The door swung open, and the scent of body odor wafted out the door. The bearded man looked like he belonged on Duck Dynasty with his thick, unkempt beard and beer gut that threatened to rip his dark T-shirt at the seams. The guy narrowed his beady green eyes and looked Hugh up and down. “Wadda you want?” He stood a solid eight inches shorter than Hugh with soft, doughy arms and an unwashed face.
Arms crossed, Hugh flexed his biceps. “Saw you eyeing my girlfriend.”
His eyes shifted to the left, then back to Hugh. “And?”
Hugh lowered his chin, set his jaw, and pinned the man with a rottweiler’s death stare. “And there’s nothing but trouble waiting for you there.”
The man swished his jaw from side to side, his long, straggly beard moving along with it. He pushed the door closed.
Hugh reached out with his left hand and stopped the door, then closed the gap between them. He looked down at the man and gritted his teeth. “Make no mistake about what I’m saying. If she or her daughter so much as feel uncomfortable coming home at night, I won’t ask questions.” His chest expanded with each breath. He felt his nostrils flare as he tried to rein in the urge to grab the man by the throat and throw him up against the wall. “We straight?”
The man swished his jaw again.
Hugh stepped closer, hunkering over him and narrowing his eyes. “Got it?”
“Yeah, man. I got it.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“MOMMY, LET’S SWING!” Layla ran toward the playground in her striped leggings and sweatshirt. Her pigtails bobbed with each step.
Brianna pushed her on the swing, thinking about last night. The park felt like an entirely different place. Last night it was an enchanting wonderland for just the two of them, which incited heightened emotions and well-hidden memories. Today it was anyone’s park, as if the carousel and the lights had never existed.
Her phone vibrated with a text from Hugh. How’s Layla? Having fun?
She smiled as she responded. Great. At the park. Miss you. Her finger hovered over the send button. She quickly deleted Miss you, then pushed send.
When he responded, her pulse sped up. Wish I was there with u.
She responded, Wish u were 2. Miss you.
Hugh texted back a minute later. Gotta drive. Pit crew’s waiting. Xox.
She closed her eyes and thought, Hugs and kisses. God, I miss your hugs and kisses. She texted back, Xox, then put the phone in her pocket and returned her attention to her daughter, who was chatting about all things prince and princess.
“Grandma says we can make puppets and put on our own play with them,” Layla yelled from the swing as she pumped her legs. Her white sneakers were covered with blue sequins that swirled and sparkled in the sun.
“That sounds like fun. I’d like to do that, too.” Brianna had always enjoyed playing with Layla, and guilt tightened in her chest as a thought whispered through her mind. I miss Hugh. Dividing her attention was so unfamiliar that Brianna felt a twinge of guilt.
“I want to make a princess, a queen, and a prince.”
“We can paint a castle for the background.” Brianna smiled at the innocence of Layla’s comment, and how the image she conjured up to meet her daughter’s puppets was of her, Layla, and Hugh. Her cell phone vibrated, and she read the text from Kat.
Epic morning? She and Kat usually referred to Kat’s sex life as epic or amazing. That she was about to text about her and Hugh sent a thrill of excitement through her.
Beyond. At park with Layla. Will fill u in 2nite.
The phone vibrated again with a response. Yay! C U at 3.
“Can we make the castle now, so we can surprise Grandma with it?” Layla asked.
“We sure can.”
BACK AT THE apartment, Brianna carried Layla’s overnight bag and held her hand. The bearded man was on the balcony when they arrived, and Brianna put her arm protectively over Layla’s shoulder and trained her eyes on the sidewalk. She caught movement in her peripheral vision and lifted her gaze, catching sight of the man as he disappeared through the glass slider. Brianna breathed a sigh of relief.
She unlocked the door and Layla ran inside.
“Mommy! Someone brought flowers! And look, a present!” She grabbed the glittery box from the counter.
Darn it. She’d forgotten to hide the gift. “That was for you, actually. From a friend of mine.”
Layla gasped. “For me? Can I open it?” She sat cross-legged on the floor and tore open the package.
Brianna’s stomach twisted, easing only after she noticed that the present had sidetracked Layla from asking who had brought her flowers. She watched her lift the top of the box and set it on the floor, then leaf through a mound of tissue paper.
“Mommy, look!” Her eyes bloomed wide as she pulled out a pink dress—not the dress Hugh had shown Brianna earlier in the day, but a fancier one with white lace along the bottom edge, a white collar, and tiny polka dots that spread from the bottom and faded as they reached the waist.
“That looks like a birthday dress to me,” Brianna said. Her heart beat so fast she put her hand on her chest. The box was much too big to hold only a dress. She watched Layla dig through the remaining tissue paper and pull out another box. She ripped off the wrapping paper and jumped up and down with the box in her arms.
“Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Look!” Layla held up the box to show her.
“Drama Queen? What’s that?”
“It’s a game where you make your own stories! It’s like a play only not in real life, and you get to make lots of stories not just one. Miranda has it!”
How did Hugh know about this game, and how come I didn’t have a clue about it?
“Did you want that game?” She took the box from Layla and opened it. Then they sat at the coffee table in the living room and set up the game beside Candyland, the drawing and making of a castle forgotten.
Brianna spread the pieces of the game across the board and was surprised when Layla didn’t reach for a single one.
“Layla, did you want this game?” she asked again.
Layla nodded. “Mommy, did Kat give me this?”
Brianna didn’t have an answer ready. “Um, no.”
“Was it really you? Did you get me this? Because if you did, you can take it back. I don’t need it.” Layla’s eyes were so serious it brought Brianna to her side.
“Layla, why would I bring this back?”
“Because Miranda said it costs a million dollars, and we don’t have a million dollars.”
Brianna kissed her forehead, hating that Layla was aware of their financial situation at all, much less that she probably hadn’t told her mother she wanted the game because it was expensive.
“I think Miranda was exaggerating.” But I’ll Google it and find out. “A different friend gave these things to you. He wanted you to have it. Otherwise he wouldn’t have bought it for you.” Part of her worried about Layla receiving an expensive gift. She didn’t want to set up unrealistic expectations, and she definitely didn’t want her daughter bragging to other kids and making them feel bad. As much as she hated adding a lesson to a happy moment, the mother in her wouldn’t let the opportunity pass. She placed the game pieces on the board. “If I were you, I’d be careful how you tell your friends about this.”
“Why?” Layla picked up the figurines and inspected their dresses and tiaras.
“Because maybe their parents can’t afford this game, and you don’t want your friends to feel bad because they don’t have one.” She watched Layla knit her eyebrows together. “How did you feel when Miranda told you she had it and that it cost a million dollars?”
Layla set the figurines down and shrugged.
“Well, you didn’t ask me for the game, so I’m guessing you didn’t feel happy, but maybe a little sad?” She lifted Layla’s chin as Hugh had done so often to her, and the sadness in her daughter’s eyes slayed her. She wanted to pull her close and tell her how sorry she was that she couldn’t afford e
xtravagant gifts and how much she loved her, but instead she used those feelings to teach Layla about kindness. “You wouldn’t want your friends to feel that way, would you?”
Layla shook her head.
“I know you'll want to tell them about your new game, and that’s okay, but maybe instead of saying, Guess what I got, the second you see them at school, you could tell them that you can’t wait to share your new game with them on your birthday.”
Layla’s eyes lit up. “That’s nicer, and they’ll want to play it, too. I know they will. Miranda said we couldn’t play it because she didn’t want to lose any pieces, but I’m a good sharer. I don’t mind.”
Pride swelled in Brianna’s chest. “The best sharer ever.” She wondered if Layla would ever be okay sharing her with Hugh.
Chapter Twenty-Three
BY SIX THIRTY the dinner crowd had filtered from the tavern into the restaurant, leaving just a few customers in the bar. Brianna was glad for the break. She’d been watching the couple in the corner booth sucking face for most of her shift. They kissed every minute, and that only made her miss Hugh even more.
She wiped down a booth, picked up a tip from another table, and went behind the bar to catch up with Kat, still drawn to the kissing couple. She was mesmerized at how they kissed and pawed at each other. She knew Hugh was being careful with her, but she wanted more. She looked at the couple again. I want that.
“What’s the plan with lover boy?” Kat lifted her eyebrows in quick succession. She wore her blond hair in a high ponytail and her tightest Old Town Tavern V-neck T-shirt.
“We don’t have a plan.”
“Oh no, and what does that do to your overscheduled little brain?”
“This is why I hate you. Do you really have to point out the obvious?”
Kat shrugged.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Go for it,” Kat said, eyeing the couple who were now practically having sex in the booth.
“Can a guy respect you too much?”
“Oh God. What happened?” Kat set down the glass she’d been holding and folded her arms across her chest.
“Nothing. Hugh’s just careful. He asks permission sometimes, and I know it’s because I’m a mom and he respects me and all that, but I kinda want…” She looked at the couple in the corner again.
Kat smacked her chewing gum and followed her gaze. “Ah. So, tell him. Or show him. I vote for showing him.”
Brianna purposefully stopped looking at the couple. “How do I do that without looking like a slut?”
“You’ve already slept with him. There’s nothing left to look like. Just, you know.” She moved in close and whispered, “Take him.”
“Take him?” She narrowed her eyes. “Oh, take him. Right. I’ve already told him he didn’t have to be so careful, but…”
Kat winked. “You go, girlfriend. But how are you holding up without a plan? You’re not like that. Overplanning is how you manage.”
“I’m trying to not be that person.”
Kat put her cheek next to Brianna’s and whispered, “I’ve got news for you, hon. You are that person.” She patted Brianna’s cheek. “That’s why you’re so great at being a mom. You think ahead in ways I never could.”
Brianna sighed. “You know, while I was at the park with Brianna, I thought about Hugh the whole time.”
“Yeah, and?” Kat blew a bubble with her chewing gum.
“And...I’ve never done that before, thought about being with a man when I’m supposed to be thinking about my daughter. I don’t want to be one of those women whose mind is somewhere else when her child needs her.” Brianna wiped her hands on the towel that hung from her belt. “It felt weird.”
Kat shook her head. “You really have lived in a boxed-off mommy world for too long. Every parent thinks of other things or people when they’re with their kids. That’s normal, Bree. Just ask Mack. He’ll tell you.”
Mack walked behind Brianna to the far end of the bar. “Ask Mack what?”
“Mack, when you’re with your daughter, what do you think about?” Kat crossed her arms and smacked her gum.
Mack had a daughter two years older than Layla, and he and his wife, Tami, had been married for ten years. “I don’t know. Sports. The bar. My wife. Why?” He grabbed a large bottle of liquor and walked past them again toward the back room, stopping beside Brianna. “Something going on that I should know about?”
Brianna rolled her eyes. “No.”
“She’s thinking of a guy when she’s with Layla,” Kat said.
“Kat! Jesus, can’t I have any privacy?” Brianna covered her face so Mack wouldn’t see her cheeks flush again.
“What guy?” Mack asked.
“The guy from the other night,” Kat explained. “Patrick Dempsey’s look-alike.”
“Oh my God, Kat. Really?” Brianna pushed past Mack and went into the stockroom. A second later, the door opened and Mack walked in.
“You okay?” He leaned against a metal shelf and crossed his arms.
“Yeah. Fine.” She grabbed two bottles and headed for the door.
Mack put his hand on her arm and lowered his chin. “Bree?”
She sighed. “Okay, fine.” She set down the drinks. Mack was the closest thing she had to a big brother, even though he acted more like a father, and she knew she could trust him. “I went out with Hugh, the guy from the other night, and I really like him. A lot.”
He crossed his arms and pressed his mouth into a tight line. “You know who he is?”
She nodded.
“I figured it out at about two in the morning after I met him. The name clicked.” His eyes searched hers. “Capital Series driver.”
“Yup.”
“Bree, that’s a fast crowd. You sure he treated you okay?” His eyes softened.
“Yeah, Mack.” She leaned on the shelf beside him. “Better than okay. He’s probably the nicest guy I’ve ever met.” She smiled up at him. “Besides you, I mean.”
He nodded unconvincingly.
“Mack, he’s careful with me, and protective, but not overly possessive, and he’s always concerned about Layla and not messing things up for us.”
“Just promise me you’ll be careful and be smart. I’d hate to have to kill him if he hurt you.”
Brianna leaned against his side. “Thanks, Mack. Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, you know that.”
“Am I weird?” She watched his eyes shine with laughter, then grow serious.
“What do you mean?”
“Kat thinks I’m weird because I'm used to giving Layla my full attention. I just don’t want to be one of those women who slights her kid, you know? But I also don’t want to be some kind of freak who isn’t relatable. I don’t want to turn around when she’s eighteen and have been so blocked off that even she thinks I’m weird.” She sighed. “I wish parenthood came with a handbook.”
Mack put his arm around her. “Don’t we all? You’re weird, Bree—that’s for sure—but not a bad weird. We’re all a little weird. I’ve watched you raise Layla since she was a baby, and you’re a little overly focused, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.” He started to reorganize the bottles on the shelves. “You spend all of your time with Layla or at work. All your brain thinks about is what you know, right? So since Layla was born, you’ve been thinking about work and Layla. You talk with Kat, or go shopping, or whatever, spend time with your mom, I guess. But that’s a really small piece of your life. Suddenly Braden shows up.” He winked at her.
She couldn’t help but smile.
“He comes into your life, but you’re so focused on this safe world you set up for yourself and Layla that you don’t really know how—or if you want to—venture outside of that world. So now you’ve got life over here.” He waved his left arm. “And over here.” He waved his right arm. “And in the center are you and Layla. You’re playing a game of tug-of-war. But, Bree, that game is all in your head, because every d
ay your daughter goes out into the world with her friends. She laughs; she plays; she does schoolwork. She’s growing up and learning, but you…” He frowned and narrowed his eyes. “You don’t give yourself a chance to expand your own life experiences.”
“So what are you saying? I should join more of life and forget about doing the right thing by my daughter?”
“No. Definitely not.” He took her hand and led her away from the shelf. “Bree, you’re twenty-eight. You’re still a kid yourself. You deserve to fall in love, have fun, learn, take pictures, for God’s sake. You used to do that all the time.”
“My camera broke.”
“You know what I mean. Being a good mother and being a woman don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Look at Tami. She’s a mom, but she’s also a woman, with me and in general. She gets her hair done, she goes out with friends, and she still comes home and loves us all up. And I think it makes her a better mother by doing those things.”
Brianna sighed. “So why do I feel so guilty?” She covered her face.
“Because you’ve been perfect—and weird—for a very long time. And because you care. Trust your instincts, Bree. If Braden isn’t the right guy for you, you’ll know it in your heart. If he is…” He shrugged. “You’ll know that, too. But you have to start by allowing yourself to be a woman. It’s okay to think about a guy you like while you’re with Layla. I’d worry you didn’t like him very much if you didn’t think about him. Especially this early on in a relationship.”
She sighed. “Thanks, Mack. Why is it that when you explain it to me, I get it, but when Kat says it, I feel like she’s just pushing me to go out and have fun?”
“Because I’m old and she’s young. And with age comes a false facade of being wise.”
Hearts at Play Page 15