“She has a sore lady bum,” Jasmine whispers, causing Amelia to turn redder.
I grimace, only imagining what it must feel like down there. “I bet.”
“I’ve been meaning to come over—"
Wailing from inside the car stops Amelia from whatever she was about to say. She gives me a small smile before opening the car door, cooing gently at the baby. I step forward, trying to look in without intentionally meaning to.
When she steps backwards, I take one back, getting out of the way. When I see her knuckles turning white around the handle of the car seat, I step forward, reaching for the handle.
“I’ll help you inside.”
She pauses for a moment, but then nods, letting go. “Thank you. I wasn’t sure how to get the shopping out as I didn’t want to leave him in the car after…” Her gaze goes across the road, and I know what she’s thinking. I don’t blame her. I informed Beau of what the kid did, and he’s told me to report him next time.
“You can stay for dinner,” Jasmine announces, taking my free hand.
My stomach grumbles in response, and Amelia laughs as she slams her boot closed. “I do owe you a thank you.”
“You don’t, but I never turn down food.” I grin, but it drops when a thought occurs to me. “You can cook, right?”
I’ve learnt my lesson: don’t believe something tastes good just because it looks good. Charlotte taught me that the first time she cooked for me. The other times I fell for her food doesn’t count.
And if Amelia’s a good cook, maybe we could become good friends. Since I never see Lily now, I have time to spare and no one to feed me.
“I can,” she reveals. “And I do owe you a thank you. I put you in an awkward position. What you did for me, for us, I’m grateful.” She pauses, stopping to give me her full attention. “I still can’t believe you managed to unpack and arrange everything how I would have it. You even sorted his room out for me. Thank you doesn’t seem enough for what you have done.”
When he begins to stir again, I bring the car seat up higher so we’re nearly eye level. His tiny face is scrunched up, his bottom lip trembling. He has his mum’s eyes, yet somehow, darker.
“Be good for your mum,” I tell him, taken aback when he suddenly stops, his lips puckering as he sucks on nothing. I glance up at Amelia, answering her. “Don’t mention it.”
Heat creeps up my neck when I think of what I saw that day. No guy should ever witness that.
From the stories I heard from my relatives, they had all been by their other half’s side when they were in labour. But then, my family are nuts, so no wonder they volunteered to witness that torture.
No wonder they say, once you have kids, your sex life is ruined. I’ve not been able to fuck anyone since. Tammy, the chick I fuck on a regular basis, was ready to go the other night. I had my trousers down to my ankles, condom rolled on, but the minute she spread her legs, all I could picture was Amelia giving birth. I had to make up an excuse that I had to feed the cat. It didn’t matter that she knew I don’t have a pet. I had to get out of there.
She pushes the door open, letting Jasmine run ahead of her. I follow her into the kitchen, watching as she places the bags down on the counter.
“Mummy, I’m hungry,” Jasmine whines, as I hear the television start up.
When the baby starts to cry again, Amelia sags a little against the counter, looking utterly worn out.
“Do you want me to help with anything?” I ask before I can stop myself. There’s just something about seeing her look so tired, so rushed, that has me wanting to help.
“You’ve done too much already, and I’m still unsure why,” she announces as she bends down, giving me a line of sight down her top when she unbuckles the baby. Her tits look bigger than I remember, and they were generous before. I inwardly groan and force myself not to react when she straightens with him in her arms. I place the car seat down on the floor and step back to watch as she gently rocks him until he settles.
“Mummy,” Jasmine cries. “I’m hungry.”
I chuckle, moving further into the kitchen. “What does she have for dinner? I’ll put it on.”
She arches an eyebrow. “You can cook?”
Sheepishly, I give her a one arm shrug. “Not really but it’s always edible.”
There’s laughter in her eyes when she glances at me. “Here. Hold Asher.”
I go to refuse but the baby is in my arms before a breath escapes through my lips. “W-what? Why don’t I cook?”
He’s as light as I remember and fits perfectly as his head rests into the crook of my arm, his body the size of my forearm.
“He’s so tiny,” I murmur.
“He’s lost a little weight.”
My head shoots up at that. “Is he okay?”
Smiling as she turns the oven on, she nods. “It’s normal.”
I nod, relaxing slightly. His eyes sparkle up at me, and he’s now blowing raspberries. I smile, rocking him gently. Then what she says penetrates. “Asher?” I like it. It’s a manly, strong name; not some name that will guarantee he spends his school years getting bullied.
“Yes,” she replies quietly.
“And he has your name,” Jasmine announces, walking into the room. She jumps up onto the stool, reaching for a strawberry out of the bowl.
“What?”
Amelia reddens. “My grandfather’s name was Asher. It meant a lot to my dad that I gave him that name. And you delivered him,” she explains, shrugging. “When he asks who he’s named after, I’ll get to tell him about his grandfather, and about the guy who delivered him and did something so huge for me and his sister. This house would never have been ready for his arrival if it weren’t for you and your family. I’m not even sure who I should be thanking or how I can ever repay you all.”
A lump forms in my throat as I stare down at the bundle in my arms. “Asher Maddox,” I whisper before looking at his mum. “You don’t have to thank anyone. They wanted to help. Although, I will warn you, my mum is wanting to meet you.”
She smiles, staring longingly at me, and I can’t look away. What she’s done means a lot. The intensity isn’t lost on either of us.
Her gaze, soft and relaxed, goes from me to Asher, and a flash of sadness resides there. “I’d love to meet your mum.”
“So, are we eating?” Jasmine asks, breaking the tension, and I chuckle, walking over to ruffle her hair.
“Yes. I’m starving.”
Amelia snorts. “Then I guess I should get cooking.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
AMELIA
I can’t believe he’s here. Embarrassment floods my cheeks whenever I catch him looking at me. I just keep picturing the horrified expression he had when he looked between my legs. A part of me is just amused, but the other, the part that is extremely attracted to him, is mortified. Out of all the people I could have gone into labour in front of, it had to be the hot neighbour.
I still don’t understand my attraction to him. How can I be attracted to someone after all I have been through? But the evidence is there, seeping between my legs, and I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I catch a glimpse of him. How can a stranger—a beautiful stranger—become someone I am so drawn to?
He is charming, and he is funny, but I had someone before with those qualities. I know how someone can hide their true colours.
And yet, even as those thoughts run through my head, I know deep in my soul that he’s different. He isn’t hiding who he is—even though he is a little nuts.
Mum has been on at me to date for months. She said even if I don’t want a relationship, I have to try to get out there, to socialise. I’m terrified of being with another man, but yet, I can’t deny there is something inside of me that needs to prove I can move on—even if it’s only a dinner date.
I don’t want to live my life scared, petrified I’ll never feel sexy again, that I’ll never feel intimacy or love. But mostly, I’m scared Cameron not only damaged me physically
, but mentally, and I’ll forever let my past rule my future. I don’t want that for myself, and I don’t want it for my kids.
Right now, I’m glad I don’t have to think about any of it. I have a new home, and two beautiful children to concentrate on.
It still doesn’t stop me from being attracted to Maddox, however hard I’ve tried not to be. And what makes him more appealing is everything he did for me that day, rearranging my home and unpacking. It’s the way he held my son and the way he looked at me like I handed him the world when I told him Asher’s full name. To me, giving Asher his name wasn’t enough appreciation or recognition, and I wish I could do more.
Setting the plates down on the table, I take a deep breath. “Dinner’s ready!” I call out.
A smile spreads across my face as Jasmine’s feet stomp towards me. She skids to a stop at the table, smiling wide. “Cottage pie.” She pumps her fists in the air. “Yes!”
“That smells amazing,” Maddox praises, walking in. He stops at a chair, his pupils dilating somewhat at the food set in the middle.
“Are you okay?” I ask, a little concerned.
He licks his lips and reluctantly looks away. “Sorry, it’s been a long time since I’ve had a home-cooked meal.”
Instantly, I feel bad. Since we got back from the hospital, I’ve been meaning to go over and invite him over for dinner. I don’t have much to give, but cooking I can do. It was the fear of him thinking I might be coming onto him that stopped me from heading over there to invite him. I heard him tell his uncle he didn’t find me attractive. It was humiliating. I don’t think I could handle another rejection, even if it was a misleading one.
“If I’m not working, you’re more than welcome to come for dinner.”
He grins, taking a seat. “Thanks. I will.” He piles a large portion on his plate before frowning. “Is Asher okay on his own?”
Smiling at his concern, I nod. “He is. I’ll hear him if he—” Asher picks that moment to start crying. I wait for a minute, hoping he’ll go back to sleep. When he doesn’t, Maddox goes to get up, but I stop him, waving him off. “I’ll go feed him. I thought he’d go back to sleep. I won’t be long.”
His brows pull together. “Feed him here.”
I pause before leaving, wondering if he’s serious. Not everyone is comfortable with women breastfeeding. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”
He’s seen everything else, so seeing a part of my breast will be nothing in comparison.
He grins. “We’re eating, it’s only fair that he eats too. My cousin tried to wait until Sunday was fed before he ate, but he learnt early on that if he did, the food would be ruined.”
My shoulders sag with relief. I wasn’t looking forward to eating heated up cottage pie. “I’ll go get him. Be back.”
I make a beeline for the living room, where Asher is wailing from his Moses basket. A smile pulls at my lips when I see him kicking his arms and legs out. His dark hair is fluffy, sticking up at the top. I cradle him in my arms, and he calms somewhat, his mouth searching for milk. I chuckle at his determination as I head back into the kitchen.
Our dining table is only a small one, since the space in here isn’t that big, but it’s perfect for me and Jasmine and one or two guests if we have any.
I take a look at Maddox and ask him one last time. “Are you sure you don’t mind me feeding him?”
He lifts his fork, waving it before diving back into his food. “This is so good,” he mumbles, taking more from the main dish.
Pulling the strap of my top down, I unclip my bra, freeing my breast. I wince at the discomfort when he latches on, going to town like he wasn’t fed only a few hours ago.
Maddox begins to choke on his food, his eyes bulging out when he looks up from his plate. “W-what!”
I knew he’d be funny about it.
“Is there something wrong with my breast?” I ask, keeping my tone light.
He chokes again, and he slams his fist over his chest as he reaches for his glass of water. He clears his throat, straightening in his seat. “No, you, um, you’ve got great—” He stops, glancing at Jasmine. When he realises he’s holding his hands up to his chest like he was cupping a pair of boobs, he slaps his hands down on the table. “Sorry.”
“I can go upstairs,” I murmur, going to stand.
He waves his hand, gesturing for me to sit down. “I didn’t think you’d, um, you know, get them out. I thought you would have a bottle.”
It’s amusing how he keeps trying to avoid looking but is failing. It isn’t like he can see much. Asher has my entire nipple in his mouth.
“You’ve gone a little red,” I admit, reaching for my fork.
“I just didn’t expect it. Then again, Aiden is male, so we never ran into this issue. Sorry if I’m being awkward.”
“You’re staring,” I point out, my lips twitching.
He groans. “Sorry. He’s just really going at it. It’s hard to look away.”
I chuckle, shifting Asher in my arms so I can dig into my food. “I got it a lot with Jasmine too. I’ll pump once I have the equipment and bottles.”
“You don’t have them?” he asks, surprised.
“Not yet. I—” I take in a breath, unable to look at him. “With the move and stuff, I need to wait.”
When I glance back up, he doesn’t say anything, just stares at me in an unnerving way. I begin to fidget, not liking that it feels like he’s reading into me. I couldn’t bear it if he asked me about money or if I was struggling. Because the truth is, moving wasn’t really the best choice for me to make right now. Mum and Dad offered for me to stay there, but I needed my independence back. I needed to set up a home for me and the kids.
Sometime during my relationship, I lost of a piece of myself. It started as a tear inside of me, but then after the attack, I was left with a gaping wound. After I was released from the hospital, I was not only recovering from the injuries he inflicted, but from the emotional abuse I endured over the years. It wasn’t until I met with other women in my group sessions, who had been through the same, that the signs were pointed out to me. I felt ridiculous for not seeing them beforehand.
Mum and Dad were my safety net. I relied on them to make me feel something other than a failure. They picked me up when I was down, raised my daughter whilst I was recovering, and was doing what any good parent would do: being there for their child.
But I couldn’t let it go on anymore. They had already sacrificed so much for me, and I couldn’t let that happen anymore. I needed to prove to myself I could do this.
Instead of asking what I assumed he would, he asks, “Where did you live before?”
“With Grandma,” Jasmine says, piling more food onto Maddox’s plate. “You need to eat more. Granddad said it helps you grow.”
He grins and my stomach flips. “Good looking out, kid.”
“You’re welcome,” she sing-songs, before going back to her own plate.
“We lived with my mum and dad before. With Asher due, I knew it was time to find somewhere.”
He nods. “I understand that. I have a large family. First chance I got, I moved out and got my own place. But I was kind of lucky. Our nan left us money, and my mum was left money as a teenager from her parents. She put it into an ICER account for us, and she gave it to us when we turned eighteen under the condition we used it wisely.”
“So, you bought a house?”
“Yeah, and started a business. Sometimes I miss my mum’s cooking though.” He pushes his empty plate away from him, sitting back. “Where did you live before your parents, or is this your first home?”
Jasmine leans into him, and I can see it on her face that she’s going to say something, but Asher chomps down on my nipple before I can stop her, causing me to wince.
“We got hurt really badly at the old house and couldn’t go back,” Jasmine whispers.
Seeing her empty plate, I unlatch Asher and cover my breast whilst I wind him. “Jasmine, baby, wh
y don’t you go wash your hands and then put on a movie.”
She bites her bottom lip, looking from me to Maddox. “I’m sorry, Mummy.”
“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for,” I assure her. “Once I have Asher down, I’ll bring you some pudding, okay?”
She’s hesitant at first but then nods. “Okay, Mummy.”
Once she’s left, I can’t avoid Maddox’s stare any longer. “What?”
He opens his mouth but then shakes his head. “It’s none of my business.”
He wants to ask, and I don’t blame him. He’s only got an inkling of the story and it must be bugging him. “Just ask.”
“It’s none of my business. I’m not going to ask.”
“But you want to?” I guess.
He shrugs. “I do. Your mum said something the night you gave birth, so I can only guess what you’ve been through.”
I force out a laugh. “And you’d probably still be wrong,” I tell him before I jokingly say, “Maybe if we were best friends, I’d tell you.”
A grin teases his lips. “Amelia, Amelia, Amelia. I’ll be the best friend you’ve ever had.”
At a loss for words, I’m grateful when Asher lets up wind, causing Maddox to chuckle. “I’ll go wash up while you finish feeding him.”
“No, I can do that.”
“Hey, if we’re going to become best friends, I need to do my part. You cooked, I’ll clean,” he orders, grabbing the plates off the table.
“Maddox—”
He gives me a stern look, stopping me from saying any more. “Please don’t make me go home. They’re playing club music and I can’t take it anymore.”
Laughing lightly, I say, “You mean they aren’t playing the classics?”
He groans. “Oh God, no. Although, nothing is worse than their karaoke nights. They’ve ruined some of my favourite tunes.”
I can agree there. “When that kid dressed up in that red tracksuit and sang Eminem?”
Maddox groans as he flips on the hot tap. “I’ve not been able to listen to Eminem since. I cut the power to their house that night.”
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