“And at last you reply.” Maria had answered almost immediately. “I thought you would. Even you know when you’re onto a good thing.”
“Why are you doing this?” Kris hissed into the phone. “Why don’t you leave me alone, for fuck’s sake?” She had intended to be cool, calm, collected, but her barriers had immediately collapsed as soon as she heard Maria on the other end.
This elicited a laugh from her tormentor. “Keeping your voice down? Is he there?”
“No he’s not! You don’t think I’d be having this conversation with you if Daniel was in the room. Why don’t you leave me alone—leave us alone?”
Another laugh. “You really don’t know him, do you. You don’t know what he’s capable of, what he’ll demand of you. If you’re not his slave yet, don’t kid yourself you’re his mistress. You’re just his whore, and he’ll take what he wants soon enough. He’ll pay well, but that’s all you are.”
Without interrupting this tirade, Kris could hardly believe what she was hearing. “Is that it?” she asked at last. “Are you jealous? Is that fucking it? Why don’t you leave me alone?” She had been prepared to launch into an attack all of her own, to tell Maria that she was the one who didn’t understand Daniel Stone, let alone Daniel Logan. In the end, however, she could not be bothered. The woman was clearly crazy.
Her reply, however, threw her.
“It’s not what you think,” Maria replied. “When first I came to Lisbon, I was glad to see Daniel, of course. I won’t lie. I’ve never entirely lost my feelings for him. But… you don’t get it, do you.”
Kris was about to speak but said nothing. She was only listening this to keep a secret, so that Daniel wouldn’t find out. At last, she released an exasperated sigh.
“You don’t get it Kris. I’ve often… played these games, of submission and domination. But that’s what it is, Play acting. For both parties. Even… even in the most… perverse situations.”
“I don’t really want to hear about your sexual problems,” Kris muttered sarcastically. This was more than enough.
“Wait! Don’t hang up. I just want to say this, and then think about it for a while, but I need to know, I need to speak to you. You… you don’t fake it, Kris.”
“Oh, stop calling me that! Did I tell you you could call me that?”
“I’m sorry.” There was something weird about Maria’s tone, and though Kris couldn’t put her finger on what it was precisely, it made her feel very strange inside. “You don’t fake it. I just want to let you know that. When you… give yourself, you do it completely. I can understand what Daniel…”
“Don’t you dare mention his name! Don’t you dare fucking mention him! The only reason I’m listening to you now is because you threatened to tell him. What happened that night was a mistake—do you understand? A fucking mistake!”
To her horror, Kris heard the elevator that led to the apartment ping. The doors had not opened yet, but in a moment they would. In a panic, she switched off her phone immediately and went to the window, looking out across the grey, London skyline.
Daniel emerged from the elevator. “Is everything okay?” he asked. “I thought I heard shouting.”
Kris turned and looked at him, as breezily as she could, her arms behind her as she clutched her phone in her hand. “Oh, stupid me,” she said. The lie came almost effortlessly. “I broke something and was mad at myself.”
“Not your father’s…” Daniel’s face was horrified for a moment.
“No! God, no! Just a glass, that’s all!”
She wanted to laugh at the expression on his face, more because it was so sweet than anything. Instead, as he came across to embrace her, she dipped her face to hide from him her desire to cry.
Chapter Fourteen
Fortunately for Kris, over the next week the texts and phone calls began to diminish. Yet every day when Daniel returned from a meeting or event her heart became a heavy stone inside her and her stomach wrenched sickeningly. Was this the day when Maria would reveal what had happened to him?
It felt strange being back in London as well. It had only been a couple of months since she had packed away her old life and moved to Lisbon, but already it felt like a lifetime had passed. One of the things that struck her most was the realization that once she had given up the lease on her old flat there was nothing of hers in London anymore. The family home where she had grown up with her father had long been sold, and even trivial things such as her desk at Hardy, Briskin and Sorrell would now have been passed over to someone new.
Not that she was particularly filled with any desire to return to her old place of work. That had been a job, nothing more, sometimes a painful one. In any case, presenting herself would have had unfortunate consequences in that now she was associated with the very wealthy owner of the firm. Whatever sense of victory that would have given her only shortly before was now utterly diminished. Like so many things in London, it was one of the things that had simply been discarded.
What surprised her most, perhaps, was how few friends she wished to visit or see. There were a few acquaintances from her days as a student, but she had drifted away from most of them. She could see clearly now that it had been her own disappointment in herself, her envy even, that had soured those relationships. As for former work colleagues, those mattered as little to her as her old desk at HBS.
When she had first met Daniel—Logan rather than Stone—she had been particularly struck by how misanthropic he had appeared to her, rejecting everyone in his croft at Comrie. His desire for solitude, his dismissal of everyone, had seemed utterly alien to her. Now she realised that for all her consideration of herself as a city girl, she was in fact as much a loner as he. Surrounding yourself with bodies was not the same as surrounding yourself with friends.
There was one person, however, that she missed, one friend who had remained steadfast through the years. When she called on Anne, the one person she still maintained contact with from her days as an art student at Saint Martins, she could not express her own happiness when her friend answered the door, smiling and eager to see you.
“I couldn’t believe it when you phoned,” Anne said, bundling her up the stairs that led to her flat. “I mean, when I found out it was Daniel Stone you were seeing… Okay, I must be honest, at first I had no idea of what the name meant, but then I did a quick search and found out that he’s a very wealthy hotshot… Wow! Go into the lounge while I get a drink. Excuse the mess!”
And messy it was. When last she had been here, Kris had perched precariously among the old magazines and unclean cups, her face as prim and pert as a Calvinist preacher in a brothel. But now she thought of her own studio in Alfama and was much more forgiving. Because Kris’s life had for so long teetered on the edge of chaos and collapse, she had banished the trappings of mess and untidiness to a degree that, she now realised, itself bordered on psychopathology. Not that she particularly approved of just how untidy Anne’s flat was, but she realised now more than ever how a little chaos was needed to create. It helped, however, if that chaos operated within a firmer stability. That was what she thought she was achieving with Daniel, which was why the business with Maria had left her so disconcerted.
Anne returned through with a cup and this time Kris did not look at it but took a gulp of coffee. It was a cup of friendship—that was how it was offered and how Kris wished to accept it.
“So, what’s he like?” Anne asked, her eyes glittering with excitement. That was it, she was in full gossip mode as far as Kris could see.
“How are things with Andrew?” Kris asked by way of reply. She could not resist a smile as her friend waved a hand and almost burst at the question.
“You know how he is. Fine, fine, fine. We’re trying for a baby, actually, but that’s not what I want to talk about today.”
“Oh, really?” Kris asked, lowering her cup and staring at her friend. She didn’t know how she felt about that: at college, Anne had been one of those most set against
motherhood, as indeed was Kris herself. The pram in the hallway was the enemy of creativity and all that, as they’d all told themselves. Suddenly, however, she realised that perhaps there were still things in Anne’s life that could make her feel a little jealous.
“Stop trying to change the subject. What’s he like?”
“What do you expect me to tell you? He’s wonderful, of course.”
Anne’s expression was exasperated. “Gee, thanks. Hold the front page. New man in Kris Avelar’s life is wonderful. Actually, this is you we’re talking about, so I guess that is news. Come on, Kris… Dish a bit more of the dirt. How rich is he?”
“I don’t actually know. Rich. Very rich. Kind of astronomical, I guess, but I don’t ask about it.”
Anne was sceptical about this, but let it pass. “And he bought you a place in Lisbon?”
Kris was about to say something about this, that the reality was more complex, but to do so would involve her revealing more about her relationship with Daniel than she really wanted. It was easier to tell a half-truth. “Yes,” she replied, sipping her coffee.
“You have got it made, girl. I wish Andrew would buy me a place in Portugal.”
“I’m sure he will one day, if you ask him nicely. After the… baby, perhaps. I mean, you’re not doing badly, the two of you.”
Anne screwed up her mouth. “No, not bad, I guess, but we’re not in the same league as you.” She paused and then her eyes glittered. “What’s he like in the sack?”
Kris almost spat out her coffee as she laughed. “Fucking hell, girl. You’re blushing!” Anne picked up a cushion and playfully batted Kris across the arm, almost making her spill the rest of her drink. “You bitch! He’s rich, handsome—well, okay, not conventional, but I know you, you’ll find him better looking than most. And he’s a demon in bed is he?”
Kris could not resist this. She had not really had the chance to talk about Daniel to anyone—not in the sense of full-on, unrestricted gossip. That night with Maria hadn’t counted because she had been on her guard when they were speaking, and when her barriers had finally come down it was in the wrong way so that everything soured.
“He’s… fucking amazing,” she confided at last. “Not least of it, he’s so… big! You wouldn’t believe it!”
“How big?”
Kris gestured with her hands and Anne hit her again with the cushion. “Fuck off! That’s one of those fake fish you’re measuring, you know, the one that got away.” Anne knew Kris well enough not to hide the envious glances on her face, but also they were close enough as friends for a genuine look of pleasure for her friend’s happiness to be evident in her eyes. “And does he do it right for you?”
Kris blushed again. “I guess I found out there are… things I never realised I liked doing before.”
At this, Anne howled with laughter and then pulled up closer. “Do tell, do tell! You’re not leaving here till you do.”
Her face red all the time, but becoming more animated as she spoke, Kris told some of the things that she and Daniel had done together. Anne was spellbound, jealous and pleased, and after a while she hugged her friend—having semi-punched her at regular intervals.
By the time Kris left, her heart was light inside her and her steps were free of care and easygoing. She had not realised how much she had needed that—not confession, with all the dark and depressing undertones of a bondage of the soul that lay beneath it, but simple gossip, sharing, friendship. She had a slight feeling of dread as she turned on her mobile phone, but other than a text from Daniel saying that he would be home early, there was nothing else. That was a good thing.
When she returned to Chelsea, however, and exited the lift that led to the apartment, things did not suddenly appear so rosy. Daniel was already home and from the sound of rising voices in the room it did not appear that all was harmony here. Her hackles rose as she recognised the voice of Felix Coltraine, and for a moment she considered turning back and entering the elevator again.
She paused before going to the source of the noises.
“You can’t carry on like this, Daniel. You’re making too many fucking stupid decisions. Just because you had a good streak in the past doesn’t mean it can carry on forever. We’re fucking haemorrhaging, do you understand? You spend all your time with that tart and Stone Enterprises is suffering as a result.”
“Spend all my... fuck you, Felix. I hammered away to get that deal in New York. Day and fucking night, and you know it. And where were you? Swanning around in your fucking yacht.”
“Entertaining Wei was what I was doing. Yes, New York might buy us time, but it’s in Shanghai that you’re needed. We’re trying to run a business. What part of that don’t you understand?”
“And I thought you were handling the Shanghai end so well.” The sarcasm in Daniel’s voice was venomous. “You know what I think about that. We could get burnt much more than ever before.”
Felix paused. When he spoke again, his tone was more conciliatory. “Okay, so there’s a risk. Yes, yes... but, fuck it, Daniel... You can’t just go off running to Portugal when things get difficult. If you must spend time around that tart, at least bring her with—”
Kris had had enough of this and Felix stopped when he saw her enter the living area where both men were seated. She knew that had it just been her alone he would have done nothing to hide the contempt he felt for her, but with Daniel there he had to be much more two-faced. As she slowly walked across to near where Daniel was seated, her lover gave a contemptuous snort towards Felix and lifted a hand, angry but also possessive, towards her. As she extended her own fingers, he gripped them hard and she allowed herself to be pulled down onto the sofa beside him. His arm, when he placed it around her, was both protective and assertive. She’s mine. Kris was not entirely certain how she felt about this: part of her was thrilled, but another part felt uneasy.
Felix shook his head and looked down at the floor. Whatever argument they had engaged in was now lost for him, though watching him Kris had the sense that, like Daniel, he was not one to take defeat in a battle as the end of the war.
Ignoring him for a moment, Daniel turned to her. His eyes were glaring, angry, but he forced a smile and asked: “And how was your day, dear?”
“Good, thank you. I was doing tarty things with friends.” She looked at Felix as she spoke.
He raised his head and shook it. “I overstepped the mark, I admit it. I’m sorry.” Anne had never had anyone apologise to her in a way that sounded so unapologetic.
“Yes, you did.” Daniel’s jaw was clenched after he had spoken, and his words were almost forced out.
“What’s happened, Daniel?” Felix had obviously decided to ignore Kris, his gaze fixed entirely on Daniel. “You and I always made a point about speaking openly about everything. Nothing was to come between us and the business. Nothing. Ever.”
“You’re problem, Felix, is that you just think that everyone who you can’t use is worthless.” Daniel’s voice was calm, but in that calmness Kris could sense his fury.
“And I wonder where I picked up that trait?” Felix’s scorn was palpable. Kris wanted to speak, but she didn’t know what to say in this battle of wills between the two men.
“Not from me. No, Felix. I can be a cunt, I know it. Fuck it, I’m proud of it. But it’s never been all of me. This isn’t the first time for me, remember that.” Kris’s heart shot into her mouth when he said this, but then she told herself: He means Karen. It’s Karen he’s talking about.
Shaking his head, Felix stood up. He would make a tactical withdrawal, but it would be no more than that, Kris realised. She had changed the balance of the engagement, but Felix would be sure to engage his partner on territory more advantageous to himself next time. He looked at the two of them, his final words addressed to Kris. As he looked at her, even with Daniel beside her the coldness in his eyes made something shrivel up inside her.
“I get that you make him feel good,” he told her, “but th
is isn’t just about how Daniel feels. I’ve covered for him before, when he sneaks off for a month at a time, but this is getting past a joke. If he can’t do without you, so be it. But if you have any feelings for him at all, then make sure you stay with him and get him to where he needs to be.” Without even looking towards Daniel, he turned on his heel and walked away towards the elevator.
“Yeah, Felix. Fuck you!” Daniel shouted after him, his arm clenching Kris’s shoulders so tight that he hurt her for a minute. Felix did not even look back at them, simply raising a single finger as he flipped an insulting gesture.
“Fuck him. Fuck him!” Daniel stood immediately once they heard the elevator doors open and began to pace backwards and forwards, caged in his own apartment.
“What was that all about?” Kris asked, carefully. She could feel Daniel’s mood like a wave of hatred emanating in an aura from his body. Indeed, when he looked towards her after she had asked the question his eyes were blazing at her. But only for a moment. The fire inside them died and he raised his hands to his face, rubbing at his eyelids.
“We’ve had a disagreement, that’s all. Business matters. Nothing important in the end.”
“It sounded important, at least Felix seemed to think so. But... why here?”
Daniel gave a half smile. “He’s been trying to arrange this for the past week, but I’ve not wanted to talk to him. We’re having some... disagreements about what’s best for Stone Enterprises. He got sick of waiting for me, I guess, so came here.”
“I’m sorry if I caused any problems.” Kris’s voice was small, tenderly probing the difficulties she felt all around her. Daniel simply scowled at this, however.
“That was low of him,” he growled. “That was fucking low. And a lie, as well. We’d have had this argument even if you weren’t here—even if I’d never met you. It’s not about that. He’s just grasping around for ways to damage me.”
Fragile Crystal: Rubies and Rivalries (The Crystal Fragments Trilogy) Page 13