Bear for Christmas: Kodiak Den #4 (Alaskan Den Men Book 15)

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Bear for Christmas: Kodiak Den #4 (Alaskan Den Men Book 15) Page 14

by Amy Lamont


  I squeezed her back. Being rejected by the man of my dreams and dealing with the pity of my friends were enough. I didn’t need to throw Paige’s guilt into the mix.

  “It’s not your fault. If anyone else was sitting at that bar, I never would have gone through with it.” And as I said the words to reassure her, the truth of them hit me. “Seriously, Paige, even without the bet I wouldn’t have been able to stay away from him. From the second I laid eyes on him in the lobby…” I shrugged. “There was just some sort of instant attraction.”

  Heaviness filled my chest. In my twenty-two years I’d never felt that way before. All my serious boyfriends, all two of them, started as friends first. I’d never believed in love at first sight.

  Oh, shit. This was not love. It was lust. I had never experienced the kind of spontaneous spark of…something…I felt with Nate before. That’s the reason I was so out of sorts.

  Not love. Definitely just lust. And having never experienced it before, I had little hope of finding it again anytime soon. Not since Nate seemed to have had his fill of me after a whopping three hours. And who could blame him? A man like him, even without the billionaire status, could have his choice of women. Why on earth would he settle for someone like me?

  A pain shot through me, somewhere in the vicinity of my chest. I ignored it. Time to move on. Nate obviously had.

  Chapter 8

  My roommates made it their mission to keep me from hiding my head in the sand. Jade started it. She confiscated everything made of flannel that I owned. In place of my favorite pajama bottoms, I found my dresser drawer filled with slinky nightgowns with strategically placed lace. The least sexy thing I could find were a few sets of satiny shorts with matching camisoles.

  Katelyn’s campaign was subtler. She asked me to go out with her every chance she got. And she always made it tough to say no. Like when she asked me to lunch yesterday. Kate worked with children in some horrible situations. So when she told me she needed to get away for a while to vent about one of her kids, how could I say no?

  Paige’s schedule made it tough for her to do too much. But she did text me reminders to shower and get dressed every morning, and repeated the text every fifteen minutes until I sent her a picture showing her I’d done as instructed.

  I wanted to resent them. But knowing they only did it because they loved me made it hard. Plus, I think all of them felt a little guilty knowing our bet had been the catalyst to everything.

  And honestly, I was sick of myself. When I broke up with my last boyfriend, it barely made a ripple in my day. It was a little sad because we’d been together for almost two years, but I couldn’t claim to be heartbroken.

  But that was exactly how I felt now. Heartbroken. After three hours with the man.

  Tonight, though, I was done. I looked forward to this night all year, so it seemed as good a time as any to shake off the funk I’d been in for the last two weeks. Jade’s parents’ Christmas parties were like something out of an old movie—sophisticated people, tuxes and evening gowns, white-coated waiters passing trays of champagne and hors d’oeuvres.

  I huffed out a breath, blowing the dark blonde curl that had been left out of my updo off my forehead. I scanned myself in the mirror with a critical eye.

  My long red dress conformed to my curves. I had to admit, the dress fit perfectly, clinging to my cleavage and waist. I turned sideways and sucked in my stomach.

  “Not bad,” I said out loud as I twisted to get a look at every angle.

  “Not bad?” Paige’s voice startled me. “You look hot.”

  I smiled at her through the bathroom mirror and took in her elegant form draped in jewel green. “Thanks. You don’t clean up too bad, either.”

  Paige did the same twist and turn I’d just executed in front of the full-length mirror before stepping over to stand next to me facing the mirror over the sink. She tipped her head to touch mine. “Damn, we look good.”

  I grinned at her and for the first time in days, the knot in my stomach unclenched. After my parents died, Paige’s parents took me in and let me finish out high school with my friends. Between Paige’s crazy med school hours and my moping, she and I hadn’t had too much time together lately. But this moment was a reminder. No matter what else happened, I had this woman who I considered my sister.

  As soon as the thought passed through my mind, Katelyn and Jade popped into the doorway behind us. My grin grew even wider, and suddenly all the things they’d been telling me since forever hit me like a bolt from the sky.

  These three remarkable women thought I was something special. I turned my eyes to my reflection again and lost my smile. Staring at the four of us, it hit me. I looked like I belonged with them. I didn’t look like the friend they allowed to tag along. I looked like one of them. For too many years it was the chubby teenager I saw every time I looked in the mirror. But that wasn’t the truth. The truth was I’d left that grief-stricken girl behind a long time ago. The woman staring back at me in the mirror blinked. She looked poised and beautiful and happy to be with friends who were more like family.

  My jaw dropped. “Holy shit.”

  “What?” Paige asked.

  I shook my head slowly and turned to her. “I’m hot.”

  “Uh, duh. That’s what I’m saying,” Paige said.

  My gaze wandered over each of my friends. They stared at me like I’d just landed from another planet. Well, hell. This wasn’t news to them. It was just me that hadn’t clued in. I was that person they’d been telling me I was.

  And that’s why Nate took me up to that hotel room. I wasn’t just convenient and available. I was funny and pretty and interesting. And it showed.

  And he saw it across the room just like I’d spotted all of it in him.

  So why the fuck did he walk out on me?

  “I don’t get it.”

  “What, sweetie?” Katelyn tilted her head to one side.

  “I don’t get why he left.”

  My three best friends shared a look. I wasn’t sure if it was an “oh shit, here we go again” look or something else. And I was too caught up in my own revelation to dig any deeper.

  “Maybe he really did leave because of the press pass,” I murmured, more to myself than my friends. Since that night I figured it was an excuse for him to get away.

  I looked up to once again find them exchanging glances over my head. “What? I know, I know. I’m sick of myself, too. Let’s just go.”

  I turned on my slim high heel and marched out of the bathroom. I could go over and over that night a million times, but I’d never really know what happened. If anything happened other than Nate making a fast exit from a one-night stand. Time to get back to my regularly scheduled life.

  White twinkling lights, evergreen boughs, red velvet bows and glowing candles turned Jade’s parents’ oversized home in New Jersey into something from a Christmas card. My memories didn’t do it justice. As the four of us stood outside, bundled up against the frigid December air, we stopped to stare.

  “Even better than last year,” Katelyn breathed.

  “Totally,” Paige said.

  “Wait until you see inside.” Jade grabbed my arm and tugged me along with her. Paige and Katelyn followed on our heels.

  We stepped into the front hall and my jaw dropped. “Oh my God, Jade.”

  I spun in a slow circle, taking it all in. Jade’s parents had created a miniature version of the winter wonderland in the lobby of the Hotel Wynter.

  “What…?” I dropped my gaze to Jade. “How is this possible?”

  Jade shrugged and smiled softly. “My mom knows how much you love the decorations at the hotel so when she was trying to decide how to decorate this year, she called the designer they use to try and recreate it.”

  I twirled again and more tears prickled behind my eyes. I had even more proof of how much I was loved. “I can’t believe your parents did this.”

  As if my words conjured her, Jade’s mom stepped into the fro
nt hall. “Girls, you made it.”

  I rushed forward and threw my arms around her. “Thank you.” My words were barely above a whisper.

  She squeezed me tightly. “You’re welcome.”

  I fought back tears. I may have lost my parents far too young, but Mrs. Roberts’ hug and her amazing gesture reminded me I’d never been without family.

  The embrace ended quickly with my friends crowding in to say hello and get warm hugs of their own while two maids helped us off with our coats.

  After handing my wrap over, I stepped back to take another look at the large entry hall. Their entryway was about the size of the living room of the house I grew up in with a wide staircase in the center, curling up to the second floor. Small potted fir trees lined the room, each adorned with white lights and what looked to be snow. My eyes traveled up to see twinkle lights cascading from the ceiling like falling snow. The scent of pine filled my head and I closed my eyes for a brief moment, the wonder of every childhood Christmas filling me in that instant. I inhaled deeply. I opened my eyes to find myself pinned by a familiar amber gaze.

  I gasped. Nate stood just inside the doorway to the living room, staring at me. What on earth was he doing here?

  “My parents invited him.”

  I hadn’t even noticed Jade coming to my side. She put her arm through mine and pulled me toward a white-coated waiter entering the room from the hallway that led to the kitchen. She let go of me long enough to snatch two glasses of champagne from his tray and hand one to me. “Drink up.”

  I glanced over my shoulder to see Nate still standing in the doorway, both of Jade’s parents now standing with him. I turned and knocked back the entire glass of champagne in a few gulps and then straightened my shoulders.

  “You know what? Fuck it. I’m sick of hiding my head in the sand.” I turned to face Nate. “There was something between us that night. I know there was. And I’m going to go find out why he blew me off. Enough of this moping around.”

  I marched away, only vaguely aware of Jade’s whispered, “You go girl,” as I moved.

  I was on a mission.

  Chapter 9

  “There’s my sweet pea.” Mr. Roberts snatched me to him in a big hug the second I reached his side. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

  I grinned and squeezed him back. I loved Jade’s dad. My first memory of him was when my parents brought me to one of these Christmas parties when I was about six years old. Back then, I was so shy, I would have spent the entire night hiding behind the folds of my mother’s navy blue dress.

  But Mr. Roberts spotted me and took me by the hand. He didn’t force me to talk to him or ask me a million questions the way most grown-ups did. He just kept me at his side, hooked me up with a plate of munchies, and introduced me to the other kids in attendance—Jade, Katelyn, and Paige.

  Not for a minute was I afraid of him, despite him being a bear of a man, not at all what you picture when you think of a wealthy software developer. And ever since then, I’d had a soft spot in my heart for him. He made me feel special and comfortable and then he introduced me to the girls who would turn out to be my best friends in the world. And since my parents died and I went to live with Paige and her parents, he made sure I knew that if things didn’t work out, there was always room for me at his home. How could I not love him?

  He pulled away and held me by the shoulders as he took a gander at my dress. “You look even more beautiful than usual, sweet pea.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Roberts. You’re looking pretty dapper there yourself.” I grinned and he grimaced and tugged at his bow tie. He indulged his wife once a year with this formal party. But all of us close to him knew the truth. He’d much rather be in jeans and a T-shirt, eating pigs in a blanket and drinking beer. One more reason I liked him. Definitely my kind of guy.

  And speaking of my kind of guy…I turned my attention to Nate. He towered over Jade’s petite mom, his broad shoulders dwarfing her. I drank him in, feeling a little eager after not seeing him in over two weeks.

  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Even I had to admit the absurdity of missing someone when the entirety of our relationship took about three hours of my life. But there’s no fighting our feelings. And hey, at least I could say I had good taste.

  Let’s just say the man could fill out a tuxedo.

  “Nathaniel, I don’t think you’ve met my daughter’s friend—”

  “Brandi,” Nate said. “We’ve met.”

  My eyes grew wide. Shit, shit, shit. I gave Nate a small headshake hoping he’d pick up on it and Mr. and Mrs. Roberts would not. Jade’s parents knew about my freelance writing career, but I never shared exactly what I wrote about. And I certainly never shared my pen name with them.

  “Oh, no, you must have her confused with someone else,” Mrs. Roberts said, her kind tone smoothing any awkwardness. Well, aside from my own innate awkwardness stemming from the fact I was having a conversation with the only man who’d ever seen me completely, totally naked and two people I thought of as second parents. Nope, not awkward at all. “This is Emma Glover. She and our daughter Jade have been friends since kindergarten.”

  Something moved through Nate’s amber eyes. “My mistake.”

  His eyes stayed locked on me as he spoke and I shivered. I had a feeling it was more than calling me by the wrong name he referred to. Did he see our night together as a mistake? Ouch.

  That part of me that woke up earlier as I stared at myself and Jade, Kate, and Paige in the bathroom mirror stirred. I narrowed my eyes at him. He’d walked out on me. If he thought he could act like the injured party now, he better think again.

  “Emma, this is Nathaniel Wilder,” Mrs. Roberts said, breaking into my thoughts as she completed the introduction.

  “Yes, Nate and I met recently,” I said.

  “Oh.” Mrs. Roberts’ bewildered gaze bounced between the two of us. Guess my admission made it tough for her to smooth over his calling me by another woman’s name.

  “It was a brief meeting,” I jumped in to reassure her. “I’m not surprised he didn’t remember me very well.”

  “Now how could any man in his right mind forget about you?” Mr. Roberts peered down at me, fondness clear in his expression.

  I grinned up at him. “You might be just a tiny bit biased.”

  Before he could respond, Mrs. Roberts broke in. “Honey, the Murphys are here. We should go say hello.”

  Mr. Roberts sighed and tugged on his tie. “Duty calls.”

  I laughed and straightened his tie a bit and leaned in to stage whisper, “You’ll live.”

  “Let’s hope.” He pointed at me. “You better save me a dance later.”

  I picked up the hem of my gown just high enough to show off my strappy, glittery heels. “I’m afraid I left the steel toes at home tonight.”

  Mrs. Roberts grinned. Her husband’s lack of skills on the dance floor was a long-running joke. She leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

  “I stashed a few of those stuffed mushrooms in the kitchen for you,” she said before tugging her husband off to greet the Murphys.

  I smiled after them for a few seconds before turning my attention back to Nate. The smile fell off my face, and I sank my teeth into my bottom lip. He wasn’t walking away from me, but his blank expression gave no inkling as to what was going on behind those eyes.

  When he finally broke the silence, I couldn’t help but wish we could go back to staring wordlessly at each other.

  “I read some of your articles.”

  Just great.

  “Okay,” I said, drawing out the word. I wasn’t ashamed of my work, but most people had a strong reaction to it one way or another. He wasn’t giving me any clues to figure out if he liked the articles or thought they were totally gross.

  “When will our article come out?”

  I wrinkled my nose and tilted my head toward my shoulder. “Pardon?”

  “Our article. Wasn’t that research? What kind of a
rticle did you write about us?”

  My jaw literally dropped. “I would never, never write about that.”

  A disbelieving grunt came from him and he gestured dismissively, encompassing all of me. “What’s this part? The outraged virgin act?”

  I plunked my fists on my hips and opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind. Thankfully, a burst of laughter from behind him reminded me where we were standing before I managed to get a word out. I needed privacy for what I wanted to say to this man.

  Without giving him a chance to walk away, I snatched his hand, looked around wildly for a place we could go, and then hauled him in the direction of the kitchen.

  It had to be said, he could have stopped me at any time. He was more than half a foot taller than me, even in my heels, and had a good fifty or sixty pounds on me. A little spark of hope burst in my chest like a firecracker, filling me with warmth as he let me pull him along.

  I stopped only long enough to snag a couple of flutes of champagne from a passing waiter, balancing the stems between the fingers of one hand while I kept my grip of Nate’s hand with the other. I continued on into the kitchen. If this didn’t go well, at least I could soothe myself with stuffed mushrooms.

  I wound my way through the catering staff, and made a beeline for the huge walk-in pantry in the far corner. I pulled Nate in behind me and yanked the door shut with a bang.

  He moved farther in and I pulled the chain to turn on the light before I turned my attention to Nate. He stood casually, hands in pockets, leaning a shoulder against a shelf.

  I blinked. Seeing him standing there in a tux that looked like it had been made for him—and now that I knew exactly who he was, I figured it probably had been and he likely had a pile more just like it in his closet—against the canned goods made me want to giggle. But the look on his face, no amusement or attraction in evidence, had me swallowing it down.

  Well, I got him in here. Now what was I going to do with him? I finally remembered the champagne in my hand. I plucked one of the flutes by the stem and drained it as quickly as I drank the one Jade handed me.

 

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