by Aliyah Burke
“Fine. You can come to my hotel, but this is just for talking. I’m not fucking you.”
“What happens will be entirely up to you.”
She narrowed her gaze once more, but he didn’t elaborate on that statement. If she changed her mind, he sure as hell wasn’t going to pipe up and state they had to stop because of something said in a hospital parking lot.
Eva jerked from his hold. “I’m over here.”
He trailed her to a small sedan and held his tongue as they got inside. As she drove, he remained silent, taking the opportunity to update his mental recognition of this woman. Her hair was a bit longer, still maintaining the blue tips. They were darker, so he wondered if she’d had them redone since he’d seen her last.
Still, his woman was sexy as sin and he wanted to strip away those scrubs and relearn everything she had to offer. From her posture, he didn’t believe that would be an option for a while.
I really fucked this up.
She parked at the hotel and got out without speaking. He followed her in and to the elevator where she pushed the button for the tenth floor. As they ascended, he watched as she rubbed the back of her neck with a shake of her head.
They were in her hotel room within moments and he gazed around while she dropped her purse on the small table and the bag she carried on the chair next to that.
Eva kicked a chair in his direction. “So talk.”
He gripped the back of the chair prior to claiming a seat. “What about you?”
Another yawn. “Look, I had a serious glow going on before you walked back into my life. My stress had been wiped away, now I’m tense and exhausted. Say what you need to say, so I can shower and climb into that very uncomfortable bed over there.”
Ignoring the pain her words caused him, he nodded. “I was scared.”
Nothing like being blunt but the time for me to dick around with excuses is over. I’m going to have to be honest with her if I want a shot at keeping her in my life. He didn’t talk feelings. He didn’t do this type of thing and it made him over-the-top uncomfortable, but for the woman in the room with him, he’d do this and more. Although walking barefoot over hot coals would be preferable to sharing feelings, he would find a way to get through it.
“Scared of what?” There was no condemnation in her tone this time, she was just asking for more clarification to his statement.
“Where we were going and what may happen if you decided you no longer wanted to be there with me.”
“So instead, you decide to have me make all these plans for spending Christmas with my family and myself, then you call me once you’re out of the country. Couldn’t do it before you left the country, no, had to wait until after you landed in South America.”
“I handled it shitty, no argument.”
“You’re right, no argument here for that shit you pulled. I spent the whole time telling my parents you had to work, making you out to be a great person.”
“And your sisters?”
“Oh, they knew the truth of you being an asshole, which is why I’m surprised Tara told you where I was.”
“She didn’t just tell me where you were, she also threatened me.”
“Tara’s good at that. And she meant every word of it.”
He swore her lips turned up a bit when she said it. This time, he ran both hands through his hair. Exhaustion had long since ceased nipping at his heels, it had started gnawing on his leg. He fought of another yawn, determined to make this right before he crashed. At least, he could acquire a room here. “I wanted to be there, Eva. Believe me.”
“Hard to believe that when you bailed. And let’s not call it anything other than what it was. You chickened out and didn’t show.”
He nodded. “I know I did. I ruined your reason to trust me. What do I have to do to get that back? I want what we had. No, that’s not correct. I want more than what we had.”
“I don’t know, Grant. It seems you showed me what you were made of when you handled this before. I can’t go through that again. It hurt and I’ve moved on.” She sighed. “Besides, it’s better this way. It wouldn’t have worked.”
No, he didn’t want to hear this. He couldn’t lose her. “Why do you say that?”
Her eyes shuttered before they appeared to calm and be damn near emotionless. She couldn’t quite hide it all.
“I can’t have children, Grant. I’m guessing you’ll want someone who can carry on your family line. That’s not me. You asked me back in Mexico why I got into what I am, and I only told you part of the reason. The rest is this. Because I had cancer. I’m one of the few who survived but not without sacrifices. I’m sterile. I can never swell with a child of my own. I won’t ever know the joy of bringing life into this world. And I’m not going to put anyone else through that. So there…now you know the ugly truth.”
Holy shit, that wasn’t anything at all what he was expecting. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he opened them and pushed to his feet, stalking to her and sweeping her up in his arms.
“Grant, put me down.” Eva struggled.
He ignored her slightly breathless command and carried her to the bed where he placed her with care down then joined her. Hooking his leg over her hip, he anchored them together. Grant rested his head against hers and sighed as her scent wove around him, calming the demons that had been alive and raging within him since his stupidity. He held her in silence for about ten minutes.
Eva didn’t struggle, didn’t argue about how tight he held her, just lay there, her arms between them.
Grant cleared his throat. “I’m in love with you, Eva Monroe. I know you’re not going to believe me but it’s the truth. I want to be with you. Marry you. If you can’t have babies, we can adopt or be without. That doesn’t change how I feel about you. We can do Doctors Without Borders if you’d like or something similar. I’ll move to Iowa, whatever it takes.” There wasn’t any response from her, so he drew back a little and glanced at her. Her eyes were closed, her blonde lashes settled against her skin.
He shook his head, realizing she’d fallen asleep in his arms. “Figures the one moment I have the stones to open up to her, she sleeps through it.”
Grant wrapped her up tight, ensured that they had no light between them, and despite his own exhaustion, took the time to enjoy having her back in his arms.
Chapter Thirteen
One second, she danced in her dreams the next—she dropped into reality and woke with a start. Eva’s heart thundered in her chest as the strong masculine arms around her tightened.
What the hell is going on?
With caution opening her eyes, her heart slowed as she stared at Grant sleeping right there in front of her. He had his arms about her, keeping them tight together but he wasn’t awake. Dark shadows underlined his eyes and he appeared gaunter than when she’d last seen him.
How could it be that this man could make her mad enough to spit fire but continue to make her heart go pitter-patter? All he had to do was look at her, caress her with his gaze and she was nothing more than mush. Didn’t matter what he’d done. She wanted to forgive him, wanted to have him back in her life, so she could find that joy, that euphoria she’d experienced while being with him.
So why don’t I forgive him? I’ve done things in my life I wasn’t proud of. I’ve needed to be forgiven a time or two for my actions. And what the hell was I thinking to spit that out about being sterile?
Eva nibbled on her lower lip as she reached out to touch his face, lightly brushing her fingertips along his cheek. His stubble brought that familiar need within her belly. She loved how it brushed against her skin. His features had been memorized after all the time she’d been with him in person, then she’d also stared at any of the numerous pictures she’d taken with him. She knew his face so well.
Especially when it was between my legs or over me.
He’d come after her. All this time and she thought he’d left her life forever. Now, he lay here with her. Holding her like he had no desire to let h
er go.
Well, he may not want to, but her bladder currently screamed at her. So she wriggled out of his hold and went into the bathroom to take care of her needs. Before heading back out to the main part of the room, she turned on the shower and jumped in, just for a quick pick me up.
Towel wrapped around her, she stepped back out into the area of the hotel room where the bed was. Grant had woken up and lay there, eyes glued to the door.
“Morning,” she said.
“Eva.” He reached out a hand and beckoned to her.
“I have to get ready to head to the hospital, Grant. I can’t do this. Not right now. I’m sorry I fell asleep last night but I’m exhausted.” She pointed at his face. “From the looks of things, so are you. Get some more rest, we can talk later this afternoon when I’m finished with my presentation.”
“I thought you were pissed with me.”
“Oh, I am. Make no mistake about that but if we’re both exhausted, nothing is going to come of it aside from yelling and accusations. We’re both better than that.” She checked the time on the clock by the bed. “But I have to get going so I’m not late.”
“What are you doing down here?” He sat and the sheet slid down exposing his rock-hard chest and abdominals.
She bit back a whimper of need. “Sharing some procedures we do at our hospital with our patients. They’re trying to improve on what they do and asked me to come down and share some of our practices.”
“You’re always willing to help out others.”
She gave a small, easy shrug. “If I wasn’t, I sure picked the wrong profession.”
His grin did wicked things to her insides. Made her long to forget going in and hell, made her want to ignore the need for clothing. What harm would it do if she dropped the towel? Where would it lead?
“Come here,” he ordered, sliding to the edge of the bed.
She listened then paused. “When did you take off your shirt?”
“Don’t recall. Come here.” He wriggled his fingers at her.
She took his hand and didn’t speak as he drew her between his legs. Behind the cotton of the towel, her nipples hardened. This wasn’t fair. Correction—this was downright torture. For her to be there, that close to him with only a towel between his hands and her body, was a level of temptation she wasn’t sure she’d survive.
“I told you something last night, Eva. But you’d already crashed and didn’t hear me.” He took her other hand, lacing their fingers together. “I will tell you again, but I want to make sure you know something first, before you head out today.”
She didn’t even have to dip her head to look at him, he was right there, eyes on hers. “And what’s that?”
Releasing her hands, he smoothed his over her sides and down to settle on her waist. He flexed his fingers, gracing along the curve of her hip.
“Grant?”
“I know I fucked up. I took the trust you’d put in me and shattered it. I will make it up to you. I’m not letting you go. I will find a way to fix this and earn that trust back. Get you back.”
His tone wasn’t cocky or condescending but heartfelt and dare she think it, honest. Her gaze softened and she sighed heavily. “It’s not going to be that easy.”
“Nothing worth a damn ever is easy. And you are worth it to me.”
“Words are easy to spew forth, Grant. Actions speak so much louder.”
His expression was crestfallen, and she had to harden her heart to the emotions that threatened to take away her resolve to not fall for him a second time. “I know they do. I’ll make it up to you, Eva.”
“I have to go.”
He cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers, slipping his tongue into her mouth and twining it along hers.
She whimpered and sank her fingers into his hair, pushing harder against him. The she broke the breathless kiss. “I really have to go.” If the repeat was to remind him or herself, she wasn’t positive. Because all she truly wanted to do was have him pull away the towel and touch her like he had when they were together.
“If that’s what you wish,” he muttered, loosening the tuck of her towel. “God, I missed this. Looking at you naked. The smooth satiny skin that covers your fucking amazing curves. Your breasts that I can suck on forever and never get bored.” His touch moved to over her belly, spreading wide, hovering above her pussy.
Her legs trembled and she locked her knees, determined not to collapse.
“Then there’s this.” He brushed his fingertips over the small triangle of hair she kept trimmed. “You’re not bald here and I’m glad. I love this tiny patch of hair that leads me to your pussy. A place that cradles my cock unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. A place that I love to lap and taste your cream as you come hard, thighs holding my ears as I’m between your legs.” Grant leaned his head forward and flicked his tongue along a nipple.
His words brought images to her mind that she’d fought hard to suppress. His voice made her shiver and she knew she was drenched. She shuddered and he moved to another one, doing the same thing, causing the same reaction. Damn him and the way he made her feel.
“God, I want to feel you around my dick as I fuck you. Want to suck on your tits as you’re riding me. I want to have your lips around my cock as I thrust deep into your throat.”
She whimpered as cream gathered and leaked down her inner thigh. He cupped her pussy and she widened her stance, wishing for his fingers deep inside her. More of a touch.
“Tell me you missed me,” he ordered, flicking his touch along her clit.
Her breath came in short rapid pants. “Yes, I missed you. Please, stop torturing me.”
“You said you had to get to work.” His words moved along her skin with his warm breath.
“I—I do.” She shifted her hips, desperate to have him push his fingers inside her. Eva gripped his hair, tightened her hold and pulled. “Grant.” His name fell like a plea from her lips. She took hold of his wrist and maneuvered his fingers to inside her pussy. “There. I need you there.”
“Demanding,” he whispered.
“Then why are you resisting?” Shit, she longed to feel his thick digits spreading her open, filling her, preparing her to accept his cock.
“Waiting for you to ask nicely.”
“Is that so?” She dragged her fingers along his torso before maneuvering to the fly of his pants. “Or were you waiting for me to release your cock for you, straddle your lap and take you inside me, one inch at a time?”
“You’re the boss,” he replied. “I’m here to serve you. You state you have to get to work, yet here you remain, my fingers just barely brushing your pussy. I feel your cream teasing me, I know you’re wet, I know how much you want my fingers deep inside you. I know you want me to fuck you. But I will not, not until you ask nicely.”
She lowered the zipper and took him out, never once removing her gaze from his. His blue eyes deepened in hue, showing her a shade she only saw during high points of passion between them. It heightened her pleasure and she wanted the rest that came along with the privilege. Holding him in her hand had her near purring with pleasure. She stroked him as she stepped closer. “Then consider this,” she said, moving over his legs to straddle him and line the head of his cock up to her core. “Consider this my asking nicely.” She swiped his large head over her wetness a few times before lowering herself to accept him inside her heat.
“Fuck,” he growled, dropping his hands to grip her hips.
She moved closer with this urge to climb inside his skin strong, she had to be up against him as close as she could. “Asking you, Grant, I’m asking you very, very nicely, to please fuck me.” Her statement ended when her lips were millimeters away from his.
She knew the second he gave in, his growl rumbled up from his chest to surround her, followed quickly by his arms. “You ask so beautifully. I have no choice but to oblige.”
His thickness pushed into her, reawakening every cell that had been sleeping since th
eir last sexual encounter. Her moan filled the room as she tipped her head back, capturing her lower lip in her teeth. Blood heating, she looped her arms around his neck. She would deal with the aftermath later.
Right now, she wanted, needed, this. Something only he could provide for her.
Their mouths met in a flurry of increasing need and she gave herself over to the craving he created in her. The one only this man created within her.
* * * *
Grant gazed at the woman lying beside him in the hotel bed. Eva was a tiny pixie whose light sparkled the world on a scale that boarded massive. Her effect on people blew his mind. Adults and children alike, she got to them all and infected them with her spirit and heart.
She hadn’t gone into work, she took a moment and called in to say she had to reschedule for later that she wasn’t feeling that well. That had led them back to bed and more sex.
He wasn’t going to disagree with that decision. However, he needed to speak to the woman in bed with him. While he stroked one finger down the middle of her back, it bumped over each disc in her spine until he stopped at the top of her ass. “Eva.”
She stirred, rolling to her side and opening her eyes. “What?”
“It’s time we talked.”
Her sigh preceded her climbing off the bed and tugging on her shirt. “So talk.”
He bit back his moan of disappointment when she shimmed into her pants moments later. “Come back and sit.”
“Put your pants on.” The words fell from her lips as an order.
He nodded and tugged them on before he sat back on the bed and beckoned her to join him.
While Eva didn’t take his hand, she did sit on the bed, crossed her legs, and waited for him to say something.
“I made a mistake,” he admitted, taking her hand in his. “My decision to not come be with you over the Christmas holiday will haunt me for years to come. I wanted to be with you, but I was scared. I can admit that. Worse than that, I was a coward.”
She stared at him, her blue eyes remaining without any emotion in them.
“No comment?”