I tuned back into what was going on with the drills and watched the players running through cones, going over the ladder on the ground, and doing other speed drills. I glanced at Dax every few moments, noticing that he was doing the same thing I was: observing.
He had a clipboard in his hand and was making notes. Every so often, he wrote something down before looking back at the players.
“He’s hot, isn’t he?” Robin asked from my right, making me jump.
I glared at Robin. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
Then, thinking about what Robin was saying, I glanced around to make sure no one was near us. We were standing at mid-field and everyone was pre-occupied running drills.
“Also, be careful what you say. One wrong comment and someone could get in trouble.”
“Oops,” Robin said, eyes wide. “I didn’t think about that.”
I shook my head. Robin usually didn’t. “Considering we’re the only two women here, we have to be especially careful,” I said, dividing my attention between her and the players on the field, making a few notes of players that seemed to be dragging.
“You can’t say he isn’t though,” Robin said, nudging me.
I shrugged. I refused to stand there and discuss this with Robin, even though I definitely had noticed how hot he was. It was hard not to.
That combined with the crush I was apparently still harboring from our college years meant I couldn’t not notice how hot he was.
I looked at Dax again and saw that the guys were taking a break and were huddled away from him while he made notes on the clipboard in his hands.
I really was curious about what he was writing and what his thoughts were this first day.
If I was honest, I was curious about a lot of things with him, mainly why he’d agreed to become a coach. But I wasn’t going to pursue finding any of them out unless he offered.
I walked toward the offense as they started running through more drills and noticed that many of my star players were doing well and everyone seemed to be on it, moving quicker than they had before.
That meant good things. I tried not to think about the fact that they might push themselves harder because of Dax being there. Whatever the reason was, I was happy that they were doing it.
I watched them practice before nodding to Zach, who called an end to the drills. The guys sighed in relief and grabbed water bottles. I looked toward the defensive side and noticed they were doing the same. I looked around until I found Coach Mills and he nodded toward me. That was my cue.
I walked to the sidelines and grabbed the bin with our practice jerseys and took the top off before walking over to the huddle of players.
A few minutes later, I was standing on the sidelines with the rest of the coaching staff watching the two teams duke it out on the pitch. I always enjoyed when we scrimmaged because it allowed us to see what game play would be like and see how different combinations of players worked together.
I sat down and watched the two teams battle it out, noting gaps that needed to be filled and things we needed to address the next day when we reviewed the footage from today’s scrimmage.
Soon enough, the scrimmage was over, and another team was on the field. We repeated this until everyone had played a game and then practice was done.
After a quick talk with the players, reminding them of their afternoon workouts in the weight room with the trainers, Coach Mills released them and we were able to go about our day.
I called out to Dax before he could walk away. “Dax, do you have time to join me in my office?”
He nodded. “Sure. Lead the way.”
He fell into step beside me and we walked in silence as we left the field and eventually entered my office. I closed the door behind him, wanting a small amount of privacy to talk to him about his placement with the team. I didn’t want someone overhearing something they shouldn’t, even though I couldn’t imagine anything would come up.
There was no way of knowing if someone was listening though. The men might be adults, but they were still gossips and I needed to head off any rumors at the pass.
3
I eased myself into my office chair and leaned back.
“I have to admit,” I said after a few beats of silence, “It surprised me when I was told you were joining the coaching staff. What made you want to be a coach?”
I leveled Dax with one of my most intense stares, the one that usually made the player on the other side of my desk squirm with unease. He didn’t so much as flinch and leveled me with his own stare. It unnerved me, and I shifted in my chair. I wasn’t proud of that.
“I took an interest in it a few years ago when I was injured.” I nodded. I remembered the injury he was talking about. They thought he’d torn his ACL, but he’d only severely sprained it and was only out for a few weeks. “Because they benched me, I helped with some other things. Discovered I liked it. When I retired because of the concussions, it seemed a logical step for me. It allows me to continue to work with a sport I love, just in a different capacity. Less chance of a concussion as a coach.”
He grinned. I couldn’t help grinning back at him. Once I realized what I was doing, I wiped it from my face and nodded. “I didn’t realize you’d done that while sidelined.”
A red tinge covered his cheeks, and I wondered if it embarrassed him. “I didn’t advertise it. If I had, people would have been speculating about my retirement long before it happened.”
That was another thing I could understand. Much like Beckham, Dax lived his life in the spotlight and the public had a vested interest in keeping up with what he was doing. If people had seen him taking an interest in coaching and what went on behind the scenes, there would have been photos of him everywhere and articles written about how he was done. That would have hurt his image.
“So, what do you hope to contribute here then?”
He leaned back in the chair and crossed an ankle over his knee, looking at me thoughtfully. I tried not to notice how his workout shorts molded to his thighs and the way his muscles bunched as he sat there looking at me.
But it was hard because he was a very attractive man and I was a woman that was remembering the crush I’d had on him years before.
It didn’t help that we were stuck in a small office with small windows and nowhere to escape to.
“Well, I mainly hope to help your offense take it to the next level and help you develop a better strategy for play. I watched you all play last year, and the team is good. You’re a great coach. But some guys are sloppy. Toward the end of the season especially, you could see they were struggling.”
I nodded. “I agree. That’s what I was looking for today, actually. I wanted to see if we’d made improvements over the end of last year’s season. I chalked it up to fatigue today, but I wasn’t sure. What do you think?”
He tapped a finger against his lips and I forced myself not to stare at it. “I think you’re right. Most of it was fatigue, but I also think some of them are lazy. I hope to cure them of it.”
My brows rose at his words. “Lazy and cure them of it?” I repeated.
He nodded and grinned. “Yep. I picked out a few that are outstanding players, but seem to let personal feelings rule the day.”
I knew exactly who he was talking about, but I let him continue to outline his thoughts and his plans on getting them in tip-top shape for the start of the season. I really wanted to ask him what he thought the personal feelings were. I thought the issues stemmed mainly from the fact that I was a woman, but I wondered if Dax would have a different opinion.
I asked him a few more questions just to be sure, but I was pleased with him and his plans. I was worried when I first found out simply because I had no way of knowing how serious he was about the coaching gig. It turned out he was very serious about it if his demeanor right then was anything to go by.
“Any questions for me?” I asked.
He tilted his head and looked at me thoughtfully. It wasn’t
the first time he’d done it, but this time it looked like it was preceding a question.
A few moments later, I found out I was right.
“Why do you look familiar?”
My brow furrowed at his question. “I’m sorry?”
“You look familiar to me, like I’ve seen you before.”
“Well, as you know, I coach a professional team, so—”
“That’s not it.” He cut me off and narrowed his eyes. “I feel like I’ve seen you long before you became a coach.”
My mouth grew dry. There was no way he was referring to college, was he? That was long enough ago that I hoped he wouldn’t put two and two together and realize anything, especially when he didn’t say anything earlier. I also knew I looked different enough that he might not make the connection. At least, I hoped he wouldn’t.
“I attended the same university you did.”
“You did?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I was the goalie for the women’s soccer team there.”
Surprise flitted across his face before he schooled his features. “That must be it.”
“Must be,” I echoed. I made sure to keep my mouth shut after that. I didn’t want to inadvertently say something I didn’t want to.
Things I didn’t want to think about threatened to spill over the edges of my mind, but I forced myself to remain focused on Dax and not the past.
“If you don’t have other questions, I’ll see you tomorrow.” At this point, I wanted him gone. He was starting to invade my thoughts. I stood and motioned toward the door.
He stood as well and nodded. “It was nice meeting you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I barely refrained from sighing as he walked away. His ass was nicely encased in his workout pants and I would bet it was firm to the touch too. Everything about him seemed firm. Then I realized what I was thinking and scolded myself. I didn’t need to be thinking along those lines with him.
The click of the door closing pulled me from my thoughts.
Dax Stephens.
Who would have thought that all these years later I’d see him again? And not only see him again, but be working with him.
Of course, I was aware of who he was. It was hard not to be.
But I rarely let myself think about college and the fact that we attended at the same time. We graduated at the same time too.
I sank back into my chair and ran a hand over my face, sighing.
I was surprised he remembered me. The men’s and women’s teams tended to party together, but Dax had his fraternity brothers and I wasn’t known for going to many parties, so we’d only crossed paths a few times.
One of those times was particularly memorable.
Before I could go down that rabbit hole, my office door burst open. Robin slid inside and closed the door behind her before dropping into the chair that Dax had just vacated. “Tell me everything!” she said, leaning forward. “Did you ask your questions?”
I sighed. “Yes, I did.”
“And?” Robin asked.
“I think he’s a good addition.”
Robin scrunched her face. “A good addition? That’s it?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t going to divulge anything that we’d talked about unless Coach Mills asked. “What else do you want me to say? He has had an interest in coaching for a while, so this wasn’t a whim. I think he’ll be good for the guys and the team as a whole, coaches included.”
Robin huffed. “You never ask the important questions.”
I rolled my eyes. “If you’re about to say I never ask about dick size or something, you can just remove yourself from my office.”
Robin laughed. “I wasn’t, but that does sound like something I would say. It’s more I don’t think you let yourself free enough.”
I arched a brow. “Let myself free?”
Robin nodded. “Yeah. You’re so tightly wound. Dax would be good for you.”
“Good for me?” I parroted. I didn’t know why I couldn’t seem to say anything Robin hadn’t already said.
“Yes. You’re wound so tight. I know you live for this team, but don’t you think it’s time you put yourself out there? Go find a man and fuck him!”
My eyes widened. “Lower your voice!” I hissed.
“Nope, I refuse.” Robin jutted her chin out and crossed her arms, staring at me.
I massaged my temples and wished fervently that the floor would open and swallow me whole. This was not at all what I needed.
“While I agree I could use some…relaxation, I’m not mixing that with business. Coaches are off limits for us too.”
Robin pursed her lips. “That’s a silly personal rule.”
I sighed. “It might seem like it, but it’s really not. If something doesn’t work out, imagine how awkward that would be.”
I purposefully kept silent about my own thoughts and feelings toward Dax. So far, I’d kept myself from showing them, but our relationship might become the very definition of awkward if he happened to remember anything else about me.
“You’re no fun.”
“I’m aware,” I said in a dry voice. She told me this at least once a week, usually more.
Robin sighed dramatically and slouched in the chair. “Can we at least go out after work and scope out some guys?”
“Scope out some guys?”
“Yes. I need to find someone to wile my time away with tonight. I need a wingwoman.”
“Jesus,” I muttered under my breath and scrubbed a hand over my face. “If I say yes, will you leave me alone for the rest of the day?”
“Yep.”
“Fine. Mid-Field at seven?” I listed the first bar I could think of that was close to the stadium and wouldn’t be too crowded.
“You got it, boss!”
Without another word, Robin bounced from the office and I was left with blessed silence. I could vaguely hear music coming from the weight room just down the hall, but there wouldn’t be a reason for anyone to come to my office, so I was alone for the moment.
I was grateful. I felt like I hadn’t had a moment to properly think about anything since I started my day and I needed to figure out how I felt about Dax being on the staff, specifically my offensive staff.
I hadn’t seen him since senior year and him being here was dragging up all sorts of feelings that I wasn’t sure about. I needed to sort them out because pining after an old school crush wouldn’t accomplish anything except further heartbreak.
And I couldn’t have that.
Maybe going out with Robin would help me push him and our last meeting from her mind. I needed something to give me some hope.
4
Much to my dismay, I couldn’t push my memories of Dax from my mind. It was bad enough that Robin was picking up on my preoccupation and had taken to pestering me about it.
If I so much as looked Dax’s way, Robin would ask me about it later. If I mentioned Dax, Robin would make a comment about him to try to get a rise out of me.
This had been going on for close to a month and we were nearing our first regular season game. I couldn’t afford to be distracted since we were playing our biggest rival for the opening match.
But I was, and it was because of Dax. I tried to limit our time together and made sure we were never alone, but it wasn’t enough.
Memories flashed through my mind constantly of us together, of the glimpses I’d seen of him in college, of him playing in college while I sat on the sidelines watching with the other women’s players.
I’d taken to studying him when he was talking to the team, noting how well his clothes fit and how scrumptious he looked right after he worked out with the players, sweat dripping down his face and disappearing under the collar of his shirt.
I shouldn’t be thinking about that; about him. But I couldn’t help it. He was consuming my thoughts to where I was certain I was going to have a major problem on my hands if I didn’t get my head on straight.
I’d finally escaped to my office t
o regroup before rejoining the players in the auditorium to continue reviewing game footage of the rival team. We were looking at past games against them from the last few years. Dax was leading the discussion about weak points in our offense. We’d be addressing some things the next day during the morning practice by going through drills that would help them tighten up.
I’d been at the back of the room by myself, content to observe the players and Dax’s interactions with each other. As the head offensive coordinator, I could take more of a backseat in situations like this unless I was required to speak up.
That was until he sat down next to me. As soon as he sat down, I stiffened. There were plenty of seats, so I didn’t understand why he’d chosen to sit right next to me of all the places he could have sat.
Our thighs were pressed together and I couldn’t help but shiver at the spark that ignited all over.
I glanced at him from the side of my eye, but he was looking straightforward and didn’t seem to notice anything was amiss.
I felt like I was going to combust.
When we broke for twenty minutes for the players to stretch their legs, I’d bolted once Dax had moved.
My office was far enough away from the auditorium we used that I didn’t worry about someone going by while I wallowed with the door closed.
I was sitting at my desk, my head cradled in my hands as I talked myself off the ledge. I was letting Dax get to me too much. Personal feelings were becoming involved, and I had no idea why. What happened between us was ancient history. There was no need to worry that he’d dredge up those memories or even remember me.
None.
My door opened, and I looked up to see Dax standing there, poking his head in. I know I had to look shocked as he asked, “This a good time?”
It wasn’t, but I couldn’t tell him that. I waved him in and watched as he walked in, shutting the door carefully behind him, before walking to the chair in front of my desk and lowering himself into it.
Hearts Penalty Page 2