by Bella Jewel
“That’s a story I ain’t willin’ to tell.”
I nod, completely understanding. I am not ready to tell my story either. And boy, do I have a story to tell.
“I understand that.”
He stops peeling the potato and looks up. “That ain’t the reaction I expected.”
“What reaction did you think you would get?”
“Most girls roll their eyes and pout, or try to soothe me with words that mean sweet fuck all to me.”
I shrug, meeting his gaze. “I’ve been in a place I don’t really want to share with the world. I know what it’s like to have a story you don’t want to tell. Not all stories have to be told, you know, sometimes…sometimes they are better left closed.”
He stares at me a long moment, his gaze deep. “Ain’t ever heard it put that way, but sugar, I like it.”
I nod, looking down. He drops what he’s doing, walks over and lifts my chin until my eyes meet his.
“I know what you went through was all kinds of fucked up, and one day maybe you’ll tell me about it, just like maybe I’ll tell you. If you wanna tell me bits, the lot, or none, that’s up to you. I ain’t ever gonna push, just like I’m never gonna judge. Your life was bad; I see it in your eyes. When you grin, your face is empty, and I have no doubt when you smile, your eyes won’t shine like they should. One day though, baby, I will make them shine.”
I swallow, and I do something I have never done in my life, I reach out for him. I take his face, stroke my thumb over his lip ring, then I lean down and I kiss him. It’s soft, gentle and there’s something behind it I am so afraid to face. If I face it, then I have to face what I’m running from. If I face that, then I know things are going to change for me in big ways. I pull back, and Cade locks eyes with me for the longest moment, before he turns back towards his preparation. Taking a deep breath, I decide it’s time to change the subject and steer it away from this emotional stuff; it’s too much to process right now.
“So, Britney…where does she fit in all this?”
He grunts, shaking his head. “She’s a fuckin’ pain in the ass.”
“Why do you sleep with her?”
“Haven’t fucked her since you showed up.”
This surprises me. It truly does. “Why?”
“You know why, sugar. Don’t make me do sappy – I can say nice shit, but I don’t do sappy.”
“Okay, so you stopped fucking her to fuck me. Why is she so convinced she’s the only one you go back to?”
“Because she was for a long time.”
“Oh, you two were together?”
Makes a little more sense now.
“Not exactly. She came in with one of the other guys. It didn’t work out, so she became a drifter. She slept around with the members, worked the bar, wormed her way into the club and that’s when she took a liking to me. Britney’s a wild fuck, so I spent a bit of time with her. She became a regular fuck. I know what you think of me, sugar, you think I get around and I won’t lie and say I haven’t, but I prefer one constant. Britney was that for a long time, over three years to be precise, but she got on my nerves. She started pushing to be my old lady, and there was no way in fuck that was happening, so I dropped her. I still fucked her, but no way near as frequently.”
“Oh, okay…well then…”
He grins. “Shocked, babe?”
“No, it’s exactly how I pinned your relationship with her. She’s quite determined to be the only woman you have in your life.”
“Well, she don’t get to make that choice for me. Watch out for her, yeah?”
I wave my hand. “Seriously? Britney? Not worried at all.”
“Sugar, she don’t play nice. Watch out for her.”
“I’m fine.”
“Babe…”
“Cade…”
“You’ll be careful, yeah?”
I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, I’ll be careful.”
“I know you’re just sayin’ that so I’ll shut up, but fine, it’ll do for now.”
I grin at him and he returns it with full force before returning to his cooking. I watch him for the next hour, preparing and creating. He makes steak, with baked potatoes stuffed with a creamy-cheese mix and a garden salad. We sit down with a beer, and eat in silence. The food is that divine, we don’t need to speak. When we’re done, I gather the plates and take them to the sink and begin cleaning up. When I notice Cade leaning against the counter watching me, I stop, turn, and put my hands on my hips.
“You gonna help me?”
“No sugar.”
“Fine, then I’m not doing them!”
“Ain’t it a woman’s job?”
My eyes widen and I grip the dish towel, lunging at him. He grins and side steps me, but I manage to crack the towel and it hits his belly. He grunts in pain and dives for me, hits my belly with his shoulder and lifts me up. He brings his hand down over my ass and I squeal, giggling. He turns, striding towards the stairs.
“What about the cleaning up?” I laugh.
“Fuck the cleaning up. I’m going to spend the rest of the night deep in your sweet pussy.”
Well, how can a girl argue with that?
~*CHAPTER 10*~
PRESENT
My back hits Cade’s soft mattress and I make a whimpering sound. Cade stands back, staring down at me; his eyes hooded, his body stiff and ready. His tongue snakes out and licks his bottom lip as he grips his shirt. He lifts the hem and takes it over his head. When he shows me his broad, hairless chest, I tremble. I get a good look at the tattoos under this light, and I can’t help but lick my lips. He’s got ‘Hell’s Knights’ tattooed in a curved style on his chest. He’s also got a star-like creation on his ripped belly. Just under his belly button, he has the words ‘Every second counts’. I feel my eyes grow heavy as I let my gaze slowly rake over him.
He grips his jeans and lowers them slowly, as though he’s teasing me. I slide my hand up my shirt, and tweak my already hardening nipple. One thing I do know how to do is pleasure myself. I’ve seen every possible sexual act there is, and I know how to make everything feel better. Cade watches my hand, and his breathing deepens. When his jeans hit the floor, I let my eyes drop to his erect cock. Sweet mother, it’s beautiful. Standing tall, pierced through the head, and thick as hell. He wraps his fingers around it and begins stoking. His hand moves with perfect rhythm. I swallow, grip my shirt and bring it up over my head. I unclip my bra and toss it off. Cade growls and crawls onto the bed.
“Straddle my chest,” I whisper.
His eyes widen a little. “Why?” he rasps.
“Trust me. Do it.”
He puts his legs either side of me and rests on his knees, then he shuffles up until he’s over my waist. His cock juts out proudly right near my mouth. I snake my tongue out and lick the head. Cade hisses and squeezes the base of his dick, stroking in short, hard bursts. I slide my fingers up his sides and he flinches. I use just enough nail to give him a hint of pain. Men like that. They also like things near their ass. I don’t know how Cade will take what I have planned, but I’m about to find out.
“Keep stroking,” I rasp.
“Fuck. I love how fuckin’ dirty you are.”
I grin up at him, then I lean forward a little and put a pillow under my head. Then I take his cock into my mouth, only sucking the head. I swirl my tongue around the tip, tasting him, enjoying the moment. His grunts spur me on, and his hand moves a little harder, a little faster, as he picks up his pace. I swirl my tongue around the barbell in his head, then I tug it lightly with my teeth. He groans deeply and his chest tightens, causing his muscles to bunch. Holy shit, that’s a gorgeous chest. I slide my fingers beneath his cock, cup his balls and roll them in my hands. He growls at me, and I give his head a little nip with my teeth.
“Mother fucker,” he snarls. “I’ll come before I fuck you, sugar, if you don’t stop.”
I don’t stop, I clench my teeth down harder around him and tease him with my tongue. My
fingers tickle his heavy sack, and when I feel the swell of his cock in my mouth, I know he’s ready to come. That’s when I slide one finger into his ass. Her jerks so violently, completely shocked. I tilt my finger, finding the tiny sweet spot all men have. The first spurt of his release doesn’t shock me; I have read how hard this makes a man come. His roaring and the way he clenches the sheets beside him, his head thrown back, his chest heaving, tells me that the stories are true; it does make it more mind blowing for a man. I press again and he spurts once more, filling my mouth.
“Fuck! Holy fuck!” he groans.
When he stops pulsing, and his erection begins to die down, I remove my mouth and my finger, and I look up at him. He stares down at me, completely shocked and content.
“The fuck?” he says in a scratchy voice. His dark hair falls over his face, making him look completely dangerous and yet so young at the same time.
“I told you I could make you squeal,” I smile.
His face lights up, and he leans down grazing my head with his lips. “I told you I could make you smile. Guess we were both right, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I chuckle.
“Give me ten, sugar. I’ll be deep inside you…”
I flush and shift. Cade gets off me and falls down onto his back. We both stare at the ceiling for a long moment, both of us no doubt feeling the same rush of emotions. Cade fits me. There’s just something about him that fits. He molds into me in a way no one has before. It both frightens and thrills me. I roll towards him, sliding my fingers across his chest. He looks at me, his eyes intense.
“Somethin’ about you, sugar, it’s makin’ everything I believed in feel like it never existed.”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “I’m feeling it too, but don’t go getting all sappy on me, biker.”
He gives me a heated expression, then he rolls, dropping his mouth to my nipple. He closes it over the hard tip, sucks and gives it a flick with his tongue every now and then. I moan and let my head sink into the pillow. While his mouth is on my nipple, his hand gently massages my other breast. I whimper, never having felt so many bolts of pleasure shooting through my body just from nipple stimulation.
“Cade,” I whisper. “God, more.”
He lets his hand slide from my breast and he slides it down to my pants. He tugs at them, and I let him pull them off. When I’m in nothing but my panties, I feel my body begin to liven up again. He cups my pussy, pressing his palm into my damp mound.
“Fuckin’ wet, God, sugar, need my cock inside you, but not until I taste that sweet cunt again.”
I tremble as he grips my panties and tears them off in one, quick swipe. When I am exposed to him, he leans back and takes hold of my knees, spreading them.
“You’re shining for me, baby, so fuckin’ wet. Show me how you like it.”
I look up at him, and he’s giving me an expression that has my heart thudding.
“You want me to touch myself?”
“Yeah, babe, fuck…yeah.”
I slide my fingers down my belly, and when I reach my pussy, I slide my finger through my folds. Cade swallows and watches as I lift my finger out and bring it to my lips.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he rasps.
I stretch my finger out, and he leans forward, taking it into his mouth and sucking. The feeling of having someone suck your finger is fucking erotic. I clench, desperately needing attention. When my finger slips from his mouth, he gently takes my hands, placing them above my head.
“I’m going to make you come now, sugar, so keep your hands up there.”
I spread my legs further as he leans down. He takes hold of my hips and tilts them upwards. When his mouth closes over my pussy, the cry that escapes my throat is strangled and raw. He sucks my clit into his mouth, gently rotating it around and around until I’m wound up so tightly it almost hurts.
“Cade, please,” I beg, thrashing in his grips.
He slips a finger inside me, then two, and before I can think, he’s thrusting and sucking, thrusting and sucking. When I come, it’s out of this world. I shake, twist, cry out and jerk until every last jolt of pleasure has been wrung from my body. Cade crawls up over me, reaches over to the bedside table and pulls out a condom. He sits back and I watch as he slides it down his hard length. When he’s fully sheathed, he positions himself over me and wraps my legs around his hips before pressing against my entrance. I groan as he stretches and fills me with each gentle push inside.
“Fuck, Cade!”
“Sugar,” he groans, “you’re fuckin’ killin’ me.”
He slips deep inside, and the feeling of him filling me is so intense, I close my eyes and just enjoy the moment. Cade thrusts his hips, slides out and fills me again. His elbows rest beside my head, so I turn my head to the left and lick his biceps. He groans and tangles a hand in my hair, tugging gently. I whimper as I begin to swell around him; he’s tweaking the perfect spots inside me.
“Need you deeper,” he growls gripping my hips and rolling us.
We roll too far, and end up off the bed and thumping down onto the floor. I squeal, he laughs. The idea of moving only crosses my mind for a split second, but instead, I crush my lips against Cade’s and then we’re fucking like wild animals. The carpet rug is burning my back as I use the bed to press my feet against, so my legs are high and raised. Cade drives me hard, his fingers are tangled in my hair; our bodies are sweaty and we both heave and pant, our groans join together to make a primal, feral sound.
“Fuck, goin’ to come,” Cade rasps. “Come with me.”
I am gripping his back so hard I can feel warmth on my fingers. He grunts loudly as I drag my nails down his skin. I’m so close, God, I’m so close. Cade reaches between us and tweaks my clit, and that sends me over the edge. With a scream, I come. Cade is close behind me, and his primal bellow completely increases my release. We shudder together. My back burns; my body is on fire and I love it. I love every second of it. When his orgasm dies down, he drops his head into my shoulder, kissing it gently. He rolls us both to our sides, until we’re facing each other.
“Fuck, you got some nails, girl,” he murmurs. “My back hurts.”
“Mine too,” I groan, shifting.
“What’s wrong with yours?” he says, moving a piece of hair from my eyes.
“Carpet burn.”
He stares blankly at me, then bursts out laughing. I shove at his chest, but he grips my wrists and pulls me close.
“Sorry, baby, that was so unexpected.”
“I can’t believe we rolled off the bed.”
He grins, kissing me softly. “Wild cat.”
“Rebel.”
He sits us up, and then his hands are on me, gently, spinning me around. He runs his fingertips over my battered back. He leans in, kissing it softly, completely shocking me. To the rest of the world, Cade is terrifying, but here…in this moment…he’s completely beautiful.
“Let me get somethin’ to put on that.”
He stands, takes my hands and helps me up. My body aches in the most pleasant way; it’s a thrilling feeling. It’s a feeling I’ve never had before.
And it scares the hell out of me.
~*CHAPTER 11*~
PAST
“I tried to call you,” I say, when Billy finally comes around after four days of me desperately trying to contact him.
“I was busy,” he says, but his voice sounds off.
He’s sounded off for weeks. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to be here, but he’s too afraid to tell me so. He’s trying to save me, and I’m starting to feel more and more like a project than I am a girlfriend. He runs his fingers through his messy blonde hair and sighs. “Listen, Addison, we need to-”
“Don’t bother,” I snap, crossing my arms. “I know what you’re going to say.”
He does look like it pains him to have to say what comes next, and that only makes my heart hurt more. I don’t doubt Billy cares about me, but I think it’s gone far beyond that. Sometimes car
ing just isn’t enough, and sometimes one’s lifestyle is unfixable. Perhaps that’s how he feels about my lifestyle, that I’ll never leave it, never get away. I swallow and square my shoulders. I’ve dealt with far worse than heart break. I don’t expect Billy to save me. How can I ever expect someone to change their world for me? That’s such a high expectation to have of another person, especially when what they’re fighting for, is completely fucked up to begin with.
“You know I love you, Addison,” he says gently.
I hate that line. You know I love you, but I’m going to leave you anyway. I thought love conquered all? Seems to me, if things get too hard, people run regardless of love. Whatever happened to through thick and thin? I don’t let Billy see the hurt that’s ripping through my chest right now. I won’t be the girl that begs. I’ve never been that girl and I won’t start now.
“You’re leaving,” I respond in a simple, emotionless tone.
Billy flinches, and I see his fingers twitching like he wants to reach out for me. He makes a loud, sighing sound and begins pacing the room.
“It’s work.”
What a fucking lie.
“No, it’s not.”
He stops pacing and turns to face me. He shoves his hands into his jean pockets.
“Addison, it’s just…look…I want a certain lifestyle and you’re not willing to walk away from this to be with me. I can’t keep trying to save a girl, who doesn’t want to be saved.”
“You think it’s so easy, don’t you?” I snap.
“No, I don’t think it’s easy. I’ve seen how hard it is for you. I know what you go through here but you won’t let me help you. You won’t walk away from her. You won’t walk away from Jasper, even after…”
His face scrunches in disgust, and that burns. It burns because that disgust isn’t just because of Jasper, it’s because of me. Because I allow it, because I stopped fighting.