“Was it nice to be back in your own bunk?” Gertrude asked as Morgan emerged from her room.
“Yeah, it was… great,” she answered with another yawn. Morgan hoped the pause wasn’t long enough for Gertrude to notice. She hoped, but didn’t think it likely. Morgan had learned quickly that keeping an eye on a little one was great practice for many things, including catching people in lies.
Gertrude’s expression shifted almost immediately, her lips pressed into a worried line.
“You want to talk about it?”
“I’m fine, G. Really.”
Gertrude didn’t look especially convinced, but she let the matter drop, deftly changing the subject.
“So, the big tour is today. Have you ever been on STEVE before?”
The Shining Triumph of Earth, Vessel 5. What a pretentious name. “No, I haven’t ever been on board. I was only a member of the crew for what? Half an hour?” Morgan said. She added a chuckle, to make sure Gertrude knew she wasn’t complaining about that fact.
Morgan had met Gertrude when they’d both been in trade school, and they’d hired on to TMH at the same time, Morgan for Steve’s crew, Gertrude on the Daystar Fading. Unfortunately, Gertrude found the child-care for the Daystar inadequate, to put it mildly. Since she’d only gone back to work because her husband had died in a training accident, it wasn’t a minor concern. Rather than risk losing one of their new hires, Captain Rain, of STEVE, had transferred Morgan to another ship so her deployment schedule would be opposite Gertrude’s, so whoever was in port could watch over Haruhi.
“Speaking of,” Gertrude said, reaching over to the small table next to the couch. “These got dropped off a bit ago.”
She handed the objects to Morgan. Once she got a good look at them she realized they were new patches for her coveralls. One was the crew patch for STEVE, a big V on a slightly stylized drawing of Earth. Appropriate, given that STEVE was probably the last Earth built ship in existence.
“What’s the V for?” Morgan asked.
“Yeah, not surprised you don’t know that. It means five, in a language that was dead and gone two thousand years before man left Earth.”
“How wonderfully useless,” Morgan said with a laugh.
The other patch was much more exciting. It was a simple symbol on a black field, a gold bar that marked her as one of STEVE’s lieutenants.
Well, sort of. Morgan was the ship’s brand new Fourth Lieutenant, a position that didn’t usually exist. For all practical purposes, she was a trainee all over again.
Taking them back from her, Gertrude pulled the existing patches off the shoulders of Morgan’s coveralls and replaced them with the new ones.
“There, now it’s official.”
“Thanks,” Morgan said. “You get your new ones for the Beacon of Twilight yet?”
With Morgan’s promotion and reassignment, Gertrude had to be moved too, to keep their schedules opposite.
“Not yet. The Beacon won’t be back in port for four months, after all.”
“You coming with me for the tour, then?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. I’m really curious to see how it differs from modern designs.”
Morgan shrugged.
“Personally, I’m more interested in how STEVE is different from civilian designed ships. I’ve never been on a military ship before, or even former military.”
“Well, that too.”
About then the other bedroom door opened, and a sleepy Haruhi stumbled out, still rubbing her eyes.
It took Haruhi a moment to process what she was seeing, but once she did she rushed forward, throwing herself at Morgan with arms outstretched.
“Aunt Morgan! Whendidyougethome!”
“Hey there, Haru,” Morgan said, squeezing the little girl back tightly. “I got back late last night. You were already asleep.”
Without releasing her grip on Morgan, Haruhi turned back to her mom.
“Mom, why didn’t you wake me up? I wanted to watch the ship come in.”
Morgan thought of all the caskets that had preceded the crew disembarking the Fate of Dawn. She shivered. Gertrude was right to leave Haruhi sleeping, just as the captain had been right to adjust their cruising speed so they would arrive in the middle of the station’s night.
“You have school today, Haruhi,” Gertrude answered deftly, a non-answer that had the virtue of being true, as far as it went.
“Well, I’m here now,” Morgan said, smiling widely and messing up Haruhi’s straight black hair. Haruhi looked remarkably like her mother, aside from the hair and eyes, which she got from her father, Kazuya.
Not that Morgan had ever met him. At some point she’d have to finally get Gertrude to tell her the story behind the ‘Naru’ nickname everyone used for him. She wasn’t even sure how Kazuya was pronounced, since she’d never heard it spoken aloud.
“Do I have to go to school today, Mom? I want to hear what Morgan did.”
“She’s going to be here for several months, sweetie. You can catch up tonight.”
“Don’t worry, Haruhi,” Morgan said with an extra squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere, and tonight we’ll do whatever you want.”
“After your homework is done,” Gertrude added.
Haruhi’s response to this was an exasperated groan, but Morgan was sure that was mostly for show.
“I’ll want to hear what you’ve been…” Morgan started saying, interrupted as her uplink chimed a notification of an incoming priority message.
“Huh,” Morgan said, pulling up the message on the wrist mounted computer.
“What is it?” Gertrude asked as Morgan read through it.
“Management has decided that the crew of the Fate of Dawn needs to recuperate. Mandatory four week vacation. They’re going to pull in help from other crews to look after the ship; it really is the whole crew.”
“If the rest of the crew looks as tired as you, it’s a good idea.”
“Gertrude?”
“Yes, Morgan?”
“What will I even do for four weeks?”
“Nothing. Anything. What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had a vacation before.”
“Last time we went to the beach,” Haruhi interjected.
“That’s right, Haruhi, we did. I’m sure Morgan will do something nice with her time off, too,” Gertrude said with a smile. “I might even have an idea or two.”
“I’ll worry about that later. I need to get ready if we’re going to be on time for the tour. I don’t imagine they’ll have canceled that,” Morgan said dismissively. She didn’t want time off, she wanted to bury herself in work. Exhaustion helped with the dreams.
“Good point. I doubt they’ve made any other transfers yet, so odds are good no one on STEVE knows about it yet. Besides,” Gertrude said, handing a plate of pancakes over to Morgan, “You don’t want to be late on your very first day.”
Morgan’s uplink chirped again, letting her know she had an incoming call. Accepting it, she held out her arm so the uplink’s holo-emitter could bring up the image, in this case the rugged and lined face of Second Lieutenant Brown, or Jacob as he insisted everyone call him.
“Downtime. You hear?” he asked in his gruff and slightly inhuman voice.
Morgan had only interacted with Jacob on a couple of occasions, but that had been sufficient for her to learn that he only spoke when absolutely necessary. She didn’t think it was because of the scarring to his throat or the mechanical replacement for his voice that could be heard when he talked, but it had hardly seemed appropriate to ask.
“I heard. I would still like a tour today if that’s possible.”
Jacob shook his head.
“Juggling to cover shifts on Fate. No one available.”
Gertrude stepped up behind Morgan, sticking her head in where it would be picked up by the uplink.
“You still want me in today? I’m mostly just supposed to help Morgan until my ship gets back from its route.�
��
Jacob shrugged.
“Talk to captain,” he added.
“Where is he?” Morgan asked, thinking more about arguing for herself than helping Gertrude.
“Office – station, not ship.”
“Thank you, sir,” Gertrude said.
Morgan nodded her agreement just before he cut the link.
Morgan glanced at the hatch leading out of their quarters.
“Would you like some company when you go talk to the captain?”
“Morgan,” Gertrude said, her tone dipping into what Morgan had mentally dubbed ‘Disapproving Mom.’
“What?” Morgan said, trying to sound innocent. Inwardly she knew it didn’t work any better than when Haruhi tried it.
Instead of answering Gertrude changed the topic.
“Eat your breakfast. All of it. Don’t think I can’t see how loose your jumpsuit is.” She turned to Haruhi, “And you best hurry too, or you are going to be late to school.”
“Okay,” Haruhi said, sitting down next to Morgan.
Morgan didn’t directly respond, but she did resume eating.
Haruhi finished first, skipping out the door with barely a long enough pause to grab her bag.
Morgan couldn’t help chuckling.
“Still ‘forgetting’ to put her dishes away?”
“Yeah,” Gertrude said with a sigh, “She gets away with it too often. Days like today, where she’s almost late.”
Gertrude grabbed Haruhi’s dishes as well as her own, then sat down on the couch, her back against the arm rest and her legs stretched out along its length so she could look at Morgan.
“You need rest, Morgan. None of this arguing with the captain that you don’t need time off.”
“Who said I was going to do that?” Morgan asked defensively.
“Uh huh. I know you. You’re allergic to time off. Normally that’s a good thing, but...” Gertrude trailed off with a frown, hesitating to continue.
“But?”
“But you’ve run yourself ragged. I don’t know what happened out there, though if you want to tell me I’ll certainly listen. Even not knowing I can tell it’s eating at you, and I don’t just mean lost muscle mass. How long have you been having nightmares like that?”
Morgan didn’t answer at first, instead taking another bite of pancake and chewing slowly.
“I didn’t think I’d woken you,” she said after swallowing. “Did I scare Haruhi?”
“You didn’t. The rooms are soundproofed pretty well. Haruhi slept just the same as always. I came out for a drink of water sometime in the night. I could hear you thrashing about and screaming in there.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t wake me,” Morgan said, not sure if she was glad about that or not.
“I was going to,”Gertrude said. “But you quieted down before I got to your door.”
Morgan couldn’t think of anything to say, so she just went back to eating.
Gertrude let her chew in silence for a bit before saying anything.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” Morgan said, slowly, clearly.
Gertrude looked long and hard at Morgan, still frowning.
“You should talk about it with someone.”
“Why? I’ll get over it. I get over everything.”
Morgan was starting to feel very uncomfortable with the conversation, but didn’t really see any way around it, aside from just getting up and leaving, which she did not want to do to her friend.
What’s the big deal? Something bad happens, you deal with it, she thought. Nightmares are simply part of that.
“Morgan,” Gertrude started, pausing again to collect her thoughts. “There are many ways to deal with something. Not all of them are healthy, and while none of them are quick some are quicker than others. Bottling it up is not good.”
Morgan shrugged.
“It has worked for me so far. You should get a move on, or you’ll be the one who is late.”
“And what are you going to do?”
Now it was Morgan’s turn to frown, scowl really.
“Well, looks like I’m stuck here. Might as well go back to sleep.”
Gertrude nodded.
“Good. You need your rest.” She stood up, heading to the hatch. “Just finish your food first.”
***
Morgan took the time to clean up from breakfast first. As annoyed as she was about the whole thing, she did have to admit that she was still tired. She could hardly stop yawning long enough to put on a fresh nightgown and flop into bed.
She was asleep within moments.
It was always hard to tell with sleep and dreams, but Morgan thought she had at least some dreamless rest before the nightmares started up again.
This one was different, though, older. There was no gunfire, no smell of blood.
Instead, Morgan found herself surrounded by darkness and silence, the smells of her daddy’s workshop the only sensory information she had.
This was an old nightmare. She was back home, in the little hidden compartment in Daddy’s tool room where she slept when she was the only one home.
In that half-remembered way of dreams she knew just before it happened that the door was going to break, and burglars enter to rifle through the tools looking for something valuable.
Only it wasn’t the burglars, but the pirates, their coarse laughter and threats ringing clearly in her ears. Suddenly Morgan found herself not in the hidden compartment, her doll clutched in one hand, but on the couch in the common room of her quarters, her body paralyzed in fear with her only protection the blanket and sheet covering her.
She tried to will her hand up to grab the pistol she could feel under the pillow, but nothing would move. She couldn’t even move her eyelids.
First the covers flew off, disappearing into the darkness without a sound. The sheet followed, leaving Morgan shivering, exposed, her nightgown doing nothing to keep out the sudden cold that assaulted her.
Oh, how she hated the cold. The oppressive heat of Hillman hadn’t been exactly fun, but at least that was something she’d adapted to, grown up with.
Footsteps approached, but Morgan still couldn’t move enough to even turn her head and look.
Hands grabbed the fabric of her gown, bodily hoisting her off the bed. Still paralyzed, Morgan found herself staring at the man she only knew as ‘mustache pirate,’ the beady-eyed man she had killed with a grenade, thrown back when they’d tossed it at Hudson and herself.
The first man she had ever killed, in fact.
Leering at her, his face contorted, taking on the grotesque nature of her imagination’s idea of how he must have looked after. She had seen plenty of bodies up close that day, but not his.
At the time she had thought it a good thing, but now… her imagination was very vivid, and the ragged face staring at her looked far worse than anything she had seen with her waking eyes.
She screamed, in terror, in revulsion, in anger. She wasn’t sure.
He screamed right back, flinging Morgan onto the couch, her back exploding in pain as she hit something far harder than the bed would really be.
Only, the pain was real, waking her up with a jolt.
“Morgan!” a familiar voice said, from very close to her. Morgan was still disoriented, confused, and she instinctively rolled away from the voice. Or would have, rather, she hadn’t noticed she was also tangled up in her blankets, and only managed to sort of turn over.
The oddity of being able to roll over even that far brought her mind into focus however, and she blinked as she looked about.
Why am I on the floor?
How am I on the floor?
These were her first thoughts, followed more naturally by an emphatic, Ow!
She was still on the station. It was still her first day back, she remembered after a moment longer. That was always the problem with naps. She woke up feeling more confused and tired than before.
Morgan tried to sit up, run
ning into more problems with the sheet still wrapped around her.
“Are you okay?” It was Gertrude asking the question, and it had been her earlier, Morgan realized.
“I, uh, seem to have fallen out of bed. I’m not sure how…” Morgan trailed off.
The screen had been closed when she went to bed. Hadn’t it?
“You were screaming in your sleep, Morgan. Again.” Gertrude said. “I was just about to wake you when you fell on the floor.”
“Bad timing, then,” Morgan said, finally giving up on getting out of the sheet. She gestured at it with the one hand she had managed to get free, letting Gertrude find the edge and help her.
“Bad dream more like it. What was it about?”
“I don’t remember,” Morgan lied.
“Bull. You need to talk about it, Morgan.”
“No. We went over this already, or did you forget?”
Gertrude had finished extricating Morgan, and helped her to her feet. The alcove was closest, so Morgan sat on the edge of her bed, hunched over to keep from hitting her head.
“I’m fine, G,” Morgan said. The waver in her voice did not help her case, however.
“What’s going on,” Haruhi said from the doorway. From the way Gertrude shot to her feet and turned around. Morgan didn’t think she’d heard the little girl approach either.
“It’s nothing,” Morgan said.
Haruhi’s home? Morgan thought. How long was I asleep?
“Just a bad dream,” Gertrude said simultaneously.
Haruhi didn’t say anything, just padded over to Morgan’s bunk. She was barefoot, but still dressed in the nice skirt and shirt combo she usually wore to school.
She sat down next to her, throwing her arms about her in a hug.
“Bad dreams are no fun,” Haruhi said at last. “Was there a scary monster in it? I get scary monsters in my dreams sometimes too.”
“Yeah,” Morgan said, returning the hug with her right arm and messing up Haruhi’s hair with her left. “Yeah, there was a monster in it. But it isn’t anything that can hurt me now, just like the monster in your dream can’t hurt you either.”
“I know.” Haruhi said simply. “At least, while I’m awake.”
Morgan nodded.
“Bit harder to remember while you’re asleep, huh?”
Haruhi nodded as well.
Black Holiday (The Black Chronicles Book 2) Page 2