“I had no idea you had become such a strong advocate for Will and me being a couple. When did you decide to champion our cause?”
“As soon as I met you and saw the way my brother treated you. There is nothing I want more in the world than to see my brother happy. He is a responsible man who became master of Pemberley at a young age and has had a difficult time, partly because of me. He is so good, he deserves to be happy, and I think you would make him happy.”
“You are a wonderful sister to him, Georgie. He is lucky to have you. However, I believe you are wrong. I think his duty is more important to him than I am, and he will do what he thinks he must. Therefore, I think I must do what I can to keep the relationship between us impersonal.”
They practiced several songs for over an hour and then adjourned to the library, where Georgiana intended to show Elizabeth how it was organized. They were surprised when they entered the library to see Darcy there, in the sitting area near the fireplace, reading a book. He looked up as they entered, immediately stood, and greeted them.
“What are you doing here, Will?” asked Georgiana, as she invited Elizabeth to sit on the other end of the on which Darcy had been sitting, while she sat on a chair across from them. “I thought you would be fishing with the other men until noon.”
Once they were seated, he returned to his seat on the couch. “You know I do not particularly enjoy fishing, Georgie. Stewart pointed out to me that there were other things I would, and probably should, be doing, rather than taking part in an activity I did not enjoy. Therefore, here I am, reading a new book I received on modern farming practices. On the couch, you see a stack of letters I was able to read and determine what needed to be done with them. Thus, I have had a rather productive morning – far more productive than had I been fishing.”
“I thought the idea of fishing was to give you a chance to relax, enjoy your friends, and forget about your responsibilities,” said Elizabeth, with a smile. “Is it not said that ‘all work and no play make Jack a dull boy’?”
Returning her smile, he once again thought how beautiful she was when she smiled. Would he not love to spend time every day sitting on a couch with her like this, speaking with her? “I thought of that, but since my name is not Jack, I decided it did not apply to me. Besides, who says I do not enjoy reading my correspondence and a book about modern farming practices?”
“Then you are certainly different than my father. He hates dealing with correspondence, so in the last few years he has had me take care of it. In fact, I am also the one that reads about new farming practices. Is the book you are reading written by Fulsome and Wright?”
Darcy looked surprised. “It is, indeed. Have you read it?”
“Most of it. I have been urging my father to institute more modern practices not only on the land our farm hands work, but also to teach them to our tenants. It has been somewhat of an uphill battle, and I found the book by Fulsome and Wright gives a good basis for my arguments with him. We intend to institute their suggestions on drainage and plowing with the contour of the land on our own land next year. I had not realized until I read that book that the idea of contour plowing was first originated by the Phoenicians, but that the Romans had preferred straight line tilling and all of Europe just kept with that practice after the fall of the Roman Empire. It will be interesting to see if many in England adopt the suggestions in the book. My uncle says the book is not selling well.”
“You did not tell me you helped your father run Longbourn.”
“Someone has to. He never really wanted to be a gentleman farmer. He wanted to be a professor at Cambridge, but when his older brother died, he had no choice. My grandfather and uncle managed to realize almost twice as much return from the land than was being realized two years ago. At that time, our steward quit in disgust and the new steward, Mr. Randall, decided he would get more done if he enlisted my help. We have been able to improve things a bit. Mr. Randall thinks we can make the estate earn what it once did if better planning is done. I have shamed father into starting to take an interest, so hopefully, by the time I leave, things will be better than they were.”
“And when do you intend to leave?”
“I hope that someday I will be married. My prospects are few now, but I am intending to take part in the Season next year. My aunt claims to have some acquaintances in the nobility that may be willing to sponsor me. She is starting a home for homeless women and has been able to interest some of the nobility in supporting the charity. I will be going to London in February to help her set it up and meet some of the Ladies who are providing her funds. She hopes that one of them may be willing to sponsor me, although there is certainly no guarantee. However, I cannot see that it will really do any good, because, even if I am sponsored, I have no dowry to speak of, no social status, and no impressive lineage.”
Suddenly Elizabeth realized she had been so focused on Darcy, she had not heard from Georgiana. She looked at the chair in which she had seated herself, and looking around, saw her nowhere. “Will, do you know what happened to Georgie? I am afraid we were so engrossed in our conversation, she became bored and departed.”
Darcy smiled at her use of Georgiana’s name for him. “No, I did not see her leave, but it does not surprise me that she did. I am sure she was looking for an excuse to leave us alone.”
Elizabeth looked at him with concern. “Based on that statement, I assume she told you about her desire that we become a couple.”
“She has.”
“Have you explained to her why we cannot? I tried this morning, but she seemed to think that if two people love each other, any obstacle to their marriage can be surmounted. I tried to explain why you could not possibly consider me a suitable wife, but she is very persistent. May I assume you have had much the same discussion with her?”
“I have.”
She looked at him, expecting him to say more. When he did not, somewhat chagrined, she said. “Is that all you are going to say. Clearly it has not deterred her, because she talked with me about it this morning. I think you should nip her expectations in the bud, before she gets too attached to them and suffers a major disappointment later.”
“And how do you propose that I do that?”
“Explain to her what the reactions of your relatives and acquaintance in the ton would be if you should marry me.”
“And what might those reactions be?”
Elizabeth looked at him a moment and then stood, intending to leave. “This is ridiculous. I believe you are trying to raise my ire. I am going to leave without answering that question. You know far better than me what they will be and how a marriage between us would damage the Darcy name.”
He loved the way she looked when she was upset at him. She was indeed a woman in a million. Now that he knew her even better, how could he let go of her? Yet how could he not let go of her? As she started to turn, he said, “Tell me, Elizabeth, suppose I was to ask you for a courtship, what would you say?”
She turned back to him, her face now expressing her shock. Could he be implying he might ask her for a courtship? She looked at him thoughtfully. No, this was a hypothetical question designed to unnerve her. “I would probably turn you down, knowing that in the end, you could not possibly propose to me. I know that once your relatives and friends got wind of it, they would descend on you en masse to dissuade you from your foolish action. “
He chuckled. “You are probably correct. Would that bother you?”
“You are assuming I would want you to court me. Has it crossed you mind I might not? After all, only a few days ago, I thought I disliked you.”
He nodded his head, acknowledging the truth of what she said. “I noticed you said you would probably turn me down. Is there any circumstance in which you would not turn me down?”
“Mr. Darcy, I believe we are going beyond the bounds of a conversation two single persons being inappropriately alone should have. I will not answer that question either. I believe I should probably lea
ve and find Georgie.” However, she made no move to leave, hoping he would stop her, because she wondered where the conversation might go from there. When he said nothing, she reluctantly turned and started for the door.
“Miss Elizabeth, I believe this conversation has yet to reach a satisfactory conclusion. Would you stay a little longer?”
“I am not sure there is any satisfactory conclusion to this conversation, Mr. Darcy.”
“Perhaps I can make it more interesting for you by telling you that you are the only woman I have ever met whom I have considered I might want to marry.”
Elizabeth could not believe he said that. They had just discussed why he could not marry her and then he tells he that he would like to. “Mr. Darcy, if that declaration was meant to shock me, it succeeded.”
“It was not. It was an honest statement of my thoughts, but I know, as you say, there would be fierce opposition from many of my relatives and acquaintances. Dr. Stewart convinced me this morning that I should not care, because he believes that in the long run, once they came to know you, they would accept you. You are the only woman for whom I have ever developed deep feelings – feelings which did not disappear during the many months I did not see you. Thus, I must believe it means I have fallen in love with you. Now I would like to ascertain if you believe you could ever find it in your heart to love me. A satisfactory conclusion to this discussion would be your opinion as to whether you could ever love me and if you think you could, what I need to do to secure your love.”
Elizabeth sat down and stared at Darcy for a long time. She recognized he was serious. He said that he loved her, and she did not know how to respond. Could she love him? Of course, she could. Did she already? That was the difficult question she could not answer. The thoughts were whirling around in her mind. Could she truly go from disliking him to loving him in three days? Or had she wanted to love him all along but knew she could not. Thus, she did everything she could to try to dislike him. She knew she had never known anyone like him and that he was probably just the kind of man she needed. But a marriage between them would not likely work.
“Mr. Darcy, this is insane. You would need to give up all your values for me. The Darcy name would be spoken of with derision. I have no doubt your family would refuse to accept me. Furthermore, Georgie’s chances of finding a good match would be affected.”
“You may be correct, although I believe the effect would not be as long or as bad as you seem to believe. As I said, once my family and acquaintances and the ton in general come to know you, I believe they would understand why I married you, and the Darcy name would recover from any loss of luster. Stewart told me to look at the long-term consequences, not the short-term, and when I did, I became convinced all will eventually be everything we could wish.”
Elizabeth put her hands to her cheeks, closed her eyes, and shook her head. How could this be happening? Such things just did not happen to her. Could she truly believe he loved her and wanted to marry her? Did she love him? It was too soon, but she knew she was falling in love with him. Finally, she stood, walked over to him, and reached out her hands to him. He took her hands and stood, holding her hand, wanting very much to pull her into his arms.
“Mr. Darcy, if I were a member of the stratum to which you belong, I would probably marry you without a question, because I believe I could easily fall in love with you. I know no finer man. But I cannot even think about it. I have lived in a home where the woman was not an acceptable mate for the man, but because they were deeply in love, they married anyway. Over the years, their differences became more and more of an issue and for the last many years, it has been a marriage in name only. I believe I am as unacceptable for you as my mother was for my father. I am looking at the long-term, Mr. Darcy, and, from my perspective, it looks very different to me. You may believe you love me deeply now, but over time, as my unacceptability will become more evident, I believe your opinion of me will change. I could not live with that. I cannot let myself fall in love with you in the way I think I might if I were to let you court me. Therefore, I am going to leave now, go to my room, sit far away from you at lunch, and leave with my aunt and uncle this afternoon and not see you again until next year. It may hurt both of us at first, but in the long run, I think it is what must be done, and I think you will eventually believe I am correct.”
As she started to turn to leave and tried to take her hands from his, he would not let go. “You cannot believe that a love I have held for you over 10 months during which I did not see you will somehow magically disappear in the next few months, just because of what you have said here?”
“Yes, I can, Mr. Darcy. I believe the Elizabeth you love is an idealized version of me. You do not know me as well as you think you do. On our walk, you learned how I allowed my vanity to color my opinion of you. I believe my impertinence and nonconformity, which you may find charming at this point, over the long run would be characteristics you did not like in a wife. So please, Mr. Darcy, let me go. This was very hard for me. But it has to be.”
He moved in front of her again. He tried to look deeply into her eyes, but after a moment she looked down, refusing to look at him. “Elizabeth, the more we are together, the more convinced I become that I love you and that I will always love you. You must give us a chance.”
He could tell she was starting to weep. “Elizabeth, please. Do not do this to us.”
Suddenly she jerked her hands free and turned and ran out of the room, tears streaming from her eyes, because she knew she had begun to fall in love with him, but also knew it was very likely that theirs would be a marriage destined for heartbreak. As she opened the door to the library and rushed out into the hallway, she ran by Georgiana without even acknowledging she was there and soon was racing up the stairs to her bedroom.
Georgiana did not know whether to go to Elizabeth or Darcy, but finally decided to go into the library and speak to her brother.
Chapter 6: Darcy Declares
When Georgiana entered the library, she saw her brother leaning against the back of the couch, his head down, looking as sad as she had ever seen him. “Will, what happened? I just saw Elizabeth run by me in the hall, crying. I do not think she even saw me.”
Darcy straightened up and looked at her. “I acted stupidly, Georgie. I pushed too hard. I told her I wanted to marry her, and she said she could not ‒ that she was too far below me in wealth and status and that she had characteristics which I now found charming, but in the long run would find distasteful in a wife. She believes ours would be a marriage bound to fail.”
“If she refused you, why was she crying so hard?”
“I hope it is because she beginning to have strong feeling for me and is torn between what she might want to do and what she thinks is prudent. She has been living in a house with an unhappy marriage, where there is great disparity in the backgrounds of the husband and wife. Unfortunately, she believes our disparity is just as great, and it is likely that a marriage between us would end up the same way”
“What is the great disparity between her father and mother?”
“He is a gentleman from a family that was reasonably well-off, whereas she was the daughter of a merchant and was never trained in the way of a gentlewoman. Her father and mother apparently were deeply in love when they were married, but their marriage is now not a good one, and she believes it is primarily because of the disparity of their backgrounds. She believes that as our marriage matures, I will discover how much is lacking in her because she is not a woman of high degree and our marriage will become like her parents.”
“What does a woman of high degree know that she does not? I suppose I should be called a woman of high degree, and I certainly do not believe I know as much as she does.”
“You are an unusual case, Georgie. You did not have a father and mother active in high society to raise you. There is much you have not learned about society that young ladies who have been brought up primarily in London society know about that society
and the way it operates. However, because you are a high-born lady, your ignorance with be forgiven and people will go out of their way to accommodate you. Her lack of knowledge, should she exhibit any, would be ridiculed.”
“Are you beginning to agree with her?”
“No, just pointing out that she has a right to have concerns about her background and character. Also, you have not met her parents and younger sisters. They would be completely unacceptable to those in high society. It makes no difference to me, because, as you know, I could live at Pemberley year-round and be happy. My main worry is making sure your future is assured. If Elizabeth and I married and she was not accepted, you might need to live with Uncle Robert and Aunt Helen and be introduced into society by them.”
They sat there, saying nothing for a few minutes, each thinking their own thoughts. Finally, Georgiana said, “What are we going to do, Will? I do not want to lose Lizzy, and I know you feel the same way.”
“I do not know, Georgie. However, the first thing I am going to do is talk to the Gardiners and ask what they can suggest. I do not know if they share her worry, but I doubt they do. I have rarely met a couple in whose judgment I have more confidence, even if they are of the merchant class.”
Sometime later, the men returned from their fishing enterprise in high spirits because of the success they had. They caught several fish, enough to provide a good lunch. Mrs. Gardiner saw the men return and left her examination of the Pemberley gardens to join them. They all immediately went to their rooms to change for lunch and then returned to the family sitting room to discuss their morning activities until lunch was served. Elizabeth’s absence was noted, but no one thought it odd, because they assumed she was in the library, reading or studying. However, when lunch was served, and Elizabeth had still not joined them, Mrs. Gardiner said, “Someone should go to the library and retrieve Elizabeth.”
“She is not there,” said Georgiana. “She is in her room. I do not know if she will join us or not.”
The Lady of the Mount and Patience Rewarded: Two Stories of Darcy and Elizabeth Page 23