“Promised I’d go slow, promised I’d be easy, thorough.” He rubbed his nose across mine and flopped onto the bed beside me, drawing me close with one of his heavy thighs wedged between mine. “What did you do to me?”
“Memory,” I said, and finally inhaled enough air for my heart to calm and my lungs to cease their clamoring. “When the shadows find me, memory helps me push them away.”
“But those were my memories, Gianna, memories I locked away behind a wall you shouldn’t have been able to breach.” He smoothed my hair back and speared me with his brilliant gaze. “How did you find them?”
I shrugged. “I think it has something to do with the nature of the memory, maybe?”
“I think there’s more to it than that,” he said, but he let it go.
I let him take a drop more of my blood, later when we’d cooled off and talked quietly for a while. Afterward, he tucked me under his near perfect body and showed me that he was, indeed, a man of his word.
Chapter Six
It would be a lie to say it was a long night. Maybe it was more fair to say it was a trying night, this first time having to share Eric and Jason with someone else, knowingly anyway. And with the queen, no less, a vampire who could take them from me without any effort, if she chose.
We ended the night in her bed, so exhausted from our play, Lanu invited us to rest with her and Blake. Jason climbed into the middle with me and Lanu on either side. Eric curled up behind me, Blake spooned Lanu, and we fell asleep tangled up in one another under a thin sheet, the sweat and love-making still clinging to our skins.
I dreamed of my mother.
She stood in the kitchen, her back to me, stirring a fragrant marinara bubbling in a huge aluminum pot on the stove. The radio played in the background and the kitchen curtains were open, inviting in a warm spring day. The light refracted around her, casting her in a glow, like the angel she’d been and now was.
Giiiiaaaannnnnaaaaa.
Her voice called to me from the hallway. I glanced between her at the stove and the door leading into the rest of the house, puzzled, and finally put it down to the irrational rules of the dream world.
Come to me, child.
Her voice was a low whisper, sibilant and hushed. I followed it through the house, down carpeted hallways that were much longer than I remembered, into shadows writhing eerily along the once-bright walls, past blood-soaked carpeting and a woman’s handprints smeared across the floor boards.
Giiiiaaaannnnnaaaaa.
The hallway dead-ended in an arched wooden door nearly black with age, its glass knob cracked and jagged. I didn’t remember this door, was certain I’d never seen it before. An odd reluctance fluttered through me. These were my dreams, my head, my life. I was safe enough here, even among the nightmares still haunting me. They were of the past, a time long gone, and they couldn’t hurt me anymore.
But this door. I didn’t know what lay on the other side, and wasn’t sure I wanted to find out.
Open the door, child. Come to me.
My fingers formed stiff fists along my bare thighs. The doorknob turned, slowly easing around until it clicked and the door popped open a crack, hissing as fresh air whirled into the opening. A faint stench of sulfur and rot curled out. I held a hand to my nose and backed away. No, I didn’t want to go in there, didn’t want to discover what horrors could cause that odor.
I spun around and bumped into the door. I glanced over my shoulder, then to the front again, back and forth. It was in front of me and behind me, and when I checked, it was to either side of me, doors, doors, everywhere the same door, its black surface dully reflecting my fear. I extended a shaky hand to the door in front of me, the one that had replaced the hallway I’d come down.
Not that one.
I drew back sharply and whipped around, searching frantically among the many portals spread around me. Which one would lead me back? Behind which door stood my mother, cooking her Wednesday marinara, dancing along to the music streaming from the radio?
I picked one at random, held my breath against hope, and pushed it open. Air rushed past me in great gasps and wheezes, sucking me into the opening along with it. I scrambled for the doorframe and missed, and went tumbling elbows over bottom into a black void.
I tumbled and twirled for what felt like hours, falling through nothingness, the dervish carrying me with the ease of a bird holding a feather. At last, it dropped me into a ragged heap onto a cool gray floor. I heaved in a breath and willed my racing heart to calm. This was a dream. It was only a dream. Eventually I’d wake up and whatever it was my mind had conjured would be gone, and I’d be safe again, surrounded by the men who held my heart.
The floor was smooth under me, so perfectly flat, I could feel no dip or bump in its surface. It wasn’t metal. I’d spent long enough in the cage to know steel’s touch, and this wasn’t it. I stood carefully, peeking furtively about me. I was in the middle of a faint ray of light.
Aliens. Had to be.
I snorted out a nervous giggle. The sound echoed back to me, strangely muted. A shadow moved in the darkness surrounding the dim cone of light and my heart leapt into my throat. “Who’s there?”
Giiiiaaaaannnnaaaaa.
Goose bumps crept over my skin and I shivered. “Mama?”
Giiiiaaaaannnnaaaaa.
The voice sounded much closer. I turned slowly, trying to place where the sound was coming from, and caught another shift in the shadows. “Please, whoever you are, whatever it is you want, just tell me.”
A breath passed over my nape. I screamed and spun around, and found nothing. I sagged to my knees, my breaths hitching, my limbs quivering. This was so much worse than having Selena in my head, so much worse than having to relive my near-death over and over again. At least then, I knew what to expect, knew which way the narrative would flow. Here, I had no clue what was expected of me, no idea how to break free from this odd nothingness.
Stand up, child.
I glanced sharply up. Lanu stood at the farthest edge of the light’s reach. I breathed out a laugh and pushed myself into a shaky stand, bowing my head before her. “My queen.”
Here, we are merely vampires, child, not queen and subject.
I gathered my courage and met her shadowy gaze. “Where are we?”
A place where your husband cannot reach. A place known only to me and mine.
She stepped into the light, fully nude, her alabaster skin glowing as if on fire. “He cannot come here yet, can he, little one?”
“I don’t…” I swallowed hard around the fear holding my throat closed in an icy grip. “I don’t know what you’re asking.”
Lanu turned and began pacing around the edge of the light, her body facing the direction of her stroll, her piercing gaze pinning me in place. “I ask the extent of your husband’s mastery of his beast, the monster residing within him. I ask how close to the turn he has come. Surely you know this.”
I shook my head.
In two steps she was on me, her face pressed close to mine, her eyes as dark as the emptiness outside the light. “Do not lie, child. Do not hide thinking I will spare you.”
A single sob escaped my lungs. “I’m not. I just don’t know.”
“I see.” She stepped back and faded into the shadows. “He thinks to spare you where I would not. My little strategist has failed you, child. You appear to be a weakness, you and the favorite and the babe. His love has blinded him to fate’s hand, but only…” Her head eased into the light, tilted to one side, her pale blonde hair swirling in long streams around it. “Only you. Only your fate eludes him. Interesting.”
She resumed her circular path around me. “The three of you have much to learn and enough potential to intrigue even the most jaded among us. Eric with his strength of mind, Jason with his discipline and courage, and you, with your heart. Tell me, child. When did you learn of your affinity with emotion?”
“What?” I clamped my lips together, forcing my jaw not to gape. “I don�
�t…”
She turned toward me and in the next moment embraced me in impossibly strong limbs. “Allow me the dark kiss. Share yourself with me, child.”
I exhaled an unsteady breath and tilted my chin up and to the side. She stood on tiptoes and kissed the pulse racing furiously under the skin of my throat. A single fang pinched my skin and I gasped, struggling to control the air heaving in and out of my lungs, the fear crawling under my clammy skin, the chill shadows surging into my mind. Her tongue flicked out, stealing a solitary drop of my blood, and she arched back, ecstasy flooding her expression.
“Beautiful memory, bright and bold, hid under watchful mind, and I…” Her voice held a keen edge of mania and her fingernails dug into my arms, cutting the skin.
“Please,” I whispered. “Please let me go.”
Her eyes rolled back in her head and her nostrils flared as her chest heaved and shook. “Shackle unfurled shadows cold, thy beating heart forever mine.”
She released me abruptly. I staggered back and held my arms out, warding her off as she straightened, her expression cool and untouched.
“The trinity is nigh,” she said, “and your strength flags. Accept the blood offerings, child. Consume the memories of those around you and prepare yourself for what lies ahead.”
A wicker basinet appeared at the edge of the light, its cradle rocking gently. Lanu swept her hand toward it. “The future lies in the past, and your salvation. Have you not longed for the heart lost to a mad woman?”
I touched trembling fingers to my chest and stared at the basinet. My baby, the one I’d carried before the turn. How cruel of Lanu to remind me. How ugly for her to show me what could never be again. Sorrow clogged my throat and tears welled up. A faint pop sounded from the shadows, and a moment later, strong, familiar arms embraced me. I turned and buried my face in Eric’s throat, sobbing my grief onto his bare shoulder.
“Shh, baby, shh. It’s ok,” he murmured, smoothing a gentle hand over my hair. “You’re not ready yet. I knew you weren’t ready yet.”
Lanu’s cold voice sliced through the air around us. “Sweet Eric, your love blinds you. She thinks the babe dead by Selena’s murderous hand.”
Eric tensed, becoming so still his breath hushed and froze in his lungs. “No.”
“She is,” I said. “I felt the baby die, felt her leave me. God, Eric. I’m so sorry, so sorry I didn’t protect her better.”
“Gianna, sweetheart, no. That’s not on you. It never was.” He turned my face to his and kissed me softly on my mouth, kissed away my tears. “I wish I’d been able to figure out what was going on in your head better, wish the shadows yielded to me the way they’re supposed to.”
“Perhaps if you loved her less,” Lanu murmured.
Eric smiled, a bare twitch of his lips. “Perhaps you understand what that kind of love is now.”
“Perhaps I do, pet. Perhaps I have also underestimated your strength.”
“Never, my queen.” Eric gathered me close, holding me tenderly within that strength. “Dawn approaches. I’d like to take my wife back to her bed before the sun tops the horizon.”
“You have become bold, Eric of the Three.”
Lanu wrapped herself around us. I squinched my eyes shut and clung to Eric as the air swirled and whistled around us. We twisted with it, tumbling through the void, and returned to Now.
I opened my eyes on a sharp gasp. We were laying on the bed, exactly as we had been when we’d fallen asleep. Eric grunted and stretched behind me. Jason shook his head and pushed himself upright on his elbows.
On his other side, Lanu rose gracefully as Blake muttered a string of colorful curses. “Lanu, I love you beyond life itself, but would you quit drawing me into that fucking void?”
Eric laughed softly. “Yeah, I didn’t like it much there, either.”
Lanu’s black eyes fixed on Eric. “You were not invited, pet.”
“You took my wife,” he said mildly. “Don’t expect me not to follow.”
“A lesson I shall remember. Have I still your loyalty?”
Eric reached around me and grasped the queen’s hand. “I am and ever have been your loyal servant.”
“Pretty words from a pretty man.” Lanu threaded her fingers through his. “Time grows short, Eric. You have seen the coming dawn. You know what awaits us on the morrow of morrows.”
“I’ve seen glimpses,” he acknowledged.
Jason glanced sharply at Eric, his brows furrowed. “Is that what that was?”
“What?” I asked.
“Something Eric showed me,” Jason murmured. “Later, ok?”
“You must prepare,” Lanu said. “Allow her more freedom, allow her to grow. She is ready, child, and eager to reclaim that which was lost to her.”
Does she always talk in riddles? I asked Jason.
He rolled his eyes. You have no idea.
“As always, your counsel is wise,” Eric said.
Lanu smiled slowly, her eyes glittering. “Go now and care for your family, Eric Logan. We shall speak again before my return to New York.”
“Yes, my queen.”
Eric slid off the bed, then helped me into a wobbly stand. Jason murmured something to the queen too low for me to catch, though I didn’t miss Blake’s soft laughter. He caught up with us as we stepped into the hall and swooped me into his arms, cradling me against his broad chest.
I rested my head on his shoulder and relaxed into his embrace. “I can walk.”
“I know,” he said. “I just like holding you.”
“And I like holding both of you.” Eric slowed his pace and fell in beside us. He curled a hand around one of my feet and rubbed his thumb slowly across its arch. “Shower and then bed?”
“Yes,” I said. “Cheesecake wouldn’t hurt.”
They laughed, and I grinned, happy to be with my family again.
Chapter Seven
My dreams were blessedly normal and imminently forgettable. I came awake gradually, slowly becoming aware of my surroundings. The soft mattress I lay on, the crisp cotton sheets. The rise and fall of Eric’s chest under my cheek, and the absence of a large man who should’ve been on my other side. I sat up, careful not to jar Eric, and peered grumpily around the darkened room.
“He’s with Blake.” Eric tugged and sent me sprawling across his chest. “It’s just me and you, baby, me and you and this big bed.”
I laughed softly and nuzzled his throat. “Make love to me, husband.”
“Gladly.” He rolled me onto my back and slid into me in one smooth stroke. “God, that’s so good. How can it be so good every time?”
“Because it is.” I wrapped a leg around his waist and matched his slow, gentle thrusts. “Thank you for staying.”
“I couldn’t leave you, not this time. We have so much to talk about, so much you need to know.” He brushed a kiss across my forehead. “Later, though. Right now, you need blood. You used up too much last night between the ball and sparring with Lanu.”
I stroked a finger over his pulse, so tempted it was nearly beyond me to resist. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. Take care of yourself now, sweetheart, and let me worry about pleasing you.”
He wedged a hand between my butt and the mattress, shifting me closer, and eased into a harder rhythm with his hips, sliding his dick in and out of my wet pussy in sharp thrusts, slowly feeding the well of passion within us both. I licked the skin over his pulse, tasted the faint hint of soap and the special piquancy that was all Eric.
He moaned and rocked harder, squeezing the muscles of my bottom, urging me to take him. How could I deny his need to give when it was as great as my own need to receive? I slashed one fang across his pulse, opening a slit in his smooth skin no longer than the end of my pinky and barely deep enough to draw blood. It seeped out, slowed by the thinness of the cut. I caught it on my tongue, savoring him, loving him, and brought him into me, where he belonged.
Our bond shimmied under the weight o
f our rush toward one another, and two became we, caught in the pleasure racing through us. The shadows never came here. They never interfered with our bond, and I refused to ponder why. It was enough that I had this small space with Eric where we could love freely without the vampire within each of us surging to the fore.
I took as much as I dared, barely more than a few teaspoons full, and reluctantly sealed the cut. Later, when he’d had a chance to eat and recover, I’d take more and he would take from me, and our bond would renew itself.
He whispered my name and slowed his thrusts, prolonging the steady build. “I love you, Gianna, so very, very much.”
I tangled my fingers in his hair and brought his mouth to mine, and kissed him as my hips rose to meet his and we climbed higher, higher, and fell together into a beautiful release. He panted his into my mouth, his body shuddering above me, the pulse of his cum spurting into me in a welcome reminder that he was mine. We came down slowly, joined in body, mind, and heart, a near perfect union.
We lacked only Jason to make it so.
Eric laughed and rubbed his cheek against mine. “I heard that.”
“Well, it’s true,” I said. “I love you and sometimes I hate having to share you, but without him…”
“I know. I feel the same way. He does, too. Stubborn cuss won’t admit it, though.” Eric smacked a kiss to my mouth. “Mmm. I could do that all day long, but we’ve got a lot to do today. Shower?”
“We took one before we came to bed.”
He grinned wickedly. “And I got you dirty again. Come on.”
We shared a quick shower, washing each other under the water’s warm spray. Dried each other off and dressed, him in a short-sleeved t-shirt and cargo shorts, me in jeans and one of his old long-sleeved t-shirts, this one black with a Metallica concert logo. As soon as Jason learned I liked sleeping in their t-shirts, they both went through their clothes and gave me half a dozen shirts of various sizes and states of repair. I loved them, every single one, including the threadbare John Deere t-shirt Jason had scrounged up from his childhood, at least half a dozen years and eight inches in height ago.
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