by Kelly Oram
“I have wanted you to know me for so long,” he said. “I’m sorry for the distance between us, but I’ve always been with you. I check in on you as often as I can.”
Ethan swallowed a lump in his throat, then pinched his eyes shut and ducked his head shamefully. His entire body started trembling so much that I reached out to steady him, afraid he was going to fall over.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ve messed up so much. I don’t deserve the honor you’ve given me. I—I can’t do this.”
Michael closed the distance between them and placed his hands on Ethan’s shoulders, but Ethan still didn’t open his eyes. I suspected there was probably a bit of moisture in them that he didn’t want any of us to see.
“Yes, you can,” Michael promised him. “It’s not too late, son, and it’s not entirely your fault.”
This made Ethan finally look at his father.
“I owe you an apology, too, Ethan,” Michael said. “I thought you’d come to your mother when it happened. I thought you’d know the truth. I thought you’d have help, and I didn’t expect your clan to poison your mind.”
“I’m so lost. I don’t understand any of this. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, and I—” Ethan looked at his feet again and gulped. “I’m scared.”
I barely managed to stop myself from gasping. I didn’t know guys were capable of that kind of honesty. Especially Ethan. He never let anyone see what he was really feeling, and yet here he was, openly admitting that he screwed up and that he was scared. In that moment, he became a completely different person to me.
“Finding me was the first step,” Michael said. There was so much pride in his voice that Ethan looked up again. I could tell he was surprised by the sincere smile on Michael’s face.
“There is so much I have to explain to you, and we must start your training as a true warrior as soon as possible. We’re going to have to work very hard. You’re getting a late start, and Grace needs you.”
“We?” Ethan gasped. “You mean you are going to train me?”
“There’s not another warrior on Earth to teach you, and a warrior’s bond is a thing no nephilim could understand. You have powers beyond them, a connection they could not possibly comprehend, much less teach you about. You are the closest thing to a true angel on Earth.”
Michael’s smile changed from solemn and proud to an excited grin. “No mortal being can match you. Therefore, only an angel could train you properly, and if you think I’m going to let another angel teach my son how to be a warrior…”
Michael was laughing! My jaw dropped so low I felt it hit my shoes. Were angels allowed to joke around? He stopped playing, though, when he saw the look on Ethan’s face. Ethan was shocked enough he was probably at risk of dying from it.
“Ethan?” Michael asked.
Ethan couldn’t respond other than with his eyes.
“Would you mind…?” Michael hesitated, a sheepish look spreading across his face. “Would it be too much to ask…I have always wished to see you in your true angelic form.”
For a moment, Ethan looked startled. I watched as he dragged his eyes up his father’s frame. No doubt he was mentally comparing himself to his father and feeling inadequate, but, surprisingly, he nodded and stripped off his hoodie and T-shirt.
I’d seen Ethan whip out the wings before, but it was different this time—as if he’d somehow been holding back. Maybe it was just the two angels standing together. Their glory was nearly blinding. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them until Michael pulled his son into a tight embrace. Ethan stood there awkwardly for a moment, but then wrapped his arms tightly around his father.
Right about the time I heard Michael whisper “I love you, son”, I started backing away. The moment was way too intimate and they deserved their privacy. Russ had the same thought as me and was more than happy to escape with me back over to the railing to get a nice look at the water below us.
Unfortunately, I’m a klutz and the wooden planks of the observation deck weren’t exactly smooth. One of my crutches got caught in a crack and sent me crashing to the ground. Russ tried to catch me, but I just ended up taking him with me and we fell in one big Grace-like catastrophe.
“You dead?” Russ groaned.
“Almost.” I grunted. “You?”
“Same.”
When Russ managed to get all his limbs untangled from mine and roll off of me, I immediately found two angelic faces peering down at me. One of them was concerned, but the other couldn’t help his smirk. Ethan had seen me in this position plenty of times before.
“Don’t mind me,” I said, waving away Ethan’s helping hands. “I’m good. Nothing broken. Well, nothing that wasn’t already broken. You two go back to your father/son bonding. Russ and I’ll just be over there if you need us.”
Michael smiled but it quickly faded, and he gestured for Ethan to help me up.
“I wish I could, Grace,” Michael said sadly. “But I can’t stay long and I came here for you, remember? You called me. What can I do for you?”
I’d almost forgotten. “I’m looking for answers,” I said. “I’d like to know who I am. Why am I different? What’s my purpose? What am I supposed to do? It might make it easier for Ethan to help me if he knows exactly what he’s protecting, and I can’t really help anyone if I don’t know what you expect of me.”
Michael didn’t seem the least bit surprised by my request. He smiled as if he was already very fond of me. “Dearest Grace,” he said. “Always so worried about everyone else. You can only give so much of yourself away to others. You don’t need to save anyone. You are fulfilling your purpose simply by being alive. Though you are certainly capable of much more, and could do a lot for humanity during your lifetime.”
Just be alive? That didn’t make any sense. There had to be more to it than that. I could tell Ethan and Russ felt the same because they looked at me with matching frowns.
Michael seemed amused by our confusion. “Come, Grace. Sit down and rest your leg and I will explain.”
I started to hobble over to the bench, but after about two steps Ethan picked me up and carried me. I wanted to point out that I could walk, but I kept my mouth shut because there was something different about the way Ethan held me this time. He was gentler, and I didn’t feel waves of hostility rolling off him.
As he set me carefully down, I felt his father’s eyes on us. I risked a glance and wished I hadn’t. The look of satisfaction and pride on Michael’s face made me blush. Ethan noticed my cheeks turn pink and followed my gaze to his father. His face quickly turned as red as mine.
“There is no need to be embarrassed of your connection,” Michael told us. Too bad that only made the moment even more awkward.
Desperate not to talk about it, I quickly tried to get back on topic. “So I’m just supposed to be alive? Why is that so important? What am I? What happens if I die?”
Russ and Ethan sat down on either side of me, and together we stared up at the angel who seemed to be keeping a good five feet of distance from me on purpose. He smiled down at our waiting faces and said, “You are Balance. You are the only truly supernaturally ungifted being on Earth. The only life that cannot be touched by any form of supernatural power. The Mother Creator calls you the Ungifted One.”
Ethan and I frowned, but next to me I heard Russ choke on a snort. “Oh come on,” he said when I gave him a dirty look. “The Ungifted One? It’s funny.”
“It might be, if it weren’t the story of my life,” I grumbled. “So why am I different than everyone else? Who am I supposed to be balancing out?”
“Dani, obviously,” Russ said.
Michael nodded. “Two were needed to fulfill the Creator’s purpose. We needed one more powerful than any other, but there must be balance in all things. To have a being so strong, there had to be one equally as weak. One with no power whatsoever. One that no power could even touch.”
“But Grace is powerful,” Russ argued. “The fact that noth
ing can touch her, that she can takes people’s power away from them, that in itself is power.”
Michael smirked. It looked odd on his angelic face. “No one said the Creator doesn’t have a sense of irony.”
I almost smiled. Almost. I thought about it, anyway.
“Two of the Creator’s bravest creatures volunteered for the job—sisters as different as day and night.”
“Sisters!” I gasped.
“Sisters,” Russ echoed in a whisper.
“Indeed,” Michael said. “And considering your personalities, you were the perfect pair for the task appointed to you. Danielle was sent to be the embodiment of the supernatural—strong and powerful. You were to be the very essence of humanity—vulnerable and emotional.”
“Great,” I grumbled. “Ethan was right. I really am the weakest, most pathetic human on the planet. Literally.” Russ snorted again. “It’s not funny!”
Russ didn’t wipe the smile from his face. “Whatever you say, Ungifted.”
I elbowed him hard enough to knock a little wind from him. It only made him laugh harder.
“To be human is not weak,” Michael assured me. “In fact, I consider you to be the stronger sister, as your burden is a hundred times more difficult to carry.”
That finally made Russ stop laughing and I fixed him with a smug look.
“You may have no physical power,” Michael explained, “but traits like compassion, love, joy, and forgiveness are every bit as important and you are more capable of them than any other being on the planet.”
I tried not to glance at Ethan as I said, “It doesn’t feel that way.”
Michael nodded in understanding. “That is why your calling can be such a burden. Part of your humanity is to be flawed. As much as you feel all of the wonderful emotions, you feel the negative ones just as strongly. Loneliness, despair, anger, regret…Your heart can soar, but it will just as often break. You are more human than anyone ever was.”
“But she isn’t human,” Russ argued. “Supernatural touch feels different to her.” Russ took my hand in his. “She says this takes away her restlessness. She’s in the cravings.”
“She is connected to her sister. She is experiencing a bit of Danielle’s cravings, just as Danielle is struggling with a humanity that she does not have. But while Danielle is embracing her supernatural side, Grace is fighting her humanity.” Michael looked back at me, his face grave. “The stronger Danielle gets, the weaker you will become—unless you embrace who you were meant to be.”
Oh, great. “How am I supposed to do that? I have no idea who I’m supposed to be.”
“Don’t be afraid of your feelings, no matter what they are. Learn to take them in stride. Accept them. Revel in them. Trust yourself. You will discover yourself over time as you begin to accept your flaws as well as your heart’s desires.”
That didn’t even sound easy in theory, but like I was going to argue with an archangel. I nodded, and, thankfully, Michael turned his attention from me to Ethan.
“And you, son, have a destiny to embrace as well,” he said. “You will never be at peace with yourself until you do. But I know your heart, and I know you will do what is right.”
“I’ll try,” Ethan promised.
The angel reached out as if he were going to touch Ethan, but then pulled back. “It is so good to see you, Ethan. I love you very much. Take care of Grace. She is different, and supernatural beings can feel that. When they discover her, they will be drawn to her. She will always be in danger. That is why she needed a warrior, and why she has been entrusted to you. You cannot fail. Without her, both supernatural and human alike will fall.”
Ethan looked as tired as an old man, but straightened his posture and sat up as tall as he could. He looked wary, but ready for the challenge. “How?” he asked. “What do I have to do?”
“Start by swearing an oath of fealty,” Michael said. “You have not fully accepted your calling. You fight your destiny. Until you give yourself over to Grace completely, your bond will remain weak.”
Ethan gasped at that. “Weak?” he replied incredulously. “It’s already so strong it’s taken away my free will.”
I flinched. I knew he felt driven, but had I really taken away his freedom? It’s no wonder he hated me. We were a doomed pair, that’s for sure.
Michael shook his head, wearing an understanding smile. “No,” he insisted. “You were born for this, Ethan. The pull you feel is your will trying to tell you what it wants. Once you embrace it, you will finally understand who and what you truly are. You will discover your true power, and you will want nothing more than to be there for Grace in whatever ways she needs you. You will be hers, just as she will be yours, once she accepts your oath.”
Ethan and I both flinched and looked at each other with wide eyes. I wondered if I looked as ghostly pale as he did. The world around me blurred out of focus. I didn’t realize it was because I was trembling so hard until Russ placed a steady hand on my shoulder. I jumped at his touch, and was so startled I let out a tiny shriek.
“Do not fear your destiny, Grace,” Michael said, pulling me from my panic attack. “You and Ethan are not meant to hate one another. The two of you are only struggling so much with each other now because you are both fighting it. Your hearts can feel that, and they are at war with your minds. You need to accept one another.”
“B-but,” I stammered. “Can’t he just help me if I need it? Why do we have to, um, belong to each other or whatever?”
I couldn’t believe I’d just said that out loud. I felt myself blush so hard even my hands got warm. I prayed they wouldn’t get all sweaty because I couldn’t bring myself to let go of Russ’s hand. He was my anchor to sanity at the moment.
The Angel Michael watched us all for a minute, and I blushed even more when he took specific note of my grip on Russ’s hand. He didn’t seem offended, even though I was basically rejecting his son at the moment. In fact, he smiled at me as though he genuinely cared about me. As if he loved me, even. As if he knew exactly what I was feeling and was perfectly okay with it.
“The warrior’s bond is a very sacred connection. Once Ethan pledges himself and you consent to his fealty, the connection he feels to you will open up two ways. You will feel one another’s feelings and understand each other’s needs and desires. You will know each other inside and out.”
“But what if we don’t want to be like that?” I couldn’t help asking. “It’s unnatural to know someone so intimately. What about our privacy? Our agency?”
I waited for the angel to become annoyed, but Michael still didn’t get mad at me. He had the patience of a saint. Then again, the guy was a saint, so I guess it made sense.
“Grace, as the Ungifted One you will need more than just physical protection. The majority of your struggles in this life will be internal. You are more susceptible to your emotions than any other human. You will often be overwhelmed and lose proper perspective. Losing yourself to emotion can be dangerous.”
I cringed while both Russ and Ethan stiffened. No doubt we were all remembering a certain stepping in front of a bus incident.
“Supernaturals are not affected by emotion the same way humans are,” Michael continued to explain. “Without your bond, Ethan will never fully understand you. He won’t be able to protect you the way you need him to. Without your bond intact, he will never be able to protect you from yourself.”
Next to me, Ethan had been as silent as the grave, but he shifted awkwardly and I could only guess his thoughts. They were probably somewhere in the neighborhood of “I told you so.”
He didn’t look particularly smug, but I still got angry. I wasn’t angry with him, just frustrated with the situation. “Having to babysit a mentally unstable freak doesn’t exactly sound like a very fulfilling life,” I said. “Shouldn’t Ethan have a choice? I know you created him specifically for this, but he’s still a person. He shouldn’t have to do this if he doesn’t want to.”
“Ethan doe
s have a choice. The Creator would never take a person’s agency from him. That is why the bond isn’t fully formed until after he pledges his oath. It is also why you must accept that oath. You have a choice as well. You may both choose not to follow the destiny the Creator has laid out for you.”
“Can I choose not to be the Ungifted One?”
Michael’s smile faded the tiniest bit. “You have already made that choice. It was a choice you made long ago, before coming to Earth. You and your sister made it together. You knew there would be no changing your mind. This destiny was of your own free will. Just as Ethan chose to come to Earth to be your warrior.”
Well, I don’t know much about anything, but I can tell you one thing for certain. I used to be an idiot in my past life. Didn’t matter now, though. I’d apparently made the choice and was stuck with it. Thanks a lot, Grace. I gave up my argument with a sigh.
“It is not how you imagine, Grace. You will not lose yourselves, but rather, set yourselves free. Accept your connection and you will find a joy that no one else on this earth is capable of feeling.”
“How can you be so sure?” Ethan asked. I was surprised to hear him speak. Until now, I’d been doing all of the arguing. I was beginning to fear that I was the only one not thrilled with this plan. “You’re not the same as us. You aren’t even a warrior. You’re an angel. You love everyone. You want to love everyone. What if Grace and I can’t—what if we accept this and nothing changes? What if we have to live inside each other’s heads and…”
“And have to know exactly what we think of each other?” I asked dryly when Ethan couldn’t finish his thought. “Don’t worry, Ethan. I already have a pretty good idea what you think of me.”
Ethan glared at me and then gave his father a distressed look.
“I understand what you both fear, but it won’t be that way,” Michael promised.
“But how do you know?” Ethan asked.