by B. J Daniels
Something trickled through the numbness. Not a warmth exactly, some...sense of purpose. Some sense of accomplishment.
“You gave a big lecture about not losing your humanity, and being willing to bend your rigid moral obligations, without losing that human part of yourself. That was...by far the hardest part. Because I only had myself. At first.”
“At first?”
“I guess it changes you, or should. Shifts your priorities.”
“What does?”
Jaime was quiet again, a long humming stretch of seconds. “You know, finding...someone.” He cleared his throat. “I just assumed you and Ms. Torres...”
He let that linger there. You and Ms. Torres.
“Well, anyway, I’ve got plenty to do. But, if you want me to pave the way for you, I can try.”
“No. It’s not my place.”
“If you say so. I’ll be in touch.”
Vaughn hung up and scowled at the phone. Him and Natalie. Yeah, there’d been a thing, but it had been a thing born of fear and proximity. He’d known Jenny since he was fourteen. They’d dated for six years before they’d gotten married.
What disaster would he cause if he tried to build something on a few days of being in the same cabin? No matter what pieces of themselves they’d shared, it was based on a foundation that hadn’t just crumbled, but no longer existed.
I guess it changes you, or should. Shifts your priorities.
It had. Profoundly. Not Jenny or his love for her, but police work. It had altered him, and Jenny had never been satisfied with those changes.
He thought about that time, about how it had been easier, for both of them, to blame the job rather than admit there was a problem deep within themselves. How it had been far easier to blame some failing inside him than change it. Easier for her to blame his failings too.
He thought about those moments in the desert when he hadn’t cared about all the moral choices he’d made as a police officer. When he hadn’t cared about anything but Natalie’s safety.
He pushed away from his desk. This was insanity. He scrubbed his hands over his hair, ready to throw himself into another case, into anything that wouldn’t involve thinking about him. Or most especially her.
A knock sounded on his office door and Captain Dean stepped in. “Cooper,” he greeted with a nod.
“Captain.”
“I’ve just talked to a supervisor from the FBI, along with the officers from the gas station incident, and the other agencies involved in The Stallion case.”
“Sir?”
“Everyone has what they need from you, so you’re free to go.”
“Go?”
“Vaughn, don’t be dense. You’ve been working round-the-clock for nearly a week, you have an injury.”
“Doctors and psych cleared me to do desk work.”
“Go home. Sleep. Recharge. That’s not a suggestion, Cooper. It’s common sense.”
Vaughn could have argued, he could have even pushed, but for what? In one FBI raid, half his cases had been wiped out. Families were being reunited, people were getting answers.
The crimes that had been committed would leave a mark, there were still people to find, but Vaughn had what he’d been on the brink of losing his mind over. Case closure.
He still felt dark and empty.
Because things had shifted. Natalie had given him light for the first time in a long time. A priority that existed beyond cases and police work. Someone who understood what it was to put someone else first, and the complexity of dealing with the unsolved.
Natalie understood, in ways most people probably couldn’t. The unknowns, the toll it took, the complex emotions.
And that...that was a foundation that existed. A foundation that was stronger than any he could build with his own two hands. Possibly...possibly even a foundation that no one else could touch.
* * *
Natalie was nothing but a bundle of nerves. Her mother sat stoically next to her in the hospital waiting room, and her grandmother was saying fervent prayers over her rosary.
The relationship between all three of them had been strained for so long, Natalie didn’t know how to breach it now. For eight years she’d been certain her mother and grandmother’s irritation and frustration with her obsession with Gabby’s case had been a weakness.
It had been a betrayal. How dare they give up on Gabby?
But now...she realized they had all dealt with tragedy in the ways they could. They were all strong, independent women who had endured too much loss and hurt, and had dealt with it in the differing ways that suited them.
A nurse came through the door first, holding it open for a woman. Though she was nearly unrecognizable from the young woman Natalie remembered, it was too easy to see Dad’s nose and Mom’s pointed chin, and Natalie’s own big eyes staring right back at her.
Natalie didn’t remember getting to her feet, and she barely registered Grandma’s loud weeping. Everything was centered in on...something indescribable. This woman who was her sister, and yet...not.
Her skin prickled with goose bumps, and she could scarcely catch a breath. Was she moving? She wasn’t sure, but somehow she was suddenly in the middle of the room with...her sister.
Taller, older, different. And yet hers. She was flesh and blood and here. Natalie reached out, but she wasn’t sure where to touch, or how.
“Nattie.”
Even Gabby’s voice was different, the light in her eyes, the way her mouth moved. Natalie was rendered immobile by all of it, crushed under the reality of eight years lost. Of the grief that swelled through her over losing the sister she’d known, that nickname, and all it would take to...
Her outstretched hand finally found purchase...because Gabby had grabbed it. Squeezed it in her own. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t the same person she’d been all those years ago, because Natalie wasn’t the same person, either.
But they were still sisters. Blood. Connected.
“Say something,” Gabby whispered, barely audible over the way Mom and Grandma were openly sobbing.
“I don’t know...” What to say. What to do. Even as she’d thought about this moment for years, actually being here... “I’m so sorr—”
But Gabby shook her head and cupped Natalie’s face with her hands. “No, none of that.”
Which broke Natalie’s thin grip on composure, and soon she was sobbing as well, but also holding on to Gabby, tight, desperate. Gabby held back, and though she didn’t make a sound, Natalie could feel tears that weren’t her own soak her shoulder.
“Mama, Abuela,” Gabby’s raspy voice ordered. “Come here.”
Then all four of them were standing in the middle of a hospital waiting room, holding on too tightly, struggling to breathe through tears and hugs.
Gabby shook, something echoing all the way through her body so violently, Natalie could feel it herself.
“Are you all right? Do you need a doctor? I’ll go get the nu—”
But Gabby held her close. “I’m all right, baby sister. I just can’t believe it’s real. You’re all here.”
“They...told you about... Daddy?”
Gabby swallowed, her chin coming up, everything about her hardening all over again. “The Stallion made sure I knew.”
“But...”
Gabby shook her head. “No. Not today. Maybe not ever.”
Natalie had to swallow down the questions, the need to pressure. The need to understand. She could want all she wanted, but Gabby would have to make the choices of what she told them herself. That was her right as survivor.
“One of us needs to get it together so we can drive home,” their mother said, her hand shaking as she mopped up tears. Her other hand was a death grip around Gabby’s elbow.
“I’m all right,” Natalie assured them. “I’ll drive.
Right now. We’re free to go. We’re... Let’s get out of here. And go home.”
“Home,” Gabby echoed, and Natalie couldn’t begin to imagine what those words elicited for her sister. She couldn’t begin to imagine...
Well, there’d be therapy for all of them, there’d be healing. One step at a time. The first step was getting out of this hospital.
But as they turned to leave the waiting room, someone entered, blocking the way.
It took Natalie a moment to place him, because the last time she’d seen Agent Alessandro he’d had much longer hair, a beard. He’d looked as menacing as The Stallion, if not more so.
He’d had a haircut and a shave and today looked every inch the FBI agent in his suit and sunglasses.
Gabby stopped and everything about her stiffened. “Agent Alessandro,” Gabby greeted him coolly, and despite the tear tracks on her cheeks, she was shoulders-back strong, and Natalie couldn’t begin to imagine what Gabby had endured to come out of this so...self-possessed, so strong.
“Ms. Torres.” There was an odd twist to the FBI agent’s mouth, but his gaze moved from Gabby to her. “Ms.... Well, Natalie, I’ve got a message for you.”
Gabby’s grip tightened on her arm, but when she glanced at her sister, all Natalie saw was a blank stoicism.
“It’s from the Texas Rangers Office.”
It was Natalie’s turn to grip, to stiffen. Because she heard “Texas Rangers” and she thought of Vaughn, she wanted to cry all over again for different reasons.
Anger. Regret. Loss. Confusion.
Mostly anger. She didn’t have time for anger, all she had the time and energy for was Gabby.
Agent Alessandro held out a piece of paper and Natalie frowned at it. “They couldn’t have called me? Sent an email?” she muttered, and though it was more rhetorical than an actual question, she glanced up at the agent.
His gaze was on Gabby again, and she was looking firmly away. They’d obviously had some interaction when Alessandro had been undercover, and Natalie could only assume it hadn’t been a positive interaction.
She glanced at the piece of paper, a handwritten note of all things. She opened it and scowled at the scrawl.
Once you’ve settled in with your sister, there are a few pressing questions I’ll need to ask you in person for full closure in the case.
Vaughn
Everything about it made her violently angry. That he’d written a note. That he couldn’t have called and been a man about it. That he’d dared sign his name Vaughn instead of Ranger Cooper when that was clearly all he wanted to be.
She didn’t want to get settled with her sister first. She wanted all of this to be over. Now.
“Agent Alessandro, would you be able to escort Gabby and my family home while I see to this?”
His eyebrows raised. “I’d love to be of service, but I doubt your sister...”
“Oh, no, please escort us, Mr. Alessandro. I don’t have a problem with it in the least,” Gabby replied, linking arms with Mama and Grandma. There was a battle light in Gabby’s eyes that Natalie didn’t recognize at all.
She almost stepped in, ready to put her own battle on the back burner. But Gabby’s intense gaze turned to her. “Tie up loose ends, sissy. I want this over, once and for all.”
“It will be,” Natalie promised. It damn well would be.
Chapter 17
Vaughn paced. He hadn’t expected Natalie to come right away. He figured she’d want time with Gabby, and it would give him time to set up everything. But Jaime’s clipped message had said that she was on her way. And it would probably be quick, despite the fact the hospital was on the other side of Austin.
“Can’t lie that I don’t mind seeing you like this,” Bennet said companionably as Vaughn stalked his office.
“Thanks for your support,” Vaughn muttered trying to figure out what the hell was trying to claw out of his chest. He’d expected time...possibly to talk himself out of the whole thing.
“You have all my support. In fact, I’m going to be the nice guy here and tell you that a simple apology probably won’t cut it.”
“You don’t even know what the hell is going on.” But apparently he was transparent because everyone seemed to know.
“You’re right, I don’t. But I know you’re all tied up in knots, and I’d put money on the hot little hypnotist—”
At Vaughn’s death glare, Bennet didn’t even have the decency to shut up. The jackass laughed.
“Yeah, you’re hooked.”
“Define hooked,” Vaughn growled.
“Going feral any time anyone even begins to mention her was the first hint.”
Vaughn wanted to argue with him just for the sake of arguing with him, but Natalie was on her way over here, and he didn’t have time. “So maybe something happened,” he admitted through gritted teeth.
“And you screwed it up, of course. I’m not one to tell you what to do, Vaughn,” Bennet began, all ease and comfortable cheerfulness.
When Vaughn snarled, Bennet laughed.
“Okay, maybe I don’t mind telling you what to do all that much, but point of fact is, if you’re trying to woo a woman, especially this particular woman, you’re going to have to do something that I’m not sure you have in your arsenal.”
“What’s that?”
“Anything remotely romantic that includes putting your heart on the line. I think you’re incapable of that.”
“I’m not...incapable,” Vaughn grumbled, but he was a little afraid that he was. Afraid that no matter what he decided about trying to start something with Natalie, something real, something that might turn into something long-term—a chance. All he wanted was a damn chance.
But Bennet was still yammering on. “Since you don’t have flowers, I’d figure out a romantic gesture or two.”
Vaughn might have physically recoiled at the phrase romantic gesture.
“Probably something she’d never expect you to do, but you do because you want her.”
Damn it. He hated that Bennet was right. Because he’d screwed this up, worse than he’d screwed up his marriage. Because the past few days of treating Natalie like a stranger at best... He’d known it was wrong. He’d felt it, in his bones, and the only thing he’d had to do to fix it was speak. Reach out. Put a little bit of pride on the line.
But he hadn’t. So now that he was doing it, now that he was done being a little wimp, he had to not just put it all on the line, but offer it up wrapped in a damn bow.
“I need an interrogation room, and no interruptions. Can you make that happen?”
Bennet grinned, but he didn’t give Vaughn any more crap. “On it. Good luck, buddy.”
Yeah, luck. Strange all Vaughn could feel was an impending sense of dread.
But no matter how much dread he felt, no matter how little he knew about putting his pride or his shoddy heart on the line, he knew that the minute he saw her, that’s exactly what he had to do.
* * *
Natalie burst into the Texas Rangers offices, and after jumping through all the hoops she had to jump through to get to the floor with Vaughn’s office, Ranger Stevens was there to greet her. “Ms. Torres. It’s good to see you under better circumstances.”
“Are they better circumstances?” Which was flippant, because of course they were better. Her house hadn’t burned down today, and she’d been reunited with her sister.
But she was angry, and she wanted to fling her anger at everyone who got in her way. Every second she was away from Gabby, she was going to be angry.
“Follow me,” Ranger Stevens offered, sounding far too amused.
She followed him, pausing at the door to an interrogation room. It was the interrogation room where she’d all but signed Herman’s death warrant. Where she’d set everything into motion, because she hadn’t been able to keep he
r mouth shut.
She wasn’t foolish enough to think that had put everything into motion. Obviously the FBI had had its own thing going on. It was happenstance she had gotten mixed up in it.
It was all too much, and Vaughn—the man who’d been silent for days—had the gall to send her a note—a note!—to answer more questions.
She ignored the part where she’d been silent too. Because she was afraid if she let go of any of her rage, she’d simply fall apart.
“He’s waiting.”
She scowled at Stevens, but then she entered the room on that last wave of fury.
Vaughn stood with his back to her, his palms pressed to the interrogation table. It hurt to look at him. To look at him and not touch him. It seemed that seeing Gabby this morning had broken that dam of feeling that she’d been hiding behind since she’d shot the man who’d kidnapped Gabby.
She’d been numb for days, but now, all she could do was feel. All she could seem to do was hurt. She was afraid she was going to cry, but she swallowed it down as best she could.
“You summoned.”
Vaughn turned, and she wasn’t prepared for those gray-blue eyes, the way the sight of his body and mouth trying to curve in a smile slammed through her.
She wanted to hug him and to cry into his shoulder. She wanted him.
But despite that a world of emotion seemed to glitter blue in those smoky eyes, he merely gestured to a seat at the table. “Have a seat, Ms. Torres.”
“I think you’re damn lucky I’ve taken a vow of antiviolence, because I’d as soon shove that seat up your seat as sit in it.”
She had clearly caught him off guard with that, and she felt a surge of victory with all that anger. Let him take a step back. She wanted him to react.
“Natalie, just sit down and—”
“Go to hell.” Which was probably cruel, but she wanted to be cruel, because maybe if she was, this could be over, and she could move on. She whirled toward the door.
“I was going to let you hypnotize me.”