Firelight glinted off his dark red hair as he sat huddled in a blanket near the fireplace. “I told the judge that day in court that I didn’t want to go live with them. You were the one that had taken care of me since Mom and Dad died, and we would still get along just fine.”
Tessa grimaced. She had hoped he wouldn’t start there, but she had left the decision up to him.
“I think he would have left us together, except for you saying you had no contact with Seth.”
She could feel Seth’s eyes swivel to hers, but she avoided his gaze.
“Anyway, Tessa, on the way home from the courthouse that day, Uncle Edwin started in with how everything was gonna change. He didn’t see any reason for me to go to some stuck-up private school when public schools had been good enough for him and Aunt Kathleen. Then he went off on the whole PlayStation thing, like all I do is play video games.”
Tessa had to smile at that one and duck her head. The truth was that would have been all he ever did had she not stepped in to make him do other things.
Zach’s brows drew together. “The first day at school, the teacher made me read aloud. Everybody laughed. So there I was, everyone treating me like I was an idiot again. I hated it, Tess. For a while at Chesterfield, I’d felt like every other kid, like I could do stuff, you know? But it wasn’t just school.
“Aunt Kathleen’s not at all like Mom, and Uncle Edwin was already talking about improvements to the house now they had the money from the trust fund.” He stopped and looked at Tessa and Seth. “I thought the money was to help me, you know, pay for education and stuff.”
“It is,” Seth said in a quiet, furious tone.
“So I heard them talking about taking a vacation to Florida for a month and finding a sitter for me. And I got mad, you know? I was mad at you too, Tessa, ‘cause when I called you just gave me all that stuff about giving it time… Well, time wasn’t gonna help. So, I decided to run away.”
“Did you go right to the marina?” Seth asked.
“No. I went to your house, but the guy next door said you were out of town. That’s when I decided to go to the marina.”
“How did you get there?” Tessa asked.
“Well, I took the train as far as I could, and then I got rides.”
“You hitchhiked?” Tessa’s voice came out as a squeak of indignation.
Zach glanced from her to Seth, who shrugged. Zach looked back at Tessa. “Yeah. So anyway, I got to the marina and snuck on the Wistful. I wasn’t going to take her out, but then I decided I would show everyone I knew what I was doing, that I wasn’t just some dumb kid. And when I left, the weather was okay.”
“Well you did the right thing in finding shelter where you did,” Seth interjected, “and you showed the sense to know conditions were beyond you and your boat’s capabilities. A lot of adults don’t do that.”
Tessa sipped her tea as she listened to Seth. He was right. For all the mistakes Zach had made, he also made some great choices as well. She smiled at her brother. “Seth’s right about that, and I’m proud of you.”
“Nevertheless,” Seth stated, “you ran away without telling anyone where you were going, and you stole a boat. Because the police and the Coast Guard had to get involved, we won’t be able to pretend it never happened.”
“Will I go to jail?” Zach’s voice was small.
Seth shook his head, but he wasn’t going to cut her brother any slack either. “I doubt that. But you may have to go to court. A lot of people spent a lot of time and taxpayer money searching for you.”
“I don’t want to go back to Aunt Kathleen and Uncle Edwin.” Zach’s brows drew together and his chin took on a stubborn look.
Seth glanced at Tessa and then back at her brother. “I think we’ll be able to fix that, but that’s not something we need to worry about tonight. We’ll handle it once we get home. Now why don’t you get tucked in there good on the floor? I’ll add a couple more logs and you can watch the fire while you go to sleep.”
Zach stood up and came over to Seth, climbed up on his lap and hugged him. “I love you, Seth.”
So simple. Zach had always made it so simple to show love. Tessa watched as the two hugged each other.
Seth’s eyes closed and he swallowed. “I love you too, buddy,” he whispered hoarsely.
And Tessa never doubted that. This man had always made time for Zach, had always treated him with affection no one could doubt was anything other than genuine.
Zach hugged her after that. Tessa squeezed him. “No matter what you ever do, Zach, I will always love you. You know that, right?”
He nodded against her neck and sat back. “I wish…” He looked at both of them. “I wish I could live with both of you.” He stood up. “I gotta go to the bathroom before bed.”
“There’s a small one in the front hall, under the stairs,” Seth told him.
When he left the room, the silence stretched until Tessa thought she would scream. When she could stand it no longer, she blurted, “Can we talk?”
Chapter 18
They were the words he’d waited to hear. For a change, he wasn’t the one saying them. Tessa had. Seth thought it would take Zach forever to go to sleep. After he went to the bathroom, then he needed a drink of water, and following that, he had to go to the bathroom again. And the whole time, Seth could hardly keep his eyes, let alone his hands, off Tessa. She was so beautiful in the firelight with her hair falling around her shoulders and the swell of her ripening body, like a flower blossom on the verge of full-bloom.
He saw her put a hand to her belly and realized the baby must have kicked. Seth longed to be able to put his hands there, feel what she felt. He rubbed his palm over his chest, looking around the room, its furnishings highlighted by the dancing light of the fireplace. It felt like a home and a family. His family. Yes, he wanted to talk to Tessa, wanted to convince her to stay with him, marry him, let him love her like he longed to do. She had come to him for help. He had to be able to take that as a sign she felt something for him.
She caught him staring, and his face heated as he made himself hold her gaze. He wanted her to see what he felt. She was his. No matter how this turned out, she would always be his in his heart.
She didn’t look away. Her cheeks were flushed. He didn’t know if that was from the fire or from her feelings. He hoped it was the latter, hoped she was as torn out of her frame at this moment as he was. If he’d been a boat, he’d have been floundering. Hell, he felt like he was anyway, floundering in fifty-foot waves that were about to crest over top of him. Seth swallowed, his nerves stretching to breaking point, and glanced back at Zach. Much as he loved the kid, if he didn’t go to sleep soon, Seth might have to knock him out.
At last, Zach settled into sleep. Seth patted the spot next to him on the couch, holding his breath as he wondered whether Tessa would take up his invitation. There was such uncertainty as she moved closer to him. His heart pounded and he felt his body stir with need. God, he didn’t want her to think that was all he wanted. She was so much more than a lover. Seth wanted all of her, in every part of his life she was willing to share. When her arms burrowed around him and she rested her head against his chest, he leaned his against the back of the couch and released a deep, shuddering sigh. He blinked. He wouldn’t cry. Would. Not. With a bit of hesitation, he brought his hand down and stroked it over the silky curtain of her hair. He wanted her here, like this, forever, but there were things they needed to take care of. Hurts that needed to be healed, and air that needed to be cleared.
“Are you ready to talk?” he asked. His voice shook. As much as he might want to sound strong, right now he was on the edge with the knowledge that the next few minutes would change their futures.
* * * *
It felt right lying in his arms with the fire crackling, the soft sound of Zach’s breathing, and Seth’s warm, solid body to lean on. Tessa would have liked to stay as they were right at that moment. But she needed some answers from him, and she
had things to say. Things that weren’t easy for her. As she tried to figure out where to start, the baby rolled in her belly. Seth must have felt it too because he shifted and looked down at her.
“Was that our baby?”
His eyes were wide, hungry, haunted, and it made her want to cry at how selfish she had been. Tessa nodded and pulled the hand he rested on the arm of the couch over to place it on her stomach. After a minute, the baby rewarded them with a hard kick.
“Jesus!” Seth’s voice held awe. His hand stroked over the sweatshirt. With his other arm, he hugged her closer to him. “That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve felt. No wonder you look tired if all that’s going on inside you all the time.”
Some of her tension eased. He wasn’t angry with her. Tessa chuckled. “Not all the time, but he’s been very active today.
“You know it’s a boy?” His wide-eyed glance dropped to his hand resting on the swell of their child.
Tessa shook her head. “No. Not yet. I…I have an appointment tomorrow for an ultrasound. Would you… That is… Do you want to go with me?”
His eyes lifted from her belly, where he was obviously still watching to see if he could see the baby move, to her face. “I can’t think of anything I would rather do.”
Tessa nodded. Something warm blossomed inside her. She felt as if a part of her she’d locked up for a long time, maybe since that day someone had shut her in that tack trunk, turned loose. More than that, she at last accepted what she’d suspected when she’d shown up on Seth’s doorstep seeking help to find Zach. He was a man she could trust. He wouldn’t betray her, and he would always be there when she needed him. He would have been there even sooner, but she was the one who’d kept pushing him away until she’d pushed him right out of her life. And still he had come back.
They were silent for a while, both staring into the fire. Seth moved his hand over hers where it still rested on her stomach and cleared his throat. “My grandfather and my grandmother bought this house not long after they got married. My grandmother said she wanted a place near the water for her children to be able to grow strong playing in the sun and the salt air. She was unlike any of the rest of my family, and I mean that in a very complimentary way. In some respects, she reminded me a lot of Anna. She was a tiny lady with a heart so big. She was not afraid to go toe-to-toe with anyone, including my grandfather. She reminds me a lot of you in that way. As much as she and my grandfather disagreed, when it came right down to it, they were friends as well as lovers.
“I guess what I’m trying to say here…” He glanced over at her with a small smile. “…is I want to find that same thing with you. I already know we’re good in bed, but I also want you as my friend, my very best friend. Do you think we can find that?”
Tessa stared into his clouded, golden eyes. “I think we can. I couldn’t have said that even a few weeks ago, Seth. You know about Peter. You’ve seen Aunt Kathleen and Uncle Edwin firsthand. So I hope you can also see why I’ve had a hard time trusting other people. That changed when I met you, even as much as you growled and snapped at me. I felt like I was able to put my trust in you, but then you threw it back at me. Until Zach came to you, you believed I had stolen money from you. I wanted to trust you, and that was a deal breaker.”
He stirred, started to say something, but Tessa put her fingers over his lips to stop him. “No. Let me finish. It’s difficult for me to talk about my emotions. I’ve spent so much time holding back and hiding them. You’ve been there for both of us whenever I’ve asked–like tonight–and I think my subconscious already knew that. That’s why I came to you.”
Seth pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his eyes. “I’ve had a hard time dealing with this because I didn’t want to believe the worst of you. I also didn’t want to believe the worst of my father. There didn’t seem to be any middle ground. I either believed you, which made my father a manipulative liar, or I believed him–and you became the guilty party.”
Seth leaned forward, staring somberly into the fire. “My father called me about the missing money while I was out of town. I told him you were responsible for making and paying for travel arrangements from that account. I also told him it must be a clerical error because you would never embezzle money.”
“Thanks for saying that,” Tessa said.
“You can imagine my surprise,” Seth continued, “when Tallmadge called back to say you’d admitted it and she had escorted you from the building.”
“What!” Tessa hissed, trying to keep her voice down so she wouldn’t wake Zach. “I never admitted taking the money, but I did know about it. I had discovered it in my account and called my bank several times to have them trace where it came from. I had just discovered it was from the travel account and asked for an immediate transfer back to that account when your father asked to see me.”
Seth’s gaze was solemn. “And you were beginning to suspect it was Zach, am I right?”
Tessa nodded. “Yes, but I wasn’t sure. And I never admitted taking it.”
Seth ran his fingers over his short hair. Tessa could feel the hurt pour off of him like steam rolling out of a sauna. “I thought my father had turned over a new leaf. He seemed to, where Anna was concerned, but this convinces me I was right to quit. He’ll never stop trying to manipulate us. I think sometimes he looks at all of his children, including me, as pieces on a chess board to be moved and positioned at his will.” Seth shook his head and leaned it against the back of the couch. “So much wasted time. And now I sit here wondering if I’ve lost the woman I love…”
He turned his head to look at her and touched her cheek with tenderness. “I do love you. I think I have from the moment you first walked into my office and I realized you weren’t intimidated. You were willing to stand up to me and my bullying.” He sighed. “God, Tessa, even if you can’t love me anymore after all that’s happened, please let me help you with our baby. I promise I’ll keep you away from my father, hell, from my whole family if that’s what you want. I’ve stayed away myself the last few months, just keeping in touch with Anna and Brandon. My life’s headed in a different direction, one I promise would have room for you and Zach…and our baby.”
Could she open her heart and finally trust him? Love him? How could she not?
“Give me a chance, Tessa.” Seth’s gaze revealed a hunger, a yearning that was almost painful to see. “We could live by the ocean if you’d like. I’ve had this dream for a long time of owning and running a small weekly newspaper somewhere. I’ve put a bid in on the paper where my beach house is…”
Tessa put her fingertips over his mouth. She swallowed. “We can figure that out later. There’s something else we need to do right now.”
Seth turned his head to stare at her. “Is that a yes? You’ll marry me?”
She nodded, feeling tears well. “I love you, Seth. I think I have from the moment I saw how torn up you were about that package. If that didn’t do it, then the way you included Zach…” She swallowed and cradled his beard-roughened cheeks between her palms. “I love you, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t admit it earlier. I’m so sorry I pushed you away.”
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. They sat there like that for several minutes.
“Seth?”
“Hmm?”
“How cold is it in the other rooms?”
He glanced up at the ceiling. “Well, the master bedroom’s right above us. It will get some warmth from radiant heat.” He smiled. “If we had several blankets, I’m sure we could snuggle together for warmth on the bed.”
“And have a little privacy.”
* * * *
It was cold in the big bedroom upstairs, but that didn’t matter. They disrobed each other, taking their time at it, as Seth marveled at the changes in her body and honoring those changes with kisses and caresses. Did she know how beautiful she was like this? He had loved her body before, but now he worshiped it.
“I thought you were sexy when you first came to
work for me, but it’s nothing compared to now. Your breasts have ripened along with your belly. You are everything that’s beautiful, Tessa.”
She ran her hands over his chest, and he shivered with need, his cock swelling until it ached. “Right now, what I want to feel is you inside me.”
He ran his hands over her stomach. “We won’t hurt the baby?”
She shook her head. He dipped his head until his mouth slanted over hers. Passion roared through him and he doubted he could hold out. It had been too long and his body throbbed with the need to be next to her, skin to skin, to be able to slide inside of her and feel her surrounding him. Seth guided her to the big bed and followed her down on it. His body quivered with desire and the control he attempted to maintain. After several long, hot kisses, during which he massaged her breasts and nipples, he knelt between her spread thighs.
“I can’t wait,” he admitted. “We can take our time later, but for now, I need to be inside you.”
She reached up to caress his chest with her hands. “Don’t wait. I want to feel you there, Seth. I need it too. Need to feel you move inside me, come inside me.”
He groaned as he pushed forward, his hips moving with exquisite care as he held himself up on his arms so he could stare into her eyes. Outside, the rain and sleet tapped against the windows, and inside they both moaned with passion long denied.
“Don’t hold back,” she whispered. “Let me feel all of you.”
His whole body tightened and his breath came out on a groan. As he stared down into Tessa’s soft smile and her glowing eyes, he pushed deep and let his seed fill her. They would do this again. The future no longer seemed like one monotonous, lonely road. Tessa would walk it with him. And along with her would be their family–Zach, the baby she carried, and even more children down the road.
“Be with me, sweetheart. Walk with me the rest of our lives.”
“I love you, Seth,” Tessa whispered in his ear, her fingers stroking over his head.
They were most beautiful words he’d ever heard.
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