by Anna Jacobs
When Jonathon found her, he pulled her to her feet and supported her as she stumbled into the house. Then he held her while all the ice melted and she cried out her sorrow for her son and her marriage.
He understood what she was going through. He’d been there himself. And he knew better than to let her make any irremediable decisions in this frame of mind. If she came to him, she had to come for all the right reasons. Not because her insensitive husband had trampled all over her again.
Chapter Twenty-One
‘I’m not going back to Australia yet,’ Jenny decided as they sat in the pub. She looked at Ned. ‘You want me to stay here, don’t you?’
‘Of course I do. You can come and live with my family.’
‘I don’t think I’d better. I—’
He took hold of her hand, kissed it, then kissed her cheek for good measure. ‘You’ve seen how happy all this is making my mother. She’s been itching for me to get married. Besides, we’ve tons of room at home. You must definitely come and stay with us while you and I look for a house of our own. We’ll get married as soon as we can. None of this fancy wedding fuss. It’s you I want.’
Louise excused herself and went to the ladies’.
Jenny didn’t notice her sister’s departure, but sat smiling at the thought of having her own home, her own life. With him. Then it occurred to her that she’d be completely dependent on Ned and that thought didn’t please her quite so much. ‘There’ll be formalities to go through. I’m an Australian citizen. And I’d like to find myself a job, though not as a trainee manager.’
‘Fine, we’ll go through the formalities together. No one will turn a gorgeous girl like you down. And if you want a job, I’ll help you hunt for one.’ He raised his glass and drank a silent toast to her. ‘Though you could come and work in the gallery, if you wanted. It’s hard to get part-time staff. Mum comes in sometimes when we’re busy. You might enjoy it.’
She frowned. ‘Is this a pretend job, or a real one?’
‘It’s as real as you care to make it, love. Up to you.’
Her face brightened. ‘Then I accept. I always used to like art at school and I’d love to learn about antiques.’
Louise came back and sat down, smiling at them both. ‘It makes me feel there’s hope in the world, seeing you two looking all smoochy.’ Her smile faded and she stared down into her lemon, lime and bitters. ‘I’m underage, though, and he still has power over me.’
‘Only for a few weeks then you’ll be eighteen,’ Jenny said consolingly. ‘At that age you’re technically an adult – I think.’
‘Yeah, but what do you live on, whether they call you an adult or not?’
‘Mum has some money now.’
‘I suppose so. Do you think she’d mind supporting me for a bit till I find my feet?’
‘I think she’d love to.’
Louise began to look thoughtful. ‘I’ll still need to train for something. Perhaps nursing.’ She blinked her eyes furiously. ‘Tim suggested that and I think he was right.’
She’d thought about it several times since his death and the idea pleased her greatly. It meant he would be with her in a sense, would have given her a permanent legacy. Then reality bit and she shook her head. ‘Dad will find some way to stop me, you know he will. If Mum makes him mad enough, he’ll do anything he can to hurt her – through me, if he has to.’ She shivered. ‘He frightens me when I’m on my own with him, you know. He thumped me around quite a bit when he came to get me in Perth.’
Jenny gasped. ‘No!’
‘Mind,’ Louise allowed, ‘I probably needed it. But he didn’t need to enjoy it, which he definitely did. And I was terrified. Absolutely terrified,’ she repeated, remembering that day with a shiver.
‘He’s always made me nervous. Tim used to say—’ Jenny broke off for a moment, then continued unsteadily, ‘that I should stand up to him. But I’m not like you two. I’m soft. Too soft. More like Mum, really.’
Ned frowned. ‘I don’t like your father, I must admit, but is he really so bad?’
Jenny nodded. ‘Well, he does like to be the big boss man and make everyone’s decisions for them, though to give the devil his due, he’s always supported us in style. But he’s had Mum under his thumb for years.’ She paused, then added, ‘Well, except for her embroidery, though she puts that away when he’s home.’
Ned shook his head. ‘He was very scornful about it when he was talking to my father, but she’s a brilliant artist! How can he not see that?’
‘That’s probably the reason he hates it,’ Louise said gloomily. ‘He doesn’t like anyone else to shine too brightly when he’s around. You should see him perform at a party. Mr Wonderful in person.’
They stayed on in the pub until nearly three o’clock, then Louise sighed. ‘I think we’d better get back, don’t you? She might – you know, need us.’
‘You drop us outside,’ Jenny told Ned. ‘No need to stir things up further by you and Dad having a confrontation.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes. Very sure.’ She linked her arm in Louise’s. ‘Besides, there are two of us, not one.’
‘Three. Don’t forget Mum.’
But their mother wasn’t at home and their father was on the phone as usual, talking about—The two sisters looked at one another apprehensively. He was ending the lease on this house.
‘Didn’t she tell Dad?’ Jenny whispered.
‘I don’t know.’
Paul came out of his little office. ‘Come into the living room. I want a word with you two.’ He waited until they sat down together on one of the sofas, then said, ‘We’re all going back to Australia as soon as I can book seats on a plane. Go and get me your return ticket, Jenny, and I’ll rebook you with us – I presume you did have a return ticket?’
She took a deep breath. ‘I’m going to stay on in England with Ned’s family. We’re going to get married quite soon.’
‘You can get married later.’ His smile became frosty at the edges. ‘Your mother needs you at the moment. She’s rather upset by all this. So go and get the ticket, there’s a good girl.’
‘I’m sorry, but I’m not going back with you.’
He glowered at her. ‘Don’t make me have to come and find the ticket.’
Her mouth fell open. ‘But—’
‘I mean it, Jenny. What this family needs now is pulling together and I intend to do just that.’ He set his hands on his hips and stared at her challengingly. ‘Well, are you going to get that ticket or am I?’
‘I’ll – it’s in my room.’ She stumbled upstairs wondering how to buy time, feeling as if she were living in a nightmare. Whatever had happened between her parents had made her father go all aggro. Had her mother given in to him again? Surely not? And where was she?
Jenny took out the plane ticket, looked at it and shook her head. She’d paid for it. It was hers and he had no right to take it off her. She tiptoed out on the landing to see what was happening downstairs. He was shouting at Louise now, ranting on about people who went off for a drink in the pub at a time when the family should stick together.
‘And with a stranger, too!’ he roared.
‘Ned’s not a stranger. He’s going to marry my sister.’
‘Not if I have any say in the matter. I don’t want a wimp like him for a son-in-law.’
Upstairs Jenny’s hand flew up to her mouth. She knew her father and Ned had hardly had the most promising of introductions – but she hadn’t thought even he would try to stop them getting married. If she went back to Australia, she’d be stuck there without the money to return. Well, she’d have the rest of her winnings, but why should she have to buy another ticket with it when she was here already?
No, she wasn’t going. She was staying here and marrying Ned. Letting out a long, slow breath, she murmured, ‘Sorry, Mum.’
She stuffed the plane ticket into her handbag, together with all her remaining money. Then she shoved some underwear into a plastic c
arrier bag. After a hasty glance round to see if there was anything else she could grab quickly, she crept out onto the landing, ducking back with a gasp as her father came into the hall.
He yelled over his shoulder, ‘And you, young lady, are going back to your studies next semester. Business studies. The only sort of qualification that gets people jobs nowadays. You can do better for yourself than nursing, by hell you can!’ He strode off towards the kitchen, not even glancing upstairs, and there came the sound of running water and the kettle being switched on.
As cups rattled and cupboard doors slammed, Jenny tiptoed down the stairs. Passing the open door of the living room, she saw Louise sitting disconsolately on the sofa and paused, her heart going out to her sister. When Louise looked up, Jenny raised one hand in farewell and blew her a kiss.
Louise made shooing motions with one hand.
Jenny managed to get the front door open without her father hearing and didn’t even try to close it behind her. Once outside she took off at a run, haring down the street as if pursued by all the demons from hell.
When she saw the Dorchester bus chugging round the corner towards her, it seemed as if fate was on her side. Hope springing up anew at this miracle, she sprinted to the pole with its little BUS STOP sign at the top and its faded timetable under a pane of cracked glass, signalling to it to stop.
With a grin the driver pulled up. ‘Nearly missed it there, young lady, didn’t you? If I hadn’t been running late, you’d have had to wait another hour.’
Joy filled Jenny. ‘Yes. What a bit of luck! A single to Dorchester, please.’ She slid into the seat and sat smiling out at the world. She wasn’t going back to Australia yet. Not even for her mother’s sake. And since she was almost twenty-three, there was no legal way her father could make her.
If Ned’s family didn’t want her, she’d simply find somewhere else to stay and get a job. She had just cast her vote with her feet. Stuff you, Dad, she thought. Go and find someone else to bully.
There was nothing she could do to help her mother except take herself out of the equation. Now her mother only had Louise to worry about.
When Rosalind’s tears dried up, she poured out all the details of the encounter with her husband to Jonathon, then lay back on the couch, numb with tiredness and reaction.
‘You needed to cry it out,’ he said. ‘You really did.’
‘Yes.’ The lump of ice inside her was gone now, but she was left with a sea of churning panic in its place. ‘I’m going to leave him, Jonathon.’
‘Are you sure about that?’
She nodded. ‘Very sure.’ She waited a minute and when he didn’t say anything, she asked, ‘Can I come here to you?’
When he didn’t immediately reply, she looked sideways. ‘Jonathon?’
‘I want you to leave him, of course I do. And I want us to try living together. But I’m not sure—’ He began to chew one corner of his lip.
‘Not sure of what?’
‘Of whether you really do want to make a life with me. Or whether you just want to leave him.’
‘Jonathon!’
‘And I don’t think you’re completely sure yet, either, which is more to the point. One doesn’t break up a long marriage like yours in a fit of anger. If you want my opinion, you need to go back to Australia and make certain you really can leave everything – home, country, friends.’ His eyes were shadowed. ‘I’ve made one very serious mistake, Rosalind, and I’m not about to make another. Even to help you.’
‘I thought,’ her breath caught on a sob, ‘you loved me.’
‘I do, very much indeed, but I’m too old and wary to toss everything aside because of it. That’s not enough for me or for anyone. You, of all people, should know that. You loved Paul once. Greatly, if I’m any judge.’
More tears filled her eyes, trickling from the lake of meltwater within her. ‘Yes.’
‘So I’m not going to rush into anything – not even with you, my dearest Rosalind. When things have calmed down, when you’ve found your feet again, we could try living together. I’d really like to get to know you better in – more normal circumstances,’ he gave her a wry smile, ‘and for you to get to know me, warts and all. I actually believe we stand a good chance of building a successful, and I hope long-term relationship – but not now, not while you’re so upset with him. I won’t be held responsible in future for breaking up your marriage, not by you or by anyone else.’
After a short silence, he gave her a hug, then put her resolutely away from him. ‘Come to the kitchen. I’ll get you a cup of coffee and a biscuit.’
She went with him, feeling shattered. She’d failed with Paul. Was she failing with Jonathon already?
Was he failing her?
Or was he right?
Did she need more time to come to terms with the failure of her marriage? She didn’t know. She didn’t feel as if she was very wise at all. The whole world, herself included, was a puzzle to her lately, incomprehensible as a high-walled maze that she’d strayed into by sheer chance on a moonless night.
‘Thanks.’ She sipped the coffee, avoiding his eyes.
He sat jiggling a teabag in his own cup, then fussing over the milk and sugar.
When the caffeine had started to kick into her system she stood up. ‘I’d better get back, then.’
He stood up too and tried to take her in his arms.
‘Don’t.’ She pushed at him. ‘Don’t!’
He stood looking down at her, an anxious question in his eyes.
And suddenly she knew she wouldn’t be certain of anything until she got back to her own home and possessions, the home which had been the centre of her world for so long.
‘You’re right,’ she said, turning to walk out of the house. At the front door she stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. ‘I do need to go home before I commit to anything else. How wise you are! And there’s Louise to sort out, as well. I can’t abandon her to Paul’s tender mercies.’ She looked at him searchingly. ‘I’ll write. And phone. If you want me to.’
‘I do.’ He didn’t have her Australian address and still he let her go, watching her drive away, aching to call her back. But he couldn’t do that. Didn’t dare. He wanted Rosalind whole in heart and mind – or not at all.
He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, to see her grow and expand, to make her happy, to be happy himself.
Was that too much to ask?
He wouldn’t settle for anything less.
At home Rosalind found the mail on the floor in the hall. She picked it up and began to open her own letters, not wanting to see Paul yet. She could hear him upstairs. It sounded as if he was packing his things, whistling cheerfully.
He knew she was back, but he didn’t come down to see her. He expected her to go to him.
There was a letter from her mother, written just after Tim died, which made Rosalind weep a little, and there was a letter from the solicitor in Southport to say they’d got probate. The money to which she was currently entitled would have been transferred into her account by the time she received this. The sum he mentioned was so large it made her gasp. She stuffed that letter hurriedly into her pocket.
She and Paul had enough problems to sort out without him trying to get hold of her money. Or trying to fool her into believing he was a reformed character, because of the money.
Besides, this was her ticket to freedom – if she decided to leave him.
‘I have to go up to London first thing tomorrow,’ Paul said as she entered the bedroom.
He didn’t even turn his head to look at her, she thought resentfully.
‘I’ve booked us three on a plane to Australia leaving Heathrow Saturday teatime. I wanted to book Jenny, too, but she ran out of the house and took her return ticket with her. Went off to join that twit, I suppose. So bugger her. She can fend for herself from now on.’
Rosalind felt a spurt of relief trickle through her. Jenny was safe, then. But there was still Louise to worry about. ‘I
think that’s the right thing for Jenny,’ she said carefully. ‘Ned will look after her.’
‘I don’t agree. I think she should bloody well put family first at a time like this.’
She didn’t state the obvious, that this was the first time he’d put family first in all their years together – if he was putting it first, if this wasn’t part of some devious scheme or other. No, surely not! Even Paul wouldn’t be scheming at a time like this. She contented herself with, ‘Ned is her family, now.’
‘Well, she needn’t come to me to pay for a fancy wedding if she won’t do the right thing by you.’
‘She’s doing exactly the right thing by me – marrying the man she loves.’ And if Paul didn’t pay for the wedding, Rosalind would. Not a huge, extravagant one, which she thought a waste, but a nice wedding. And she’d certainly come back to attend it.
Oh, it felt so good to have Sophie’s money behind her. ‘I’ll leave you to pack your things, then.’
He looked at the jumble in his suitcase. ‘Could you just sort this out for me …?’
‘No, I couldn’t. I’m exhausted.’ And besides, she didn’t want to touch his things. Or him.
What did that say?
‘Thanks for nothing.’ His lips curved in a particularly nasty sneer. ‘Wept all over your dear friends, have you?’
There was no point in denying the obvious. ‘Yes.’
‘Feel better for it?’
‘Not really.’ She turned partly away from him.
He paused halfway towards her, arms outstretched, then let his arms drop. ‘I see. I’m still in the doghouse, eh?’
‘Very much so.’
‘Ros, I’m not going to beg you to stay with me, but I’ll reiterate – what I’ve done doesn’t make any difference to our marriage. It never has.’
She looked at him as if he were a stranger. He felt like a stranger. ‘So you say. And my name’s Rosalind. It always has been. And fidelity happens to be something I value very highly indeed. You’ve had that from me.’
He let out a long, aggrieved sigh and turned back to his case, cramming things in with a bit more care.