by Parker, Lexy
I was already trying to think of the best way to make it up to him. I wanted him to know I was sorry and would promise not to try and force my way into his private family relationships. It wasn’t my place.
Chapter 31
Clay
It was the end of a long day and Philip had just walked into my office. I had been waiting for the talk all day. I had assumed Dani had gone home and told Jamie all about what an asshole I was. I felt like an idiot for blowing up something that could have been good. Dani was a good woman and I had lost her because I had been too stubborn and set in my ways. I had been mulling over the conversation since she’d walked out of the house. I thought of about a million different things I could have said instead of what I had.
He flopped down in the chair, checked his watch and then looked at me. “You’ve got about fifteen minutes until I have to leave. What happened?”
“What did Dani tell Jamie?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nothing. At least nothing that I know of.”
“Then why are you asking me what happened?”
He rolled his eyes. “Because you’ve been sulking since this morning.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh, so, what happened? Is this a you and Dani thing?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, I mean no. There is no me and Dani. We went fishing Saturday. She insisted on going to my parents’ house for dinner, even though I cautioned her against it. She met Emmitt. He was totally hitting on her and being his usual asshole self and she got mad at me for not kissing his ass.”
He held up a hand. “Kissing his ass?”
“Yes. She thinks I need to talk to him and try to see if he’s okay. I think it’s bullshit. I’m not kissing his ass. I don’t care if his company did go belly up. It’s not my fault,” I explained.
“His company went belly up?”
“Yes. Dani had read about it in the paper. His company went bankrupt. He’s down here pretending he’s still riding high when he’s jobless,” I told him.
“Wow. Didn’t see that coming. I don’t understand how this is a problem for you and Dani though.”
“She thinks I need to extend the olive branch. I didn’t want to do it. I’m not going to do it and I told her that. She got mad and walked out and that’s that,” I told him.
He looked thoughtful. “Dani is pretty hot-tempered, but I can’t imagine that would be a deal breaker for her.”
“I was kind of a jackass about it,” I confessed.
“Dani doesn’t have any family. She was probably trying to bring you two together. I don’t think she meant anything mean by it. Maybe you were a little hard on her,” he offered.
“I already knew that much but there isn’t anything I can do about it now. She was pissed and she walked away. I doubt I’ll be hearing from her again.”
He smiled. “Dani is a tenacious woman. If she really wants you, she’ll be back. She might bang your head a little and demand an apology, but I don’t think it’s the end of the world. I’m guessing she needs a minute to think things over as well.”
I rubbed a hand over my face. “I give him too much control of my life.”
“Who?”
“Emmitt. I shouldn’t let him get to me. It’s why he does what he does. As much as I know that, I keep letting him do it. I’m going to be pissed if I let him ruin something good,” I grumbled.
I heard the front door open. Philip and I exchanged a look, not used to actual customers coming to the front door. It was usually phone calls and emails. I got to my feet to greet the person and came face to face with the bane of my existence.
“Hey, little brother,” Emmitt said with a smile.
Philip looked up from the chair he was in, surprise on his face. He got to his feet and stood to my left as I stared at my brother, expecting things to get ugly in a hurry.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him.
“I was hoping we could talk—seriously,” he said, his eyes sliding over to Philip.
Philip looked at me, quietly asking if I was okay with him leaving. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I told him, giving him the answer he needed to make a quick escape.
I didn’t need everyone in my life to know how fucked-up my relationship with Emmitt was. I always felt like I needed to shield people from Emmitt and his venomous tongue. I stepped back into my office and gestured for Emmitt to take the seat Philip had vacated.
I stared at him, waiting for him to spit out whatever bullshit it was he came to say. “What?” I snapped, glowering at him.
“I wanted to talk to you about some stuff.”
“What stuff?” I asked, not interested in playing nice, not after all he cost me and continued to cost me.
“I don’t have a job,” he muttered, looking down at his hands folded against his flat stomach.
I leaned back. I hadn’t been expecting that. “What happened?” I asked.
“The company was struggling for a while. One day, we showed up to work and there were men in suits packing everything up. We all found out the company had gone bankrupt and everything was being taken. We had no warning. It left us all in a lurch,” he said, his voice actually full of regret and what I thought was sadness.
“Sorry to hear that. I’m sure there are other firms that would be willing to hire you and your co-workers. Aren’t there like a million financial management firms in the city?” I asked.
“It’s not that easy. There are about a hundred of us out of jobs. A hundred people all vying for the same handful of jobs makes it extremely difficult to get a foot in the door, even on the ground floor,” he muttered with some disgust.
I nodded, waiting for him to tell me why he was sitting in my office. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say, and I wasn’t sure I liked it. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and say something I would regret.
“Does that mean you really are moving back to Hope?” I asked.
He took a deep breath and looked up, meeting my eyes. “I need some help. I need a job.”
“You don’t have anything saved?” I asked with shock.
He smirked. “I managed other people’s money. I didn’t do a great job managing my own. I spent it as fast as I made it. I like nice things. I didn’t want to be frugal, living hand to mouth with a bunch of money in the bank. I wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I wanted to eat at the good restaurants and live in a place I could feel safe and comfortable in.”
“You spent all your money?” I said with disbelief.
He offered a sheepish shrug. “Basically.”
“What about your apartment in the city?”
He shook his head. “Gone.”
My eyes widened. I had no idea just how bad things were for him. I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around how he had blown through all his money and was now penniless. He made more money in a month than I made in a year, or at least that’s what he had said. As I stared at him, I realized none of us had seen his place in New York. None of us had actually been to his job. He could have been making it all up in order to sound like he was more successful than he truly was.
“Does Mom know?” I asked.
“No and I’d rather you not tell her.”
“I’m not sure what to say,” I said.
“I need a job. I need money,” he said.
He was asking me for a job. Never in a million years would I have guessed my big brother would be knocked low enough to ask me for a job. There was a certain power that went along with his request. I had to choose between using that power or being the man I wanted to be—the man Dani wanted me to be.
“I could use some help around here with the accounting and getting the books ironed out,” I finally said.
A smile spread across his face. “Thanks.”
“Emmitt, is there something else I should know? You’ve been pretty distracted,” I asked.
He shut down. The smile faded and he narrowed his gaze at me. “What do you mean something you should k
now? My company went bankrupt. I’m out of a job and have nowhere to live. I have no life to return to in New York. I think that pretty much sums things up unless you want all the dirty details.”
I held up a hand, not wanting to break the nice little peace treaty we had just established. “I was only asking if you needed something else. I get it. I won’t pry.”
“Good. I just need some help for now while I get over this little hump. I don’t plan on working here forever. I’ll help you get your books straightened out and hopefully I’ll be able to move on to bigger and better things,” he muttered.
I knew it had taken a lot for him to show up at my door. It had to have been an extremely humbling experience. One that I hoped would do him some good. It would do me good as well. I had to remember Emmitt wasn’t the man he pretended to be. Underneath all the arrogance and pretentiousness, he was just a man. A man down on his luck and needing the help of his family. I was happy I could do it for him. We had never been close, but maybe this was the very thing we needed to forge some kind of relationship. I didn’t have any big plans for those happy Christmas dinners with Uncle Emmitt playing with his nephew, but it was a start.
“Do you want to start next week, tomorrow?” I asked, leaving it up to him.
“I’ll get back to you, but I saw your books and I don’t think it’s a good idea to put it off too long,” he quipped.
“It’s not that bad,” I retorted.
“And it is definitely not that good,” he shot back.
I grinned, knowing he was partially right. If he could take care of the business side of things, that would free me up to do more deliveries. I still needed to get the part and get the truck fixed. Everything had kind of been a jumbled mess. I felt buried and needed a way out. Emmitt coming on board might be a very good thing for me. I just hoped Mr. Congeniality was actually going to help and not turn into the pit viper I knew him to be.
“All right, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
It was the best I was going to get. I stood up and walked around my desk. Emmitt got to his feet and extended his hand. I grinned, pushing the hand out of the way and going in for a big, manly bear hug. I couldn’t remember ever hugging my brother. It was a foreign feeling but one I could get used to. I suddenly had a very good understanding of why Dani wanted me to have a relationship with my brother. It felt good.
He pushed me away and walked out of my office. I watched him leave, unable to stop smiling. I knew my mom would be thrilled with the idea of the two of us working together as well. She’d been trying to get us to like each other for more than thirty years. It took Emmitt getting knocked off that big soapbox he was on to do it. I almost liked Emmitt when he wasn’t looking down at me. I was looking forward to getting to know the real him and actually having a relationship with him.
Chapter 32
Dani
I pumped my legs, pushing them faster and faster as I stared straight ahead, imagining my stationary bike was actually moving. My legs burned with the exercise, my heart pounding hard in my chest and sweat trickling down the sides of my face. I didn’t stop. I pushed harder. I raced on the bike like the hounds of hell were chasing me.
It was my therapy. I had never done the counseling thing after Gage died. I felt like I could work through anything as long as I had the wind on my face and my legs were pumping. Sweating was my release. I released the pain, anger and frustration at the situation through exercise. I remembered thinking I wished Gage could see me now since I had taken my fitness to a whole new level. Gage couldn’t see me, unless I believed he was somewhere in the spirit world watching me. I couldn’t believe that. If I believed that, then I would have to believe he’d watched me come apart in another man’s arms.
It was better to believe Gage was truly gone. I couldn’t though. A part of me couldn’t let him go. Part of me kept telling myself he was on a secret mission somewhere in a foreign country and couldn’t call or reach out, but he was out there. That’s what was driving me.
The timer on the bike beeped, telling me I had to get off. I had pushed it long enough. I was supposed to be meeting Jamie in twenty minutes. That gave me about five minutes to shower in the locker room of the gym. I slowed my speed, doing a quick cool down before jumping off the spin bike, my legs feeling a little like jelly as I made my way to the locker room, sucking down water as I moved.
I took a three-minute shower, dressed and went makeup free to the restaurant. I wasn’t much in the mood to care about what I looked like. I had yet to work up the nerve to talk to Clay and apologize for being so overbearing. The longer I waited, the harder I knew it would be to say I was sorry. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for.
Jamie was already sipping coffee when I got to the restaurant. She scowled at me. “You’re late.”
“Like five minutes,” I replied.
“You’re off today. What could you be doing that makes you late?” she said.
I shrugged a shoulder. “I was at the gym.”
She let out a long sigh. “What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you still haven’t talked to Clay?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“What happened? I tried to ask Philip, but he isn’t saying anything, and you know how much that pisses me off when he knows more than I do. Something happened between you and Clay and you’re not talking to him—why?”
“Because I was kind of a bitch to him about his relationship with his brother,” I blurted out.
She raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“We got into an argument because I told him I didn’t want to be with a man that couldn’t get along with his brother. I told him I didn’t want awkward family gatherings and our children to be subjected to the tension.”
She sipped her coffee. “Children, huh? That’s a huge leap into the future. Did I miss something? Is there a baby on board? Is there a marriage I’m unaware of?” she asked dryly.
“No.”
“Then what the hell are you talking about?”
I groaned, looking up at the water-stained ceiling. “I don’t know. You know I can go off on a tangent. Usually, it’s with you and you know to ignore my craziness. Clay doesn’t know me as well and believed every word I said. I think I really freaked him out when I talked about our kids.”
“Because you usually mean what you’re saying, but you do tend to get carried away. He didn’t know he had to reel you back in,” she said, nodding her head. “I’m sure you did scare him a little, but I know Clay and I think he’s probably already decided what your children would look like. You both have a little crazy in you,” she said with a wink.
“I think you’re right there. It’s probably why we get along so well, except that night. I got pissed that he wouldn’t see my way and suggested I leave, and he didn’t try and stop me,” I pouted.
She burst into laughter. “Because that’s one of the lamest, most immature moves ever. That doesn’t work once you hit adulthood. You should know better. I’m glad he didn’t try to stop you. He is a nice guy, but he isn’t a pushover.”
“Someone should have told me that wouldn’t work. I thought for sure he would beg me to stay,” I groused.
She shook her head. “How dare no one tell you to be a big girl. Seriously, though, just talk to him. Clay isn’t going to hold it against you forever. I’m sure he wanted to tell you to stay, but he had his own pride to think of.”
“I know and I want to talk to him and tell him I’m sorry for freaking out, but I’m a big coward.”
“You aren’t a coward. You’re worried you like him too much,” she said in a gentle voice.
“I kind of am. I’m afraid to be this hooked on a man. After Gage died, I imagined myself alone for years and then kind of dipping my toes in the dating pool. I didn’t expect to fall for the first man I met. I feel like I’m jumping into things too fast. I can’t have been lucky enough to strike gold twice,” I told her, hoping she understood what I was t
rying to say.
“I don’t think you are ever going to find another man like Clay. He’s one of a kind and so worth your time and effort. Don’t give up because you’re afraid he might be the one.”
I shook my head. “He’s not the one. Gage was the one.”
“Sweetie, Gage was your first love. I know it probably feels like he is the only one that you could ever love, but he’s gone. He’s always going to be a big part of your life. He helped make you into the woman you are today. I know for a fact he would approve of Clay. In many ways, he and Clay are a lot alike. I know Clay is worthy of a woman like you. I know he will love you unconditionally just like Gage did, but in his own unique way. I don’t think it’s fair to compare the two, but I understand it’s going to be hard not to. Clay is his own man and he’s got a lot of really good qualities that Gage didn’t have. You have to open yourself up to love again. People can have more than one love.”
“What qualities?” I asked.
She smiled. “I think that’s for you to determine, but one thing I appreciate about Clay is his patience and his open heart. I know he and his brother have issues, but I have to believe those issues stem from something pretty big. Clay isn’t the kind of guy to hold a grudge. Something is there.”
“I know. He told me, but I guess I have you and Gage as my sibling reference. It’s hard to imagine anyone not appreciating a sibling.”
Jamie giggled. “Trust me, Gage and I weren’t all glitter and rainbows. I think the first fifteen years of my life I hated him. He was a jerk and we would fight like crazy. It wasn’t until we got a little older, we understood the value of our sibling relationship.”
I smiled, thinking about some of the stories Gage would tell me from their childhood. “I suppose, but the thing between Emmitt and Clay is very dark.”