by Lynne Graham
‘I didn’t use a condom,’ Jax groaned in her ear as he slowly lowered her back to her own feet. ‘Is that likely to be a problem?’
‘Hopefully not,’ Lucy muttered after doing some quick calculations and without looking directly at him as she stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. ‘It’s the wrong time of the month.’
What had he meant by that question? Was he asking her if she was willing to get pregnant again? Or was he worrying that she would conceive? And for that matter, was she willing to take that risk? Lucy thought not. She had not had an easy pregnancy the first time around and was not in a hurry to do it again, particularly when she did not yet feel secure with Jax. Even so, if she did conceive she would still welcome and love her baby.
But then what would it take for her to feel truly secure with Jax? she asked herself. Perhaps she was her own worst enemy and had quite unrealistic expectations of a marriage in which only one of them loved. She might not like the reality but their relationship was bound to be unbalanced with one of them wanting and hoping for more than the other.
*
‘Did you know that the contents of that file were a complete fiction?’
‘What do you want me to tell you?’ Heracles slapped the file on Lucy back onto his desk and sighed heavily. ‘I will not lie. I did what I felt I had to do.’
Sharply disconcerted, Jax tensed even more, anger roaring through his tall, powerful frame because he had somehow expected the older man to try and evade his very direct question. ‘Why did you think you had to do anything? Why did you even think that it was your place to interfere? It wasn’t as though I was talking about marrying her—’
‘Jax…in the space of two weeks, you flew back to Spain five times to see her,’ Heracles traded defiantly. ‘That was enough for me to view her as a serious contender for something and when I discovered that she was the daughter of Kreon Thiarkis, well, to be really blunt…that was that. Thiarkis is a slippery customer, always has been, always will be and I will not apologise for not wanting a criminal’s daughter involved with my family.’
‘I know Kreon’s history,’ Jax interposed harshly. ‘I know what he is and I can understand your concern but I was twenty-six years old, not a teenager, and you had no right to interfere.’
The older man stood his ground. ‘I know I had no right but I didn’t care. Years ago I watched Thiarkis charm my deluded first wife into paying for his legal representation in court when he was charged with fraud—’
‘Two years ago, Lucy hadn’t even met her father,’ Jax pointed out rawly. ‘What I had with her was our business alone, nothing to do with your ongoing distaste for Thiarkis. And far be it from me to say a word in Kreon’s defence but for over thirty years he held onto a letter that would have made his fortune had he sold it to the press…’
Jax settled the letter Lucy had given him down on the desk. ‘Your first wife confessed her sins on paper during her last days.’
His father turned grey before his eyes and dropped down suddenly into his office chair, studying the letter as if it were a cobra likely to strike out at him. ‘Sofia was never discreet,’ he muttered heavily. ‘Are you telling me I have to thank Thiarkis for his restraint?’
‘No,’ Jax breathed in a driven undertone, having decided not to reveal the secret of Kreon’s blackmail. ‘But it’s time you came to terms with the fact that he is Lucy’s father and stopped visiting your experiences and your resentments on my life. I’m not Argo—’
‘I know you’re not,’ Heracles acknowledged grimly. ‘Argo always did as he was told and you won’t, which is why I went behind your back in the first place. I assumed she would be wrong for you.’
‘She’s not,’ Jax bit out curtly. ‘But because of that file I treated her badly and now I have to tell her why.’
Heracles compressed his lips in disapproval. ‘Do you? I don’t think that’s a good idea. A wise man shares nothing with his wife but a bed.’
‘Three wives and you still don’t know better?’ Jax derided with seething bite. ‘Well, I do know better and I will not tolerate your meddling in my life. If you ever do anything like this again, I’m out.’
‘You can’t mean that,’ Heracles breathed in consternation.
‘I do. Blood counts but family counts more and you were out of my life for too many years to be considered family in the same way that I consider my wife and my daughter. They come first…always.’
Simmering with angry frustration, Jax sat in his limo in the heavy Athens traffic mulling over that confrontation. Heracles had finally apologised and at least his father had at last told him the truth. Jax hated secrets. He had grown up in an atmosphere of secrecy, continually urged never to tell anyone that his mother was ‘ill’, pregnant or involved with a man. As a boy, he had reacted to those warnings by deciding to never tell anyone at school that the famous Spanish movie star was his mother. It had been a rather pathetic ploy considering that the name Antonakos was too well known and just about everyone who was anyone knew his father had divorced Mariana for having an affair with one of her co-stars. But the practice of keeping his thoughts and feelings and personal details strictly private had been taught to him when he was very young and had become a habit he couldn’t shake…until he’d met Lucy and told her things he had never told anyone before.
And if he was honest that experience had totally unnerved him two years earlier. He had seen that he was veering into dangerous territory and had feared getting too involved with a woman again. Feared? No, obviously he had been in no hurry to admit that to himself. His mother had been frighteningly volatile, constantly ranging between high and low moods while using drugs as a crutch to get her through the day. Freed by Mariana’s death from the powerful conviction that it was his responsibility to look after her, Jax had decided that emotion was a weakness and that a sensible man steered clear of it. Most of the time that had worked very well for him.
Until he’d met Lucy…
Until he’d met Bella…
Jax poured himself a stiff drink and drank it down. He had to tell Lucy. How could he not tell her? He reminded himself that she had married him even after what he had done in Spain. He reminded himself that she seemed happy. He didn’t have to love her to make her happy. Hadn’t he already proved that? Together they had the fathers from hell. Not her fault, not his fault either. He would give her the facts. She would be angry and hurt but she would forgive him. Jax knew he wasn’t the forgiving type but he was convinced from recent experience that Lucy was. They had signed up to be a family for Bella’s benefit. And that would be Lucy’s bottom line because more than anything else, Jax reminded himself doggedly, after a life of turmoil Lucy craved security.
And he offered security, he offered a lot of security, he reflected with growing assurance. But it still really bothered him that she wasn’t clingier and more open with him. The Lucy he remembered in Spain had been distinctly needy and clingy and, although he ran a mile from that trait in other women, for some reason he had liked that attribute in Lucy as much as he had liked her once flaky tell-all chatter. He had liked it when he was the first person she looked for in a room, when he was the only one she really smiled at or noticed, when she wrapped herself round him all night as though she was afraid he might attempt an escape. He had liked being told that he was loved even if in the end it had all turned out to be a lie.
But she didn’t do those things any more even though he wanted her to. She was wary. Of course she was, he conceded, struggling to be fair, so, putting the truth out there was a sensible move, he told himself squarely. He would tell her what had really happened and she would forgive him because that was what Lucy did. And what choice would she have? a more cynical voice enquired. After all, she had betrayed his trust too…
*
‘He’s treating you well?’ Kreon prompted while Iola was playing in the garden with Bella.
‘Yes,’ Lucy told her father flatly. ‘But I won’t discuss Jax with you.’
‘A wife should be loyal to her husband,’ Kreon remarked equably. ‘I simply wanted you to be happy—’
‘I can only be happy with a man who is happy to be with me,’ Lucy countered drily, resisting the urge to remind him that he hadn’t thought of that angle.
But with Jax being the very practical but reserved male that he was, he was more likely to make the best of a bad job than try to wriggle out of the commitment, particularly when his daughter was involved. Lucy showered and changed while telling herself that she had absolutely nothing to complain about. Whatever else, she was married to the love of her life. There was nothing she could do about the fact that she had only gained a wedding ring through her father’s dirty tricks. But she knew that somewhere in the back of Jax’s astute brain he would probably always associate her with her father’s treachery and would never quite forgive her for his lack of choice and loss of freedom.
‘He gave in to me very easily. That is not an Antonakos trait,’ Kreon argued.
‘Obviously he cares about his father.’
‘I believe he cares more about you.’
Unconvinced by that startling claim, Lucy returned to the city villa with nerves run ragged by the strain of pretending for Iola’s benefit that everything was fine between her father and her. She had been surprised that Jax hadn’t objected to her visiting Kreon and Iola and then relieved because her father was still her father even though he was imperfect. Imperfect? Manipulative, sneaky, quick to jump on a golden opportunity even if it entailed blackmail, Lucy’s brain added unhappily. But until she had met her father and learned about the existence of her sisters, she had believed that her father was her only living relative and his support and acceptance had meant a great deal to her. That he was capable of going to such lengths to secure a very rich husband for her still devastated her because of course it had to make a difference to her marriage and the light in which Jax saw her.
If Kreon hadn’t interfered, who knew what might have happened? All right, they would clearly not have got married, she allowed ruefully, but at least Jax wouldn’t have felt forced into doing something he didn’t want to do.
Lucy had only just finished drying her hair when Jax strode into the bedroom. He paused for a second, appreciating the sight of her small slender figure in a summery blue dress, tumbling ringlets framing her piquant face. ‘You look ridiculously pretty,’ he heard himself say stiltedly, and he almost winced at that ill-timed opener because he had come upstairs to give her the investigation file.
Lucy angled her head to one side and gave him a questioning look. ‘You never pay me compliments. What’s wrong?’
He had called her pretty, not beautiful, and she was more than happy with that, well aware that her looks weren’t on the beauty level. In marrying Jax, she had boxed above her weight because he was the beautiful one in their relationship, standing there in his exquisitely tailored silver-grey suit, his stunning bone structure accentuated by a shadow of black stubble, gorgeous green eyes glittering like stars in his lean bronzed face.
‘Never?’ Jax was taken aback by her claim, only belatedly recognising that she was right. He thought such things but he very rarely voiced them out loud. ‘I have something for you to read.’
He looked so very serious that Lucy’s heart gave a sudden lurch inside her chest. ‘OK,’ she said apprehensively.
He extended the file. ‘My father sent this to me two years ago in Spain. It’s why I didn’t turn up that last night.’
Lucy grasped the slim file and sank down heavily on the foot of the bed. ‘Your father?’ she queried with a bemused frown.
‘He had discovered who your father was and apparently he was determined to break us up,’ Jax explained flatly. ‘The file is filled with what I now know to be lies about you.’
Lucy lowered her shaken gaze to the file, thoroughly off balanced by what he was revealing because it was coming at her out of nowhere. Suddenly he was talking about what had happened in Spain and admitting that he hadn’t ditched her simply because he had got bored. ‘You now know…?’ she questioned with an uncertain questioning glance.
‘I had my own investigation carried out,’ he admitted smoothly.
And Lucy was even more shaken at the enormous amount of stuff that Jax had been hiding from her, not to mention the lowering reality of just how much his father had not wanted her in his family. She swallowed hard and, breathing in bracingly, she opened the file and straight away she could not credit what she was reading. It was a seriously exaggerated character assassination in print, from the outrageous allegation that she had convictions for drug dealing and soliciting sex to the fact that her age was quoted as being twenty-five.
‘But how could you possibly have believed any of this?’ she heard herself whisper with incredulous emphasis.
‘It was in the early stages of my new relationship with my father and I trusted him. I had no reason to be suspicious of his motives because I had no knowledge of his acquaintance with your father or his dislike of him,’ he pointed out flatly.
Lucy shook her head very slowly, an almost dazed light in her luminous blue eyes as she focussed on him. ‘You misunderstood my question. I’m not asking why you believed your father but how on earth you could believe that kind of nonsense about me? Soliciting sex? I was a virgin when we met!’ she reminded him with sudden resentful heat. ‘And you knew that!’
Jax compressed his lips, wearing the aspect of a male who would have liked to be anywhere but where he was at that moment. He shifted his feet uneasily. ‘A woman can fool a man over stuff like that. She can pretend,’ he began uncomfortably.
‘Then you must have assumed my acting ability rivalled your mother’s!’ Lucy slotted in a little shakily because anger was rising now to cut through the shock of what she was learning. ‘I just don’t know what to say about all this…stuff!’ she selected jaggedly, tossing the file down on the floor in disgust. ‘I thought you knew me—’
‘I thought I knew you too until I read that file,’ Jax admitted curtly. ‘But I had no good reason then to suspect my father of setting me up.’
‘So, you’re telling me then that he was responsible for me losing my job?’
‘I didn’t go into that with him… I was far too angry,’ Jax confessed. ‘But it’s probable that he was responsible for that and for the manner in which you were treated as you were put off the yacht. If I had stayed long enough to get into that kind of detail I probably would have hit him…’
‘Oh…’ Lucy was a long way from forgiving him for having had so little faith in her but she was certainly mollified by that little speech.
‘You were pregnant,’ Jax pointed out, still stuck on that offence with an anger she could see making his lean, darkly handsome features rigid. ‘You could have been seriously hurt. He could have killed his own grandchild…we could have lost Bella!’
Lucy warmed up to him a little more in response to that additional really quite emotional exclamation. Jax had only known her for six weeks in Spain. Six weeks and a handful of dates. They had finally become intimate during the final two weeks of that time frame. Why would he have distrusted his father? The father then riding high on the wave of finally deciding to accept and welcome the younger son he had once ignored?
Lucy felt that she had to be fair to Jax. After all, she had not distrusted Kreon when she first came to Greece, had she? It occurred to her that Jax was probably feeling much as she had felt on their wedding day, angry and hurt and defensive while wondering how someone he cared about and respected could have done such a thing to him.
‘I think the very least you could have done was speak to me about the file and give me the chance to answer those allegations,’ Lucy told him firmly. ‘There is no excuse whatsoever for you failing to tell me about that file two years ago.’
And Jax’s long, lean, powerful physique went rigid, shoulders squaring, legs straightening. ‘Actually there is…’
‘No, there’s not.’ Lucy could
understand and forgive a great deal but he could not justify his complete failure to tell her what was going on either in the past or the present. ‘You didn’t even send me a text in Spain to tell me we were finished, for goodness’ sake!’ she exclaimed.
‘I had my reasons,’ Jax breathed in a raw undertone, his eyes gleaming like polished gems.
‘Unacceptable reasons.’ Lucy refused to give way. She often gave in to Jax because he had a very forceful personality but she knew she couldn’t go through life without disagreeing with him occasionally. ‘You owed me an explanation of some kind—’
‘I owed you nothing!’ Jax shot at her with sudden derision. ‘I did come to see you the night after I received that file.’
Her brow had furrowed because she was beginning to feel a little lost in the dialogue, as though she had misinterpreted some crucial sentence. ‘You didn’t come to see me—’
‘And do you know why?’ Jax’s hands knotted into fists because he felt like a volcano about to spew lava and somewhere in the back of his mind lurked a tiny voice asking him if he really wanted to say what he was about to say. But Jax didn’t back down, had never learned how to back down. He only knew how to come out of a corner fighting and how to win. He had had a hell of a day and it wasn’t getting better the way it was supposed to, it was only getting worse and that thought did nothing to cool his temper. He had done nothing wrong with Lucy, he was, in his own opinion, the injured party. He was not a vengeful man but he would not be accused of something he wasn’t responsible for.
‘If I did, I wouldn’t be arguing with you or trying to get you to see my point of view,’ Lucy parried.