by Shirley Mann
It was difficult for the ground staff at Upper Heyford to get to know the crews because of the quick turnover of courses, but Hilda’s easy manner with men had gained her a pivotal role as one of the gang and she had already got to know some of the American crews from nearby stations. On the night of the first dance, she led the way into the Town Hall and immediately muscled her way into one group by the door, introducing Lily to a crowd of good-looking Yanks who were obviously part of a regular crowd.
One was standing in the middle of the group but kept looking at Lily. She tilted her head back disdainfully, which made him smile. He was blonde with impossibly high cheekbones and piercing blue eyes. Lily ignored him as the obvious Adonis of the group who would expect – and receive – all the attention. This Saturday night, she decided, as the newcomer, it was obviously destined to be her turn. Unimpressed, she sat on a chair and talked animatedly to a small, slightly older American called Johnny, but after a few minutes, the Adonis walked towards her.
‘Excuse me, Johnny, but as you’re married and are wasting this lovely lady’s time, I am going to cut in on you.’
‘I was talking to Johnny,’ Lily said witheringly, but Johnny, accepting defeat, moved away, leaving his chair free for his friend to sit on.
The Adonis’s name was Kit and he used every trick in the book to appeal to Lily but they all failed dismally. No matter how much he flattered her, tried to make her laugh or regaled her with tales of heroism, he saw no softening of her features.
Hmmm, this is going to be a challenge, Kit thought delightedly. The English girls had been a pushover so far and he was getting bored. Used to attention and instant success, he had been finding he had been going through the motions but without any real interest. This young lady was a different proposition though.
Lily was not impressed. Kit reminded her of Davey Butler at the Boys’ Brigade. The unrivalled king of the Rusholme empire, he had taken on the challenge of getting the aloof Lily Mullins to dance with him, but she had refused, instead choosing the boys with a good sense of humour who made her giggle. Kit’s good looks and put-on charm left her feeling cold and she glanced around the room to see if Hilda could help her escape, but Hilda just smiled knowingly as she floated past on the arm of a Canadian airman, with raised eyebrows expressing approval of Lily’s ‘conquest.’
After half an hour, even Kit’s ingenuity was beginning to fail him, and he was beginning to think he should retire gracefully while he worked out his next strategy, but then another girl approached.
‘Lily, my dear, how are you? How lovely to see you and how gorgeous you look tonight.’
‘Hello, Marion,’ Lily said dully, looking down sceptically at the same uniform she had worn now for two years.
‘I’ve been meaning to track you down, but it’s just been so busy, I haven’t had a minute. Oh, hello,’ she said, pretending to only just have noticed Kit.
‘Kit, this is Marion. Marion . . . meet Kit.’
Marion’s eyes fastened onto Kit’s features like a pair of eagles’ talons.
‘Yes, I’m Marion, from Chelsea . . . in London, you know.’
‘I haven’t been to London yet, I’ve been waiting for one of you English girls to take me,’ Kit said, looking at Marion and then trying to include Lily in the conversation.
‘Well, we’ll have to see about that. You simply must go to Harrods, it’s the only place to shop and the tea there is divine.’
Lily stood up and with a finality said, ‘Well, I’ll leave you two to it. I need to go to the bog.’
Kit stood up and started to say something, but Lily put out her hand to stop him. ‘It’s been nice meeting you. Good night.’
Kit watched her disappear into the crowd, his interest more intense than it had been since he had arrived in England. This young WAAF was just the challenge he needed.
Chapter 31
Lily was still shocked by Ted’s death and was certainly not in the mood for romance but there was another reason why she appeared distracted and unimpressed by Kit’s charms. A couple of days earlier she had been going off duty and making her way across the airfield when she looked up to see a Spitfire coming in to land. Lily was fascinated by these wonderful planes that were giving the RAF such an edge and she loved watching them fly. She stood, shielding her eyes and watched the pilot skilfully bring the plane to a complete standstill as if it were a graceful swan gliding to land on a pond. She peered at the pilot who was climbing out and then uttered an exclamation of complete shock – it was a woman. Lily was stunned. Was this one of those mythical creatures from the Air Transport Auxiliary who delivered planes around the country? She had heard about them but never thought to meet one. The girl hurried off, leaving Lily wandering around all day in a daze, looking everywhere to see if she could spot the female pilot.
The following morning, Lily was on her way to the control tower to sign on shift. For once she was early as she hadn’t slept well, tossing and turning, imagining herself piloting a Spitfire. There was a figure in front of her – it was her! Lily stopped in her tracks and took a huge gasp. Like a schoolgirl with a crush, she surreptitiously followed the girl as she made her way to the guard-room. Lily mumbled something to the desk officer that there may be a message for her before sitting down so she could watch the girl in front of her.
Oblivious that every move was being scrutinised, the girl took off her helmet to release a glorious mane of deep, auburn hair She confidently put her delivery chit on the counter and announced she was waiting for her transport back to base in Hamble. The man behind the desk looked as surprised as Lily at the confident young woman standing at the desk and eventually just nodded. The pilot turned around and sat on the wooden bench next to Lily, who smiled shyly at the girl but could not help staring at the insignia on her tunic. The golden wings shone out like a lucky charm and Lily was completely overwhelmed. She could not take her eyes off them.
‘I am in the ATA, my name’s Roberta,’ the girl told her, to break the embarrassed silence. ‘That’s the Air Transport Auxiliary. I deliver planes.’
In that second, Lily fell in love – with the idea of a woman who could fly, with the glamour of the uniform, with the thought of being able to be on an equal footing with the men. It was if the clouds suddenly parted and she could see miles and miles of blue sky and a chance for women like her to soar.
‘My name’s Lily,’ she stammered, and then came out with a torrent of questions, each merging into the next. How did she get to be an ATA pilot, what did she fear most, how did she deal with all the male prejudice, which aircraft was the best to fly? She could not stop.
‘Woah,’ the girl laughed. ‘One question at a time.’
Roberta explained to Lily that she was brought up on a farm in Norfolk. She paused and then went on to explain that her only brother had died at birth, leaving her to take on a huge range of tasks on the farm from mending and driving tractors, to organising the farmworkers.
‘You see, there was no one else,’ she patiently explained. ‘I was never treated like a girl.’
When the farm was extended, she added, her father agreed to pay for flying lessons so they could spray the crops from the air. It sounded the most natural thing on earth to have flying lessons, Lily thought, remembering her own father struggling to pay for piano lessons for her as a child. The girl had no idea what effect her matter-of-fact revelations were having on her captivated audience.
‘My name may be Roberta, but I prefer Bobby,’ she said, leaning over to whisper.
Lily ran the name over her tongue; even her name sounded glamorous. Bobby smiled at Lily’s blatant admiration and then tried to reply to the succession of breathless questions that were fired at her.
‘Once I heard about the ATA, I couldn’t resist the chance to fly to help the war effort. It beats knitting socks,’ Bobby laughed. Lily cringed at the memory of her disastrous attempts at knitting in the morning room at home. She felt completely inadequate. She had never felt
the need to compete with men as to her they obviously had a very defined role in society that was different from hers, but here was a woman, a girl even, taking on the men at their own level.
Lily concentrated again, wanting to drink in every single word. Bobby was telling her how her flying experience had meant she was snapped up and had been fulfilling the unofficial motto of ‘Anything to Anywhere’ ever since. She leaned over to Lily and whispered, ‘We girls say the ATA stands for “Always Terrified Airwomen” but we don’t tell the men that.’
‘So what . . . I mean . . . how . . . I mean, it’s so unusual for a woman to fly. Is it difficult?’
Bobby was used to being scorned by men who hated seeing a woman taking the controls of a Spitfire or a Wellington, so to see the naked admiration in the young woman’s face was a welcome change.
‘No, not really,’ she replied, thinking about it. ‘I think learning to fly one plane is quite easy really, which is what RAF pilots generally do. We’ve got to learn to fly over a hundred,’ she said proudly. ‘The problems come when the weather changes. We’re not allowed to fly above the clouds, which is quite difficult sometimes and we have no radios, which makes it hard if we get into difficulties, and of course we don’t get to hear if barrage balloons are suddenly put up or if the enemy’s been spotted nearby. Maybe that’s a good thing though,’ she laughed.
‘What’s it like, up there?’ Lily almost whispered in reverence.
Bobby was about to give the usual spiel about it being fine, nothing out of the ordinary really for a girl who had been flying since she was sixteen, when she glimpsed the world that she took for granted from this young woman’s perspective. She closed her eyes and Lily followed suit. Bobby whisked her mentally away from the ground at Upper Heyford and up into the sky above them.
‘It’s . . . it’s incredible. I feel the controls in my hands, the throb of the engine under my feet and I look towards the runway knowing I can whizz over it in a matter of seconds and then that moment when I lift the wheels up . . . there is nothing like it in the whole world. It’s as if I was an angel, taking my wings and flying off into the unknown. I feel as if nothing can touch me – although, to be honest, we’re at risk from the enemy just like any other pilot, but for some reason, I never worry about that. I am in control and nothing can hurt me.’
‘Is this what you were waiting for?’ The desk officer burst their reverie. He was looking at them both as if they were unhinged. He handed a sheet of paper to Bobby.
‘Oh, thank you,’ Bobby stood up. Lily was staring at the man as if she was surprised to see another human being standing there, in this, her dream world.
‘Goodbye, Lily, it’s been nice to meet you,’ said Bobby, and as an afterthought, she added, ‘Go for your dreams, Lily. No one can deny you the chance to try. You know, you could apply to join the ATA. They’ve introduced what’s called the Ab Initio programme and are looking for people who’ve never flown but are interested in learning.’ With that she swept out of the guard-room.
Lily got hurriedly to her feet. She muttered something to the desk officer about having got it wrong about any message, but he stopped her leaving and gave her a second piece of paper. ‘Well, as long as you’re here, you can take this over to the control tower.’ She grabbed it and ran out to catch Bobby up.
‘Where do I find out about this programme?’ she asked breathlessly.
‘Just talk to the powers that be, they’ll sort you out,’ Bobby replied.
‘I will, I will, thank you so much . . . and, Bobby, we may never meet again but I want to say you are the most amazing woman I have ever met and you may have changed my life. I will never, ever forget you.’
With that Lily fled across the camp. In a daze, she delivered the message to the control tower, staring blankly at the hand that reached out to take it and then signed on automatically.
‘In love,’ the flight lieutenant mouthed to the telephone operator as Lily walked into the door on her way to her Morse station.
Chapter 32
1st November 1943
Dear Lily,
Thanks for your letter, I was so sorry to hear about your friend. It is really hard to lose people. I know you couldn’t tell me what happened or much about it but I felt how upset you were and I hope you are coping better, especially now you are in your new post. In a strange way, moving on might be a good thing because you have so much to concentrate on that you just don’t have time to think about the past. I am fine but it’s really cold and wet. It’s been a bit of a mission recently and we too have lost some good men, one of them, I am afraid to say, was Frank, so we are down to 2Js now, which is hard. I am finding it increasingly difficult to remember a time before this war. I wonder how long it will last. I heard from Mum and Dad last week and it was so nice to have news from home. I am looking forward to some leave shortly, just a few days and we can’t go very far, but it will be a welcome break to get away for a bit. I wish I could come home. Manchester seems a long way away.
I received your mum’s cake, do thank her for me. It was really nice of her to send it and I shared it out to the lads, who were very grateful.
I heard that the Citizen was lost off Accra in July. That must have been terrible for Liners. I wonder how they are all doing in the office. Most of the youngsters will be away at war now so I presume Mr Spencer is having to make his own tea.
The girls seem fine, they write regularly, although as we are moving on, it is hard to catch up with post and sometimes it takes ages to reach us so I feel I’m way behind with all your news by the time I get it. They are both still home-based and I think Pam is getting frustrated, but she is better off there.
I hope you settle in to your new station. I know it’s hard to move on, but you will hold on to the friends that matter.
Must go now, but do take care of yourself. We have our whole lives to enjoy when this is all over.
Love,
Danny x
Danny put more feeling into that little cross at the end of his letter than she would ever know. He was almost at the end of his tether. The death of Frank had devastated him. It had happened so suddenly and was a prime example of the waste of war. Frank had been in a truck further up the convoy and they had struck a mine. The explosion ricocheted down the narrow valley that they were in and Danny had ground his vehicle to its slow, heavy halt, holding his breath. The Germans had blown everything up in their path, knowing that the allies had little choice but to travel up the narrow gorges. The troops had been constructing Bailey bridges to cross rivers, hurriedly fitting together the pieces of light steel to let the convoys of artillery make their way north. There had been five casualties and he had watched the medics taking the bodies away with the detachment that had etched itself into all their hardened hearts but later, when he went to find Frank, he was told that he had been one of those hit. It was a moment when the hopelessness of war threatened to completely overwhelm him, and Danny had to go for a long walk round the perimeter of the camp. He desperately wanted to go further away from anything with khaki on it to see some normal foliage but the rules were strict. Looking over the letter, Danny realised he had not been able to litter it with his usual off-hand exclamation marks or quips. He felt a deep connection with Lily and her loss and despite a slight quiver of fear wondering whether Lily’s dead ‘friend’ had been male, he sent her a hug across the continents.
Chapter 33
Lily folded Danny’s letter. It had taken so long to reach her and there was no sign of the ebullience that had dominated his early letters. It was dull in tone and there were none of the jokes she had become accustomed to. She had been hearing stories about the army moving through Sicily and suspected that was where he was. She knew there had been fierce fighting there. The detached way he described Frank’s death did not fool her for a moment. For just a brief moment, she felt her stomach lurch as she thought of the dangers Danny was facing and it brought her up sharply. She had started to think o
f Danny as a fixed point in her life, always there, a solid memory she could lean on, but the newsreels had shown a very different story. It had never occurred to her that anything would happen to Danny, but now she was beginning to fear for him. For a moment, she sat on her bunk and thought back to how off-hand she had been with him before he left. Her experiences of the last year had made her realise that not all men were as honest and reliable as Danny.
He’s fun too, she thought, as she had a flashback to him clowning about on a walk with Patch. It made her sad so she dismissed the disturbing vision and went back to her overriding obsession . . . flying.
She had managed to get the address to write to about joining the ATA from a senior officer and immediately sent off for an application form. Then she begged and borrowed as many books as she could lay her hands on to find out as much as she could about the controls and ways of flying but it only served to make her feel as if she were clasping at a cloud because she knew in her heart that the girls who were chosen for the ATA were highly qualified and much more technically capable than she was. But Lily did not like being thwarted and she wrote to her mother to express her frustration.
The reply was sympathetic but reminded her of when she informed her family she was going to be a famous ballet dancer. Her mother’s response at that time was, ‘Yes, very nice dear, but first, can you help me pod these peas.’ This time, she replied that she thought Lily would look very nice in an ATA uniform but didn’t she get travel sickness?
Lily had to find a way to achieve more than everyone seemed to expect from her.
*
Kit searched the bars in Upper Heyford every time he was off duty to try to track Lily down and although he found her friends, he failed to find Lily herself. The more she eluded him, the more determined he became and the Don Juan of the American group decided to give this intriguing girl his full attention and tried to distance himself from the willing crowd of girls who surrounded him. At the front of this crowd was Marion, who had set her sights on the attractive Yank. She used all her wiles to get his attention and was getting increasingly cross that he was ignoring her. After the first thwarted attempts she realised why he was so disinterested. He brought Lily’s name into every conversation and scanned the room regularly to check if she was there. Marion was not used to being ignored and she decided it was time for revenge. She just needed to bide her time until an opportunity arose.