by Nina Lincoln
It’s a brutal rendition that shows the depth of his antipathy toward the notion.
Sensing me falter, he puts his hand over his heart, covering the tattoo, and shudders.
“Princess, none of this matters with you,” he says fiercely, and my heart melts, the last of my worries slipping free.
Yes, Colt’s done horrible things but so have I. If we can find our way clear of our fucked-up past, we’ll be stronger than ever.
Leaning up, I pull his hand away and kiss his heart over his tattoo, marveling when goosebumps break out over his arms and chest. Growling, he pulls me fiercely into a hug and covers his mouth with mine again, the ferocity of his emotion bleeding through as he fucks my mouth ravenously with his tongue.
Moaning my desperation, I hurriedly pull his pants down, needing him, all of him now.
He matches my urgency, flicking the pants away with his feet before pulling my legs wide and surging into me.
Simultaneously we groan, and he leans down, resting his forehead against mine.
“You’re the best thing, Finn, the best,” he growls.
My heart hitches in my chest, my body pulsing around him, and with a moan, he pulls back and thrusts into me with long, deep strokes, staring into my eyes as he brings me to completion and follows closely behind.
After, we lay snuggled against each other, staring at the stars until we have no choice but to pack up and go home.
*****
The next few weeks are lovely. Colt and I exist in our own little world, sailing through classes together and exploring each other after.
It’s the calmest my world has been since I moved here. I haven’t heard any more news about my dad and my special friend has been markedly absent. I should be focusing on that, but I have no clue who it is, and my efforts have brought me nothing but frustration.
The one time I tried to warn Colt about the threats against him, he flat out refused to back off.
“No way, Princess, I refuse to let some sick fuck keep me from you. Besides, it’s not safe,” he says grimly.
Still, I worry for his safety as much as I do mine, but with each passing day without a note or gift, I start to hope he’s given up or moved on.
Which makes me feel like an asshole because if he’s moved on from me, does that mean he’s obsessing on someone else?
My birthday is around the corner, but I’ve told no one. For now, I plan to visit my mom and spend the day with her. All of these firsts without her are painful, to say the least, and I just don’t know if it will be a good day or a bad one.
It’s a chilly March day, the sun bright and blazing, winter still holding on with both hands. This doesn’t stop the guys from wanting to hang out by the lake, so eager for warmer temperatures they’re willing to freeze their asses off.
Although grudging because I hate being cold, I come along because I live for these moments with Colt. We’re all gathered around a blazing fire, sipping on spiked hard drinks while I snuggle up with him, my favorite place to be.
Dirk’s across the fire with another unknown chick. He cycles through them so quickly I’ve lost count and the will to get to know them better. I still haven’t gotten to the bottom of what Sarah said about Colt’s half-sister, but neither has so much as uttered a peep that leads me to believe it was true.
George is here with a cute girl named Sasha, who looks at him with adoring eyes. It’s so sweet.
Ramie sits beside me, staring glumly into the fire, watching out of the corner of her eye as Hayden, ho-extraordinaire sucks face with a cute freshman. He’s another one who cycles through the chicks. I suppose before me - Colt was the same. A thought which rankles, so I push it away.
“What’s Teddy up to today?” I ask Ramie, hoping to pull her attention from Hayden.
I guess she likes bad boys, just like me. Glancing sideways at Colt, I flush when he gives me a wink and turns back to the guys, making jokes.
Sometimes, when I look at him, I lose my breath painfully. Without the typically cold exterior, he shines so much brighter, and I marvel at where we are, together, touching because he craves it.
He can't keep his hands to himself, and every time he takes my hand, rests his on my knee, or pulls me under his arm, warmth blooms in my chest. His need for me is intoxicating, and I love that I’m his drug as he is mine. He hasn’t even backed off like he used to, growing cold with the panic of the feelings he couldn’t contain.
“Probably online with his stalker,” Ramie says, turning to look at me with a blush. She knows I know she has the hots for Hayden, but she ignores it, as do I.
My heart clenches in my chest before easing as I ask softly, “Stalker?”
Shrugging, she says, “Some chick online. I swear she’s obsessed, but he eats that shit up.”
“Oh,” I say.
I’m sure it’s a coincidence, but I wonder if Teddy has the same issue as I? Couldn’t be, he would have mentioned it. Right?
“I’m glad he has you, you know?” she says. “Since the accident, it’s been hard for him to find friends. Real friends. Although even before, it was a struggle.”
I squirm uncomfortably, reminded I’ve been remiss in reaching out, so caught up in Colt and rebuilding what we started not too long ago.
“Before?” I ask.
“Yeah, he was a little shit who got into trouble almost constantly. After the accident, car accident, all the kids he harassed took it as their free pass to get back at him.”
“Harassed?”
“Yeah, he was a total dick, but he’s much tamer now.”
I can’t imagine Teddy as anything other than the sweet guy who befriended me when no one else would. I guess we all change when life throws us curveballs, his it would seem for the better.
“What about Ben? Have you heard from him?” I ask quietly.
She turns her head away, a strange expression crossing her face. “Sometimes, he texts me, but I haven’t seen him. I don’t think he’s going to give up anytime soon.”
“Texts? Like what?”
Hesitating, she looks at me before her gaze moves over my shoulder. “Mostly threats. Ben doesn’t like to be told no.”
“Oh, are you, um, scared…?”
Her eyes fly back to mine, the jade green hue overtaken by her pupils, and the eerie look sends a shiver down my spine.
“Ramie?” I ask tentatively.
Blinking out of her thousand-yard stare, she mutters, “Yes, sorry.”
And I smile weakly, turning to glance over my shoulder when her expression darkens, spying Hayden practically fucking the girl for all to see. Disgusted, I turn away, but since I can’t help but feel bad for Ramie, and Hayden though a dirty ho, did help me out when I needed it, I decide to try my hand at matchmaker.
“You know, if you want him, you’re going to have to put yourself out there.”
She shifts uncomfortably but says, “How so?”
“Well,” I shrug, “I don’t think he’s going to consider making a move if he doesn’t know you like him. But, you know, just be warned, I’m not sure he understands the meaning of exclusivity.”
She chuffs out a laugh, “You think? Hayden’s a dark star with a black soul and barely repressed violence beating in his savage chest.”
Blinking, I stare at her. I surely never expected such vehemence in such an eloquent manner to pass from her lips. Ramie’s turning out to be an old soul.
Smiling, I gaze at Hayden again and say, “Maybe so, but no one’s past redemption. Hayden needs someone to reel him in and show him who’s boss. If that’s you, you can’t back down. Be strong, and don’t allow him to walk all over you.”
“You talking about me, Baby?” Colt asks, leaning into my neck and giving me a soft kiss.
Shivering, under his gentle caress, I say softly, “Always.”
He grins against my skin and bites into my neck, creating a pulse in my core that almost makes me moan out loud. Instead, I gasp, and he pulls me up and away, leading me back t
o the truck with the group’s chuckles trailing behind us.
Chapter Six
It’s my birthday, and I’ve been evading Colt’s attempts to hang out since this morning. I didn’t tell him about it, and I’m hesitant to reveal my plans. My time with my mom feels special, and including anyone else would make it weird.
Besides, I know he’ll try to talk me out of going alone, but I need this, and it's broad daylight out. Who would bother to follow me to the cemetery?
Feeling bad but resolved, I turn off my phone and make my way to her grave, cleaning off her stone and leaving a bouquet of vibrant flowers on top.
“Hey, Mom,” I say softly, sitting down in the grass.
Today is actually a beautiful day, the sun is bright, and the cold front has moved along. With any luck, we will move into spring without any more freezing temperatures.
“Today’s the big day. Eighteen. Can you believe it? I made it. I’m officially an adult.”
Running my fingers through the grass, I glance around the cemetery absently. “I always looked forward to this day. I thought we’d celebrate together, you know?”
A gust of wind fly’s through and pushes my hair over my face. “Now it’s just me.”
Staring at her stone, I rub my fingers over the words and sigh. I feel alone, lonely and it’s my fault because I could be spending it with Colt, and instead, I’m here talking to an inanimate object.
Feeling foolish, I turn my phone back on and pull up his last text.
Colt: Princess, where are you?
Me: I’m visiting my mom
Colt: ? Your mom?
Me: yeah, I’m at her grave
Colt: oh
Colt: you want some company?
I look around the area, staring at the beautiful green trees throughout, surrounded by carefully trimmed grass and a sea of plaques and stones. It’s quiet, serene but empty.
Do I want Colt to come here? Or do I want to go back?
Colt: Princess?
Smiling at the moniker that gave me so much angst before, I type out a response with a warm heart. It doesn’t matter where we are as long as I’m with him.
Me: I’m done here. I’ll come to you
Colt: are you sure?
Smiling, I type out a response and rise to go, brushing my ass off as I step away. Another gust of wind sweeps through the area, and my head swings around when I hear rustling in the distance, nothing but the swaying trees and a sea of graves greeting me.
Shivering, I make my way toward the entrance, slowing when the hair on the back of my neck stands on end, but when I peek behind me, I’m faced with nothing but the same vista.
Still, I can’t escape a sense of urgency and skip to the entrance, spying my car through the fence with relief, only to skid to a stop when a figure in jeans and a hoodie steps in front of me.
The figure looks all too familiar even if I’ve never seen his face, which is no different now with the hood pulled up. He’s tall, with broad shoulders and meaty hands clenched at his sides.
Gasping, I step back, my heart pulsing uncomfortably in my chest, and clearing my throat, I rasp, “Um, excuse me.”
Please step aside. Please just be another visitor here to see their loved one. Fuck.
He cocks his head to the side and raises his hand, reaching out for me ghoulishly, and I step back cautiously, adrenaline spiking in my veins when he follows.
Absently, I note I’m trembling from head to toe as I demand, “What do you want?”
“I want you, Finn.”
Spinning on my heels, I run back the way I came, racing through and around the graves, the obstacle course laid out before me, forcing me to weave around the taller pieces, slowing me down.
I can hear my deep breathing - shit, and I can hear his deep breathing.
With a groan, I increase my strides, a stitch forming in my side, the ache becoming unbearable, but with no other choice, I power through it, sobbing for my efforts.
In the next moment, his body crashes against mine, collapsing on top of me as I tumble to the ground with a pained cry, and terror washes through me so quickly, I fear I might vomit.
Laying over top of me, he pauses, and I’m reminded of the similarities to my attack in the parking lot. This was not long after I started at North, and at the time, I thought it might have been Melissa.
Was that my fan then too?
Unfortunately, this time there’s no one here, no one can save me now.
Trembling, I fight the bile surging up my throat, gagging on the acidic taste as I look around in a daze.
I’m brought out of my painful lethargy when he leans into my neck and whispers, “It’s time. Are you ready, Finn?”
Closing my eyes, I shudder but summon the breath I need to move and slam my head into his face. I don’t have much momentum, trapped against the ground as I am, but it at least stuns him.
“Fuck,” he says as he rolls away.
Scrambling out from under him, I bring myself to my knees and turn back, gasping to find Ben grinning ghoulishly at me, his teeth covered in blood from the impact to his nose.
“It’s you,” I say incredulously.
Slowly he gains his feet, and I back away again. Shit, I should’ve run while I had the chance.
“Who’s me?” he leers.
Turning away, I take off again, but he’s right fucking behind me, and I’m already exhausted from the last go-round. Gasping for my efforts, I barely register my phone ringing in my pocket, but the constant buzz brings me out of my panic long enough to pull it out with trembling fingers.
Muscle memory must take over because I don’t so much as glance at the phone as I answer it.
“Hey, Princess-“ Colt says.
“Colt!” I sob, cutting him off.
“Finn? What’s going on?”
“He’s here Colt, Ben-“
Oomph, I hit the ground hard again, smacking my head against a stone. Moaning, I clutch my wound, the distant roar of Colt’s voice screaming my name blaring over the phone.
“Bitch,” Ben hisses, pulling my arms behind my back painfully.
I’m too dazed to do much more than lay there while he maneuvers me like a rag doll, and once he’s got me subdued, he grabs for the phone and ends the call, silencing Colt’s terrified screams.
Disappointed, I lay my aching head against the grass. Even if Colt is hours away, hearing his voice gave me a modicum of comfort that’s now gone. I didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye, although at least Colt will know how much I care this time.
How stupid of me to ignore the danger and come here alone. I’m not normal. I don’t get to have a moment with my mom for my birthday. I should have known better.
How many times do I have to tell you to pick up your room?
Are you giving me lip?
Goddamn it, Finn, why don’t you ever listen!
Stop crying your fake fucking tears.
Maybe this is my destiny, and perhaps I can’t outrun death - I only postponed the inevitable when my dad let me live. Now it’s here, and I’ve run out of lives.
“What now?” I say, dully, defeat running through me.
“Now, you meet your fan,” Ben says silkily.
“I thought you were him?”
“Ha! No, I’m not that fucked in the head.”
“But you’re fucked enough to do this?” I ask dryly.
He slaps me on the head, and as much as I don’t want to, I whimper but hearing him chuckle above me makes me clench my teeth, hard. Bright side, the pain in my head dulls, but my jaw now hurts.
“You’re lucky he doesn’t want you touched. I still owe you,” he sneers.
“Fuck you!”
“Naw bitch you’re already fucked.”
Fuck. If Ben isn’t my fan, how deep does this shit go? I mean, who has the power to send someone else to do his dirty work?
“Who is he?” I demand.
“Your worst nightmare,” he says grimly
&nb
sp; Pulling me up to my knees, he says harshly, “Try anything, and I’ll make you bleed, you understand?”
Nodding silently, I allow him to pull me to my feet and march ahead of him as he leads me back to the entrance.
I know I have to get away before we reach the car because there’s a good chance I’ll never be seen again otherwise, but Ben’s a lot bigger and stronger than I. If I plan to get out of this, I have to be smarter, not stronger.
He’s walking so quickly, I stumble along before him, literal stars dancing before my eyes. He has a death grip on my arm, and my head is pounding so hard, pain is jackknifing through my skull. Not only that, but I can feel blood sliding down my temple.
My unsteady gait is not an act, but I am prepared to use it to my advantage.
With my car in sight once again, I shove my arm in my hoodie and grab my keys. One of the only useful things my dad taught me is how to use my keys as a weapon, and at the time, I couldn’t help but think the only person I’d ever have to use them against was him.
Pulling the largest key through my fingers, I grasp it like a lifeline and suck in a breath for courage, watching my car and my escape like a hawk.
Just before the gate to the entrance, I ‘trip’ over the ground and gasp dramatically, dropping to my knees. Grunting behind me, he loosens his grip on my arm as I become dead weight.
“Bitch!” he exclaims, leaning down to get a better hold and pull me back up, but I wrench to the side and jam my key into his face at the same time.
I’m lucky, so lucky because the key hits his eye, and he screams, flying back and falling to his ass. The last glimpse I get of him, he’s clutching his eye, writhing on the ground as I waste no time jumping to my feet, and exiting the gate on trembling legs.
The seconds feel like hours as I press the buttons on my key fob, setting off the alarm before finally unlocking the door and sliding inside.
With a sob, I start the ignition while staring at the gate. Ben hasn’t emerged, and I peel out and turn the car around, racing toward the road with a last glance back to see it’s still clear.