by M A Price
At least the pain would stop and someone else could be the hero that he had failed so wonderfully to be.
Reyn walked backwards and pulled the door to the room closed. He bolted it firmly shut and came towards the bars.
“Killing me won't make your father love you.” Jaxon blurted. A stupid petty thing to say. Wrong also he imagined, Jefferson would certainly reward such a prize.
That was when the real horrible thought occurred to him.
Some things were worse than death.
For The Unforgiven to claim another Guardian would be… devastating. Another piece of the puzzle they all desperately needed to return and lower the barrier. To destroy every living User and everyone else on Brodanna and across Death’s Sea. To kill Myka and his mother.
Perhaps he could be a hero after all. If that was the plan then he could take his own life. Give Becca’s husband a chance to find the new Guardian. It would give Brodanna a chance.. No songs would ever be sung of his name and Myka would never know, but he could do it, he could be brave for the first and last time.
“He isn’t going to kill you, you fool,” Becca warned “He wants much more from you than your life.”
Jaxon looked again at Reyn. At the Prince’s black eyes and their intent. He hadn’t drawn the sword from his back, and he hadn’t called the other guards who could witness his heroics. He was standing alone, practically in a cell with him and the wife of his mortal enemy.
“I’m glad someone understands, Mrs Youchnore.”
“I’m hardly at my best right now but I’m picking up the basics,” she retorted.
Jaxon could feel his head spinning. His secret…Reyn hated him.
“I don’t want to kill you Jaxon and I don’t want Xave or anyone else to find out what you are. Quite frankly the way you’ve been lately I’m surprised they haven’t already,” he shared a knowing look with Becca. “Your friend is certainly suspicious, and I wouldn’t trust her in any form if I were you. You’ve been playing a dangerous game, one you’re about to lose, but I can help you. If you’ll let me.”
“Why would you want to help me? It’s your family who have welcomed The Unforgiven, you have done this!”
“My father has done this!” Jaxon was unprepared for the anger he had awoken in the Prince. “You forget I have lost a brother to my Father’s mad crusade already, and my sister has been claimed by nothing short of a monster. We’re very likely on the brink of a war which could tear the rest of this world apart, and quite frankly I live here; I like living and I like it here. Do you honestly think I want to live in a world ruled by a coven of century old terrorists? Their desire for power would not stop at this world, it would see them take their war to the Seven Worlds. I’d really rather we did all we can to change things for the better now to avoid such a fate. Is that simple enough?”
“I quite like him!” Becca exclaimed, distracting his addled mind further.
“I’m quite the fan of your work myself and I’m sorry about the conditions you’ve been kept in. I campaigned for your release when you first came here but I’m afraid any sway I did have has long gone. This is the first time I’ve even been able to make my way down here, not for want of trying.” Jaxon remembered the argument he had witnessed with Reyn demanding to come to the dungeons and see Becca. The joy in Xave’s voice at declining him. Could he be telling the truth?
He had thought he imagined every possible way that this talk with Becca could go the evening before; but this one had not occurred to him. Perhaps it really was all a dream and he should wake up, take over Jala’s shift and tell her to get some rest.
“I think we ought to make a plan going forward, the three of us together maybe?” Reyn suggested. “Find some sort of way for us all to get through this mess alive, maybe?”
Twenty-Five - Camrin
He walked briskly through the camp to reach Ivloch’s pavilion.
The sky had remained overcast; the threat of rain obvious in the air. He saw people scrambling around to cover everything from the oncoming threat and idly wondered if all the things in his own tent were safe. He hoped so but there was no time to check.
Yenna’s face looked grave as she moved out the way for him to enter. He’d had a feeling this meeting wasn’t going to be a good one and her expression all but confirmed it.
As he walked inside, he saw the others already there. Mara shifted between legs at the table, Idyn waved at him but didn’t take his other arm from around her back. Katanya was sprawled out in a chair, looking grimmer than even Yenna. Ivloch was pacing, as he had expected him to be. None of them spoke and he knew they’d been waiting for him.
“What is it?”
Ivloch exhaled and looked tired. Like the weight of the world was heavy on his shoulders and Camrin supposed in a way, it was.
Perhaps more than one.
“We’ve had more news from Niya.”
“How bad?” He strode to the table to join them.
“She’s found out how they’re turning everyone, I mean how they’re getting The Unforgiven into non-Wielders.” Katanya spoke and Camrin refused to look at her. They still hadn’t spoken since the day of her return and he sure as hell refused to be the one to break the silence. She’d left them.
He remained silent and waited for someone to explain how. He knew they would and hearing the information before he spoke would be better than speaking out of turn . Something he could admit he had done too much of recently.
“They’ve had some of the Users create a serum. It injects User power into the body, in a way that won’t kill them. It also slows their mind. It’s enough to make them compatible with The Unforgiven and unable to reject their consciousness as they enter their body.” Ivloch sat on the seat behind his desk as his words ended. The others were still cradled around the table. Camrin looked to each of them in turn, excluding Katanya, but nobody met his gaze. They had known. Already dealt with their shock.
Camrin banged his fist down on the table before him, loud enough that it echoed across the whole tent.
“Cam…” Idyn began, but he seemed to stop himself. Camrin didn’t know if he thought better of it or just didn’t know what to say.
“What ruddy happens to them? The ones who are injected and taken over?” He wanted to punch more things, to fight something, to feel his blood pumping.
“We don’t know. There may be no way to get them back at all. We know that the serum isn’t ready for mass production, yet, and we know it’s being made somewhere in Tonkara so we need to make a plan.”
Ivloch’s words sounded hollow to his ears. Like a man who had no idea what that plan would be. The Tonkara Facility was no longer in operation and if it wasn’t being manufactured there, that meant the palace. They had already decided a long time ago there was no way they could survive an operation inside that place. That was the reason Becca was still there, after being moved from Torlung.
Had Elex known? Was it one of the reasons she had given up? On this? On him?
Katanya loudly cleared her throat and stood up, moving closer to the table. Her red cloak billowed behind her. Her hair was braided today, as if she was going to battle. He hated that he remembered that fact. The information about the sister who left him had never gone away.
“It gets worse, they're injecting them with Wielder blood, The Unforgiven who comes through will have some access to their own power. Not all of it. The serum can’t recreate how powerful they were, but it's enough to make them exceptionally dangerous.” Her hands flexed on the table as she finished, and he wondered if she was experiencing the same urges he was.
The two of them had always been the ones that wanted to act when they were children. Elex and Idyn thought out the plan whilst Camrin and Katanya were already halfway through doing it. It had always been a recipe for disaster, or at least many arguments.
“So, what you’re saying is they could turn pretty much everyone on this ruddy planet. That literally all of us could help destroy our world and every
one we love with no way back. You’re saying there’s no ruddy chance of us winning this at all.” He knew he was shouting but he didn’t care.
None of it mattered anymore did it? He turned to Mara. “At least you won’t be the reason we all die now!” Idyn moved towards him, a look of rare anger contorting his features but Camrin refused to acknowledge him.
He left the tent quicker than he entered, barging past Yenna as he went.
To hell with all of it, they were screwed anyway.
***
He kicked the makeshift temple to The Transmitter as he passed.
Why would any damn god take them from Earth to let them have a war? To then leave them here stranded? To let more people die pointlessly?
Damn everyone who believed in Kara too.
Some stupid queen who had done nothing but save the people she cared about. She’d always known eventually The Unforgiven would break through the cage she put them in. That future generations would have to face the threat that she herself could never defeat.
To have their bodies used as puppets before they went…that cruel twist of fate that she had left them with.
That was the worst part of all.
He was at the tree line before he realised someone was following him.
He didn’t know where he was headed. He supposed towards the river, or that seemed to be the direction his legs moved. The person behind him ran to catch up. He wasn’t sure who it was, but knew it wasn’t Idyn. Idyn would do the responsible thing and take some time to cool off before he faced him.
He whirled as a hand touched his shoulder. He hadn’t expected to find Katanya there. Her braid had come loose and the red cloak was gone.
“Walk with me,” she demanded pacing towards the forest. He wanted to swear at her, tell her to leave him the hell alone but instead he fell in line. He loathed himself for it.
They walked in silence, not towards the river but instead in the opposite direction, towards the supply route where he had found her a moon turn ago.
“I’m sorry I left Cam, I know you’re angry and I get it, but you’ve got to talk to me.”
“I don’t have to do anything.”
“Alright, you should talk to me.”
She was right. He knew that. Talking to Niya had made him realise that actually having someone there did help. Pride wouldn’t let him go to his usual outlet of Idyn; but Katanya had left him. He’d had to handle everything whilst she had been god-knows where. Whilst the world seemed to fall down around them.
“Do you know what he was like after you left, after we lost Becca?! You were his daughter, his favourite and you left. He lost you both, within moons of each other. You damn near broke him... you damn near broke us! Do you have any idea what that was like?!"
His outcry surprised even him.
Katanya stopped walking. She didn’t look away from him and he thought maybe he could see the glint of tears in her eyes, but he wasn’t sure they weren’t his own.
“I don’t know Cam and I am sorry. I…I shouldn’t have left you to deal with that. I know that now.” She walked towards him and tried to take his hand. “I’m not going to go anywhere again, whatever happens. I want you to know that. You won’t believe me now, I wouldn’t, but I won’t.”
He pulled back. He knew he was crying now, they were his tears and she would see, but what did it really matter? He was making a habit of these ridiculous emotional displays anyway.
“You’re lying Katanya. You never took the vow. Even when you were here. You always left your options open. You thought you suffered and that was enough.” He could hear the venom in his own voice. He didn’t even know if he meant what was spewing out of his mouth. She had suffered, more than most. Was it fair to throw it in her face? “It doesn’t matter now either does it? None of it does. You heard Niya’s news. None of us are gonna make it out of this. We’re all going to end up like Elex. Gone.”
He kept walking backwards until he hit a tree trunk, it’s long branches trying to rip at his leather armour. He wanted to run but instead he felt his body falling, leaning against the branches as he fell to the floor, cradling his own arms, the tears blinding him.
Katanya was there, kneeling in front of him and stroking his scalp. Part of him wanted to push her away, to scream more but he made no move to do so. The part of him that wanted his sister was too strong. The part that didn’t want to deal with all of this alone.
“I know what it’s like to lose someone you love Camrin and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. You need to talk about this though, about Elex. I know you guys had a messed-up relationship and you never really knew what was happening or how you felt but you did care about her and you can’t do this on your own. I want you to know I’ve never left my options open though. I was in a Facility and tortured daily for this Guild. I lost the man I love for this Guild. You aren’t the only one who’s suffered Camrin or the only one who will. The things that we found out today are bad and the odds are stacked against us, but haven’t they always been? Isn’t that when we’re usually at our best?”
He finally stopped crying and looked at the woman before him. He’d spent the last twelve moon turns hating her for leaving him and also hating himself for letting her. He realised now, as he looked at her, that perhaps some of the things he’d been thinking in those turns hadn’t been fair. She was one of them, as much as he was.
Perhaps part of him had even been angry she was the one to go.
He didn’t remember how to be close to her, and he wasn’t sure if he could ever be again. The way he had acted with those close to him had never been the same as everyone else. Always on the outside, even with his family, but he did know that having her here made his heart feel slightly less heavy.
"We're rarely at our best unless we're in a fight Katanya."
"Funnily enough I think that's what The Unforgiven are looking for. More's the pity for them."
Most of his demons were his alone to fight; but it might be nice to have a familiar face around.
After all, things weren’t exactly going well for any of them.
Twenty-Six - Jaxon
They’d talked long into the night; the first time and regularly since.
Reyn hadn’t come to Becca’s cell again, it was far too suspicious, and they couldn’t meet openly so it was mostly only Reyn and himself, Jaxon passing on news to Becca whenever the chance availed itself.
It happened in the dead of night. They always made sure nobody followed either of them and never spoke in public apart from to occasionally sneer at the other like before. Reyn seemed to find that detail a great delight, impressed with his performance after each occasion.
Jaxon, however, was discovering he was glad he had never decided to hide as an actor. He wouldn’t have gotten far.
He had been taking the tonic Becca suggested for half a moon turn and it was making a difference. The Marks hadn’t returned any further. He didn’t look as sick as he had, still far from his best and he could still feel the pain of his power and that of the Marks, but he was getting better at hiding it.
The long sleeves surprisingly helped too and the weather had cooled considerably. Samiah had even dropped the issue now after plaguing him with questions and declarations that she preferred the uniform which ‘highlighted his muscles’. It was a compliment that he, not too long ago, would have thrived upon; now it left him horribly unmoved.
She was still trying to charm Reyn. She spoke about it in hushed whispers whenever they worked together or she appeared in Jaxon’s chambers. She thought Reyn was avoiding her, but oh he was so charming when he didn’t. If the rumours were true then there must be so many girls but she would win him over… the talk went on and on.
She had accused him of being jealous that her affections weren’t only his but he assured her, entirely honestly, that was not the case at all. Reyn was welcome to her idea of love; he just didn’t believe the Prince wanted it.
He’d wanted to end all connections he had with
Samiah but both Reyn and Becca had put a stop to that plan. To move her out of his unit, that was so highly regarded, would be such an insult she would want revenge. A door they did not want opened. If he ended their attempt at friendship or avoided her as obviously as Reyn attempted then the same could occur. Jaxon had even suggested she’d lose interest in him if Reyn were to spend some time with her and the Prince had promptly left their meeting with a look of disgust that had made him feel guilty for hours.
The notion of feeling bad for hurting Reyn’s feelings was also providing an entirely new experience.
He couldn’t say he liked him; or enjoyed the worry that his secret was so known but working with Reyn and Becca had brought an odd peace to his existence. A tiny nugget of pride that allowed him to sleep a little easier.
Becca was teaching him things about Kara’s Guild; things he had always wondered but never sought out. What they were doing seemed good. The way she spoke of her husband always surprised him the most.
He had spent his time in the King’s service hearing of a monster who was hell bent on destroying the peace the King so desperately wanted to deliver. Becca spoke of him as a gentle man, one that kissed her tears away, always gave her the blanket, and loved those around him more than he could ever love himself. Talking about him seemed to strengthen her in a way that nothing else did; it gave her a glow in her cheeks that food or Jala’s rough attempts with healing salve simply couldn’t match.
He wasn’t always good at responding or even knowing what to say to her, but she didn't seem to mind. Reyn had been exemplary on their one and only meeting; he asked her questions, prompted for details and seemed to always have the correct phrase prepared.
Jaxon just thought how little of love he really understood. To love a person, a family or a country as much as Becca did. To be willing to suffer so much was not something he could ever imagine doing. Her words of adoration seemed almost like an alien language that nobody would let him translate.