by R. Phoenix
I kissed his shoulder, murmured, "I love you too," and started moving. Slow, careful movements, making me sink deep time after time, while his cock rubbed over the diaper below him.
"God, Daddy!" he grunted as I took him, taking care to move his hips with each thrust. "I'm… Can I come?"
"Yes, baby. Come for your Daddy." I kissed his shoulder again, speeding up a little.
"I—" He didn't say anything else, but his whole body tensed and within moments, he came. He shivered, jerked twice and his ass tightened even more. Then he relaxed.
"My baby." I got the words out, then I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent. With a couple more thrusts, I came deep inside of him. It took me a moment to even move, then I sagged down, just remembering to catch my weight with my elbows. Micah didn't mind, apparently, because he just relaxed even more and his breathing deepened.
He was falling asleep like this, from the looks of it. I pulled out, grabbed some baby wipes and cleaned first myself roughly and then him up. His diaper was wet, but as I started to pull it away, he shook his head. "Leave it."
That was all he said, but I knew what he meant. "I can't, baby. That's not gonna be comfortable at all when it dries."
"Clean up. Leave."
Apparently, he wasn't even able to form coherent sentences, but I got what he wanted. After cleaning his ass, I turned him around, wiping his cock and the diaper as clean as it could get. He didn't even open his eyes, just sucked on his paci.
After making sure everything was clean, I fastened the diaper again, but didn't bother with his nightgown. Instead, I undressed completely, then pulled him against me with the covers over us.
Holding him tight against my chest, his diapered bottom against my cock, I kissed his shoulder one last time, then fell asleep.
Chapter Thirteen
Micah
I was so tired of studying, but my finals were no joke. I felt like I was doing nothing but going over notes and working on code. But I managed. Somehow. With Carter’s help, playtime with Snowflake, and trying to get Creamsicle to come out from under the couch. Sometimes, he even came out when it was only me there, but he seemed to hate Carter, since he vanished whenever he saw him.
He did sleep with us in our bed… only to hide once we woke in the mornings, but it was progress. He’d just have to come around eventually. And if he didn’t… Maybe getting a second cat wouldn’t be a bad idea. Then Carter could actually see how they were when they weren’t being so skittish. I’d known Creamsicle wouldn’t take well to being brought anywhere, but I also didn’t know how well he’d react to another cat, either. With my luck, he was just like Snowflake.
I looked from my laptop on the living room table to the water and food bowls next to the couch. We always had to make sure Snowflake didn't eat all of that, because he would, within seconds.
There was no sign of Creamsicle right now, but maybe he'd come up once I sat here for a little while and the room was silent. Carter was at work, Snowflake had decided to explore the garden, and I had some quiet time for myself… and my studies.
My phone buzzed. It couldn’t be Daddy, since he had classes right now, so I was tempted to just ignore it, but then I picked it up. Most likely, it was Finn. Or it could be Sean, but I wasn't sure about that. We usually didn't text.
It turned out to be Finn.
“Hey sweetie, what are you doing?”
“Studying :-( Aren’t you?”
Finn didn't reply immediately, but as soon as I focused back on my notes, my phone beeped again. “I'm having dinner with my parents. They dragged me to some fancy restaurant. I'm hiding in the bathroom.”
“Why are you hiding?”
“Aside from the fact that they're annoying, there's some hottie a few tables over and I'm hoping he'll come in here.”
I snorted and an orange flash vanished under the couch. Damn it. He'd been out here, and I’d chased him away.
I focused back on my phone, replying to Finn. “You know, dinner with the parents is probably not the best time to hook up with a guy.”
“There is never a wrong time.”
I snorted again. “If you think so…”
“Yep. Okay, I think I gotta go before they come searching for me. Talk to you later.”
“All right. Have fun!” I put my phone aside, trying to focus on my notes again, but my phone buzzed again.
“You don't know my parents. It’s never fun.”
At least he had parents who wanted to have dinner with him. I had to swallow hard around the lump in my throat at that. It wasn’t that I had the worst relationship with my parents. I certainly didn’t have it worse than Carter’s relationship with his mother and father right now. I’d never been abused or mistreated. I’d simply been… there. The only time they’d paid attention to me was when my grades slipped from perfect to just below it, and that was just to tell me how disappointed they were in me.
I’d always tried to be the best at everything I did, but that had never extended to social skills. When other kids had been going over to their friends’ houses, I’d been making excuses because my parents didn’t want to be bothered with it all.
In retrospect, it really sucked.
I didn’t think about them often, and I doubted they thought about me much more than that. They wrote the checks for my school, and I couldn’t help but wonder what they’d think when they saw I no longer had apartment fees. Would they even try to contact me to find out what was going on?
I bit my bottom lip. Obviously Finn hadn’t known his words would affect me, let alone how much, and I wasn’t going to tell him. I hadn’t even talked to Carter about my family. It was easy to avoid the topic when we didn’t want to talk about his parents either.
I sighed, toying with my phone before setting it down.
Closing my textbook, I went outside, sitting down in the grass only to be overrun by the overenthusiastic furball that was Snowflake. It felt good. I didn’t have Carter there to comfort me, but I still had my dog.
I buried my face in his fur for a moment, petting him, and he stayed surprisingly still, like he knew something was wrong. When I finally pulled back, he stood in front of me with his tail wagging.
“All right, you,” I told him. “I’ll sit outside with you for a little bit, but you have to let me reread this chapter.” I wanted my pacifier, but I didn’t want to get up and get it. It felt like a weakness, needing it, and I had to pull my shit together. It wasn’t like I never studied with my paci in my mouth; I did, and I used it to focus. But right now, it just felt like a failure to be so dependent.
If my parents had taught me anything, it was how to take care of myself.
I couldn’t focus on the words on the page, so I ended up getting Snowflake’s ball and throwing it for him. My thoughts kept winding around and around, and I couldn’t stop thinking about family.
This time, though, I thought about Carter’s family, about the way they no longer spoke to him because of me.
I knew on a rational level that it wasn’t because of me, exactly; hell, they’d thought they were rescuing me or something. But I still felt guilty. I’d been the one who wanted those things, and if we hadn’t been right in the middle of playing when they’d walked in, he’d still have them in his life.
It didn’t feel fair that I’d taken that away from him, but what could I possibly do about it?
I swallowed hard. Could I do it? Could I contact them on Carter’s behalf? They hadn’t wanted to listen to the explanations then, but maybe time had dulled the edge of their shock. And maybe if it came from me instead of Carter…
Snowflake nudged my hand when I didn’t throw the ball, licking my fingers, and I tossed it for him as I toyed with the idea. Would Carter get mad? I didn’t think I could do it behind his back, especially if it went poorly. I wouldn’t want to keep something that big from him.
Finally, Snowflake flopped onto the ground for some tummy rubs, which I gave him before heading back inside. I cou
ldn’t focus on studying anymore, and there was no point in it. I hesitated before going to find my paci and my favorite coloring book, sitting at the kitchen table and trying to calm down from the stress of my own thoughts.
I sucked on the paci while I carefully colored within the lines of the fish on the page. It helped, and I could see why adults liked coloring books too. It made me feel a little better about depending on them. If they made adult coloring books, maybe coloring wasn’t really so childish.
The pacifier in my mouth certainly was, though.
I stayed there for a long time, letting my thoughts drift away while I colored.
Finally, I heard the door open, and Carter called out, “Baby?”
I popped my paci out of my mouth. “I’m in here.”
He walked in, instantly frowning at me. “What’s wrong?”
“Why would something be wrong?” I asked, a little defensive — a little embarrassed that I was so obvious. “I’m just… stressed from exams.”
He quirked a brow, and he didn’t look like he believed me for a minute. “And?”
I sighed. There was no way I was going to lie to him. It just didn’t feel right. I nibbled on my bottom lip, turning my pacifier around in my fingers and toying with it as I tried to think of the right words. “It’s just… I’m thinking about parents.” His brow went even higher. “Mine, yours…”
“What brought that on?” he asked, sitting in the chair next to me.
“Finn’s having dinner with his parents and he was complaining about how annoying they are. And I was just thinking that I wished my parents would want to have dinner with me…” I didn’t look up at him. “And that your parents would want to have dinner with you again.”
“Oh, baby boy,” Carter said, leaning in to hug me. “You know it’s not your fault, right? What happened with my parents?”
I hesitated. “I… Yes. Sort of.”
“It’s not your fault,” he said firmly. “And I won’t let you think it is. Baby, they were wrong to come in like they did, and they didn’t understand what they saw.”
“Do you… do you think we should try again with them?” I asked.
Carter tensed a little, just enough to make me regret bringing it up.
“I mean, we obviously don’t have to,” I said in a hurry. “I didn’t—”
He put a finger to my lips. “It’s okay. I’ll think about it, all right? I’ve been hoping they’d reach out when they’re ready, but if they’re never ready, then that’s… what it is. I can’t make them understand.”
But I could tell how sad he was at the thought, and I couldn’t blame him.
“I didn’t mean to make you upset,” I told him, my shoulders slumping.
“You didn’t,” he said. “I’m more worried about you than I am about me.”
I bit my lip. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be okay.” I didn’t feel like I was going to be okay, though.
“You’ve never talked about your parents,” he said gently, like he was afraid I’d run away like Creamsicle if he wasn’t careful enough with his words.
I shrugged, but it wasn’t nearly as casual as I’d meant it to be. “There’s not really much to say.”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to,” Carter said, pulling me into his lap.
Sighing, I buried my face against his shoulder for a moment, breathing him in and trying to calm myself down. “There really isn’t much to say. We get along okay, I guess. They just… They’ve always been distant. They have their own lives, and I guess I was always inconvenient.” Tears burned at the corners of my eyes even though I tried to hold them back.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he told me, stroking my hair.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to think about it. I want… I want you to distract me.” I didn’t even know what I was asking for. It didn’t feel like there was much that could make me feel better, but I needed to try… something. I just didn’t know what.
“Do you want me to make you a bottle and cuddle you?” he asked.
“I don’t think I can settle down that easily,” I admitted to him. I pulled back, searching his expression. “I want you to spank me.”
He blinked at me, obviously taken aback. “What?”
“I want to experience something new. I want you to spank me, then diaper me and give me a bottle and put me to bed.” I felt strangely bold in my desperation to escape my own thoughts, but I had to avert my eyes before he answered because I was afraid of what I might see there.
“Are you sure?” he asked, smoothing a hand down my back. “I don’t want you to go into this and regret it because you aren’t in the right state of mind.”
“Sean acts out when he’s not doing so great,” I replied, my brain putting together pieces. “He pretty much asks for spankings and punishments. Why?”
Carter considered for a moment. “Nicholas used to act out to get spankings, too. Especially when he was stressed. He liked it, though I don’t understand it well enough to explain the appeal from that end.”
I didn’t think I needed an explanation, not when both Sean and Nicholas turned to earning themselves spankings when they got too stressed out. There had to be something to that.
“I want to try,” I said, my voice wobbling despite my conviction. “Please.”
He took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out, but whatever he saw in my expression obviously made up his mind for him. “All right. All right. We’ll try it, just a little, and you can see if you like it. Come on.”
I followed him upstairs, sighing when Creamsicle darted back under the couch as we passed. He’d been sleeping on the side of it, but apparently we’d startled him. I could get him being unsettled in that moment, and I wished I could just run away and nap it off too.
He sat on the bed. “Strip down for me, baby. You can leave your shirt on, if you want. This might be a little intense.”
I shook my head. I wanted to be naked before him, utterly bare and at his mercy so he could remind me that he cared enough to take care of me…
To want me.
I got undressed, tossing my clothes to the side, then watched as he got comfortable. He patted his lap.
“Come lie down on my lap,” he told me, and I climbed up on the bed to lay awkwardly over his lap. It was strange, like I was a kid again. I’d never been spanked before, but it didn’t feel like something that happened to an adult. Maybe it was too much. Maybe I’d hate it.
“Are you ready?” Carter asked, stroking my ass cheek with the palm of one hand. “I’ll be gentle. I promise.”
“I know.” And I did. I trusted him so completely that I’d give him permission to do anything.
“If you need me to stop, just say so, okay?”
I nodded.
“I need you to say it, baby,” Carter said, squeezing my ass lightly.
“I promise I’ll tell you if I need you to stop,” I told him, glancing up at his face. He looked so serious, so concerned, and I smiled up at him. I didn’t know how this was going to go, but I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Not for real.
He lifted his hand, the warmth leaving my ass cheek, then it came down in a gentle slap.
It startled me more than anything, and I jerked in his lap.
“You okay?” he instantly asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Just didn’t know what to expect. It’s okay.”
He slapped my other ass cheek, just hard enough to sting, and I found it a little less strange. I closed my eyes, relaxing into it, and he kept going. One smack, then another, in a steady rhythm that had me losing track of just what he was doing. It didn’t hurt, and it didn’t exactly feel good while he was doing it, but between spanks… I didn’t know what to think.
I sighed, and he paused, checking in with me again. I assured him it was fine, and he went back to it.
I wasn’t sure how long it lasted, but my ass cheeks were a little sore when he stopped. He rubbed them lightly, quiet when he finis
hed, and I just lay there drowsing in his lap.
“You okay?” he asked, and I murmured some sort of assent, not wanting to spoil the peaceful moment by speaking.
He let me lie there, not interrupting.
I was starting to doze off when he finally spoke again. “Do you want to cuddle? I’ll go get your bottle.”
I nodded sleepily, gratitude flowing through me as he helped me lie down properly with my head on the pillow. My eyes stayed closed, but my fingers briefly laced through his until he drew back.
He came back with a bottle, and it wasn’t until he put it to my lips that I realized how thirsty I was. The water in it was cold, fresh, and it was everything I could’ve wanted at that moment.
“How was that?” he asked when I finally finished drinking, his voice soft like he was afraid to spoil the moment.
“It was good. Really good,” I told him, cuddling close against his side. “I just want to lie here for a bit.”
“Rest,” he encouraged me. “You had a rough time of it. Get some sleep.”
I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to spend time with my daddy. But I was so relaxed that I couldn’t help but drift away, aware of nothing but Carter’s arms around me.
Chapter Fourteen
Carter
The exams were finally behind us, and unsurprisingly, Micah had passed with good grades. Despite all the stress he’d been under, he’d managed to excel. I liked to think I helped a little where I could, sometimes coaxing him away from his books to cuddle or let me pamper him as a little — to play, to relax, and to just be himself.
It hadn’t been an easy time. When he hadn’t been studying, he’d been at the shelter, and by the time he got home, I’d had to leave for work. I had to admit that I was really looking forward to having time with him again. While we’d played some to help him destress, neither of us had had the time or energy to really sink into our roles. I couldn’t wait to spend an entire weekend as Daddy and boy, as we often had before everything got so stressful.