“Dear mother,” pleaded Violet, with unusual gentleness, “pray don’t give way to this unnecessary grief. You cannot surely believe that I tried to set this dear old home on fire — that I could be so foolish — granting even that I were wicked enough to do it — as to destroy a place I love — the house in which my father was born! You can’t believe such a thing, mother.”
“I know that you are making my life miserable,” sobbed Mrs. Winstanley, feebly dabbing her forehead with a flimsy Valenciennes bordered handkerchief, steeped in eau-de-cologne, “and I am sure Conrad would not tell a falsehood.”
“Perhaps not,” said Vixen with a gloomy look. “We will take it for granted that he is perfection and could not do wrong. But in this case he is mistaken. I felt quite capable of killing him, but not of setting fire to this house.”
“Oh,” wailed Pamela distractedly, “this is too dreadful! To think that I should have a daughter who confesses herself at heart a murderess.”
“Unhappily it is true, mother,” said Vixen, moodily contrite. “For just that one moment of my life I felt a murderous impulse — and from the impulse to the execution is a very short step. I don’t feel myself very superior to the people who are hanged at Newgate, I assure you.”
“What is to become of me?” inquired Mrs. Winstanley in abject lamentation. “It is too hard that my own daughter should be a source of misery in my married life, that she should harden her heart against the best of stepfathers, and try, yes, actually try, to bring discord between me and the husband I love. I don’t know what I have done that I should be so miserable.”
“Dear mother, only be calm and listen to me,” urged Violet, who was very calm herself, with a coldly resolute air which presently obtained ascendency over her agitated parent. “If I have been the source of misery, that misery cannot too soon come to an end. I have long felt that I have no place in this house — that I am one too many in our small family. I feel now — yes, mamma, I feel and know that the same roof cannot cover me and Captain Winstanley. He and I can no longer sit at the same board, or live in the same house. That must end at once.”
“What complaint can you have to make against him, Violet?” cried her mother hysterically, and with a good deal more dabbing of the perfumed handkerchief upon her fevered brow. “I am sure no father could be kinder than Conrad would be to you if you would only let him. But you have set yourself against him from the very first. It seems as if you grudged me my happiness.”
“It shall seem so no longer, mamma. I will cease to be a thorn in your garland of roses,” replied Vixen, with exceeding bitterness. “I will leave the Abbey House directly any other home can be found for me. If dear old McCroke would take care of me I should like to go abroad, somewhere very far, to some strange place, where all things would be different and new to me,” continued Vixen, unconsciously betraying that aching desire for forgetfulness natural to a wounded heart. “Sweden, or Norway, for instance. I think I should like to spend a year in one of those cold strange lands, with good old McCroke for my companion. There would be nothing to remind me of the Forest,” she concluded with a stifled sob.
“My dear Violet, you have such wild ideas,” exclaimed her mother with an injured air. “It is just as Conrad says. You have no notion of the proprieties. Sweden or Norway, indeed! Was there ever anything so outlandish? What would people say, I wonder?”
“Ah, what indeed, mamma. Perhaps, they might for once say what is true: that I could not get on with Captain Winstanley, and so was forced to find another home.”
“And what a reproach that would be to me,” cried her mother. “You are so selfish, Violet; you think of no one but yourself.”
“Perhaps that is because nobody else thinks of me, mother.”
“How can you say such abominable things, Violet? Am I not thinking of you this moment? I am sure I have thought of you this evening until my head aches. You force one to think about you, when you behave in such a disgraceful manner.”
“What have I done that is disgraceful, mamma? I have ridden out at an unusual hour to get a place for an old servant — a man who has served in this house faithfully for forty years. That is what I have done, and I should not be ashamed if it were known to everybody in Hampshire. Yes, even to Lady Mabel Ashbourne, that pattern of chilly propriety. The disgrace is Captain Winstanley’s. It is he who ought to be ashamed of turning off my father and grandfather’s old servant. What you have to be sorry for, mamma, is that you have married a man capable of such an action.”
“How dare you speak against him!” cried the offended wife. “He has done everything for the best. It was your own foolish conduct that obliged him to dismiss Bates. To think that a daughter of mine should have so little self-respect as to go roaming about the Forest with an engaged man! It is too dreadful.”
“You need not make yourself unhappy about the engaged man, mamma,” said Vixen scornfully. “He is out of danger. Rorie and I need never see each other again. I should be more than content that it should be so. Only arrange with Captain Winstanley for some allowance to be made me — just money enough to enable me to live abroad with dear old McCroke. I want no gaieties, I want no fine dresses, The simplest mode of life, in a strange country, will suit me best.”
“I can’t bear the idea of your going away,” whimpered Mrs. Winstanley. “People will talk so. A stepfather’s is such a delicate position. People are sure to say cruel things about Conrad. And it is all your fault, Violet. We might have lived so happily together if you had liked.”
“We might, perhaps, mamma; but I don’t think any of us knew the way. Captain Winstanley could hardly expect that to sell my father’s favourite horse was the shortest way to my liking; and that’s how he began his reign in this house. Don’t let us talk any more, my dear mother. Words are useless to heal such wounds as ours. Good-night. Sleep well, and forget all about me. To-morrow you and the Captain can give me my liberty.”
“I thought you were so fond of the Abbey House,” moaned her mother.
“So I was when it was home. It has ceased to be my home, and I shall be glad to leave it.”
“Oh, Violet, you have a hard heart.”
“Good-night, mamma.”
She was gone, leaving Mrs. Winstanley feebly moaning, and vaguely dabbing her forehead, feeling that the Fates had not been kind to her. Life seemed to have gone all askew. It was as if Theodore had taken to sending home misfits. Nothing was smooth or pleasant in an existence whose halcyon calm had once been undisturbed by so much as a crumpled rose-leaf.
Vixen went straight to her room, accompanied by Argus, who had followed her from the hall to the door of her mother’s dressing-room, and had waited patiently for her in the corridor, with his head leaning against the closed door, as if he scented trouble within.
When girl and dog were alone together, Violet flung herself on the ground, threw her arms round the mastiff’s thick neck, and let her tears flow freely against that faithful head.
“Oh, Argus,” she cried piteously, “you are the only friend left me in this wide world!”
VOLUME III.
CHAPTER I.
Going into Exile.
After a long sleepless night of tossing to and fro, Vixen rose with the first stir of life in the old house, and made herself ready to face the bleak hard world. Her meditations of the night had brought no new light to her mind. It was very clear to her that she must go away — as far as possible — from her old home. Her banishment was necessary for everybody’s sake. For the sake of Rorie, who must behave like a man of honour, and keep his engagement with Lady Mabel, and shut his old playfellow out of his heart. For the sake of Mrs. Winstanley, who could never be happy while there was discord in her home; and last of all, for Violet herself, who felt that joy and peace had fled from the Abbey House for ever, and that it would be better to be anywhere, in the coldest strangest region of this wide earth, verily friendless and alone among strange faces, than here among friends who were but friends in na
me, and among scenes that were haunted with the ghosts of dead joys.
She went round the gardens and shrubberies in the early morning, looking sadly at everything, as if she were bidding the trees and flowers a long farewell. The rhododendron thickets were shining with dew, the grassy tracks in that wilderness of verdure were wet and cold under Vixen’s feet. She wandered in and out among the groups of wild growing shrubs, rising one above another to the height of forest trees, and then she went out by the old five-barred gate which Titmouse used to jump so merrily, and rambled in the plantation till the sun was high, and the pines began to breathe forth their incense as the day-god warmed them into life.
It was half-past eight. Nine was the hour for breakfast, a meal at which, during the Squire’s time, the fragile Pamela had rarely appeared, but which, under the present régime, she generally graced with her presence. Captain Winstanley was an early riser, and was not sparing in his contempt for sluggish habits.
Vixen had made up her mind never again to sit at meat with her stepfather; so she went straight to her own den, and told Phoebe to bring her a cup of tea.
“I don’t want anything else,” she said wearily when the girl suggested a more substantial breakfast; “I should like to see mamma presently. Do you know if she has gone down?”
“No, miss. Mrs. Winstanley is not very well this morning. Pauline has taken her up a cup of tea.”
Vixen sat idly by the open window, sipping her tea, and caressing Argus’s big head with a listless hand, waiting for the next stroke of fate. She was sorry for her mother, but had no wish to see her. What could they say to each other — they, whose thoughts and feelings were so wide apart? Presently Phoebe came in with a little three-cornered note, written in pencil.
“Pauline asked me to give you this from your ma, miss.”
The note was brief, written in short gasps, with dashes between them.
“I feel too crushed and ill to see you — I have told Conrad what you wish — he is all goodness — he will tell you what we have decided — try to be worthier of his kindness — poor misguided child — he will see you in his study, directly after breakfast — pray control your unhappy temper.”
“His study, indeed!” ejaculated Vixen, tearing up the little note and scattering its perfumed fragments on the breeze; “my father’s room, which he has usurped. I think I hate him just a little worse in that room than anywhere else — though that would seem hardly possible, when I hate him so cordially everywhere.”
She went to the looking-glass, and surveyed herself proudly as she smoothed her shining hair, resolved that he should see no indication of trouble or contrition in her face. She was very pale, but her tears of last night had left no traces. There was a steadiness in her look that befitted an encounter with an enemy. A message came from the Captain, while she was standing before her glass, tying a crimson ribbon under the collar of her white morning-dress.
Would she please to go to Captain Winstanley in the study? She went without an instant’s delay, walked quietly into the room, and stood before him silently as he sat at his desk writing.
“Good-morning, Miss Tempest,” he said, looking up at her with his blandest air; “sit down, if you please. I want to have a chat with you.”
Vixen seated herself in her father’s large crimson morocco chair. She was looking round the room absently, dreamily, quite disregarding the Captain. The dear old room was full of sadly sweet associations. For the moment she forgot the existence of her foe. His cold level tones recalled her thoughts from the lamented past to the bitter present.
“Your mother informs me that you wish to leave the Abbey House,” he began; “and she has empowered me to arrange a suitable home for you elsewhere. I entirely concur in your opinion that your absence from Hampshire for the next year or so will be advantageous to yourself and others. You and Mr. Vawdrey have contrived to get yourselves unpleasantly talked about in the neighbourhood. Any further scandal may possibly be prevented by your departure.”
“It is not on that account I wish to leave home,” said Vixen proudly. “I am not afraid of scandal. If the people hereabouts are so wicked that they cannot see me riding by the side of an old friend for two or three days running without thinking evil of him and me, I am sorry for them, but I certainly should not regulate my life to please them. The reason I wish to leave the Abbey House is that I am miserable here, and have been ever since you entered it as its master. We may as well deal frankly with each other in this matter. You confessed last night that you hated me. I acknowledge to-day that I have hated you ever since I first saw you. It was an instinct.”
“We need not discuss that,” answered the Captain calmly. He had let passion master him last night, but he had himself well in hand to-day. She might be as provoking as she pleased, but she should not provoke him to betray himself as he had done last night. He detested himself for that weak outbreak of passion.
“Have you arranged with my mother for my leaving home?” inquired Vixen.
“Yes, it is all settled.”
“Then I’ll write at once to Miss McCroke. I know she will leave the people she is with to travel with me.”
“Miss McCroke has nothing to do with the question. You roaming about the world with a superannuated governess would be too preposterous. I am going to take you to Jersey by this evening’s boat. I have an aunt living there who has a fine old manor house, and who will be happy to take charge of you. She is a maiden lady, a woman of superior cultivation, who devotes herself wholly to intellectual pursuits. Her refining influence will be valuable to you. The island is lovely, the climate delicious. You could not be better off than you will be at Les Tourelles.”
“I am not going to Jersey, and I am not going to your intellectual aunt,” said Vixen resolutely.
“I beg your pardon, you are going, and immediately. Your mother and I have settled the matter between us. You have expressed a wish to leave home, and you will be pleased to go where we think proper. You had better tell Phoebe to pack your trunks. We shall leave here at ten o’clock in the evening. The boat starts from Southampton at midnight.”
Vixen felt herself conquered. She had stated her wish, and it was granted; not in the mode and manner she had desired; but perhaps she ought to be grateful for release from a home that had become loathsome to her, and not take objection to details in the scheme of her exile. To go away, quite away, and immediately, was the grand point. To fly before she saw Rorie again.
“Heaven knows how weak I might be if he were to talk to me again as he talked last night!” she said to herself. “I might not be able to bear it a second time. Oh Rorie, if you knew what it cost me to counsel you wisely, to bid you do your duty; when the vision of a happy life with you was smiling at me all the time, when the warm grasp of your dear hand made my heart thrill with joy, what a heroine you would think me! And yet nobody will ever give me credit for heroism; and I shall be remembered only as a self-willed young woman, who was troublesome to her relations, and had to be sent away from home.”
She was thinking this while she sat in her father’s chair, deliberating upon the Captain’s last speech. She decided presently to yield, and obey her mother and stepfather. After all, what did it matter where she went? That scheme of being happy in Sweden with Miss McCroke was but an idle fancy. In the depths of her inner consciousness Violet Tempest knew that she could be happy nowhere away from Rorie and the Forest. What did it matter, then, whether she went to Jersey or Kamtchatka, the sandy desert of Gobi or the Mountains of the Moon? In either case exile meant moral death, the complete renunciation of all that had been sweet and precious in her uneventful young life — the shadowy beech-groves; the wandering streams; the heathery upland plains; the deep ferny hollows, where the footsteps of humanity were almost unknown; the cluster of tall trees on the hill tops, where the herons came sailing home from their flight across Southampton Water; her childhood’s companion; her horse; her old servants. Banishment meant a long farewell to all these.
“I suppose I may take my dog with me?” she asked, after a long pause, during which she had wavered between submission and revolt, “and my maid?”
“I see no objection to your taking your dog; though I doubt whether my aunt will care to have a dog of that size prowling about her house. He can have a kennel somewhere, I daresay. You must learn to do without a maid. Feminine helplessness is going out of fashion; and one would expect an Amazon like you to be independent of lady’s-maids and milliners.”
“Why don’t you state the case in plain English?” cried Vixen scornfully. “If I took Phoebe with me she would cost money. There would be her wages and maintenance to be provided. If I leave her behind, you can dismiss her. You have a fancy for dismissing old servants.”
“Had you not better see to the packing of your trunks?” asked Captain Winstanley, ignoring this shaft.
“What is to become of my horse?”
“I think you must resign yourself to leave him to fate and me,” replied the Captain coolly; “my aunt may submit to the infliction of your dog, but that she should tolerate a young lady’s roaming about the island on a thoroughbred horse would be rather too much to expect from her old-fashioned notions of propriety.”
“Besides, even Arion would cost something to keep,” retorted Vixen, “and strict economy is the rule of your life. If you sell him — and, of course, you will do so — please let Lord Mallow have the refusal of him. I think he would buy him and treat him kindly, for my sake.”
“Wouldn’t you rather Mr. Vawdrey had him?”
“Yes, if I were free to give him away; but I suppose you would deny my right of property even in the horse my father gave me.”
Delphi Works of M. E. Braddon Page 667