“Detrick, where are you going?” he heard his dad shout over the howling gusts.
“Away. I’ll be back later,” he called over his shoulder.
Truth be told, Detrick didn’t have a destination in mind. He needed to think things over, because the fact that he’d gotten so angry at James had surprised him. Not only that, but he wasn’t entirely sure he even blamed James for this anger. He was more embarrassed at his own actions. Victoria and Kellis had both witnessed Detrick come flying to Conner’s defense, and that shouldn’t have happened.
Why did Detrick care that they now knew who Conner was? So they were friends. Big deal. Then another thought entered his mind: how terrible the timing was when Conner had decided to come knocking on his door. The two hadn’t even been on speaking terms. And it was Conner’s idea in the first place to stop talking. Was he trying to catch Detrick in the act? He’d expressed his suspicion of Detrick’s ties to the Union, after all.
As he walked, small hail began to fall. He took minimal notice of this change in the weather as he continued to walk. He was still astonished at himself that he cared so much that Conner had knocked on that door at all. But the bottom line was that Victoria now knew Conner played some significant role in Detrick’s life. And then, for no reason at all, Detrick was questioning this role. After all, Conner was merely a childhood friend, someone completely unremarkable to him. Why should it matter?
Simply because, for a while, they’d spent hours together almost every day? Or because Detrick had felt incomplete since Conner had decided to call it quits? There was always a moment before Detrick fell asleep at night when all he could think about was how much he pined for Conner’s friendship again. Why was that so strange?
The hail was now accompanied by a light sprinkle of rain. It wasn’t long before it turned into a steady fall. Freezing water smacked him all over and sent a chill through his body, but Detrick continued to follow the road, having no intention of turning back any time soon.
Maybe it wasn’t completely normal, though, that Detrick had always found solace in the way Conner would smile when they met up. And of course, Detrick had always marveled at how brilliantly green his eyes were. His hair always looked so soft. His skin was so smooth and flawless. And his mouth…
Like a firebolt, the realization hit him.
He was intensely attracted to Conner. How long had this been true? He now knew that it was something he’d kept hidden from himself. But there was no denying it. He could feel it with every breath he drew into his lungs, every step he took down that gravel road.
Perhaps he even loved Conner.
No, no, no.
That couldn’t be right.
The hail wasn’t just falling now, it was charging at the ground at breakneck speed and trying its damnedest to take Detrick down with it.
And then there was the Union. On the one hand, why did Conner have to come back into his life at all? And how dare he suddenly jeopardize everything he’d worked so far for the past three years?
Why did the only thought in his mind have to be Conner’s face and how beautiful it was? His voice and how soothing it was? His touch and how even the thought of it was now sending a piercing dagger of yearning deep into his stomach?
There was a pain in his heart. All Detrick wanted was to kiss Conner until the pain disappeared. His hands ached to pull Conner into him and hold him forever—the desire was as searing as the bruises forming all over his body. Not only was the hail beating him down slowly, but the icy rain was soaking him, its inherent numbness creeping into his bones like a wraith.
He was trying to fight it as best he could, but it was consuming him.
Oh yes, it was right.
He began to feel the revelation flood into him. He laughed aloud. Into the rain and the unmerciful hail, he laughed. It was true. He loved Conner. It felt so right, so real. He wanted to bolt back into town and find Conner so he could tell him everything. He hoped, he prayed, for the possibility that Conner might feel the same way about him.
After that came the sharp pinch of reality. How could he have been so foolish? There was nothing to embrace. Detrick’s life belonged to the Union. All this time celebrating this epiphany, and he’d completely forgotten where the Union would fit into all this.
Suddenly he because very aware of how fiercely the massive hailstones were beating him like hammers. His drenched clothing was weighing him down and chilling him to his core. He walked faster, as if to escape it, but it was everywhere.
He knew his life would be so much more difficult now. And he knew that, realistically, he should never allow himself to see Conner again. Most of all, he knew the only person in the entire world who could end his suffering was Conner.
Why do I need you so badly? Please leave me. Please, please leave me.
He wanted to scream in Conner’s face, to tell him just how dangerous his presence would make everything. Conner, despite his blaring differences from Detrick, was so perfect in every way; there was no other option than for Detrick to fall in love with him. And that, Detrick now understood, would be his own downfall.
By and by, he remembered where he was, outside and on the verge of hypothermia, so he decided he needed to find shelter fast. He’d walked so far and for so long that he no longer knew where he was. Trudging into the forest, he spotted a small cave under a rocky ledge. He sat down under it and watched as the storm raged on outside.
Conner had taken control of Detrick’s heart—its every beat was for him. And yet Detrick could do nothing. He could do nothing to repay Conner for sparking these intensely amorous feelings within him, the likes of which he’d never known existed. No, he was cursed to watch those feelings turn stale and rot as the Union twisted him to their liking. They’d use him up and dispose of the husk that was left.
There was nothing left for him to do but cry silently for the rest of the night.
CHAPTER 12
FAREWELL
Early the next morning, a very fatigued and soaking-wet Detrick arrived home. He closed the front door silently behind himself, and then let his jacket fall to the floor before going to lock himself away in the bathroom.
“Son?” his dad asked from their bedroom doorway.
Detrick paid him no mind. He went into the bathroom and closed the door.
When he finally emerged from the longest shower he’d ever taken, he still felt rotten. Sure, he’d finally admitted to himself that his feelings for Conner had been real this whole time. He’d always believed that with hard work came great reward, so why was the opposite now true? All the turmoil his mind had endured the previous night, and there was no reward to show for it. Absolutely nothing about this would be easy.
He wrapped a towel about his waist and stared at himself through the fogged mirror. The blurred face that stared back at him seemed apropos right now; he didn’t know if he had the strength to look himself in the eye. He finished getting dressed and then went to his bedroom to lay down.
“Oh, Lilith, no!” Detrick heard his mother scream from the kitchen.
He shot up from his bed and tore into the living room, searching frantically for his parents. He followed his mother’s sobs into the backyard and found them near one of the larger apple trees. “What is it? Are you okay?” he called out, sprinting over to them. As soon as he arrived, he saw what they’d found: Rebecca’s body was hanging lifeless from the tree. She was soaked from last night’s storm, and her skin was pale and waxy. Her eyes stared barrenly into the world about them. They seemed to see everything and nothing all at once.
A violent chill raced down his spine, far more frigid than anything the night before.
Completely bewildered, he tried to make sense of what lay in front of him. Rebecca had always appeared so strong and resilient; how could everything lead to this?
He forgot his own dilemma and immediately thought of James. He felt selfish for being so caught up in his own problems. Did James know yet? Who would be the one to tell him?
“I saw her from the kitchen. How could this happen? How could this happen?” his mother cried, dropping to her knees.
Detrick sunk to the ground and embraced her. His dad stood there blankly, and finally covered his face with his hands.
“You don’t need to be out here, Mom,” Detrick said. “Let’s go back inside, and Dad and I will figure this out.” He helped her up, and his dad led her back to the house.
“We caused this,” she sobbed as they walked.
“Of course not,” his dad answered, but Detrick knew she was right. The Morleys were being destroyed, and by their hand. Victoria may have given the orders, but the Lismores acted on them.
He returned shortly after to help Detrick release Rebecca from the noose. Her body was beginning to stiffen, and it was unnerving to Detrick. He made a point to avoid her face as they handled her. As strange as it sounded, the body no longer looked like Rebecca. It made him queasy…he’d be taking another shower after this.
They laid her on the ground, and Detrick’s dad closed her eyes with his thumb and forefinger.
“Hey,” Detrick said, “she’s got a note on her.” He pointed to a piece of paper poking out of the pocket on Rebecca’s dress. He cautiously reached into the pocket and withdrew it.
“What does it say?” His dad asked. Detrick handed him the note. He frowned. “Well, there you go,” he said sorrowfully, refolding the note and placing it into his robe pocket. “Let’s get on the radio with Victoria and get this sorted out.”
A few hours later, Detrick and his dad were in James’ house, accompanied by a couple of paladins who’d interfere if James’ behavior got out of hand at the news.
“Have you found Rebecca? Where is she?” James was pacing around the living room, Adrianne in his arms. She was inconsolable, and her cries pierced Detrick’s ears.
“James, I think we should wait until your daughter has calmed down before we discuss this,” Detrick’s dad spoke over the noise.
James nodded in agreement. “I’ll be right back.” He disappeared down the hallway with his daughter and turned into the first doorway on the left. After some reassuring words and a lullaby from James that echoed into the hallway, Adrianne’s cries began to subside. A few minutes of silence passed, and he emerged back into the living room. “Now, please tell me what’s going on. Where is my wife?”
Detrick’s dad inhaled sharply. “Rebecca was found in our orchard this morning. She…she’d hung herself. She’s dead. I’m so sorry.” He clutched his fist to his heart, a typical Aeosian show of remorse, especially at the loss of a loved one. Detrick did the same.
Like he’d been held up by a rope of his own that suddenly loosened, James dropped to his knees and sobbed vehemently. “Why…why, Rebecca…why…” he cried out over and over.
Detrick and his dad backed away slowly and took seats on the couch. Detrick felt so out of place here, in the home of this tortured man who’d been dealt blow after blow. He wanted to leave right now and let James mourn properly, away from the eyes of strangers. But Detrick also wanted to give James Rebecca’s note. So they had to wait until the man recomposed himself enough for that.
After a few minutes, James stood up shakily and sat down in a chair across from Detrick and his father.
“Uh…we found this note on her,” Detrick said, handing the note to James.
Handling the paper as though it was a precious artifact, James carefully opened it, sniffling, and read the words. Just as he finished, he began to sob again and let the note fall to the floor.
“I need to ask,” Detrick’s dad said. “Did Rebecca say or do anything that hinted she might do something like this?”
James rubbed his face. “She was very quiet last night. And she’d been sick for days…now I understand why.”
Detrick felt such pity for this man, but what could he do? He felt he needed to express some sympathy, even if it would be frowned upon by the paladins in attendance. His family had been specifically instructed to form no sort of relationship with the Morley family. But in times like these, Lilith damn his obligations. “I’m so sorry, Cleric Morley.”
“Get out of here, all of you!” James’ voice shook as he rose to his feet. “How dare you express anything toward me at all when your entire existence is being spent ripping my family apart?”
Adrianne was soon heard crying from her bedroom, adding to the sheer anarchy taking hold of the Morley house.
Detrick’s dad threw caution to the wind and rebutted. “Believe it or not, this isn’t ideal for me either, James. I do as I’m ordered, and so should you. If no longer for Rebecca, then for your daughter. It’s the only way,” he said through gritted teeth.
Detrick witnessed the paladins shift silently in their places. His father was openly admitting his lack of support for the Union in their presence.
“I think we’re finished here, Lismore,” one of them said coldly.
The room eventually cleared, and the note lay open on the floor. There was complete silence in there, but a mournful energy seemed to permeate the stillness. A few erratically scribbled words cast a final nod of existence to Rebecca Morley:
Do not be sad, James, my love, for one day the four of us will be together again.
* * *
Trying as hard as he could to push aside the morning’s events, Detrick knew he owed Conner an explanation for turning him away at his house yesterday. Unfortunately for Conner though, Detrick’s explanation would have to be a lie. And unfortunately for Detrick, he was a terrible liar. So he decided the best excuse would have to be a simple one, something that required few words and expert nonchalance.
“We had a plumbing emergency. A pipe burst and flooded our living room.”
“A pipe burst,” Conner repeated. He broke the twig in half that he was playing with and threw it on the ground. “You’re sure that’s what happened?”
“Yes. I swear. Sorry I didn’t tell you yesterday. I was just so frazzled, you know?”
“Right.”
The two were walking through the forest north of town, eventually emerging out the far side, arriving at the cliffs that dropped straight down to the ocean. They took up seats on a large boulder and listened to the waves crash against solid rock.
“I need to ask you something,” Conner said. “And please don’t lie to me.”
Detrick’s stomach flipped. He was already feeling sheepish about being around Conner today, the person he’d secretly confessed his love for the previous night. But now he was going to have to endure Conner’s suspicions and interrogations. He knew exactly what he was going to ask—the guy had come nearly face to face with it yesterday, and Conner was no idiot. Eventually, he’d put the pieces together.
“Do you have some kind of relationship with the Union that I don’t know about?”
Detrick laughed nervously. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just answer the question, please.”
Detrick hopped down off the boulder. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. My family are farmers. We make our money selling apples. That’s all.”
“Really? Because back in May, I saw your dad in the Temple talking to Cleric Morley.”
Oh, no.
“Want to tell me what that’s all about?” Conner asked, crossing his arms and looking sideways at him.
Detrick’s heart pounded against his chest. “I…I have no idea.”
“You have no idea why your dad was in the Temple telling Cleric Morley about the speech he gave the next night? About how his family would be in danger if he didn’t do what the Union told him to do?”
Conner had Detrick trapped. But he could still deny knowing about his father’s meeting with James. He had to. It was all he had left. “If my dad really did that, this is the first I’m hearing about it.”
“Is that your official answer?” Conner asked, not moving from his seat on the rock.
“Yes.” Detrick said quietly. “I’m—I’m so sorry.” And he real
ly was. It hurt him to lie like this to Conner. Suddenly the desire to pull Conner close to him was intense.
Conner stared at him in silence before jumping down onto ground from the boulder. He took a step toward Detrick, who was unsure what to expect. Conner was silent a moment longer, staring deep into Detrick’s eyes as though trying to read his thoughts. “Goodbye, Detrick,” he said finally, turning to leave.
“What? Where are you going?” He grabbed Conner’s arm, but Conner yanked it away.
“I’m leaving. If you’re not going to tell me the truth, then we have nothing more to discuss. I came to you wanting an explanation, and you gave me some bullshit excuse. You’re a bad liar, Det. Come find me when you decide to tell me the truth.” And with that, Conner left Detrick alone on the cliff.
Detrick remained there for hours, lost in thought. What a supremely horrible day this had turned out to be. Rebecca’s corpse still haunted him, battling with Conner’s departure as the foremost thought in Detrick’s mind. His brain felt like sludge, and he couldn’t properly process either occurrence. A stiff drink sounded good right about now.
Only when a couple of magpies landed nearby to search for food did he break out of his stupor. He watched them strut around, uttering strange noises to each other It was amusing that these animals could have an entire conversation without him understanding any of it. Studying them longer though, he realized it wasn’t hard to figure out. When one of them located a food source, it made a small gurgling noise, and the others responded accordingly. When one called from a nearby tree, the others would answer in two or three brief caws to announce their position.
Perhaps the reason Detrick was finding it so hard to maintain peace with Conner was because they spoke different languages. They both led very different lives, lived in different worlds. But with more time, perhaps they could overcome the confines of their differences. Detrick knew that if he wanted his love for Conner to grow, and if he wanted Conner to grow to love him in return, he’d need to work to eliminate that barrier.
Powerless: Aeos Book One Page 9