Adam kissed Anna’s cheek, reveling in the scent of the sleepy child. “I have to be away for a few days. Uncle Jared and Aunt Jennie are going to take very good care of you until I get back.”
Anna squirmed out of her uncle’s arms and dashed to Calista, pulling on her arm until she knelt. Anna cupped her hands over Calista’s ear and whispered something.
Calista leaned back and stared. “Are you sure?”
Anna nodded.
“Is Anna speaking?” Jared asked him.
“Just to Calista. She hasn’t said a word inside my head since we were at Emil’s.”
Anna wrapped Calista in a tight hug, then strolled to Jared. He took her hand and said, “We’ll give you a moment alone with Calista.” He turned and entered the terminal.
Adam studied her for several moments in awkward silence before he spoke. “I’ll be back.”
“I know.”
He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, then cupped her jaw. “And I’m hoping maybe we could go out for an evening, have a meal, maybe see a movie.”
“That would have been a better place to begin.”
Adam leaned in and caressed her bottom lip with his, wishing he had the time to explore what being near her was doing to him. “I don’t know what to say to you. Good-bye seems so final.”
“How about I’ll see you in a bit.”
He chuckled and drew her against him. Part of him wanted to wrap his arms around her and take her with him, but his good sense took over. She was so much better-off with his brothers. He curled his hand around the back of her neck and brought her lips back to his. One more taste to keep him going.
“See you in a bit, Calista.” With a final wave, he entered the cabin of the jet.
He dropped into the same seat. The steward approached with a bottle of water.
“The pilot said we can take off anytime.”
Adam didn’t bother glancing up. “Now.”
“Very well. Would you like a drink first?”
“Bourbon, and leave the bottle.”
The engines of the plane hummed as the slick aircraft moved into position. A glass of amber liquor came into view. He reached for the short, round glass and froze.
“Hi, again,” Calista said, holding the drink out to him.
“What the hell, Calista.” Adam rose. “You are not going with me!”
At least she had the decency to blush before she shrugged and said, “Anna said I needed to be with you. So here I am.”
“You can’t allow a four-year-old to tell you what to do.” Adam moved down the short hallway and banged on the cockpit door. He yanked it open and glared at the pilot. “Turn around. We’re returning to the terminal.” Then he held a hand out to Calista. “You are not coming with me. That’s final.”
“Annija said I needed to be with you. Are you seriously going to argue with your mother?”
The pilot interrupted. “Sir, what’s it going to be? We have the okay.”
Adam glanced at the pilot first, then at Calista. His heartbeat roared between his ears. He wanted her there with him—he could admit that—but could he keep her safe?
Without taking time to second-guess himself, he slammed the cockpit door shut and pulled her into his arms. She just fit him so damn perfectly. And then she kissed him, a mixture of mind-blowing fear and sensual excitement roiled through him. Before Calista’s overpowering essences took over, he broke away and charged to his seat. Dropping down, he hooked his seatbelt in place.
Calista eased into the seat facing Adam. She buckled her seatbelt and folded her arms around her middle. “So, where are we going?”
“Home.”
“Where is home?”
“California.”
He scooted lower into his seat and stretched out his legs in the seat next to Calista. He tilted his head to the side and closed his eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was say something that would hurt her, and that he couldn’t take back.
Of course, if he were completely honest, he would admit he was angrier with himself. He should have been man enough to carry her petite, sexy-as-hell little body down the stairs, and dump her into the backseat of Jared’s truck. She had no business in his nightmare.
The plane taxied onto the runway. It took only minutes before the engines roared to life. Calista’s hands clutched hold of the armrest as if for dear life, as she gazed out the window.
“Calista.”
She turned away from the window.
“Unlatch your seatbelt and get over here,” he said, holding out his hand.
“I’ve never been a fan of take-offs. But I’m good.”
“Look, if you are going to live through the next few hours, you need to follow my orders without question. If I tell you to sit, you sit. If I tell you to run, you damn well better run like hell, no looking back. No questions. Got it?”
“Yes, I got it.”
“Then unlatch your seatbelt and get over here.”
Surprisingly, she didn’t argue. In seconds, she was sitting next to him, her grip almost cutting off the circulation in his left hand. Again, he leaned his head against the cushion headrest and allowed his tired eyes to close as the plane took off.
A comfortable silence settled in the cabin. Calista rested her head on his shoulder. Unable to stop himself, he placed his arm around her and drew her tightly against him, before he said, “If anything happens to you, I’ll never forgive you… or myself. You got that?”
“Got it.”
Seventeen
The arch-shaped French door stood wide open onto the tile deck overlooking the Pacific Ocean. A light wind blew across the sand, perfuming the air with a salty aroma. Waves broke gently on the shore, sending up sprays of seawater over the rocks. Calista took in a deep breath and allowed the calm of the ocean to drain away the tension in her shoulders and lower back.
Adam stood motionless in the shadows off the patio, his gaze fixated on the horizon where the ocean met the black sky. Nothing about his stance was approachable.
She stepped into the master bedroom. It was breathtaking with its vaulted light-stained oak beam ceiling and a mixture of whitewash stain and painted walls. Soft blue and green accents added to the artfully arranged room.
Calista couldn’t imagine Adam sprawled out, relaxing on the massive king-sized bed in the middle of the room. The bed was staged, not a place that screamed comfort and a good night’s sleep. In fact, the beach house ―with no photos, mementos―held nothing of the man she was beginning to know. The entire space was a showpiece, not a home. And Adam didn’t fit here anymore than she did.
Now his back was to her, his attention on the floor-to-ceiling window, and his silence, a thick, impenetrable wall. He closed himself off from her the moment he woke from a deep sleep on the plane. She could count on two hands the number of words they had shared since then.
After the plane landed in LAX, Adam pulled a key from his pocket and opened the trunk of the only sedan parked in the private lot. They drove in silence for more than an hour to a house that sat high in the hills overlooking the ocean.
Calista’s heart hurt for the man who stood alone, staring out into the night. From the moment Anna first screamed in his head, he wanted one thing: to keep the people in his world safe. Instead of respecting that, she had shoved herself right smack in the middle of it. She didn’t doubt that Adam was more than capable of protecting her from Ludis. What she never gave a thought in West Virginia was the length he would go to keep her safe.
Why in the hell did she get back on that damn plane? Had she completely lost her mind? Anna was a remarkable child, but she was just a child. Adam had every right to be angry.
Acting compulsively wasn’t Calista style, especially since Hanna’s attack. She kept her world small and safe. What she should have done was allow Adam to place her in a safe house from the very beginning. Instead, she’d thrown caution to the wind and held on tightly to a scared four-year-old.
On the other han
d, there was only one way that Anna could have known about the secret passage. Emil didn’t tell her, so the only explanation was some freakin’ crazy supernatural thing Calista couldn’t begin to understand. If Calista dared tell Adam what Anna whispered in her ear right before the plane took off, he would lock her up and throw away the key.
He was a trained fighter. Calista had never seen anyone move like him. She, on the other hand, moved back in with her grandfather for the last year-and-a-half, too frightened to live alone. How in the hell was she supposed to keep Adam safe and bring him back to Anna?
Adam turned and strolled toward the door with his hands in his pockets. Once inside, he crossed the room and emptied his pockets into a small dish sitting on a bedside table. He removed his weapon from his shoulder harness, released the clip, and placed them in the top drawer.
His methodical movements indicated that she was watching a nightly ritual. Last week, her most involved thought regarding Adam Blake was where he went when he left the diner. Now, she was sharing a bedroom with him.
“You must be exhausted,” he said. He looked over at the bed. “I hope you don’t mind sharing a room. I haven’t furnished the other rooms yet. You’re welcome to the bed.”
“Where will you sleep?”
“I can sleep anywhere.”
“The bed is huge, plenty of room for both of us.”
Her own words sounded strained as she flushed with warmth. She turned from him and began to tidy up a few toiletries she’d used during her shower.
His arm circled her waist. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and eased against him, allowing his warmth and earthy scent to enfold her. Calista turned and placed her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. Before she could stop herself, she said, “I made this harder for you. I’m so sorry.”
He lowered his head and caressed her lips with his. “When I’m working something out in my head, I get quiet. I want you here with me, Calista. Please believe that.” He scanned the room. “I bought this place a few months ago. It’s the prettiest beach I have seen anywhere. I just wish I could have brought you here under different circumstances.”
“Will Ludis follow you here?”
“There is nothing that can connect me to this place. And before you ask, we were not followed.”
“Then why are you so tense?” she asked, rubbing the back of his neck and shoulders.
His stare bore into her before he answered. “My uncle will give me time to locate the disk while he searches for another link to force me to bring the disk to him.”
“The McNeils are all protected, right? You wouldn’t have left Anna with them if she weren’t safe. So, what else can Ludis threaten you with?”
Adam released his hold on her and closed the French doors, setting the lock in place. With his back still to her he said, “You and your family.”
His ramrod-straight posture sent her heart into her stomach, as her pulse raced in her veins. “But he doesn’t know who I am.”
“I have men watching the diner and your grandfather’s home.” He glanced at his watch. “After a couple hours sleep, I’ll visit the unit where I stored my parents’ belongings.”
“And if you don’t have the disk?”
“We will cross that bridge when we get to it. You said my mother is speaking to my daughter. If that’s true, there has to be a way out of this.”
Calista searched his eyes. The longing in his expression touched a place deep inside her. This new wall, fighting an untouchable evil, too damn familiar. How did she shield Adam from what he faced? Ludis couldn’t win.
“In the end, the good guys always came out on top, right?
He shrugged.
“Just tell me what I can do for you,” she whispered.
“Don’t die. It will kill the last bit of humanity in me, Calista. I will turn into what I hate about Ludis.”
She crossed the room and allowed her fingers to caress the soft stubble down the side of his face to his jaw. “You have more humanity in one fingertip than most men have in their entire bodies. There is so much good in you. Why don’t you see it?”
“You don’t know me.”
“That’s true, but I know a good part of you, probably more than you shared in a long time.” She wadded a chunk of his shirt in her fist. “You did what you had to do to protect your daughter and yourself from Ludis, but that’s not who you are.”
Adam took her into his arms and pulled her against his chest. “Then who am I? What do you see in me? Why did you get back on the damn plane?”
Calista couldn’t form a thought, much less articulate what had to be said. Adam’s life was hell, and he allowed that hell to define him. He didn’t believe he deserved love.
“I got back on the plane to remind you that you had something to live for.” Her lips caressed his, drawing him so close that their bodies became one.
He didn’t just return the kiss, he consumed her. When her knees buckled, he lifted her so they were eye-to-eye. His other hand tangled in the hair at her neck.
God, she needed him, all of him.
Adam drew Calista’s legs into his arms and laid her gently on the bed, lowering himself next to her. Breaking the kiss, he studied her for several moments before he spoke.
“You play dirty, Calista Martin.”
“At the rectory, you were ready to hand over your life to take down Emil and Ludis. I didn’t know what to say to stop you, because I’m totally out of my league.”
“That’s not what I…”
“You practically signed your own death certificate. Since then, I have had time to muck it around in my brain. I can’t stop you from going after Ludis by yourself, but I can give you something to live for.”
“You can do so much better…”
She held her finger over his lips. She couldn’t keep the whimper from escaping her throat when he moved his mouth over her finger and sucked.
His cobalt eyes swept over her. “What do you want from me?”
“Tonight.”
He rose onto his elbow and his hungry stare gripped hold of her heart. Heat began to rise up her neck and into her cheeks.
“You are not some sacrificial pieces of meat on a stick, Calista. If all you want is sex…”
Calista cut his tirade with another kiss. He dropped onto the mattress, pulling her over him as he cradled her head in his hand. As always, the damn man took over, driving her into a sensual whirlpool. She forced herself to break the kiss.
“Idiot! How can such an intelligent man be so stupid? I’m not bargaining with sex to keep you alive.” She balled her hand and punched him in the shoulder.
He grabbed her hand in his. “That hurt.”
“Good. Next time you say something so damn asinine, I’ll break something hard over your stubborn, obstinate head.”
He let out a laugh and kissed her hard. “Your eyes are damn beautiful when you’re spitting fire.”
She sucked in a breath and tried to control her temper. He hadn’t seen anything yet. Just wait until he pissed her off enough that her blood boiled. She brushed her hair from her face and exhaled as she counted heartbeats. When they slowed enough for her brain to recharge, she asked, “Why is it so wrong for me to care about you?
“I’m not the man for you, Calista.”
She reached out to punch him again, but he caught her fist in his hands and brought it to his chest, kissing the knuckles.
“If you knew the things I have done―I will tarnish your life, turning it into the mess I live.”
“Are you talking about Rina?”
He nodded.
“Will you tell me about you and Rina?”
“Now? Here?”
Calista shrugged. She expected Adam to move off the bed and slide the walls back in place, shutting her out. But instead, he leaned on his side facing her.
“My greatest sin with Rina was that I loved her, but never was in love with her. She was my friend, my partner in the fiel
d, saved my ass more times than I can count, and was the only person who knew all my shit and loved me anyway.”
Adam turned onto his back, resting his head on the pillows. He didn’t say anything for a long time.
“And?”
Adam turned his head and held her gaze. “I broke her heart.”
That was it, nothing more, no explanation. Calista wanted to shove him, poke him, do something to make him start talking again. Waiting as long as she could stand, she said, “Please, don’t stop there.”
“Our new lives gave us a chance to start over, be new people. Rina wanted the whole picket fence, marriage, happily-ever-after.”
“You said you loved her. Why couldn’t that work? You, Rina, and Anna could have …”
“Because it wasn’t what I wanted, Calista. I’m a selfish bastard, don’t you see? I loved Rina, loved Anna more than I ever knew a person could love another, but I wanted justice—revenge—more than love.”
“I don’t understand.”
“We had a chance to get out of the violent cycle, but I couldn’t let go. Emil and Ludis Vasnev were still out there, living high on the hog from the misery of so many.”
“But you no longer had the CIA behind you, nor any law enforcement agency to back you up. How could you…”
“It was what I had spent the last decade training to do. One man, without the confines of government bureaucracy, can be lethal on his own. I went after the Vasnevs with a vengeance.”
“And Rina?”
Adam shifted until his back was against the headboard. The stillness made Calista want to fidget, but she remained calm. When he finally spoke, his voice filled the quiet space with fresh, overwhelming grief.
“Rina loved me so much, she gave up her life to protect our child, even though she knew I could never be the man she needed. Before Anna, I agreed to leave her alone, give her a chance to find the kind of love she deserved. But hours after Anna was born, I had to see my only child just once. Biggest mistake I ever made.”
“That wasn’t a mistake.”
“If I never went to that hospital nursery, I never would have known what I was missing. The first time I fell head-over-heels in love was with an infant that weighed all of seven pounds. Anna changed my world, changed my soul.” His pain-filled eyes held hers. “If I had walked away and left them alone like I promised, Rina would be alive, probably married to a good man, raising our child in a wonderful, loving world free of people like Emil, Ludis… and me.”
In the Shadow of Malice Book 3 Page 14