by Kimball Lee
“Well I should be better soon then, since I’m going through hell right now.” he said, lying next her, wishing they could in that room in that moment forever. “Maybe men are wired differently, Sky, because I need to learn to take lives and I need to carry on where my dad and your dad left off. I need to change the world, to save people from all the bad out there, I need to lose myself and find myself.”
“What you want is to save Finn and sadly, you can’t, no one can, Atti, but you go ahead and I’ll learn to live without you. I may not fall in love again but I’ll take a lover or maybe a dozen. If that’s how you want this to end, so be it.”
“FUCK! No it’s not what I want, and yes, it’s what you should do,” Atticus was out of bed in a flash, pacing the room. He felt like a caged animal, he felt like putting his fist through the wall, he felt like jerking that fucking piece of hair that was always falling across his forehead out by the roots. He felt like his mind would implode just thinking of another man putting his hands on the woman he loved, on his Sky. And instead of telling her that he couldn’t stand to be torn apart from her, that it would kill his spirit and ruin his life, he told her a lie. “Yes, it’s what I want you to do. Take as many lovers as you want, I don’t care, Sky, it makes no difference to me. We’re over, move on, I don’t love you, I just didn’t want to say it. I am not in love with you. Do you believe me?”
“That’s one of my favorite things about you, Atticus, you’re a terrible liar. My answer is no, I don’t believe you. I know you’re in love with me,” Sky said, climbing out of bed and catching his hand and drawing him to her.
He went willingly, lifting her, cupping her little butt in his hands, his cock hardening from her nearness. The look in her not-so-innocent eyes hit him like a bolt of thunder, the feel and smell of her indescribably soft skin, the firm curve of her sweet, sweet ass made him crazy. The thought of other hands touching her, other eyes relishing the sight of her, other men believing she could belong to them, pushed him past rational thought. He had to set her free, he had to let her find a better man to love.
He and Sky talked and texted a hundred times a day, that was something he would never admit to Hadley or Holden. He was a fucking love sick, infatuated, out of control mess when he was near her and it wasn’t much better when they were apart. He liked order and control in his life and with her, he was anything but controlled. Throughout the night he had ravaged her body and even as raw and swollen as she was, she welcomed his every kiss and touch. She was like a drug that his body craved and his heart had followed suit. It was so fucking clear that he would play out Finn and Alex’s love stories. He would push her away just enough while he played his war games and she would find a man to replace him. Then he would spend all the days of his future trying in vain to forget her.
Lust drove him as her arms circled his neck and her legs wrapped him so tightly he never wanted to be anywhere else. They crashed into the wall and he said he was sorry over and over and she said she was happy that she could make him as miserable as she felt. She held onto him desperately as he placed his hands against the wall and held her there, thrusting into her, eliciting small cries from her that grew louder as the searing pleasure raced through her. She climaxed once, twice, and then he followed her lead, falling over the edge of reason, both of them ecstatic and bereft and more deeply in love than ever.
Afterwards when they were too exhausted to make it across the room to the bed, they lay on the thick carpeting panting, their skin shining with sweat.
“I do have a plan for my future, it’s been in my mind for years and although my life without you will be nearly impossible to bear, I can manage it. My mother taught me how to carry on in the absence of love and affection. Both of my mother’s, really, Amanda and Lizzie, neither of them wanted me.”
“Sky, love, I do want you…”
“Don’t say that anymore, Atticus. I know you do, but you want a different life even more. You feel the need to punish yourself and its complete bullshit. Anyway, I’ll keep modeling to pay for college and law school, the person I want to pattern my life after is Charlotte. She’s always been my hero so I’m going to become an unstoppable attorney. If I ever see you again, Atticus, I’ll be an entirely different woman.”
*
“What would you like to do tonight, what would make you supremely happy?” Atticus asked that evening as they dressed in clothing a courier had delivered from Barneys New York.
It was their last night together and he dressed in black slacks and a sapphire-blue shirt that molded over the taut muscles of his shoulders, chest and arms, and it was the same vibrant blue as his eyes.
Skyler wore a short black slip dress with spaghetti straps that cradled her high round breasts and moved provocatively over her little round ass when she walked. She slipped into a pair of outlandishly sexy Kate Spade kitten-heeled sling-backs, and barely had time to grab her snakeskin clutch before Atticus led her out the door.
“Okayyyyy, you asked me where I want to go and then you drag me out the door like there’s a fire or something,” she said as he trapped her against the mirrored wall of the elevator with his hands sliding under the floaty hem of her dress. Her breath caught in her throat as he slipped a finger inside her panties and then he cocked an eyebrow and moved away when the elevator stopped and a couple in their seventies stepped inside.
“Good evening!” the woman said in a lilting British accent which led to a discussion about the divine supremacy of Manchester United.
“So your father is British? How lovely, but other than rooting furiously for Manchester I take it that you are thoroughly American?” the slender, jewel laden woman asked Atticus as her companion stole sidelong glances at Skyler’s legs and breasts.
“I am, I grew up in Southern California but I was born in Surrey. My uncle Jude is a doctor there and by a strange twist of fate he delivered me into this world and I don’t know why I’m telling you that,” Atticus said, he wasn’t usually so talkative, it was the woman’s accent, he imagined. It made him think of his grandmother Georgina, it made him want to tell this woman that his father was dying and it was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. It was more traumatic than the time when he was little and a man held a knife to his throat. This was much, much worse, he wanted to say, and he didn’t know if he could handle it.
“Dear Lord! Jude Hale do you mean? Why he delivered my first grandchild, he’s handsome and brilliant and I would’ve gladly run away with him if I’d been twenty or thirty years younger. Then again, how could I desert my poor devoted Orville?” she said tapping the out of touch gentleman on the shoulder and motioning for him to turn up his hearing aid. “What is your name dear boy and won’t you and your young lady friend come along with us to the Mayor’s birthday party? I promise it will not be boring, it’s invitation only, of course, but you’ll be my guests. There will be heavenly piano music, and Mr. Neil Diamond will be there in the flesh. The thought of his sexy hip swiveling is enough to bring on a case of the vapors, I do hope I remembered to bring my inhaler along. This is not for everyone to know but a little bird in the concierge office let it slip that the divine Mr. Diamond intends to encourage certain guests to join him for an exuberant round of karaoke. Oh, you’ll love it, I’ll personally see to it that you will get to sing a song right out of the gate!”
“Well, that’s thoughtful of you but we have plans, I’m afraid. It’s my last night in the city and we were just going out for dinner…”
“Oh, I assure you this will be much more fun than going to dinner, my name is Lady Beatrice Weston and this is my escort, Orville. My father was Lord Shackelford, don’t you know. And this sparkling gem of a girl was on the cover of French Vogue this month if I’m not mistaken, which I never am, and what a dreamy girl you are, my dear,” she said, tapping Skyler’s shoulder with the end of an ivory cigarette holder. “The pair of you are quite madly in love, I can spot true love at a glance. Come along now, a night spent reminding Orville to ta
ke his meds and check his batteries does tend to make me bitchy.”
“It looks like a bunch of drunk rich people,” Skyler whispered as they snaked their way through the crowd and sipped the martinis a waiter handed them.
“Easy on the gin,” Atticus told Skyler. “I’d hate to have to carry you back to the room, I know what a cheap drunk you are.”
“Oh really? Do you see that man over there who can’t stop pivoting his crotch and is obviously wearing a polyester hairpiece? Careful or I might tell him that you’re not quite legal as far as alcohol goes. What’s up with those freaky songs he’s singing? I feel like we’ve stumbled into a bad episode of That 70’s Show with everybody making love not war, which actually isn’t such a bad idea,” Skyler said but Atti was right, she could already feel the gin loosening her muscles all the way down to her toes.
“Think about, we have a room in the hotel and we’re not driving but we can’t buy an alcoholic beverage, it sucks doesn’t it? You and I are old enough to vote, go to war and die for our country, but we’re too young to drink. And that ‘freaky song man’ is the legendary Neil Diamond, an absolute oldie and maybe only a legend in his own mind. He was a chart-topper in the sixties and seventies and even though my mom loves elevator music she is not a fan of his.”
“Alright, alright! Let’s have a little karaoke sing along before we light the candles on our distinguished mayor’s birthday cake. Now, my dear friend Beatrice tells me there is a couple here tonight who are hopelessly in love and I’d be willing to bet that Romeo is dying to serenade his Juliette. Where is he, who can spot a man in love? Beatrice says he’s movie star handsome and extremely tall and in the mood to sing a groovy rockin’ favorite to Skyler,” the singer said and Atticus wondered if there was a back entrance so he could get the hell out of there. But Sky waved her hand in the air and two burly security guards appeared and escorted Atticus to the raised platform where Mr. Diamond tapped his white patent leather shoe in time with his gray-haired band members.
“Okay, alright! Here is, what’s your name buddy? There you have it, here’s Atticus Hale and he’s gonna sing my blockbuster hit from 1966, “Cherry Cherry”! The microphone’s all yours Atticus, good luck!”
“Neil Diamond, damn,” Atticus said studying the singer who wore thick theatrical makeup along with his hairpiece. A monitor overhead displayed the song lyrics and Atticus wondered why the hell it couldn’t have been a Rolling Stones song or a bluesy Al Green classic. He tapped on the microphone, cleared his throat and said, “My mother got me hooked on oldies when I was a kid but I think the last time I heard Neil Diamond was on my grandmother’s radio… well, it was a long time… never mind. It’s guaranteed that I’ll make a fool of myself with this song, but I’d do anything for Skyler. So listen up, Sky, this is a once in a lifetime event!”
Skyler laughed and covered her face with her hands when the song started but she loved him more each minute as he circulated through the crowd singing that utterly ridiculous cheese-ball song. He stopped in front of her and ran his fingers over the lovely angles of her face as he belted out the song with the all the party-goers cheering and echoing the lyrics.
“Baby loves me, yes, yes she does, ah, the girl’s outta sight, yeah! Says she loves me, yes, yes she does, gonna show me tonight, yeah! She got the way to move me, Cherry, she got the way to move me, all right! Tell your mama, girl, we can’t stay long, we got things we gotta catch up on! Mmm, you know, you know what I’m saying, can’t stand still while the music is playin’! You ain’t got no right, no, no you don’t, ah, to be so exciting! Won’t need bright lights, no, no we won’t, gonna make our own lightning! She got the way to move me, Cherry, she got the way to move me, Cherry baby!”
Atticus handed the microphone to Neil and bowed to the guests in the bar who were clapping and hooting and begging him to sing another song. He hugged Skyler so tight that he lifted her off the floor as she kissed every inch of his face and he whispered in her ear, “If that doesn’t prove that I love you then nothing will!”
Skyler knew it was cowardly but she left Atticus sated and sleeping soundly later that night, she decided it was best to make a clean break of it. She’d been getting frantic texts from Ava for hours telling her that all the men in their lives had lost their fucking minds. Alex had returned to San Diego and informed her and Jack and Amanda that Atticus and Holden were dropping out of the Naval Academy to start SEAL training. It was a great blow to her and her mother. JP had lived his life as an operative, he had cloaked himself in the cocky assurance that he was invincible, which was sadly untrue. The next thing they knew Jack had packed his bag and followed suit, he hadn’t told his family that he’d been offered a spot in the SEAL candidate class and just like that he was on his way to Illinois.
*
What were the chances of Mia Bly and Cuatro Rhodes running into each other at a bar in Manhattan? Probably slim at best, but they did and they both loved to drink and horde secrets and feel sorry for themselves. He was in town to meet with his agent and deliver the first chapters of his upcoming novel, he told Mia. He also told her that it was based on a barracuda lawyer and her driven-to-fame daughter who twisted men’s hearts and left them broken and bitter. Mia had just been released from a private mental health facility in upstate New York where she had struggled to free herself from the grip of the eldest son of the same home-wrecking lawyer. Much later that night over pillow talk it came to light that Cuatro and Mia had quite a few things in common. Namely a massive score to settle with the two people who would not be theirs, Atticus and Hadley Hale.
They barhopped at night and slept through their days and Mia was only a small bit irritated in light of his impotence. The Rhodes Ranch family was worth nearly as many billions as her father and Cuatro was a decent companion, intelligent, good-looking and not altogether dull. It made it easier actually, Cuatro’s inability to sustain an erection even when he sobered up long enough to get one. How he managed to write an entire novel was a mystery, he was flat out addicted to prescription drugs and alcohol which had left his brain a chaotic cesspool. Mia was enjoying her time with him until he carelessly remarked that her infatuation with her brother would add a great deal of fire to his novel. She told him if that information ever came to light she would end his drug and alcohol problem once and for all or maybe just see to it that he and his limp dick were no longer attached to each other.
Matilda Rhodes was barely back from her honeymoon to presidential hopeful Jordan Sullivan when she arrived in New York to attend the mayor’s birthday party. Jordan had insisted that she put in an appearance at the geriatric soiree at that Plaza Hotel and that was where a grand scheme began to take shape in her mind. She had met up with Cuatro and Mia and brought them along to the party, now they were sitting in a relatively quiet corner of the Oak Room when she heard the name ‘Atticus Hale’ announced as the karaoke singer. She and Mia had snapped to attention as quick as could be and there he was, the object of their passion and Cuatro’s hatred. He was singing and somehow he actually sounded good and looked sexy as hell, except that he was all starry-eyed over that far too young and seemingly innocent model. Mia and Matilda exchanged glances and it was imminently clear that Skyler was a solid detriment to any plans they might have for Atticus.
Matilda was getting awfully close to thirty and Jordan was adamant that she waste no time in getting pregnant to secure the women’s vote. Presidents weren’t elected if they didn’t have at least one child, it was a solid fact. A baby and the Rhodes Ranch money and influence was an almost certain guarantee of a winning campaign for the ambitious young couple. But Jordan was sterile, he was born that way, a fluke of nature the doctors said, just one of those unfortunate things.
Matilda wasn’t keen on ruining her body with pregnancy in the first place and she most certainly was not going to degrade the lineage of the Rhodes family by perusing a common sperm bank. The idea of some sub-par jerkoff’s ‘emission’ being squirted into her body by her gynecolog
ist made her nauseous to say the least. It was about as appealing as propositioning the homeless man who lived on her block and was obsessed with leaving his scandalously filthy dick hanging out.
No, she hadn’t had to think twice about a suitable sperm donor and there would be nothing cold and clinical about her baby’s conception. It would be easy enough to lure Atticus away from that skinny little pixie faced model, the problem was his neurotic insistence on wearing a condom. Still… where there was a will there was a way and he never had to know a thing about it.
Mia had her own ideas about what she envisioned herself doing with Atticus. Months of intense therapy was a waste of her time and her father’s money. She’d argued with the steady stream of psychiatrists who sat across from her droning on about the horrors of incest, but what did they know? You didn’t have to look too far back in history to find out that royalty indulged in that shit without batting an eyelash. Therapy had made her stop and analyze her deepest feelings for Atticus, however. She hated to admit it but maybe her love for him wasn’t so much a physical issue, maybe it had something to do with her need to be loved and accepted by the most important member of her family.