You have my word I won’t touch you again.’ His lips quirked. ‘Unless of course you want to come over onto my half.’
She rolled onto her hip so she could keep a closer watch on him. ‘That’s so not going to happen.’
‘A man can dream.’
‘Go. To. Sleep.’
But his eyes didn’t close. Her internal alarm signalled code-red. She was supposed to be remembering he was just a city boy who’d soon be gone. She was supposed to be staying behind the invisible line. She looked at his tanned forearm wrapped around the pillow.
‘Tait, why don’t you wear an allergy bracelet? A girl at university who was allergic to peanuts wore a heavy silver one.’
‘I did when I was younger but now – what can I say? – I’m a bloke.’
‘Real men can wear jewellery, you know. Especially if a bracelet saves your life.’
‘I don’t need one. I have you.’
She waited for a smile or mischief to glint in his eye, but his expression remained shadowed and strangely serious.
‘But I won’t always be around.’ She aimed for a light and breezy tone, but instead her voice emerged barely louder than a whisper.
‘Well then, that’s why I have a card in my wallet that tells everyone about my allergy and I always carry an EpiPen.’
She nodded and went to speak but then shut her mouth. Maybe if she stopped talking Tait would close his eyes and not look at her with such compelling intensity. But the longer the silence stretched, the more the nerves fluttered in her stomach.
‘So were you very young when you had your first allergic reaction?’
For a moment she thought he wouldn’t answer, then he adjusted the pillow beneath his head and spoke. ‘I was eight. Mum and I’d been at Bruce’s for a while and one Sunday he’d taken us to Whale Beach. We walked along the sand, ate ice-creams and explored the rock pools. Being a typical boy, I’d run ahead and when I saw this blue, jelly-like thing on the sand I jumped on it to see if it would pop. In the process I tangled my foot in the tentacles.’
‘Hell, Tait. You jumped on a bluebottle jellyfish.’
‘Don’t worry, I won’t ever do it again. After I’d popped the bluebottle, my foot stung a bit but I kept running, only feeling a little short of breath. But then I fell onto the sand and couldn’t breathe, and Mum knew something was seriously wrong. As I said that day in town, a mobile saved my life. Bruce had an early one, you know the ones the size of a brick, and called for an ambulance. They reached me just in time. Tests showed I was also allergic to oysters and prawns.’
Paige shivered. She knew how Tait’s mother must have felt seeing him unable to breathe. ‘Your poor mum. Her heart would have stopped seeing you lying there on the sand.’
‘I never set out to cause her grief but always seemed to end up doing so.’
Paige sank her fingers into her pillow to stop them reaching over the gap between them. From the raw emotion underscoring his words, there were other things he’d done he still felt guilty about.
‘Tait, your mother loved you, no matter what worry you may have caused her. As you said last night, things do happen and sometimes they aren’t anyone’s fault.’
But as Tait rolled onto his back, his profile set, she knew she’d lost him.
‘Maybe.’ The single word indicated their conversation had ended.
Paige’s eyelids fluttered but she didn’t open them. She hadn’t slept so soundly for what felt like forever and she wasn’t about to abandon her peaceful dream world. She snuggled deeper into the plush underlay beneath her. A whisper of sound beside her again caused her eyelids to flicker. But still she didn’t fully awaken. She flung out a hand and encountered the warm, corded strength of a man’s arm. Reality rushed back. Shit. She was in Tait’s bed. But instead of opening her eyes and pulling her hand away, the lethargy of sleep continued to act like a sedative. Her fingers crept down Tait’s arm to his hand. If he didn’t move, he was still asleep and she was safe to silently slip from his bed. But his fingers closed around hers with gentleness and purpose. The heat of his touch seeped into her skin. Into her soul.
Something deep within her chest splintered. The man lying beside her, whose fingers were entwined with hers as though he wouldn’t ever let her go, might be a city boy who’d soon be a distant memory. She struggled to draw breath. But he was a city boy she … loved.
Her fingers tightened on his. His thumb caressed the back of her hand, waking every slumbering nerve ending. What she wouldn’t give to suspend time and to have a night in his arms where there was only the two of them with no responsibilities and no goodbyes.
Why couldn’t she? She’d never been one for a casual fling but if that was all that was on offer then it would have to be enough. She’d trade a night with the man she loved for a future free of regrets. Anxiety knotted her stomach. Well, that’s if he’d have her. She was no sexy and soph
isticated city girl.
Before her courage failed her, she opened her eyes. Tait looked at her. Even in the poor light she could see the tension that carved his face into taut lines. She might have slept but he hadn’t. He soon would. Fingers shaky, she unfastened the buttons at the front of her dress.
Tait followed the path of her hand down her chest even as he sat upright. The tremble of her body transferred to his and she felt his hand shake before he suddenly released her fingers.
‘Paige?’ He said her name with such torment she knew he was just as lost as she was. The knowledge silenced the last murmurs of her reservation. All or nothing.
She came to her knees and shrugged out of the top half of her dress. The thin, red fabric pooled around her waist.
Fire burned in his eyes but still Tait didn’t make a move towards her or look below her shoulders. So much for the skimpy coral and ivory lace bra she’d agonized over buying.
‘Paige. I gave you my word I wouldn’t touch you again.’
Her only answer was to slide the wide belt from around her waist and drop it onto the floor. The red dress slid lower around her hips.
He groaned. ‘I’m not a saint.’
She closed the arm’s length between them and when their bodies were a breath away from touching, she stopped. His heat jumped across the space separating them. His haunted eyes held hers.
‘I can’t offer more. Not yet.’ He spoke as though all the syllables were being ripped from his lips.
‘It’s okay.’ She touched her mouth to his and then pulled away a little. ‘Tonight will be enough.’ It will have to be.
She saw the instant his control snapped. His pupils dilated and his urgent, almost desperate hands cupped the back of her head as his mouth covered hers in a molten, hard kiss.
She entwined her arms around his neck and squealed as his hands claimed her waist and he flung her onto the bed, his body covering hers.
Oh. My. God.
Breathing ragged, her hormones too replete to even say ‘I told you so’, Paige wound her arms around Tait’s no doubt nail-gouged back. She could hardly think. All she could do was feel the way her satiated body pulsed with life and love, and feel the wrench as Tait rolled off her. But then he gathered her against him and she turned her face into the curve of his neck to kiss his racing pulse. His arms tugged her even closer.
Her soul floated as weightless as summer air. Tait’s clever and tender touch had taken her to places she’d only believed existed in fiction. She’d shattered beneath him like the finest crystal. And, man, she wanted to shatter again. She had a lifetime of loving to cram into just one precious night.
Careful to veil her eyes with her lashes, she leaned back in his arms to look up at his face. Tait couldn’t know her heart was now his. She had to keep things fun and casual between them.
He smiled. Even in the dim light, she knew she’d never seen his blue gaze glow with such vibrancy.
‘You know I didn’t ever believe it was the quiet ones you had to watch.’ He brushed from off her cheek the hair that had long ago ceased to be smooth and sleek. ‘But now I’m a believer.’
She lifted a hand to trace the bruises beneath his eyes and matched his smile. ‘Well, before you double-check your discovery, you need more sleep.’
He suddenly looked serious. ‘Will you be here when I wake?’
She trailed her fingers over his eyes until his lids closed, and then breathed, ‘Try keeping me away.’
Get a grip, Cavanaugh.
Tait forced his attention onto the road and away from Paige as she slept in the passenger seat of the hire car, just as she’d done on their first trip to Glenalla. The hem of her red dress failed to cover her slim legs that she’d tucked beneath her. The top three buttons, with a little earlier help from him, had worked themselves undone to reveal the shadow of her cleavage.
He speared his hand though his hair. It didn’t matter they’d slept little last night, just like it didn’t seem to matter he’d organized a late check-out so he could take his time removing her bath robe when she emerged from the shower. He was still as wound up as a horny teenager. He simply couldn’t get enough of her.
But it wasn’t the way her curves filled his palms or the honey taste of her skin that drained his willpower; his attraction ran far deeper than just the physical. He clamped his hands around the steering wheel to stop himself from touching her. God he loved her.
His deep sigh echoed around the car. Somehow he had to find a way to honour his mother’s last wish and somehow he had to find a way tell Paige the truth without losing her. No words had passed between them but he had to hold onto the hope the promise of her kiss meant she saw him as more than just a troublesome city boy. He then could only hope when she found out how he’d deceived her she’d still feel the same.
She stirred, uncurled her legs and raised her hands to the car roof to unkink her back. His mouth dried as her breasts strained against her dress and the fourth button worked itself free.
Her arms lowered and she reached over to settle a hand on his thigh.
‘You’re not feeling too tired?’ she asked, concern in her voice.
‘Nope. Doing just fine.’
She grinned the same mischievous grin she’d flashed him after her shower – when he’d encircled her waist and slipped a hand beneath her short bath robe.
‘Great.’ She inched her hand up his thigh, squeezing as she went. He scooped up her fingers before she could do any more damage.
‘Hands off, country girl. At this rate we won’t even reach Banora Downs by dinner.’ They both knew it wouldn’t be possible to stop and still reach Banora Downs in time for the welcome-home lunch Anne and Connor had prepared.
She smiled again and her fingers rested on his thigh.
‘You know, our night doesn’t have to end when we get home,’ he said.
Her fingers twitched. ‘Yes, it does. I know what’s on offer and I don’t want to be like the other women in your life who want something more.’
He took a second to answer. ‘I can’t offer more than I have. But … I’m hoping things will change.’
She looked at him but he didn’t return her gaze. His secret had to hold firm.
‘What are you saying?’
‘To be honest, I don’t really know.’ He pretended to concentrate on the empty road. ‘All I know is that I’m working on not being so busy.’
Her fingers slipped from his and he felt her withdrawal as keenly as if she’d pushed him away.
‘We have to be sensible about this. Apart from the fact you’ll soon be leaving, we’re both committed to our different worlds. Once we cross the cattle grid into Banora Downs, I’ll have Connor and a farm to take care of and the moment you take your phone off silent you’ll have a voicemail full of calls to answer.’
‘Stranger things have happened than our two worlds meeting.’
She laughed but it was forced. ‘That would only be a possibility if you moved out here and I wouldn’t ever ask you to leave everything you’ve ever known behind.’
He tensed. Keeping his secret from the woman he loved was becoming harder and harder. It was as though he were entangled in a net and whichever way he turned he entwined himself further. ‘Just think about it,’ he managed. ‘Who knows what changes in our lives the future will bring?’
Her shoulders slumped as she looked out the side window at the dusty, battle-scarred landscape. ‘I’d settle for rain.’
He took her hand in his once more and a heavy silence settled between them. The closer they drew to Banora Downs the more the harsh spectre of the drought intruded. They sped past a tall, metal mailbox shaped like an emu.
‘I keep meaning to stop and take a photo of that mailbox on my phone,’ he said, trying to distract her from the desiccated landscape through which they drove. ‘Next time.’
She nodded absently. The hire car approached a crumbling dry-stone wall flanking a cattle grid. Despite the absence of any mailbox the av
enue of mature, pale-trunked gum trees heading away from the grid indicated that once such a grand entrance would have featured an impressive mailbox. Paige turned to look at the line of parallel trees as they passed.
‘If you like mailboxes you would have liked Killora Downs’ old one.’
He carefully let go of her fingers.
‘Really? What was it like?’
‘It was a tractor my grandfather helped Ross Sinclair weld together. When I was little I’d look at the photographs in the albums and think I could drive it like a real one.’
‘It sounds great. What happened to it?’
‘I have no idea but seeing no one has lived at Killora Downs for an eternity, I’m guessing the tractor could have been stolen or simply fallen apart.’
‘What a shame.’
‘I know. We haven’t always had our plain milk-can letter box. Grandpa and Ross also made one for Banora Downs of a vintage car.’
‘That sounds fitting.’
‘Yes. It was. Just like you and Dad, that was one thing Grandpa and Connor had in common, cars.’
‘Obviously, we all have great taste.’
She pulled a face. ‘Anyway, some local yahoos mustn’t have shared your taste as one morning Dad says Mum went to collect the mail and found the car blown to smithereens.’
‘You’re kidding?’
‘No. Whatever they’d used the car was beyond repair, so Dad put up the milk-can from out of the shed.’
Tait slowed the hire car as the milk-can mailbox came into sight.
‘Paige,’ he turned to look at her, ‘I’m serious about you thinking about “us”.’
‘What we shared last night …’ Colour tinged her cheeks.
He grinned despite the tension gripping him. ‘And this morning,’ he added.
Her blush deepened. ‘Okay, and this morning … was … wonderful but we know it has to come to an end. If we hold onto false hope, it will only end up hurting us.’
‘False hope works for me.’
‘Tait, please don’t do this. You know I don’t make a habit of getting involved with city boys – actually, for that matter country boys – so it will be hard enough as it is to say goodbye. Don’t make it any more difficult.’
Beneath Outback Skies Page 21