by M A Price
“You wouldn’t have got this far if part of you didn’t trust your mind or know how to survive. Everyone listens to their survival instincts even when they don’t believe they want to.” Katanya smiled knowingly, it brought out the contrast of the vibrant blue in her eyes and the pink of her shirt. She almost otherworldly. “If you weren’t good enough… I’d have told Ivloch you were a hopeless cause and been long gone. Believe me.”
Mara did. Katanya wasn’t the type of person who lied. Her life already had too many complications.
Nineteen - Jaxon
Jala looked angry as he entered the cell. Samiah was standing, her hands on the bars leering at Becca Youchnore. Becca had a clean shift on now, as per his orders, but she still looked filthy and clearly had not been able to clean herself.
“Why has she not been given the water? Was extra food delivered?”
Samiah’s attention switched back to him, but he focused on the grunt Jala released. Becca appeared to be sleeping or at least giving the impression of doing so.
“It’s there.” Samiah pointed to the furthest corner of the room, on their side of the cage., A bucket with a sponge that had already fallen in the dirt.
“I ordered it to be given to her.” He tried to keep his voice calm. He couldn’t tell her why this mattered so much to him. He wasn’t even sure if he knew himself.
There had been hundreds of prisoners in these cells, treated in this manner or sometimes worse. A Guardian they captured in Buckden had been the last inhabitant. Her face a mess before they transferred her to Torlung’s Facility. Bryar, he believed it was. He’d avoided her at all costs, worried that one would recognise another. He also hadn’t wanted to see the first Guardian that The Unforgiven had managed to capture since their return. To see what would happen to one of them.
Samiah moved away from him, glaring at Jala as she did so. The tension between the two was becoming almost unbearable; he’d have to switch the shift, or it would only get worse. Another problem he didn’t have the time for.
Jala had been furious when he met her in a local tavern the moon before. She screamed of injustice and her horror at Samiah’s lack of human empathy. Jaxon had agreed with her every word but refused to let himself admit it. It wouldn’t help him or Jal. He’d just patted her back and told her to rein in her temper. They would do their job and make things easier if they could. The whole time the guilt for not coming to the dungeons earlier played on his mind.
“I wanted answers from her first.” Samiah was defiant in her words but wouldn’t make eye contact with him. She knew where this was going. Jaxon didn’t understand the coldness in her or where it had come from.
“I didn’t order you to get answers from her. You’re my second, not the Captain. I ordered you to feed her and give her water to bathe. Since when have you ignored my orders, or think it fit to question them?” He hated using his authority, especially against Samiah. It felt so false considering the other relationship they had shared.
Her eyes were cold, their green, almost white hue reflecting the icy streak he knew her to have. It seemed to be floating on the surface, desperate to be unleashed.
“I didn’t ignore any of my orders, sir. I merely tried to improve them.”
“You’re suspended from duty for the rest of the day to be disciplined later. Go and rest, and take some time to think about exactly what an order from a superior means. This will be going on your record.”
“Jax…”
“Don’t Jax me. You’ve been given another order, I’d recommend against improving on this one. Leave.”
Samiah said nothing else as she swept from the dungeon but seemed to hiss at Jala as she passed. He had no intention of actually putting the misdemeanour on her file, it would draw more attention than he wanted, but he hoped Samiah believed he would. Her job was everything to her; the pride she felt in her position well known throughout the ranks. Her ambition to hold Xave’s position as Senior attaché to the King often discussed and joked about.
“She doesn’t love you. I hope you know that.” The voice surprised him. At first, he thought it was coming from Jala’s red tinged lips, but he knew her western drawl. Becca was awake, had been awake the whole time and seemed thoroughly amused. It was all over her thinned features.
“I wouldn’t want her to.” He answered her, the words ringing true as he said them. He wasn’t even sure he liked her anymore, let alone wanted a place in her heart or she in his. There didn’t seem to be much room in Samiah’s heart for anything but what she wanted. Or perhaps Reyn. He couldn’t help but wonder if the Prince knew he would be just another step up the ladder.
“Give her the water Jal. I’ve got some things to do, will you be alright here?”
“She’ll be fine. We get on quite well when the other one isn’t around,” Becca assured him.
“I’ll take care of everything Jax. You do what you got to do. No offence but you look like shit.”
As he left, he could hear Becca asking her if she knew what was really wrong with him, if Jaxon Rowdedge’s secret was Jala’s to keep.
It wasn’t anyone’s to keep but his, but he did have a feeling that perhaps Becca Youchnore might know more than she should.
Twenty - Mara
She hadn’t been alone with Ivloch in his pavilion since her first day here. Always someone else with them or something else to do.
It had come as a surprise when Katanya poked her head into the tent she was sharing with Idyn. He had been telling her about an old Earth rhyme he had loved as a child and she’d found it fascinating. The way his eyes would light up, the way his arms would move and tell the story with him. The enthusiasm had seemed to fill up the tent and her heart also, keeping her warmer than even the power inside her managed.
“Ivloch’s requested to see you,” Katanya had proclaimed, no apology for interrupting and no preamble. Just a raised eyebrow and the smallest smug look in her and Idyn’s direction.
“Do you know why?” Mara felt her panic rising. She climbed out the tent and put her green cloak around her shoulders. The morning air was colder than it had been in at least half a Moon Turn. Summer was leaving them, giving birth to the awakening. Of the three seasons in Brodanna, it was always her favourite.
“I know most things, but alas, not everything. You should probably find out though, he isn’t in a good mood today.”
Mara walked the short distance quickly, leaving Katanya talking to an emerging Idyn. If she hadn’t then she would have turned around, and pathetically begged one of them to come with her. She felt almost like a child; desperate to know if they had done something wrong. She liked Ivloch, what he was doing here was nothing short of extraordinary, how he managed it when he was trying to deal with his own loss, she didn’t know.
Idyn had spoken long into the darkness about Ivloch and Becca. What they had done for him, for Camrin, for Katanya, and even Elex. How he loved and missed her but would honour her wishes until The Unforgiven took him from this world kicking and screaming. It was impressive and it was daunting.
She was not what he had expected to be working with. The idea of seeing disappointment on his face or him telling her she wasn’t good enough… Her Mark could be passed on after all… if she were to die.
She didn’t honestly occupy the idea that Ivloch would go to such extreme measures to get rid of her, but it was there. It could be done.
Idyn had mentioned how The Guild’s vow included protecting her from any harm, but wasn’t there a way around everything? She had hated this life so much, this destiny that had been thrust upon her and some days she still did. Others…being part of the fight felt like the only time, apart from when she could dive into her stories, that she felt alive. Like she had found a home after all.
A part of her had started to feel like she belonged here.
Wanted to be here.
Idyn was definitely part of it; there was no point denying it anymore.
Being with him made her feel whole; like a piece of a puzzle h
ad been missing and she had never noticed before. The sort of feelings she had only read about before. Nothing like Xave. Xave had tried to make her something else, had never really cared about who she was or wanted to be. Her young heart just aching for the attention he was willing to provide.
She was starting to consider Katanya a friend, as horrified as she would be to hear it. Mara thought she was wearing down her defences slowly, removing that wall that she continuously tried to keep around herself. Even Yenna, Dexter, Jengen, Fendir, and grumpy Lorren were faces she wanted to see.
It was Dexter now, who guarded the pavilion door.
“Hey Mara,” he beamed, his hair in a variety of more elaborate plaits than usual. He pulled the canvas aside and ushered her in. Her heart stopped beating as she saw Ivloch sitting behind his too small desk, glowering at her entrance.
“Ah Mara, please come sit.” She did as she was told, in the seat opposite him. He seemed to stroke his beard and take her in, keeping her waiting.
“Katanya said you wanted to see me.”
“That I did, that I do.” The silence continued. She wanted to say something to fill it, but nothing seemed appropriate.
He was wearing his armour this time, no friendly tunic. She wondered if he had to get the plates of it made specially to cover the sheer size of him. That is if some blacksmith somewhere was particularly inclined to help them.
“Katanya tells me your training has been going remarkably well.”
“That’s nice of her. I think, I think I have improved.” She had, she knew she had. She was far from the best, but she had managed to knock Katanya off her feet the night before, to make the stick men she made fly apart, and actually light the fire Katanya had demanded. It really had been about listening to the voice. In trusting herself. If only it were so easy in all situations.
“I’m glad to hear it Mara, I’ll have to come and watch one of your training sessions some time. Archery isn’t my strong point either.”
Ivloch grinned but Mara blushed. Had Katanya told him of all her failures?
He moved himself out from behind the desk, knocking it slightly with his bulk and paced around her.
“I feel like we haven’t…got to know each other as much as I’d like and I’m sorry for that. It’s one of the times I miss Becca the most; she was always so good with people, at making me good with people.” He let out a breath of air, as his hand rested on the hilt of his sword. “I wanted to tell you something. It feels like something you should know, two things actually.” His large eyes peered at her, like globes between the sheer amount of hair on his head.
“I…yes please.”
He seemed to choose to ignore her awkwardness; perhaps in the hopes she wouldn’t bring attention to his own.
“Kara’s sword, the one we took from The Facility the night we found you, I’ve managed to get it to an associate of mine. I’d rather if we were ever found here that they didn’t capture it. A precautionary measure we will hopefully never need, but I believe she will take it somewhere safe.”
“It’s safer and sensible,” she agreed. The sword itself meant little to her; she knew its importance in the end, knew they needed it but it simply made her think of Xave and Elex. It being far away from her seemed like a good thing.
“I’m glad you agree!” He looked almost proud, as if that part of the conversation had gone better than anticipated. “There is something else Mara, something that Katanya told me I should tell you myself. She seems to think you’re unaware of it. I thought maybe you had guessed…”
Mara met his uncertain eyes. She didn’t know what she was supposed to have guessed but was quite sure she hadn’t. So far this was nothing like she had feared, but it still felt strange, as if both of them were trying to navigate new ground but no one had provided a map. Ivloch seemed to want her to say something, anything, but nothing came to mind so she just continued looking at him hoping whatever the news was it wasn’t as awful as her mind was already imagining it could be.
Ivloch tutted, not in irritation, but in dismay and then moved his hands to the line of his armour. He pulled it over his head, the plates clanking as if hesitant to leave the man they were forged to protect. She was quite uncertain of what he was doing. He walked towards the now immaculately made bed he had on the furthest side and dropped it on the sheets. He was wearing what appeared to be an armless gilet underneath, covered in fur. Her first thought was how warm he must have been under all that metal and then her eyes found his right arm. At the thing on his wrist.
She jumped up off the chair, her legs moving towards him before she could stop them. It was a Guardian Mark. The curling sword and crown, the sign of the shield, the thorns, but with a curling G instead of the K her own Mark had. Just as deep and permanent. She was next to him and pulling his arm out to inspect, before she realised she was doing it; Ivloch chuckled at her.
“I didn’t know you were… I had no idea.”
“It is not something I tend to publicise…I believe enough people have a reason to want me dead.” He was still letting her look at his arm. Kara’s Guild Mark was bright and evident on the other wrist. He really was a man Marked by what he believed in.
More importantly, he certainly wouldn’t be thinking about killing her to replace her. To do so would end his own life. A Guardian always perished if they harmed Kara's Mark. A life whose main purpose was to protect the holder of the Mark. The pain he must have been in the whole time Elex was undercover; the failure and sheer awfulness that must have been added to the normal suffering as she died.
The reason he had truly been able to find her the night in The Facility was because her Mark called to his.
“I know you didn’t ask for this life Mara; but I hope you can see there is some ruddy good in it. In the people here and what we are trying to save.”
She did. She was starting to.
“Were you born with it?” Mara moved herself back into the chair, desperate for something to support her weight as she processed the information.
“I was not.” He was thinking of something as he answered, the changed tone and faraway expression told her so. “That however is a story for another day. I received it from a remarkable man though, one I think you would have liked.”
“I hope to hear it sometime.” She truly did. The stories about past Guardians, Kara, and the true history of Brodanna were quickly becoming her favourite.
There was still so much to learn.
Still, some things were worth learning.
Twenty-One - Katanya
Idyn pulled himself out of his tent and yawned.
“Is he really in a bad mood today?”
“I told him he needs to tell her some things and you know what he’s like when he knows someone else is right.” Idyn pulled a face and she laughed. Being with him was easy, as easy as it was with Ivloch and keeping a distance was becoming harder. Remembering her and Ballaca didn’t belong here anymore was more difficult with each passing night.
She had promised Ivloch a few moons. The tears and the Katanya that loved him wouldn’t let her say anything less. Each dawn she lied to herself that it would be the last.
She had begun unpacking her bags in the tent, finding Ballaca the best stable… it was a mess. The new Katanya was feeling more absent and lost each day; the older version more prominent. She’d dreamed of Darkstars again. She’d even started to be excited to train Mara, and unleash her own gifts. It had been so long since her power had done anything that wasn't trivial.
Idyn smoothed his fur cloak and pointed towards the end of the camp where they kept the other animals and supplies. Fendir and Jengen would be on guard.
“I’m supposed to have a shift soon. Want to walk me there?” Despite herself she agreed, and they started to move, their pace perfectly matched. She told herself she was going to see Ballaca, it wasn’t just to spend time with an old friend, a brother, or to feel comfortable with someone.
“It’s nice having you back.”
“You like her!” She had guessed as much but wanted to hear him say it. He paled and ran a hand through his hair.
“You like her too. It takes a lot to warm the heart of the great Katanya but I reckon she’s done it.” He waved at Yenna, who was busy fretting with some children, as they passed her.
“I do, one of the only things I think me and Elex have ever agreed on, but I don’t think we like her quite in the same way, do we Idyn?”
“She’s…incredible Kat. She’s smarter than she knows, and she’s interested in everything and I know it’s not clever or wise but yeah I like her. I like her more than I’ve probably ever liked anything. Seeing Mara makes me happy, being with her is even better and when she’s not there I miss her. It’s ridiculous and I barely know her. This is Cam’s domain not mine.”
His words gave her mixed emotions. She was happy he had found that feeling, a feeling she remembered far too well and doubted would ever be hers again. She had been lucky enough to find it once.
There was also a worry, a worry for Idyn who had never been in love before; and a worry for the object of desire that his heart had chosen. Their life was far from safe, it was even more dangerous for the one Marked by Kara. They had both seen the damage caused to Camrin. The burden Elex could never bare.
“You’ve got it bad brother.”
“I think I do. Do you think she…” He reddened, hand in his hair again, unable to ask the question not wanting to look foolish.
“She’s definitely interested. I refuse to play matchmaker for you though, you’re old and ugly enough to do it yourself.” He beamed, she knew he had taken in only her first words. “Does she know there hasn’t been any one else?”
Idyn shook his head. “I’ll tell her, and I’ll be careful. But Kat, I don’t think she would harm me, she doesn’t seem like that and if for whatever other reason I get hurt… It’s worth it right?” He had stopped walking, the guilt at the question evident. Kyllian had loved Idyn as fiercely as she had.