by Carlo Zen
…Keyword: thought.
But what was this?
Was this a soldier’s duty, what must be done to protect the fatherland?
My duty?
I couldn’t stand the feeling. It was a strange sensation, like I was losing myself forever.
I didn’t want to remember my first…my first time killing someone with my own hands.
People die too easily on the battlefield. People you eat dinner with one night disappear by breakfast.
In just a short time, I kill people, and my friends get killed.
The Rhine front is really, truly hell.
The urge to run flitted across my mind.
But then—
The batmen came to tell us breakfast was ready. Since we were at a rear base, as an officer, I had the right to use the provisional officers’ mess.
Put another way, I have to eat at the officers’ mess.
As I rinsed out my mouth and straightened out my uniform, the mirror reflected my haggard face. In just one day, I’d transformed into a monster. I couldn’t believe it was me.
“…Now I’ve seen war.”
Quietly.
My inner thoughts slipped from my mouth on their own.
Leaning on the sink, I just managed to hold back the rising nausea, and then I looked to the heavens.
Really, how can everyone act normal in this crazy world of war?
The moment I entered the officers’ mess, the feeling intensified.
It was crowded with the officers from my battalion. I heard the commander had eaten and was already at work. And the officers were taking their time and chatting.
Despite what had just taken place, I even heard laughter. Everyone was smiling and talking, relaxed. Something about the gap between the insanity suffusing the battleground and this scene disgusted me.
My batman waited on me, and my food came out, but how could I possibly have an appetite? Even so, I still had the habit I’d learned in my military career to force food down my throat if I had to.
I used coffee to break up the hard biscuits and made myself eat them along with some bacon. There was no way the flavors would register, but I figured my body needed them to stay alive, so I swallowed them down.
Humans have to eat, even at times like this. It’s the same as forcing food down my throat when I was exhausted at the academy. That’s what I told myself, but it took an awfully long time for me to finish my meal.
Then I found myself heading to the small auditorium for the usual morning classroom session.
My mentality was to follow orders due to force of habit from the drilled repetitions, again and again. Even times like this when I had no willpower, I was still a soldier.
Then I realized I wanted to burst out laughing.
“…Wait a minute, what happened?”
I can laugh. It was a startling, refreshing discovery.
I guess I didn’t expect it because of my situation. Apparently, the human spirit is ridiculously resilient.
“Oh, I can’t be late.”
I took so long to eat breakfast even though soldiers, praised for their unceasing vigilance, are supposed to get that over with quickly.
As a result, I had no time to lose that morning. If I stood around lost in thought, I wouldn’t make it to the lecture on time. When I realized what time it was, I dashed off to the hall.
“Magic Second Lieutenant Grantz coming in.”
“Grantz? Sure, come in.”
But when I got there, the desks were empty aside from a few company commanders and key officers giving me puzzled looks.
Am I too late? The worry flitted across my mind, but when I looked at the clock on the wall, I had just made it five minutes early.
Everyone was supposed to be there by that time.
Normally, I would never be the only one rushing over here.
“What is it? You guys are supposed to have off today.”
Lieutenant Weiss must have understood why I was confused, and I finally realized after he said something.
“Sir, embarrassingly enough, I thought we had class today.”
I guess the shock from last night was so great that nothing they told us registered. Wincing, Lieutenant Weiss explained that after we got back we’d been granted leave. With my head full of other things, I had gotten up unsteadily this morning, but apparently they thought I was taking my time with breakfast to enjoy it. In other words, the superior officers figured I was having a relaxing breakfast on my day off, so they didn’t check on me.
I should have realized sooner.
“I’m sorry.”
“What? You’re fine. But while you’re here, tell me what you thought of the raid,” said Lieutenant Weiss, pointing to a seat. The other officers didn’t seem to mind, so I decided to join them… Well, it was a good opportunity. You reap what you sow, after all.
“Honestly, I was in a trance. Before I knew it, I was back at base.”
I didn’t want to die, so I had been completely absorbed in taking action. If you ask me what I actually did, though, my memories are hazy.
It was embarrassing, but I was honest with them.
“Yeah, that’s how it goes, I suppose.”
“Well, nice job making it through. With that as your first combat experience, your next one should be a lot easier.”
But the officers didn’t really seem to blame me. At the academy, I would have gotten chewed out—Keep your head screwed on out there! On the front lines, they’re more realistic; they recognized that I had survived.
They were actually nice to me, as if being considerate were the norm.
“Everyone has to run that gauntlet. Well, if you survive the commander’s training, consider yourself more or less fine.”
“Lieutenant Serebryakov toughened up just by flying after her.”
“Well, yes, that’s true… Would anyone like to trade with me?”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha. I’m second-in-command, so I can’t fly with her.”
“It wouldn’t do for company commanders to bunch up, so unfortunately the reality of my duties prevents me from trading with you, Lieutenant.”
“It really is too bad.” Lieutenant Serebryakov puffed out her cheeks and pouted as if she were really fuming.
The collection of individuals here creating this peaceful atmosphere were the old stagers who had been working so furiously the other day.
I suddenly felt like I might sigh out of relief. Up until just a moment ago, I was so shaken, but I was starting to calm down a little bit.
Nobody said so, but I’m sure they had all been upset the first time they shot and killed someone.
But now they have those memories, and they aren’t upset by them.
“Don’t think too hard, Lieutenant. Just focus on staying alive.”
Someone patted me on the shoulder, and they let me go. It was proof that the more experienced officers accepted me as a little bit tougher than a chick newly hatched.
The next day…
To Tanya, everything is going too well. For starters, when she wakes up, breakfast and coffee are already neatly prepared for her.
There are no harassing bombardments and no enemies wandering into their airspace, so after eating in peace, her first administrative tasks of the day go smoothly. Awfully smoothly. A request that would normally take weeks to fulfill gets accepted in one try, and the supplies are delivered right away.
How horrifying can it get? Parsimony is the supply officer’s job, but he hands over the special bullets for loading with interference formulas and the casting detonators with a smile. Meeting a grinning debt collector or auditor would feel more real— No, actually, they’re all unthinkable.
This is the first time everything has gone according to procedure; I never would have imagined that supply delivery and paperwork inspection could be done so amiably. Thoroughly astonished, Tanya has no choice but to be on guard at this unexpected efficiency.
After all, supply and paperwork inspections operat
e on the iron rules of precedent and not rocking the boat. In other words, you can practically describe them as a naturally occurring phenomena.
If they are acting unusual, it has to be a sign of abnormal conditions. I guess I should avoid going out for a while, if I don’t have to, Tanya thinks; she’s not averse to preparing for any eventuality.
Today is definitely going to be trouble. Convinced of this, Tanya steels herself. She’ll give strict orders to the troops in the trenches to be on guard. She’ll have her unit at combat readiness level two. She’ll keep an eye on the enemy and make preparations to ensure a rapid response is possible.
Then, for some reason, nothing has happened and it’s lunchtime. Food is served. It’s a real steak with sauerkraut. There’s even rhubarb juice for dessert.
It all just arrived via the unusually smooth-running supply lines.
The members of her unit all dig in enthusiastically, but she still can’t believe it and inspects the food a bit before eating.
I’m jealous of the guy who struck gold with that potato condition and got to fall back to a safe area.
I’m wondering if they want to send me to the rear already due to the nudge I may have given foreign policy regarding the Commonwealth. If I got food poisoning, they’d happily sacrifice me, so I can’t be carelessly getting sick.
Of course, watching my subordinates wolf down the meat is torture.
Being the only one who has to wait is sad, indescribably so if it turns out nothing’s wrong. I can’t stand it anymore. Reluctantly balancing reason with desire, I am about to start on my meat, and that’s when it happens.
Lieutenant Weiss comes running over with a telegram, and Tanya ends up missing her chance to eat.
“Major, it’s from Command.”
With no choice but to lay down her knife and fork to exchange salutes, Tanya is the very definition of displeased.
If he weren’t so sensible I’d throw him out right now.
At least read the situation. It had better be awfully important if you’re obstructing my opportunity to have a fine meal on the front lines where we have almost nothing to look forward to. Unbelievably outraged, she can’t help but reply grouchily, though she knows it’s an emotional reaction.
“…I’m eating, Lieutenant Weiss.”
Her tone doesn’t veer into criticism, but her discontent is faintly audible. Most subordinates would hesitate if their superior spoke to them in such a voice. No one wants to incur their boss’s wrath. But in unusual circumstances, they don’t yield. And this is one of those rare situations.
“My apologies, but it’s quite urgent.”
And from the fact that he presents not a message tube but simply a short cipher, she smells trouble.
“Hmm? It’s not orders?”
Usually orders come by telegraph.
As long as it’s addressed to the commander, no one can read it before them except for the radio operator.
So short ciphers are used when it doesn’t need to be telegrammed or can’t be.
Basically, it’s going to be either stupid or utterly annoying and stupid.
“No, you’ve been summoned to appear immediately.”
“Summoned to appear immediately? Understood.”
Agh, what a day.
It’s going to be horrible.
[chapter] VI Ordeal of Fire
PRESENT DAY, LONDINIUM
I always get depressed this time of year.
Good evening, everyone.
This is WTN Special Correspondent Andrew.
…Today, we won’t be bringing you the usual documentary.
We’ll still be looking back on what happened during the war, but today we’ll be doing it with a prayer. This will be a memorial broadcast.
First, let’s talk about the disturbance in the Arene-Roygen region. The video you’re all seeing right now is invaluable archival footage of residents of the occupied area revolting against the Imperial Army… This program contains numerous violent scenes. What happened during that time? Because our aim is to confront the truth, we’ve been granted permission under the ethics code to broadcast this material, but viewer discretion is advised.
Now then, are you still with us? What you see in the upper right-hand corner of your screen is Karelian Cathedral. It was also the scene of a tragedy we’ll discuss later on.
All right, we’ll keep the prefatory remarks to a minimum, as we’re connected to the venue of the memorial ceremony now. Here is video of the commemoration of the victims of the suppression. This year, we can finally see ambassadors from each country in attendance.
The controversy goes on, but we should be glad the reconciliation process has reached the point where the two nations are having a joint memorial.
After all, this is a day to remember: They’re unveiling the new Karelian Cathedral, raised out of the wreckage by the citizens’ own hands.
The city of Arene burned. This is the story of how its people overcame their suffering and rebuilt.
Tonight, we discuss this wartime tragedy with an eye on those who are thinking of the future.
Here is Arene in the immediate aftermath, ruined.
This was recorded in secret by a newscaster from the Waldstätte Confederacy, which was one of the few neutral countries.
Can you tell that the partially collapsed building in the foreground is the famous white cathedral Karelian?
This all started when a hunt for partisans turned into a military clash. Arene had always been staunchly anti-Empire. It didn’t even take a day for skirmishes to develop into a full-on uprising. We’re told that the Imperial Army was shocked upon receiving the report that anti-Empire riots were spreading and that they no longer had control over the city.
“This could cause the collapse of supply lines servicing the Great Army on the front.”
Having made this judgment, the army feared the collapse of the front, where it had dedicated its bodies and souls, and it responded without mercy.
Upon receiving word that anti-Empire riots had broken out in Arene, Major General (at the time) von Zettour proposed a swift, ruthless way to “cope.” Major General von Rudersdorf of the Operations Division immediately called an emergency meeting of the Imperial Army General Staff and got the operation approved as a joint proposal from the Service Corps and Operations. With that, the army had permission to send military forces into the city.
One of the main points of controversy, even today, is that the Imperial Army unhesitatingly chose to gain control of the city with not police power but the army.
From that decision, it is generally believed that the Empire regarded the uprising as irregular warfare, and people speculate that the mission given to the Imperial Army units envisioned not suppression of the partisans but elimination.
On that point, the Empire argued at the time that partisan activities or the support of them was to forfeit the protection of the law of war.
And so the flames engulfed Arene terribly quickly.
We have here testimony from citizens of Arene who just barely escaped. They’ve told us that they weren’t revolting but that their protests had simply intensified.
…Of course, history tells us that no matter how things started, the Empire’s reaction was fierce.
Due to some documents being lost and others remaining classified, we don’t know the details, but a battalion-size, possibly larger group of mages was the first to attack.
After receiving what barely counted as a warning, the citizens were beset by a storm of mages.
“They gunned people down like they were so many targets in a firing exercise.”
“They got ‘points’ for shooting people.”
“People had blocked themselves in, so they used heavy-explosion formulas to bombard whole districts.”
These are all painful memories of the tragedy being shared today.
Even counting only the confirmed deaths, the city of Arene lost half its population that day. The worst incident occurr
ed at the Karelian Cathedral I mentioned earlier.
The swift, disproportionate mage assault they witnessed was only the vanguard. Once a train brought in a multitude of reserve units to sweep through and gain complete control of the city, the residents were left with few places to hide.
To protect themselves and their families, the only options remaining to the men and women who took up arms were to put up a hopeless resistance within the city or risk a desperate escape through enemy forces.
But with no other way to do battle, the sad reality is that the citizens were forced to barricade themselves in. The great majority of them took refuge in and around Karelian Cathedral.
The actions the Empire took in response to this are still debated today, and they have many critics. At the same time, you can’t help but notice a strange discrepancy between the complicated laws and common sense.
After all, legal scholars agree that the massacre wasn’t in violation of any laws of war. To you viewers at home, that fact must come as a shock.
It’s not as though citizens participating in the armed uprising were wearing military uniforms. They were irregular combatants. In other words, international law didn’t even guarantee them the rights of prisoners.
Perhaps that’s why the Imperial Army surrounded them and gave a word of warning.
“Release unaffiliated members of the general population immediately. We can’t allow your slaughter to continue. We demand the release of imperial citizens according to article 26, paragraph 3, of the Rules of War on Land.”
Records of what the citizens did are sparse, due to the chaos. But we do know that a small number of pro-Empire people attempted to escape and were shot in full view of the Imperial Army.
Now, why did this tragedy occur?
It recent years, scholars have pointed to the possibility that it was an unforeseen result of Republican propaganda. They had been expressing their intent to dispatch a rescue to take the city back.
Some Republican soldiers were even prepared to fight the Empire.
A number of historians say that atmosphere spread to the populace of Arene. More than a few suggest that the arrival of Republican Army mages led the citizens to make the wrong decision.