by Abra Ebner
“So where have you been?” Scott’s voice finally cut the awkward silence as I backed myself against the window sill.
“Well I had to leave you know, things were getting complicated.” I looked down at my nervous hands, willing them to quit shaking.
Scott chuckled slightly, “Professor Edgar, wasn’t it?”
I winced at the name, “Er…” I fought for the will to come up with another reason, but I couldn’t find one, “Yeah.”
A whole hearted laugh erupted from Scott and he had to work hard to calm himself, “Have you seen him yet?”
I snorted, “I guess you could say that.”
Sarah snickered to herself, afraid to offend me, “I think you two would make a cute couple.”
I pinched myself to keep the rude comments from leaving my mouth, raising my eyebrows in acknowledgement instead. “Yeah, that’s funny,” I snorted again.
“So then you’re back?” Scott’s voice sounded excited.
I shrugged, “I suppose you can say that.”
They both looked at me with confused expressions.
My smile sunk to a frown and I knew I couldn’t lie anymore. “Hey listen,” I paused as I pushed myself away from the window, “If I told you something, would you try to believe me?”
Sarah and Scott looked at each other as though they knew what was coming next, as though they had speculated over me for some time now, “Yeah sure Elle, you’re one of our best friends.”
I smiled at the words, “Thanks.”
Scott took one step toward me, “What’s on your mind?”
“Well, I want to tell you what really happened. But I need you guys to brutally understand, you must believe me, I need you to believe me.”
Scott looked far too intrigued, as though he’d been waiting months for something exciting to happen in his small world.
“Sit down,” I motioned both of them to my old bed, their bed.
As they settled in, I took a deep breath, formulating where to start. “So Scott, do you remember when I first met you, I said I had a thing with nature, and you appropriately deemed me ‘Mother Nature’?” I smiled at the title, finding it still as absurd, but true.
He shrugged, his eyes narrowing at me, “Yeah.” He paused as he rolled something around in his memory, “I’ve been meaning to ask you about that.” He brought one finger up to his cheek, his attempt at thinking hurting my own head.
I laughed, “Yeah well your assumptions are probably true, so let’s go with that.”
His eyebrows shot up in amazement, “So the grass…”
“Yes,” I cut him off. “But it’s not just that. Edgar was an important player in it too, very important,” my voice trailed off.
Both their mouths hung open in amazement as I continued. “I’m not human, so to speak.” I winced, my face crinkling up as I anticipated their reactions. I let out a sharp exhale as I struggled to say the right words, to say what my mind wanted to.
Scott gave me a blank stare while Sarah seemed to react to the fact, making a point to understand. “What do you mean?” Sarah’s sharp confused voice rang like a bell in my ears.
“So, okay,” I began to pace the room. “Scott, you remember when I got that really deep cut and there was all that blood and it would have probably taken weeks, if not months before it would really heal?”
Scott nodded.
“Okay, well you remember, I was completely healed the next day. My body is not like yours.” I didn’t look at them as I said this. I just needed to get it all out. “I am over a thousand years old, and so is Edgar. We are different from you, but somehow the same. We are a hybrid of your kind, created after you, but a better model. Think of it like a car.” I paused to take a deep breath. “Edgar and I were made by the gods in pairs,” I winced again, knowing how ridiculous this all sounded, “I guess you could say that Edgar and I are Soul-Mates. Much like you two,” I gave them both a sweet smile, hoping that if I related somehow, they would try harder to understand.
Looking back to my feet as I paced I continued, “We were punished for being too perfect, too beautiful. And our bodies were forced apart, forced to Earth like pawns in a giant game of chess.” I heard a soft snort come from Scott, and my eyes met his, blazing as I kept a straight face, “I’m not joking.”
His face went cold as though I’d dunked him in an ice bath and I knew he had seen the terrifying look in my eyes, the look like Edgar’s.
“I’m not certain of my purpose here yet, but there were more of our kind. Last year, one still lived, an evil one. His name was Matthew, and he killed Edgar.” It came out of my mouth like a cold wind, filling the air with thick doom.
“But…” Scott was shaking his head, “But professor is here, he’s not dead.”
“That’s not him,” my voice was blunt as though still trying to convince myself that he was not real. “That’s just his ghost, of sorts. If you were so bold to touch him, you would see what I mean.”
Scott gave me a grave nod, “Yeah I’ve seen it, someone tried to touch him last spring, or rather punch him,” he smirked, “But it was strange. We’ve all been trying to figure it out.”
I glared at him, “This is a secret between us three though, got it?”
I must have had a terrifying look on my face because he immediately nodded; his eyes wide and his body scared stiff.
“He died protecting me. So I guess you could say you were right about the whole Edgar and me thing. I did love him.” I looked at them, content enough with what I’d told them.
“So…” Scott looked thoroughly confused, “So then what are you?”
I crinkled my brow. Even I didn’t know exactly what I was. “A witch,” I replied. It was the only thing that really made sense in the human language. It still sounded corny saying it, but it worked.
Scott and Sarah both raised their eyebrows, agreeing in unison, their confusion somehow resolved. I had expected them to act a little more horrified about the whole situation, but here they were, just fine with the whole thing, or at least seemingly so. But that had always been Scott’s style, somehow unfazed and strangely accepting.
“Cool,” he chortled. “We know a witch.” He gently hit Sarah on the shoulder with the back of his hand.
Sarah nodded, “Now I’m even plainer than before.” She began to pout.
I rolled my eyes while they exchanged a sickening moment of baby talk and cooing. I only hoped Edgar and I hadn’t been so irritating, but then again we were always alone so I guess it didn’t matter.
Scott’s voice seized, his gaze falling back on me as I stood with my arms knotted across my chest.
“So wait, you live here? Where?” The look on his face was innocent, but something about it made me feel ashamed as though living here was a horrible thing.
“In the woods,” I replied frankly. I was prepared to answer with truth and dignity.
“Cool! So like, you live in a cave or something?” he was smiling now.
I snorted, “Hardly, I’ll show you some day.” I gave him a wink.
He nodded.
Sarah had a sweet smile on her face, “So can you do anything cool? Besides this plant thing Scott told me about?”
I saw Scott blush. He must have discussed the matter with her in his frustration.
I crinkled my nose, “Oh yeah, I can do this one really cool thing, but I’m sort of new at it.”
“Do it!” Sarah squealed, clapping her hands like a child.
I couldn’t help but smile. These were my friends, true friends. I could see they would love me no matter what. I took a deep breath, “Well it’s sort of complicated, I haven’t really been able to work out all the kinks.” I narrowed my eyes, thinking of how embarrassed I was when I’d found myself completely naked.
Sarah shrugged, “That’s okay, we won’t judge.”
My chest fell as I let out a heavy breath, half a laugh escaping with it. “Okay, but I’m going to need you guys to look away at one point, got it? I won�
�t really be able to talk, so let’s say I’ll just yell at you, of sorts.”
They tilted their heads in unison, both confused, but their curiosity was too great to let it bother them so they both nodded.
“Okay. Come stand over here by the door.” I ushered them up.
They shot off the bed with such excitement that it was difficult to see them move in the distance between us, and just like that, they were right next to me.
“Stand right here,” I walked to the other side of the bed, at least figuring I would have some sort of privacy should this whole thing go horribly wrong. I remembered how amazing I had thought it was when Edgar had done this for the first time, but the best part was knowing that someday I would too. There was a certain smug pride inside me over the fact that I was finally special, finally unique in a way that wasn’t depressing.
They watched as I closed my eyes and began to concentrate as I had at the waterfall. I pictured myself falling, pictured the way the air whipped past my arms and filled me with the feeling of freedom. I put my arms out to my sides, Edgar had never been this dramatic, but then again, changing was much more natural to him because he did it all the time.
I took a deep breath, my body now feeling the air around me get thick, like water. There was a sudden and overwhelming feeling of drowning as I began to swim, and as I did so, I felt my arms push the air as my wings began to fly.
I heard unanimous gasps as I opened my sharp eyes, quickly cutting left as I nearly hit the wall behind them. Relieved that I had escaped possible injury, I soared in a tight circle back toward the bed where I landed in a soft pile of covers, my body still clumsy as they tangled around me. Struggling without the use of arms, I righted myself in a manner that was far from graceful.
Sarah was chuckling under her breath but I really couldn’t blame her. It was obvious that I was new at this and I was certain I had made a complete fool of myself.
“That’s amazing!” Scott’s eyes were larger than normal.
Sarah walked toward me, “You’re so beautiful! You’re practically glowing!” She couldn’t resist ruffling the feathers on my head.
As she continued to scratch I fought back the urge to snap at her, giving in to the undeniable fact that being loved like a pet felt good. It wasn’t until Sarah started clucking at me that I finally broke away from her, finding things had gone too far. Scott was still staring; his undeniable fascination with me even stronger than it ever had been in hatchery class.
Twisting my head to the side, I tugged one feather from under my wing, severing it from my body and dropping it to the bed before turning back and letting out a shrill ‘caw,’ warning them to look away while I attempted to change back. They both turned and dutifully faced the wall.
I jumped in place as I fanned out the feathers on my wings and then shook as though shrugging off a coat. Before I knew it I was sprawled across half the bed, the rest of my body scraping across the floor. I had managed to keep most of my undergarments intact, but there was still an unfortunate pile of clothes that was sprawled behind the bed.
I fumbled with my jeans and t-shirt, thankful that it was summer and I didn’t have much fabric to fight with. My cheeks were flushed as I finally cleared my throat and they both turned back around. Their expressions were still enchanted by what they had seen, enchanted by me, and I felt smug.
“So I suppose you’re really not lying about what you said, you really are a witch.” Scott was smiling.
I laughed, “Yeah, its still sort of unbelievable, but I guess I’ll get used to it. You see, I don’t remember my life before, only my life for the past eighteen, or I suppose nineteen years. But I will always look like I do now, forever.”
Sarah’s eyes went wide, “You are so lucky.”
I snorted, “I don’t know if I would consider that lucky, I have to watch all the people around me die,” I paused, thinking of Sam, “Or at least most of them.”
They didn’t even flinch at my comment. “So Edgar is dead? But I thought you were supposed to live forever?”
I shrugged, “In theory, I don’t really have a medical manual or history book about my kind, everything is a mystery. But right now, Edgar is dead, and I don’t think he’s coming back. No one else ever has, just me.”
Scott pressed his brows together, “So then it makes sense that you’re here for a reason. Someone brought you back to do something.”
I nodded, “I think you’re right. And these are the things I need to find out.”
“Can we help?” Scott gave me an anxious look.
My gaze flitted from Sarah’s face to his. I didn’t intend to drag anyone else into my grief, or my obsession.
“Please?” Sarah pleaded. I saw her curiosity spread throughout her body like a disease.
I couldn’t let them down. I’d probably been the most exciting thing they’d seen all year. Their classes taught subjects that were predictable, about things that had already been scientifically examined down to every chromosome. I, on the other hand, was still a mystery. The feather I had plucked still lay on the bed and I reached to pick it up.
“Here,” I handed the feather to them, “Be careful with it, it’s sharp. But maybe you could look into it, see what I’m made of.”
Scott’s face lit up and he smiled. The truth was I really didn’t think it was safe to involve them beyond finding out my science. If I ever lost them, or put them in harm’s way, I knew I could never forgive myself and forever is a long time to feel guilty about it. It still amazed me that they were so accepting, but I hadn’t really expected anything less. This was how they had always been.
My eyes flitted across the room, my mind remembering the space as though it was a distant memory, a life that had only been lived in a dream and each element somehow fuzzy and clotted. For the most part everything was the same, except better lived. The small kitchen was a mess and I noticed a box of Twinkies was hidden behind the toaster.
A smile crept across my face as I remembered my past and a tear formed in my eye. I had dreamed of a day then, a day when I would finally find peace. Though this feeling of completion continues to leave me with an empty heart, it’s the journey I shall never forget. From my humbled beginnings to now, from the many lost mothers I’ve had and the one that never existed, I will always deem myself as lucky.
A feeling of realization crept over me as I continued to take in the memories of my past I remembered that there was one thing I had left behind, something big and something now useless to me. I walked to the kitchenette where I knelt down beside the small fridge. I reached my hand into the tight gap between the cabinet and fished out the thick envelope Heidi had given me the day I had left my foster home. As I stood, I twisted the envelope in my grasp and blew off the dust, my hands grazing across the dents where Heidi had once held it with love and pride.
“Wow, what’s that?” Sarah’s voice came from across the room.
I turned to look at her with happy eyes, her face still bewildered from the events of the day. I placed one hand on my knee and pressed myself up off the floor and approached her. “Here, a wedding gift,” I smiled.
Sarah’s eyes grew confused as she let out a small giggle, “You kept it here? But how did you know?”
I laughed, finding her statement innocent and sweet.
I pressed it toward her as she gingerly took the envelope from my hands, her lips parted as she breathed, “What is it?”
A sharp breath escaped my lips, “Actually, I’m really not sure. I never looked myself. But I know now, it was always meant for you.”
She smiled and her eyes came alive with an awareness of life, “Thanks.”
Scott eyed the envelope with a strange recognition, knowing the contents were something far to striking to believe. We stood there for a moment and I realized they were both too polite to open it in front of me. It was no matter. Though I never knew what the envelope contained, it was no longer mine to know at this point. Either way its secrets could do little change m
y life in the way Heidi had hoped, because my life had already done so. I knew that had she known of this passing of the gift, she would only be proud of me for finding someone I care enough about to trust with it.
I swallowed hard, “Well I should probably get going, but I’ll be back soon.” I walked into both their arms as they wrapped me in a hug, “In the mean time, look into that feather.” I stepped back and patted them both on the shoulder. Scott winced away from my touch as I patted him a bit too hard.
“Your secret is safe with us.” Sarah smiled, “It’s so cool! You’re a witch!” she was jumping up and down, clapping her hands.
I winced, the title still growing on me. “Thanks. I just had to tell someone, and I promise there’s still much more to show you.” And with that I winked and walked out the door.
DUST
I trudged my way back up the hill as I heard the undeniable screech of excitement erupt from the cabin. I knew it was either the fact that they had opened the envelope I had handed them, or that they were truly that excited about my existence. As I stepped one foot into the shelter of the trees, Sam’s voice was suddenly right next to me.
I jumped and grabbed my chest, giving him an evil glare.
“Why did you do that? Don’t you know they’re human?” he was panting as though he had just run a long distance.
“Do what?” My voice was innocent, as though I had no idea what he was talking about.
“You just outed yourself to the weakest minds in the world! You can’t trust that they won’t tell anyone. If this gets out, there will be a witch hunt.” His voice got low and was full of doom.
“Oh seriously Sam, this isn’t the 1800’s. If they told anyone it’s more likely they’d be carted off to the psyche ward than start a witch hunt.” I laughed under my breath.
He threw his hands in the air, unable to accept why I’d open up to a human.
I glared at him deeper, “You know what the difference between you and me is?”
Sam shook his head.
“I actually posses the hope to trust someone, where you deny any sort of friendship or love.” I swatted at a fly that had landed on my arm.