by Lane Hart
But now, here I am on my own for the first time and I’m flunking. Badly.
It feels like I’m a failure at life.
“Aw, bad day?” my roommate and new best friend Gwen asks when I walk into our dorm room and fall face first on my twin bed.
“I’m so fucking done,” I mumble into the comforter.
“With boys or school?” she asks since those are the two banes of my existence. Since school started, I’ve slept with two different guys on campus who were hot and charming and never heard from again after we hooked up and had terrible sex. I now refer to them as smelly sex and allergic-reaction-to-lube sex. Sure, I’ve been called a slut since the ninth grade when I lost my virginity to Sean Jacobs, but I refuse to stop playing the field until I finally, finally score a touchdown. It’s not fair that men always come every time or that our society celebrates when they sleep around, but girls are disparaged for it. I hate the double standard and the disappointment and regret I feel after every guy I’ve been with, starting with Sean Jacobs.
Turning my face so I can see my roommate, I finally reply, “School.”
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. Everyone bombed their midterms…” By bombed she means she got Bs instead of perfection because she’s a genius.
“I have to drop three courses and a lab,” I finally admit to her with a cringe because it’s the first time I’ve told anyone how screwed I am.
“No!” she exclaims, blue eyes bulging in disbelief. “There’s still plenty of time to bounce back,” she says encouragingly, the former cheerleader in her sprouting forth. I think that’s why we’ve gotten along so well since day one. Gwen and I are both happy, outgoing girls who look for the best in every situation.
“No, there’s not enough time, according to Professor Waller. I’m done. What am I going to do?” I whine.
“Nothing you can do except…come clean with your folks and tell them you’ll kick ass next semester.”
“This weekend I have to go home and tell them I’m an idiot. Oh, and that I waited so long to admit I’m an idiot that they’re going to lose forty thousand dollars in tuition and fees. They’re gonna kill me, Gwen!”
“Nah, they won’t kill you. But they may be a little pissed that you didn’t withdraw sooner,” she says with a wink after inserting the obvious inuendo.
“Will you come home with me?” I ask her. “Be a witness so they can’t get away with my murder?”
“I will go home with you, and I’ll even tell your parents you’ve been studying your ass off.”
“Thanks. I owe you one,” I tell her with a small smile. “Guess I better start packing a bag.”
Chapter 4
Caroline
“Mom? Dad? Aric?” I call out when Gwen and I walk through the front door of the silent house. “Guess they’re out,” I tell her. I didn’t let them know I was coming home because I thought it would be best to surprise them. And while they are busy being so happy about having me home, I’ll tell them that I’m failing all but one of my classes.
“We can go on up to my room,” I say as we climb the stairs. And then come face to face with a tall, redhead coming out of my bedroom wearing tiny cut-off shorts and a tank top like it’s July in Texas when it’s actually October in North Carolina and only seventy degrees outside.
“Who the hell are you, and what were you doing in my room?” I ask the girl, who freezes and stares at me all wide-eyed in surprise.
“Caroline? Hey! We’ve never officially met, but I used to see you around Mercy before you graduated. I’m ah, Maddie.” She smiles and holds out her hand for me to shake.
“Okay, Maddie, you’ve got ten seconds to tell me who the hell you are before my friend here calls the cops,” I warn her.
She looks from me to Gwen and then back to me. “Oh. Your mom didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” I ask just as two more small heads belonging to kids, a girl and a boy, stick out of one of the guest bedrooms. “Who are you people?” I exclaim.
“Um, well, this is sort of awkward,” Maddie says as she runs her fingers through her pretty and disgustingly natural Julia Robert’s hair. “We live here now.”
“What?” I exclaim. Slipping past her, I walk into my bedroom that still looks the same other than a few piles of books and clothes strewn around that aren’t mine. So, good, my parents didn’t move out and not tell me. “This is my room! What are your things doing in it?” I turn around and snap at the girl who followed me inside.
“Your mom and dad went with Aric to his doctor’s appointment,” she says. “They should be home soon to explain everything. No one told me you were coming home this weekend, or I would’ve moved my stuff out.”
“Yeah, how about you do that right now while I call my parents?” I suggest.
“Ah, yeah. Sure,” she says. “I’ll just sleep down the hall with my brother and sister until you leave.”
I don’t tell her that I may not be leaving after the weekend. Instead, I just shake my head and walk back down the stairs with Gwen following me.
“So that was weird, right?” I ask her when we get to the kitchen.
“Yeah, it was,” she agrees.
“Help yourself to a drink or anything in the fridge. I’m gonna step outside to try and call my mother to get some answers,” I tell her.
The call goes to voicemail the first two times; and then on the third, my mom finally answers. “Hello?” she singsongs, all cheerful and shit.
“What’s going on?” I ask her.
“Hi, Caroline. Your dad and I are waiting for Aric’s doctor. Can I call you back later?”
“No, Mom, you can’t hang up, not until you tell me why there are three randos living in our house!”
“Oh. You’re home?” she asks. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home this weekend?”
“I-I didn’t know until the last minute. But that’s not important right now. Could you please explain the new tenants?”
“Well, ah, we’ve been meaning to tell you, but wanted to make sure it would work out first,” she says. “Your father and I decided to foster Maddie, Matt and Mandy.”
“Foster? What do you mean foster?”
“They’re friends of your brother’s and needed a guardian on short notice, so we stepped in to help out. It’s no big deal.”
“It sounds like a pretty big deal!” I huff. “Adopting three kids is something you should have told me about, especially since one of them is taking over my room. How long have they been staying here?”
“A few weeks.”
“A few weeks?” I repeat.
“Just three or four. Or maybe it’s been five or six now,” she rambles. “Anywho, I bet you’re going to love all three of them as much as we do! Oh! The doctor’s coming in. We’ll see you at home soon!” my mom says before she ends the call.
I stare down at the phone in disbelief, not yet ready to go back inside and get to know the strangers who now live with me. How could so much change around here in just a few short weeks while I was away?
“Caroline?” a masculine voice says from over on the far-right side of the yard. When I whip my head around to see who it is, I’m relieved to finally see a face I recognize.
“Royal?” I ask as one of my brother’s oldest friends comes closer with a grin, wearing…a dark blue police uniform, hat and all, which hides most of his auburn hair.
“We received a noise dispute. Half the neighborhood could hear you yelling,” he teases.
“Sorry. I just came home from school, planning to surprise my parents when I was the one who got a surprise.”
“You’ve met Maddie?”
“Right, Maddie,” I mutter. “You know her?”
“She goes to school with us. Watch your back with that one. Maddie’s a tough bitch that doesn’t take shit from anyone, but she’s also crazy smart, going to Mercy for two years now on a scholarship.”
“Ugh,” I groan to the sky. “I hate her already.”
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“Your brother’s a dick for letting her move in and not telling you,” he says.
“He really is,” I mutter. “So, what are you doing lurking around out here, impersonating an officer of the law?” I ask Royal when we’re standing only a few feet apart, close enough for me to see his whisky-colored eyes and brownish-red five o’clock shadow. Since when did my little brother’s friends start growing facial hair?
“It’s Halloween,” he says before he reaches up to adjust the police hat on his head. “I was just about to unload the party supplies at Blake’s,” he adds, jutting his thumb in the direction of the Sullivans’ house.
“Oh, right! Blake’s birthday and annual party,” I say when it hits me.
“Yep,” he replies. “You should come. Blake’s had a rough time lately, and I know he would be glad to see a friendly face.”
“A rough time?” I ask in concern.
“Ah, yeah. Haven’t you heard? His parents are getting divorced.”
“Shit. I didn’t know. Aric didn’t tell me,” I say in response. “How’s he doing?”
“Not great. He’s pretty depressed. That’s why you should come over and cheer him up tonight.”
“Eh, I don’t know,” I say with a wrinkle of my nose. “I think I’m a little old for a high school party. Besides, my roommate Gwen came home with me.” I wave my hand toward the back of my house where she’s waiting.
“Bring her too,” Royal suggests. “We’ve got a ton of booze courtesy of my fake ID.”
“I could use a drink. Or fifteen…” I admit, and I’ve always had a soft spot for Blake after he helped me get through a really shitty night about four years ago, the night after I lost my virginity and that dick Sean Jacobs immediately broke up with me. If he’s having a hard time with his parents, then I bet he could use another friend.
“Fifteen, huh?” Royal asks while scratching his fingers over his scruffy jawline.
“Yeah, it’s been a tough semester,” I explain. “But I don’t have a costume or a birthday present for Blake.”
“I’m sure you can find something lying around, like maybe your old cheerleading uniform?”
“Hmm. It’s probably still hanging in my closet unless Maddie threw it out,” I respond. “Oh! And I do have a brand-new pack of special gummies in my purse.”
“Perfect!” Royal says. “So, we’ll see you there?”
“Maybe so,” I agree with a smile before I head back inside my house that’s been taken over by strangers.
Chapter 5
Blake
“Blake, it’s Mom. I just wanted to call and tell you happy birthday. I’m not going to anger you or your father by coming by the house today, but I wanted you to know I’m thinking about you. I love you.”
A voicemail from my mom is the only acknowledgement either of my parents made to celebrate the day I was born. No cards, no cake, no present, no face-to-face wishes, just a voicemail from my mother, who I’m still pissed at. It makes sense that today isn’t a reminder of the happiest day of their lives or anything. I’m pretty sure I’m the only reason they ended up getting married and tolerating each other for eighteen years. They’ve been miserable together for as long as I can remember, probably since I was old enough to spell miserable.
“I’m cancelling my party,” I tell Royal when I open my front door on Halloween and find him standing on the other side, dressed up like a cop. Which is pretty fucking ironic since he’s underage and has two cases of beer under his arms.
“No fucking way,” he says. “It’s too late to cancel! Everyone’s already planning to come. It’s a tradition, man. Just think of all the teeny, tiny costumes the girls will be wearing. I’m gonna pull off a hat trick tonight.”
“Unless Hannah is coming and she’s going to wear three different costumes, I call bullshit.”
“Hannah was temporary insanity during homecoming. Nothing else!” he responds as he readjusts his grip on the cases under his arms. Odd, because I’m pretty sure I’ve heard her use the same temporary insanity reference before too. “I’ve only been tolerating her sitting at our lunch table for the past few weeks because you and Aric are causing a big enough rift as it is. I’m tired of being in the middle of your shit.”
“Yeah, well, I’m tired of being in the middle of my parents’ shit too, but there’s nothing I can do about that after Aric fucked everything up.” I leave the door open for Royal to come in; but after grabbing a full bottle of tequila from the liquor cabinet, I take the stairs up to my room, not in the mood to be social with anyone, not even the one best friend I have left.
Since my parents’ fallout, my dad has been pretty much MIA and my mom has been calling me constantly, but I can’t bring myself to talk to her just yet. How could I after she fucked my friend dozens of times? I don’t have anything to say to her.
Sitting in a wicker chair out on the balcony that juts out from my bedroom with both of my feet propped up on the railing is where Royal finds me ten minutes later after I watch him carry in at least twenty cases of beer.
“Here,” he says, throwing something soft in my face. Looking down when it lands in my lap, I realize it’s my navy-blue and red football jersey with the number fifteen on it.
“What’s this for?” I ask him. “The season’s over. We lost our last five fucking games.”
“At least you got to play. And you need a costume. It’s the best I can do before people start showing up. Just put the damn thing on!”
“Fine,” I grumble as I sit my bottle of tequila down on the cement to pull the jersey over my head and on before scooping the bottle up again. “Happy?” I ask, holding my arms to the side.
“Almost,” he mutters. Next, he goes into my room and then comes back to throw a Mercy hat at me. “Put that on too.”
“Whatever,” I sigh as I pull it on backwards. “Now will you leave me the hell alone?”
“Yeah. Now we just need to get you laid,” it sounds like he says under his breath before he thankfully disappears.
Caroline
“I don’t want to cause any problems,” Maddie says when my parents and Aric get home and we all sit down at the dining table to ‘talk things out.’ “We can just go back and stay at our trailer…”
“Trailer? Are you serious? Where did you find this girl?” I ask my brother. She may as well have a neon gold digger sign hanging around her neck.
“Caroline!” my mother exclaims. “I know we should’ve told you, but fostering Maddie, Matt, and Mandy was a big decision that your father and I didn’t make lightly. I thought you would warn us if you were coming into town so I could try to explain everything to you.”
“Warn you I was coming into town? Just because I’m away at college doesn’t mean I don’t still live here!”
“You’re acting like a spoiled brat, Carol,” Aric grumbles at me, using the nickname he knows that I hate.
“I’m the one acting spoiled? You’re the one who gets everything you want, including to move your girlfriend into our house! I’m surprised she’s not sleeping in your bed!”
Based on the blush spreading on my brother and Maddie’s face, I’m thinking maybe they are sleeping together, right under my parents’ noses!
“I’ll go get our things and we’ll leave,” Maddie says when she gets to her feet.
“No, Maddie!” Aric shouts when he jumps up from his chair to go after her, making me roll my eyes at how overdramatic they’re acting.
“Don’t do anything rash, Maddie,” my mother says sweetly to the other girl. “We want you to stay. And legally we can’t let Matt and Mandy leave…”
“Then I’ll just go on my own,” Maddie says before disappearing up the steps with Aric following her like a little puppy dog.
I’m left sitting at the table with my angry mother and disappointed father. Ugh, I hate seeing that look on my dad’s face.
“You’re right, we shouldn’t have sprung all of this on you,” he starts. “But, Caroline, you need to st
art acting like an adult and stop throwing a childish temper tantrum. You don’t have any idea what Maddie’s been through.”
“No, I don’t, but she’s obviously got you all wrapped around her little finger!”
“You’re only here for the weekend, honey,” my mom says. “Why do you even care if she uses your room while you’re away?”
“Because…” I start to try and find the words to explain to them that I’m failing all but one of my classes, but I can’t. How can I tell them that news when they’re already angry at me? “Because you should’ve at least asked me first. How would you feel if you and dad went on vacation for a few weeks and I let someone rent out your room while you were gone?”
“It’s not the same thing,” my dad says as he stands up from his seat. “And I can’t believe you’re making such a big damn deal about this. The kids are staying; and if you don’t like it, you can go back to Hawthorne.”
“Wow. I can’t believe he said that,” I mutter as I leave my mom at the table and march back upstairs to what was once my room, having to blink away tears that my parents are choosing a stranger, Aric’s girlfriend, over me, their own daughter. “Get ready,” I tell Gwen who’s on her laptop at my desk. “I’ve got to get out of this house.”
“Where are we going?” she asks gleefully, always up for anything.
“My brother’s friend is having a big Halloween party tonight, and every year is wilder and crazier than the last.”
“Nice! Can I dress up?”
“Sure,” I tell her. “If you can come up with an outfit based on what’s in this room.”
Chapter 6
Blake
From the balcony on the second floor of the house, I watch as the sun starts to set and the lamp posts lining our suburban street turn on. Once it’s dark, cars start pulling up in the driveway and then line the sidewalk, each one full of people dressed up and ready to party. The lone figure walking across the grass from two houses over is easy to spot because he’s a big guy wearing a white hoodie that practically glows. As he comes closer, I notice that there are black bones on the front of the hoodie, which I guess is supposed to make him a skeleton. He’s also carrying something straight out in front of him.