“That’s bullshit,” Conner said, setting down his fork forcefully.
“It’s not. It’s why I’m still alive.”
Conner raised his eyebrows. “What history do you have with the Union?”
Ned uttered a deep sigh. “I worked for them once upon a time. It was a pretty lucrative job. Pay was good. But the projects they had me working on were getting more and more…let’s say, questionable. God, all those innocent….” Ned drew in a deep breath to steady himself. “Long story short, I didn’t agree with it, and I made that very clear. But they wouldn’t listen.
“After a while, after they’d decided they’d heard enough from me, they threatened my life. But there was no way I could go on doing what they wanted me to. I don’t want to go into specifics, here, but…I decided my only course of action was to abandon the position and flee. Regrettably, I—I had to leave my family behind. By staying with them, I was putting them at risk.” Ned stared down at his plate. “And that’s one of my biggest regrets. But I couldn’t let them see me get killed, if it ever came to that. So I made up a story. Told my wife I had to leave. That I…” At this, Ned’s eyes glassed over with tears, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “That I didn’t love her anymore.
“Now this is my life,” he said, gesturing to the room around them. “I’m very fortunate, and very thankful, that the owners of the shop downstairs took pity on me. But if I’d just stayed, I’d have a family. I’d probably continue to have nightmares about my work, and I’d detest what they were making me do, but at least I’d have my family.
“And that’s my point, Conner. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. The Union always wins. We can’t fight them. That’s the reality of the world we live in. Please, if you take anything away from what I’ve told you, just remember my story. Don’t risk losing your life, or your loved ones. Nothing is worth that.”
Conner was speechless. For the first time in his life, he’d heard proof from another human being that the Union was as terrible as he’d always believed it to be. This man, hiding away in an attic in a no-name prairie town, who’d be murdered if the Union ever found him, was pleading with him to just accept things the way they were.
And what was more, he was beginning to understand why Detrick was so afraid to admit to him the truth he’d suspected. Conner had grossly underestimated the power the Union had over its people. Suddenly he felt like an absolute fool. Detrick wasn’t keeping it a secret because he wanted to; he was keeping it a secret…out of fear.
* * *
Though the conversation between Ned and Conner remained somber for the rest of the night, Conner appreciated it nonetheless.
At the end of the night, with his belly full and his injuries a little less unbearable, Conner fell asleep on the couch. He slept very lightly however, with even the slightest noise jerking him awake. As he lay there, staring into the darkened room, there was someone he secretly wished was near. Someone he knew he owed an apology to. Someone he realized he didn’t want to risk losing. The thought of him helped Conner sleep a little more peacefully.
* * *
The next morning, Ned gathered some supplies for the road and packed them into a backpack for Conner. As Ned worked on a quick breakfast in the kitchen, Conner looked over the supplies. A canteen of water, a blanket, a few cans of food, some plums, and a pack of matches. He was also given a light jacket. It wasn’t much for keeping a person warm, but it would at least protect against poor weather. Ned apologized and said he wished he could do more, but he didn’t have much to give. Conner thanked him over and over…for it was a real possibility that he’d not have survived the journey back to Edgewood on his own.
After breakfast, he was on his way.
Before Conner knew it, Weston was far behind him, with nothing but prairie grasses and the occasional grove of trees ahead of him.
CHAPTER 15
SNOW
At long last, after so much walking that Conner assured himself he’d never walk again, the lights of Edgewood appeared in the distance. He dropped to the ground for a final rest, leaning against a tree to admire the view before completing the final leg of his journey. Dusk was a thing of the past, so Conner buttoned up the jacket Ned had given him. It was well made but nowhere thick enough for being out in the cold all day and night. He was grateful for the generosity however, so he continued on without complaint.
Big, fluffy snowflakes began falling all around him. Perfect. He pulled out the blanket and wrapped it around himself. Winter was in full swing, and it was forcing Conner to work intently to keep from freezing to death.
* * *
Detrick saw Conner through the living room window. Oh, Lilith, he was back.
He was safe.
He was alive.
Leaping to his feet, Detrick raced to the door and threw it open. “Conner, wait up.”
Conner turned around, and he looked positively gaunt. Oh, what in Aeos had the Union done to his Conner? He looked so delicate and small… “Hey, Detrick,” Conner said weakly. “Look, we’ll talk later. I’m pretty beat right now.” But the road was fast becoming coated with snow. It would make the rest of his trip much more difficult.
“I know, and that’s fine,” Detrick said, “but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could have done. But, what were you thinking, Conner? I can’t believe you attacked that guy.”
“He deserved it. That guy was a lying asshole. I’m not going to let my mother get treated like shit from some maniac and his stooge of a paladin.”
“Stooge?” Detrick repeated. Feeling like he’d been personally attacked, a flicker of anger grew in his chest. He still considered himself loyal to the Union, even if he didn’t agree with every single decision they made. He knew that after years of studying Union history, he was in a better position to make judgments about it than Conner was. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. If you had given the paladin a chance to handle things, then everything would have worked out fine. And most importantly, you wouldn’t have been arrested. But that’s what happens when you attack someone.”
“I can’t believe you’re defending them!” Conner shouted. “The way things are, we’d be better off with no government at all.”
“No. That’s completely untrue! There is no Aeos without the Union, or without the paladins. They keep order. If we didn’t have a system in place, the entire country would be overrun with crime. There would be murderers, rapists, thieves—you’d do well to remember that. The system we have may not be perfect, but it works. So quit your complaining and learn to accept it. I’m so sick of you always disrespecting the Union.”
With that, despite their frozen surroundings, Conner tore off his blanket and jacket, and then his shirt, revealing the injuries he’d sustained only days before. He bellowed, “Do you see these stitches? You want me to tear them out so your noble ass can see the blood fall from my open wounds? You think that’s imperfect? It’s worse than that! I was outright tortured, Detrick! This is what someone who speaks out deserves under your ‘system.’ They get beat the fuck down until they fall unconscious to the floor in a pool of their own blood.
“They tear your reality from you and replace it with their own. The Union isn’t protecting us from murderers, rapists, and thieves. They are the murderers, rapists, and thieves. And you people, the ones who follow them, are just a bunch of soulless beings craving your next meal of false hope and freedom from the Union you claim to love so much. So go back in your house, fall asleep with your twisted views of morality, and get the hell out of my face.”
Detrick stood silently, observing the damage that had been done. The very sight of each imperfection on Conner’s body made him want to retch into the snow. He’d been completely ignorant to the fact that the Union practiced torture as a form of discipline. At a complete loss for a decent response, the only thing he could say was, “I’m so sorry.”
Conner was a victim of Detrick’s entire livelihood. He w
as someone who only wanted what was best for those he loved, and yet he’d been tortured and treated like nothing more than trash to be burned.
The wind picked up. Conner shouldn’t have to walk home in this mess, and Detrick felt that offering him shelter was the least he could do. No matter their differences, Detrick still wanted to take care of Conner as best he could. He owed him that much. “My parents are asleep,” Detrick said, “Do you—do you want to come inside? My house is closer than yours.”
Conner shook his head. “I think I’ll brave through the snow, but thanks.”
“Seriously, Conner? This isn’t a time to be too proud to accept help. You still have a long walk home, and it’s freezing outside. Just let me help. Please.”
Conner stood in place for a moment longer. Finally, with a slight tip of his head to acknowledge his reluctant agreement, he grabbed up his things to follow Detrick inside.
“Have a seat in the chair, and I’ll be right back with some hot tea. Are you hungry?”
“No,” Conner said quietly.
Detrick added another log to the fire in the hearth before disappearing into the kitchen. The flames immediately licked the wood, happy for more fuel. He returned from the kitchen a few minutes later with a cup of hot apple tea and handed it to Conner.
“Thanks.”
Detrick felt a little odd hosting Conner in his home after the argument they’d just had. He took up a seat on the opposite end of the couch from Conner but knew he probably wasn’t accomplishing any amount of nonchalance.
“What, do I smell bad?” Conner teased.
Detrick smirked. “Maybe a little. How far did you have to walk?”
“They dropped me off outside of Weston. I might have been here sooner, but I stayed at someone’s house to recuperate.”
Detrick thought for a moment about everything that had happened over the last few days. “You know, I don’t know where you find the energy to care so much, Conner. I really don’t.” He settled deeper into the couch and joined Conner’s gaze into the fire. “But I’m glad you’re back safely. I had a hard time sleeping not knowing what was going on.”
Conner hadn’t answered him—he simply stared into the fire, taking the occasional sip from his tea, and Detrick was left wondering why he hadn’t responded. Had he given away his feelings? Not wanted to appear desperate for an answer, he let his mind wander as he stared into the waning flames.
After a while, he looked over and saw that Conner was sound asleep in the armchair, his empty tea cup perched on the arm. Detrick decided this was a good time to head to bed, and he did so. As he lay there, however, he kept thinking about how Conner was just in the next room. They hadn’t slept in the same house since they were kids. And definitely not since Detrick had admitted his true feelings for Conner.
After half an hour of pointless tossing and turning, he left his bedroom and returned to the living room. Conner had curled up in the chair and still appeared fast asleep. Detrick found a blanket and covered him with it, then settled in on the couch next to him.
“Do you want to know what happened to me when I was locked up?’ Conner asked quietly.
Detrick pondered the proper response. He wasn’t certain he could bear hearing about what Conner had been through. He feared he’d feel indirectly responsible for it, being in the Union’s service. On the other hand, though, he wanted to give Conner the chance to explain it for himself. “You can tell me, but don’t feel pressured.”
“I’m not; I want you to know. Maybe you’ll understand a little more about why I despise the Union so much. Because they do these awful things to people. I almost lost my mind in there.” Conner paused. “How long was I even gone?”
“About a week,” Detrick said.
“Man. It was horrible, Detrick. Everything I thought I knew, my memories, my emotions—it was completely twisted. Ripped from me. I lost all sense of time. And then the attack happened. I’d never wish that kind of treatment on anybody. And I don’t know if I’d be able to handle it a second time without dying. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop fighting.”
An uneasy silence filled the room.
“I could never do what you do, Conner,” Detrick said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…if I knew the consequences for fighting back would be what you had to go through, I wouldn’t have the courage to fight.” He took a moment to reflect on his own position with authority. The repercussions that would befall his own defiant actions would probably be even more severe than what Conner had experienced. “You’re eternally more fearless than I could ever be.”
Conner shook his head. “Well, I appreciate that, Detrick, but I think it’s more a case of hard-headedness and stupidity. If I was smart, I’d just keep my mouth shut and let the world continue to function as it is.”
“Hey.” Detrick moved much closer to Conner and sat facing him. “Don’t ever give up on what you believe in, okay? If it’s right to you, then it’s worth fighting for. Don’t ever, ever be ashamed of yourself. No one said we have to agree on everything. I should never have argued with you about it in the first place. You have qualities I could kill for.” Detrick felt completely exposed. But as always, Conner had brought out the very best in him. Maybe those same qualities that he envied in Conner were deep within himself, begging to be recognized.
Conner smiled. “You’re so full of shit, Detrick Lismore.”
“Perhaps.”
Conner yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I hope my mom is okay. I guess I owe her an apology when I get back.”
“Yeah, I suppose you do.”
The fire was reduced to embers now, and the deep crimson glow was fading. Detrick could hardly see Conner even though he was quite close to him. This was how he always wanted things to be between himself and Conner, so he decided to make sure it stayed that way. “I have a deal for you,” he said, trying to meet Conner’s eyes in the absence of light.
“What’s that?”
“Let’s leave that part of our lives behind us. No more Union talk. From now on, let’s just be friends because we want to be. What do you think?”
“I have to admit, I am tired of fighting with you all the time.” Conner chuckled. He stuck his hand out from the blanket. “It’s a deal.”
Detrick took Conner’s hand in his, and the two shook on it. Their hands lingered for a moment. A moment that ended too quickly for Detrick as he awkwardly withdrew his hand.
There was a peace and warmth that night that he hadn’t felt for as long as he could remember. Sighing contentedly, he laid down on the couch and covered himself with a blanket. He’d hardly been able to sleep the past week, wondering where they’d stolen Conner off to. He’d tried asking the paladins around town, but none of them had an answer for him. But Conner was here now, safe and sound, and there was not a thought in the entire world, not even about the Union, that could disrupt him. As he drifted off he knew that from now on, things would be different between them.
Both slept soundly through the night.
CHAPTER 16
CAMPING
The winter crept by, largely uneventfully, except for the night when James lost his temper and attacked Detrick’s dad. Naturally, the paladins in attendance were able to apprehend James rather quickly, but not before leaving Detrick’s dad with a sizeable black eye.
Victoria remained bedridden. It was relayed to the Lismores one snowy evening that she may not survive the winter. As Detrick still considered himself a faithful follower of Lilith, he knew he shouldn’t be wishing death upon anyone, but he’d come to realize that Victoria had abused her position for too long. The kinds of things she was doing never seemed to happen in other provinces that he was aware of. And so, he felt it appropriate that she answer to Lilith for her actions.
Detrick had been meeting up with Conner regularly, mostly in secret, to avoid the prying eyes of his family and the Union. He didn’t know how serious of a misstep the Union considered their friendship, but
he didn’t want to risk finding out. His parents seemed wary enough as it was, so he had to guess they wouldn’t be throwing him a party for it anytime soon. And while it was much easier to meet Conner at his house, it would often become a nuisance that he was also technically at work.
Every time Detrick met up with Conner, he had the sudden urge to blurt out his feelings. It was like a nagging little fly in his ear, and the more time passed, the louder its hum grew. But he was also getting really good at playing it cool. Despite how much Detrick wanted to grab Conner and kiss him, they were also childhood best friends. This was old territory, hanging out.
When spring was well underway, they’d both expressed the pressure they’d begun to feel from having to sneak around, so they agreed that a camping trip might be the perfect temporary escape. Detrick decided not to enlighten his parents about where he was heading. They were better off not knowing. If Kellis, or anyone, pressed them for answers, they wouldn’t have to lie for him. He was content to deal with any repercussions when he returned.
Detrick met Conner outside of town one clear morning, and they headed west. They both bore large backpacks filled with camping supplies, and as they walked, they shared some bread Gwenith had baked for them.
For the first hour they trekked through a forest thick with birdsong, and the sweet sounds lifted Detrick’s mood. The great pines trees stretched so high that Detrick had to crane his neck to get a good view of them.
Emerging from the cool forest around mid-morning, they both saw the vast, hilly prairies before them and the tops of the Ascent mountains in the distance. Detrick could just barely make out the snow-capped peaks on the distant blue skyline. He’d always wanted to journey to those mountains and, like Conner, he’d never been able to see much outside of Edgewood and the Citadel.
Yet here he was, on an adventure with his absolute favorite person. All through their childhood, they’d daydreamed of traveling Aeos together, exploring, experiencing new things, and always being together. And things had been so great between them lately. Ever since they’d officially agreed to set their differences aside, they’d grown so much closer.
Powerless: Aeos Book One Page 11