by Meghan Quinn
She scoffs. “I didn’t flinch.”
“You did, Addie. You flinched, and like a dick, I thought I would try to save face and not make it hard on you. I said what I thought you were going to say.”
Staring at me, confusion in her brow, her eyes narrowed, mouth still parted, she shakes her head. “I don’t understand. Why not just say your true feelings?”
“Because.” I grab the back of my neck. “Because you were a girl who went from man to man. At the time, I thought maybe I was different, but when you flinched, fuck, I thought I was just another number, another one of those guys.”
“Are you kidding me?” She throws her arms up in the air. “Logan, you are my friend, one of my best friends. Do you really think I would have slept with you and then left?”
“I don’t know. I was so goddamn shocked you actually gave me a shot.”
“I can’t believe this. And what now, you decide to tell me you love me when I’m knee-deep pregnant with another man’s baby? Can you say poor timing, Logan?”
“I know, I know.” I run my hands through my hair, frustrated with myself. “Believe me, this isn’t how I wanted this to go down, but I thought I could get over you. I told myself I could, but the minute I saw you with him, I lost all ability to think straight. I was hoping it was only a fling, but when things started to get serious, I started to go crazy. But then he left. I knew it was my time to make my move, but I wanted to give you time to grieve the loss of your relationship—”
“And then I found out I was pregnant,” she finishes for me, realizing my struggle with my timing.
“Talk about a blow to the fucking gut. But he was gone, and I was there. I told myself I didn’t care that it was his baby; I wouldn’t be the paternal father. I still wanted to be there, I wanted to be with you.”
“And you were.” Her eyes well up with tears, her face growing somber and the tension easing out of her shoulders, the anger dissipating. “And you moved out here.”
“Because I love you, and I can’t seem to let go.” I take a step forward. “No matter how much I try to convince myself I’m not in love with you, I can’t. You’re ingrained in my heart, Adalyn.” I point to my chest. “Right here, you have permanent residence.”
“Logan . . .” She breathes out, her eyes widening when I take another step forward and wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her close to my body. Her hand falls to my chest, grasping for balance, her little baby bump poking my stomach. So fucking sweet.
I cup her face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and search her eyes. “This right here, this is where I want to be. I don’t care if you’re having another man’s baby. I don’t care if we’re living in this tiny apartment forever with a screaming baby in the next room, because as long as I’m with you, that’s all that matters.”
Her eyes search mine, her voice lost, so instead of waiting for her to speak, I bend my head forward, breathing in her scent. Mint and vanilla. Her fingers curl into my shirt, my hand grips her hip, holding her in place while I caress the softness of her cheek with my thumb, my intent worn on my sleeve.
Inches from her mouth, I say, “I love you so much, Adalyn, and all I want is to be with you.” Closing the distance between us, I press my lips across hers, taking a moment to soak in the feel of her soft mouth against mine.
I don’t push her. I don’t part her mouth with my tongue despite wanting to, and I don’t spend more than a few seconds exploring her lips. Pushing away, shock in her eyes, hand to her lips, she steps out of my grasp and backs up, tripping over the coffee table and falling backward. Luckily I catch her arms before she can tumble to the floor.
“Jesus, Adalyn. Be careful.” I right her but she keeps walking backward to her room.
Shaking her head, she says, “I . . . I can’t do this right now, Logan.”
Trying not to get upset, I nod my head. “I’m not going anywhere, Adalyn. I’m here.”
With that, she shuts her bedroom door, leaving me alone in the living room, my actions hanging heavily in the air.
So there was partial moonwalking. But it’s not like she slapped me across the face when I kissed her. Maybe she didn’t kiss me back, but I also caught her completely off guard tonight. She was expecting to go to dinner with her friend, which she did, but then I hit her hard with my feelings. That’s a lot for a someone to take in, let alone a pregnant woman who’s highly emotional.
I need to be patient. I need Hayden to screw up again and when he does, I’ll swoop in. Adalyn knows how I feel. I put it out there, now I need to wait.
Patience. This is a marathon, not a sprint.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
ADALYN
Remember when I said I’ve never been more confused?
I was wrong.
This is confused.
And to add to the level of confusion, Hayden is on the way to my apartment to pick me up. He said he would come to the door but there is no way in hell I’m going to let that happen.
He fought me about it, saying he’s cool with Logan, and I’m going to guess after last night, he’s not going to be cool with him at all.
Can we just take a moment to consider what happened last night?
Logan, my dear friend, who I’ve been through everything with from bad one-night stands to learning how to insert a catheter . . . we’ve gone through it together. The good, the bad, and the incredibly ugly.
And out of the blue, he goes and tells me he loves me and then kisses me.
What the hell?
And for the record, before you go judging me, HE kissed ME. There was no reciprocating of the kiss. No, I was pretty much a dead fish hanging off his lips last night. He must not have kissed a lot of women lately because when he pulled away, he looked fully satisfied.
He must have been kissing carps for a while if that was pleasing to him.
But he’s in love with me.
In love.
The big L word. Where the hell did that come from?
In all honestly, I’m not being naïve here. After our night together, I really thought there was no chance in hell Logan and I would ever be a couple. Anyone in my position would think the same thing.
This was a mistake.
It’s clear-cut. There is no going forward from there.
Oh and don’t get me started on the “flinch,” because that’s so ridiculous. For all I know, I could have had an ill-timed muscle spasm. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have flinched if he went to snuggle with me.
Ugh, men.
A flinch.
That’s what this all comes to. A freaking flinch. How about you ask me, did you just flinch or did you have a morning chill? I was naked after all. I could have been cold. A little shiver is what scared him off.
Absurd.
It’s times like these I miss Emma. It hasn’t been easy being so far away, but we have managed to connect most days either in the mornings before a shift like old times, or in the early evenings when we were both finished work. This morning, I tried calling Emma to talk about Logan’s declaration, but we couldn’t catch each other. She’d worked a morning shift then was helping Racer at the bridal store he’s working at. I was taking a nap when she called back. And her phone was off when I tried her back. I knew what that meant. When she hasn’t spent much time with Tucker, she turns off her phone and it doesn’t come on until . . . well, until she has come . . . well, multiple times. And he’s good for it. For. Hours. But I needed my friend. I still couldn’t get my head around Logan saying he’d been pining for me. I’d thought he’d been into Emma before she got together with Tucker. But he said he’d been pining after me for years. Did Emma know? Had she seen that? God, I was so confused. Part of me felt angry that he’d waited until we were here because it was his turn to make his move. It was so . . . contrived. Yes, he is amazing in how he packed everything up and left the East Coast to support me in LA. I’ll never forget that. But knowing he was doing it with the intention of making his move becau
se things with Hayden didn’t work out. Gah. The whole thing was absurd.
Rolling my eyes, I snag my purse, check myself in the mirror one last time, and make my way to the front door. Logan is on the couch, his computer propped on his lap watching something on Netflix.
Trying to be sneaky, I tiptoe to the door but not having an invisibility cloak at my disposal in such a small apartment makes it impossibly hard to sneak out without going undetected.
“Where you off to?”
Okay, I practiced this in my room. I wore jeans and a regular white shirt with leopard-print flats. Casual but still nice, not looking all gussied up for a night out.
“Shannon is picking me up. We’re going to the movies and then dinner.” My voice sounds a little robotic, but I plaster on a huge smile, showing off every last one of my teeth.
“What movie?”
Ha, got it covered and looked up times to make sure what I said matched up.
“The new Marvel movie.”
“Really? I didn’t know you were into Marvel movies.” I’m not. He shuts his computer. “I’ll tag along, let me grab my wallet and shoes.”
What? Who just invites themselves like that? Think, Adalyn. Pretty sure Hayden won’t be happy to take me to a Marvel movie with Logan.
“You can’t,” I shout. Laughing nervously, I play with the strap of my purse and say, “Shannon wanted a girl’s night.”
Raising an eyebrow at me, he asks, “Why are you looking all fidgety?”
“I drank a can of real Coke a few second ago, pounded it hard. The sugar makes me feel high as a kite.” I wipe my forehead. “Man, look out, high pregnant woman coming through.”
Now his brow is creased when he steps closer to me. To say I’m a good liar under pressure is not necessarily correct. I feel like he can see right through me.
“You drank one of my Cokes without asking?” He tsks at me. “That’s a roommate no-no, Adalyn. You should know that. Just poor etiquette.” When he reaches me, he pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head. “Have fun with Shannon, and tell her I said hi, okay?”
“Yup.” I swallow hard. “We’ll be out late, so don’t wait up.”
“Okay. Be careful. Call me if you need anything.”
With another kiss to the head, he sends me on my sweaty way, waving at me from the door. Thankfully he shuts it, not watching me the entire time.
It’s not like I’m already having a difficult time here, Logan has to come into the mix and throw me for an entire loop.
Outside, waiting for Hayden, I try to process everything. Logan is my friend, a boy I once briefly saw myself with long ago, a boy who broke my heart, who kept me guarded. But he’s also been there for me when I’ve needed someone the most. He’s protected me, guided me, and has been my rock.
And then there is Hayden.
He pulls up to the curb in his sleek car, a pinch in his brow when I open the door. “I told you I would come to the door. I don’t want you to have to wait outside for me.”
“It’s fine,” I say, getting immediately in and buckling up. Taking a second, fidgeting with my purse, I tell myself to forget the bomb Logan dropped on me last night. Hayden deserves my full attention, especially when he’s making such an effort. He drove straight from the airport to here, and I’m sure he’s exhausted.
“How was your flight?” I ask casually. He eyes me for a second before he starts driving.
“Fine, got in an hour of sleep. You know, it’s dark out, Adalyn, something could have happened to you.”
“Hayden, I’m fine.” I touch his arm that’s gripping tightly onto the gearshift. “It’s really okay.”
Exhaling heavily, he looks unhappy but moves on when he asks, “Do you like Chinese food?”
“Love it. Did you get us some?”
“Yup, should arrive shortly after we do.”
We’re not in the car for more than five minutes when Hayden is pulling into an underground garage and parking in a spot reserved for him.
Out of the car, he guides me to the elevator where he has to flash a key card to get started and presses the tenth floor. When we were pulling in, I didn’t realize that one, he lived so close, and two, the building was more than ten floors. It didn’t seem that tall when we drove into it.
“You’re pretty close, aren’t you?”
“Planned it that way.” Reaching out, he links my hand with his and leads the way when we step off the elevator. The hallway is a light shade of green with grey flooring, and modern, sleek-looking lights illuminate the dark but clean hallway.
It doesn’t take long to reach his unit, 10A. Not releasing my hand, Hayden opens the door and lets me in first. The room opens up to a span of windows overlooking the city below. To the right is an open-concept kitchen with dark cabinets, chrome hardware, and subway-tile backsplash. It’s beautiful and a great size for entertaining. To the left is a spacious great room connected to a dining room. All the furniture is dark, just like the cabinets, with accents of white and green. There isn’t much personalization to the space, just a few picture frames on a credenza, but it’s the view that’s breathtaking. It’s what draws me.
Walking toward the windows, I take in the busy streets below, wondering once again if there are any celebrities below us. Hell, are there celebrities in this building? Hayden is technically considered a celebrity, but in my eyes, he’s just sweet and handsome Hayden, not this mega-star everyone deems him to be.
Although, the people closest to Scott Eastwood must think the same thing.
“Would you like anything to drink?”
“Water is great,” I call over my shoulder, spotting my apartment. “I didn’t realize how close you were to me. You can see my place from here. You know, I could have walked here.”
That statement makes Hayden laugh, deep and throaty . . . and oh so sexy. “Adalyn, I didn’t even want you waiting outside after I realized what an idiot I was being. Do you really think I would want you to walk here, in the dark? Yeah, not happening and don’t attempt it, or I’m going to be really mad at you.”
“It’s a nice area, Hayden.”
Coming up behind me, he hands me my water and places his hand on my hip. Possessive, marking his territory, even though it’s just us in his apartment. It’s as though no time has passed, and it’s simply how we stand when close to each other. Easy.
“I don’t care.” His thumb rubs across my side, silently letting me know he’s looking out for me.
“This place is beautiful,” I say, taking in the room. “So open and airy. And the ceilings, they’re so high. Who knew apartments could feel so big?”
“I wanted to get you a better place, Adalyn, but your budget—”
I silence him with my hand to his lips. “I love my apartment, and it’s perfect. I was just admiring yours.”
Eyes softening, he lightly kisses my fingers and then links them with his. He brings me to the couch where we both take a seat, facing each other. Hayden’s large arm, defined and full of rippling sinew, spans across the back, his hand toying with a strand of my hair. Our propped-up knees knock against each other, our bodies are close, but still a reasonable distance for a conversation.
“Out of your brothers, who’s your favorite?”
“What?” I laugh, surprised by his question.
“You have to have a favorite. Hell, I have a favorite brother and mine are twins.”
“I understand the question, I’m just confused where it came from. I figured you would ask how I am, how the baby is or something like that.”
Becoming serious, Hayden says, “I love that baby growing inside of you with everything in me, Adalyn, but you are more than a vessel carrying my baby around. I want to know more about you.”
A little surprised, it takes me a second to gather myself. This is why I haven’t been able to erase Hayden from my life . . . from my heart. Because just when I think I can do it, that I’m strong enough to put distance between us, he says things like that, pulling
me right back in, firmly planting himself in my life. Because he cares for you, Adalyn. He never stopped.
Clearing my throat, I say, “Favorite brother, huh? Hmm, that’s hard since I have so many, but if I had to choose one of them, I would probably go with Patrick. He’s closest in age to me, and growing up, he’s who I played with the most. He’s the one I stay in contact with the most. Plus it helps that I like his wife the most. She’s fun, and when we first met, she made it known she was here and sticking around so no need to try to weed her out. She’s a tough cookie and takes a lot from the family. She tells us to fuck off when she wants to but is so incredibly loving.”
“Sounds a lot like someone I know.” Hayden tugs on the strand of hair he’s playing with.
“I guess we are a lot alike. What about you? Who’s your favorite brother?”
Before he answers, he eyes me up and down. “Does this stay in the vault?”
“The vault?”
“Yeah”—he nods—“the vault. Does this stay between us and only us? Once the words are uttered out of my mouth, you have to keep them to yourself, locked up in the vault.”
“Ah, I see. You don’t want me telling your brothers you have a favorite.”
“Exactly. Because, believe it or not, they’d never let me live it down, and that is something I really don’t want to live through. They know me as loving them equally, just like all parents apparently love their children equally.”
“Load of crock.” I tap his knee and lean forward as if telling a secret. “My dad says I’m by far his favorite, which makes complete sense because my sister has always been quiet and at times aloof, independent, and of course, all my brothers are numbskulls. But when it comes to my mom”—I shake my head in disappointment—“Shane is her favorite.”
“Shane?”
“Middle kid. He’s her project.”
“What do you mean by that?” A small chuckle pops out of that enticing mouth of his.
“Starting as a teenager, he’s always been ‘lost’ and my mom has made it her mission to help him find his way.”