“Autumn, look, I’m here to relax. Stop being so difficult. Marcus planned this trip for months. You said yourself he’s the most romantic guy you’ve ever been with. Even Dad likes him.”
I shook my head to shake the words around. “Excuse me?”
She waved her hand at me like she was dismissing me. “Oh, come on. You know Dad loves Marcus.” Her hands enveloped her stomach. “Zoey’s hungry. Would you mind getting me a slice of pizza with everything on it from the pizza bar? No, make that two slices.”
I glared at her. Dad was gone. I fought back the urge to throw a frozen drink in her face. Hot tears stung the back of my eyes. “How could you…how could you even bring Dad up? Are you trying to be mean to me on purpose?” I felt my hands shake as the memories flooded my senses.
She sat back in her chair and put her sunglasses on. “You need medication or something. What are you getting all choked up for? If anything, I should be complaining how Dad favors you all the time. God, he makes me promise to tell him where I am at all times, yet he lets you stay out until midnight or later with Marcus. Stop acting so nuts.”
I stuttered as I spoke. “But the accident. I…he…” I couldn’t finish. I felt the world around me start to tilt to the side. I grabbed the sides of the lounge chair and held them so tight my knuckles turned white. “His car…it’s been years since…”
She drew in an exaggerated breath. “What accident are you talking about?”
“The drunk driver,” I whispered. “My birthday party…he was hit head on.”
She looked into the distance for a second, then recognition lit up her eyes. “You mean that fender bender when his coworker backed into him in the parking lot after lunch? You can be so dramatic sometimes.” She waved the waiter over and asked for a virgin piña colada. “You want anything?”
I couldn’t respond. Dad had been dead for, like, ten years.
When I didn’t answer, she nodded to the waiter to get her order and just shook her head at me.
I tightened my grip on the chair. My knuckles screamed for blood. “How do you know Dad likes Marcus and we’ve been going out and all that stuff?”
She laughed. “Your little heart to heart chats with Dad are like a reality TV episode. It’s not like you try to hide anything.” The waiter returned with her frozen, cherry-topped drink. She took a long drag on her straw. Sweat from the glass dripped onto her baby bump. “Are we done? I promised Dad I would finish the books I borrowed from him before I got home.”
The tilting world leaned farther to the left. Or maybe it was the right. I didn’t know the direction, but I knew my head was on the verge of hitting the ground. “Um, Jessica?”
She huffed and lifted her sunglasses up. “What?” she snapped.
The words pushed through my throat, feeling like gravel. “Dad died in a car accident when we were little,” I whispered. It was all I could get out. My head was filled with words that had difficulty reaching my mouth. I felt my lips moving, but no sound came out. Jessica looked at me like I was crazy.
“God, Autumn, did you get too much sun or something? We live with Dad! You’re freaking me out. Are you confusing him with Mom? Because Mom died in that truck accident right after you were born, remember?” She must’ve caught the look on my face, because she added, “Of course you don’t remember. I don’t remember Mom either, though I wish I did.” Her eyes watered as she spoke. “But that’s no reason for you to be acting so weird. Are you on drugs? You’d better not be. I’ll strangle you. And you’d better not be drinking. You’re too young.”
I couldn’t speak so I just shook my head.
She let out an exaggerated sigh. “If you paid more attention to anyone else at home besides Marcus, you’d remember that Dad paid for this trip out of what he saved from the settlement with the trucking company.” She put the sunglasses back on her face and waved me off.
I’d heard enough. I’d seriously gone crazy. I had to go check myself into the cruise ship’s hospital.
I tried to get up, but my legs refused to come with me. I slid off the bottom of her chair and smeared my face against the ground. I didn’t even have my eyes closed when the darkness pulled me under.
Eight
Coldness on my face bit into the darkness. Jessica’s frantic voice snapped me out of my stupor.
“Autumn! What’s the matter? Autumn, can you hear me?” She shook my wet shoulder as she yelled, making my teeth bang together.
I felt a finger pressing the inside of my wrist. Coconut and pineapple scented the air around me. My body swayed slightly with the waves. My eyes fluttered open and I found myself sitting on Jessica’s chair. Her empty glass explained the smell and the cold. Her piña colada was dripping off my face.
I reached up to wipe my cheeks.
“Here. Let me get that for you, baby,” Marcus said. I looked at him and imagined my expression must have looked like Jessica’s when I told her I’d quit school. “Jessica, nice job throwing your drink on her face.” He laughed. “Good thing it had no alcohol or it would’ve stung her eyes.” He wiped the frost off my face with his finger, sucking the remnants off his skin.
I remained still, closed my eyes, and let Jessica finish checking my pulse. “It’s fine. You’re fine. What happened? Did the heat get to you?”
It wasn’t the heat. It was the things she’d said to me. “Um, I guess so.” I kept my eyes focused on the back of my lids. “Can you guys give me a minute?”
“No way,” Marcus said, stroking my hair. “We aren’t leaving you like this. If you’ll stay with her, Jessica, I’ll go get her something cold to drink and some food. Maybe it’s just low blood sugar.”
“Of course. Go ahead. Thanks, Marcus.” I heard his wet footsteps slapping toward the bar. “Oh, Marcus, can you bring me a slice of pizza with everything on it? Make that two slices,” Jessica yelled after him.
I opened my eyes and found Jessica’s rounded face. She looked concerned. Shocked to still see her swollen belly, I reached out and poked it.
She jumped away. “Ow! Why did you do that? Poor little Zoey,” Jessica said, rubbing the place I poked. “She didn’t mean it, baby girl. Aunt Autumn is just having a bad day.”
I shook my head, trying to clear the craziness. Maybe I just woke up from the nightmare of losing my dad and this was my reality. Maybe I was drunk and didn’t remember drinking. Maybe someone had slipped me some drug and it was just taking effect.
“You okay?” Jessica asked, wiping the rest of her drink off my neck and right shoulder.
“Um, I think so.” At this point, I was afraid to open my mouth and say much of anything. “Thanks.”
She looked into the crowd. “Oh, good. Here comes Marcus with a plate for you. It looks like his mother is with him.”
Oh, shit. His mother? I didn’t even know her and supposedly Marcus and I had been dating for a year? I’d only seen her by the pool the other day and my impression of her was not good. At least I was sort of sick. Playing dumb should be easy.
“Honey, are you okay? You poor thing.” The woman I’d seen by the pool yesterday looked at me. Her white tailored shirt and skirt matched the tennis racket she carried.
“Yes, thank you. I’m fine. I have good help.”
Marcus sat on the edge of my chair and handed me a plate with garlic pizza on it. “Your favorite.”
I took the plate from him and took a bite. It tasted like pizza. And garlic. At least that hadn’t changed. Everyone stared at me as I chewed. “I’m fine, you guys. Go have fun. I think it was the heat. Really. Don’t waste the day watching me eat.”
Marcus’s mom checked her watch, glanced over her shoulder, then nodded. “Okay dear. See you at dinner.”
I smiled and chomped down another bite of pizza.
His mother left, and Marcus grabbed my hand. “I’m so glad you’re okay, baby. We can have some fun now. Just eat and get your strength back. Then it’ll be time to play!”
I looked at him, then at Jessica,
now rubbing her belly in a circular motion. “Jessica? When is the baby due?”
She exchanged glances with Marcus. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Sorry, no. I, uh, forgot.” I played with my pizza, pulling the cheese off with my fingers. “Guess this heat is really messing with my mind.” I stuffed the cheese in my mouth, getting sauce on the corner of my lip.
“Zoey is due on your birthday, baby. You picked out her name, remember?” Marcus asked. He leaned over and licked the sauce off the edge of my mouth.
Yeah, sure. Remember something that never happened? I didn’t even know who Zoey’s father was. I swiped the saliva away with Jessica’s towel and contemplated what life would be like in one of those mental institutions.
Probably pretty damn good right about now.
Jessica rubbed my shoulder. “I’m going to a cake decorating class, okay? You’re in good hands with Marcus.” She glared at him and pointed to my slice. “And since he forgot my pizza, I’m stopping for some on the way.”
I nodded and took another bite. Marcus stood. “Oh, sorry Jessica. My bad. Can I get it for you now?”
She laughed. “I was just kidding, Marcus. Take care of Autumn. I’ll see you guys later.”
Jessica struggled against her huge abdomen to get up, grab her bag, and waddle toward the elevators. Marcus sat next to me, leaned back, and closed his eyes.
I finished my slice of pizza. Sudden pressure in my bladder made me squeeze my legs together and get up.
Marcus grabbed my arm. “Where are you going?”
“Relax, Marc, I’m going to the bathroom. I think I can manage it now. I’m okay.” As okay as I would admit to.
He relaxed his grip. “Be careful.”
“Sorry. I just don’t feel that great. I’ll be back in a minute.”
I went to the bathroom and stopped at the bar on the way back to get a glass of iced tea. Joey walked up next to me and ordered a Coke.
“Joey, have you noticed anything strange going on around here?” I asked.
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye but didn’t answer. He took his Coke and scurried away like a geek being chased by a drunk jock.
Oh, right. I forgot he told me he didn’t know me this morning.
Fine, whatever. I looked down to make sure I was still a girl. With the way the day was going, anything seemed possible. All right. Still had boobs. I checked my reflection in the mirror along the back of the bar. I still looked like me.
I watched as Joey walked to a lounge chair on the other side of the wave pool. He handed the Coke to Olivia, then headed toward the diving board.
I approached her and tried my hardest to hold back the urge to toss her over the side of the ship. Her bright-orange bikini top and black bikini bottoms with smiling skulls was as mismatched as her and Joey.
“Olivia?” I said, unsure of what to expect at this point.
She blinked a few times behind her light yellow sunglasses, then glanced around behind herself before focusing on me. She pointed to her chest. “Are you talking to me?”
“Yeah. Do you remember me?”
She squinted her eyes and leaned toward me as if to get a closer look. “No, sorry. Have we met?”
I sighed. “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I guess. See ya.”
I returned to my chair to find Marcus asleep. I sat down, pulled out one of the books on the Bermuda Triangle, and tore through it.
I found lots of information on disappearances but nothing about anyone experiencing hallucinations or mental breakdowns like I was. Maybe other people had gone through it but were afraid to mention it for fear of being ridiculed or put in an institution. Or maybe I was blaming something that wasn’t at fault. Thousands of people took cruises through the Bermuda Triangle and had no problems.
I’d finally snapped, just like I’d expected.
I tossed the book onto the table, slammed my head back against the chair and wondered how I was going to survive three more days of this crap if it continued. Who knew what weirdness waited for me on this trip? Hopefully, the next time I woke up, things would be back to normal.
If there was such a thing.
Warm fingers grabbed my wrist. Jessica was checking my pulse again.
“Jessica, I’m fine. Please stop worrying.” I shooed her away with my hand. “Is your class over already?”
She dropped my wrist and sat on the edge of my chair. “It was canceled. Not enough people showed up. And Dad said you had to be nice to me on this trip or he was never allowing us to go away again together, remember?”
I jumped up. “No. I don’t remember, Jessica. I’m…I…whatever.” I plopped back into the chair and hugged my knees to my chest.
I scanned the pool area through teary eyes. A girl who appeared to be about thirteen splashed around with her dad as he held and tickled her wet feet. She laughed and begged him to stop, so he let her go and hugged her.
I hadn’t had a good Daddy hug in years.
I would have given anything to have him back. Anything. To undo his death and everything that came after would mean having my parents back. My family intact. My guilt erased. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what kind of miracle that would be.
Jessica rubbed my arm. “Sweetie, I have no idea what’s going on with you. I wish I could help you somehow. This heat must really be doing a number on you. Should we go see the doctor?” Her hand stopped, forgotten, on my elbow. “I don’t do any psychiatric nursing back home, and some of this seems to be, um, in your head. I wish Dad were here. He’d know what to do with you.”
Her comment gave me an idea. What if I had the chance to talk to him one more time? I could tell him how much I loved him and missed him and how sorry I was that he died. “Jessica, that sounds great. Can I call Dad?”
She shook her head. “No way. He’ll freak out and think we got malaria or something. Why do you want to call him?”
I searched for a normal-sounding answer. “I, uh, forget to send a birthday package out to my, um, Facebook friend.” I made this shit up as I spoke, hoping she wouldn’t notice the lie.
She sighed. “Okay, fine, but make it quick and make sure to tell him there’s no emergency when he picks up. Got it?”
I nodded. “How can I call him?”
“There are phones and computers in the communications lounge on the fifth deck. I mean it, Autumn. Make it very quick. It costs a lot to make a call. And they’ll charge it to our room.”
“Yeah, fine. I’ll be right back. Hold my chair for me.”
I got up and she struggled to sink back into the chair. Marcus slept next to us with his mouth hanging open. I checked him out while he slept. He looked great in a deep blue bathing suit and no shirt. His muscles glistened in the sun. Warmth spread through my body and concentrated in the pit of my stomach.
Maybe I should just enjoy whatever was going on and stop fighting it. My whole life was fighting against everyone and everything. I was sick of it.
But the chance to talk to Dad dragged me away from Marcus and his hot bod.
I found the communications lounge and grabbed a phone. I hadn’t seen or spoken to my dad in over ten years. I had no idea what to say when he answered. Actually, I had no idea what his number was. Did we even live in that tiny apartment? All I could do was give it a shot.
My heart raced as I dialed the familiar number on the courtesy phone. The white plastic receiver slipped out of my sweaty palm twice before I wiped my hand on my shorts and got a better grip. I took a few deep breaths and waited.
One ring. My heart raced.
Two rings. My legs got weak.
Three rings, then the phone picked up. Tears sprung to my eyes. I dropped into the chair next to me so no one had to scoop me up off the floor if I fainted.
“You have reached the Taylor residence…” Jessica’s greeting on our answering machine deflated my anticipation. My heart slowed. I returned the phone to its base and went back to the pool deck, defeated.
Any touch, actually. I needed the physical support. “So glad you’re okay, baby. Wanna skip dinner with the family and hang out, just us?” he said into my ear.
What the hell. “Sure, why not?”
“Great. It’s already near four, so I’m going to tell my parents that we’re eating in, okay? I’ll catch you in your room later.” He kissed me on the cheek, letting his lips linger on my skin. I leaned into him and closed my eyes. He pinched my butt and dashed off.
I couldn’t believe it was so late. Jessica had fallen asleep in my chair, so I sat down in Marcus’s chair. My life had always been strange, but this was beyond strange. I glanced around the pool area. Kids were laughing and playing in the wave pool. Grown-ups read books and napped in the shade. A belly flop contest was underway in the big pool, sending giant waves over the edge. Everything seemed so normal.
I tapped Jessica’s shoulder.
She cracked her eyes open. “Did you talk to him?”
“No, I just got the machine.”
She took a deep breath. “Why did you call the house? He’s in Paris with his girlfriend, dummy. Try his cell.”
I let my head drop to my knees. His girlfriend? Paris?
Three initials ran through my head like a banner on CNN—WTF.
“You know what? I think I will later. I couldn’t remember the number. Do you know it offhand?”
She shook her head. “No, it’s programmed into my cell. Yours too, I’m sure.”
I dug into my bag but didn’t feel my phone. Maybe it was in the room. “Thanks. Marcus asked me to skip dinner with him so we can hang out and get room service. Do you care?”
She smiled at me. “Nope. I’m going to dinner in the dining room, then to the show, so have at it. Just be done with whatever you guys are doing by midnight. I won’t come back before then to give you some privacy, okay?”
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