by Pam Howes
‘I will. Thanks, gel.’ He’d given her a peck on the cheek and a hug and hurried on his way.
* * *
Alice felt her head had hardly touched the pillow before Cathy was clambering on her bed the next morning, excitement in her big brown eyes.
‘Come on, Mammy. Let’s see if he’s been.’
Alice had groaned. All she wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry. It hardly felt like five minutes since last Christmas morning, when Terry was here and they’d opened their gifts in front of a roaring fire. But she had crawled out of bed and discovered that Brian had already crept downstairs and had the fire going and a pot of tea brewed. He was doing his best to be the man of the house and she plastered on a brave smile for him and sat down on the sofa to watch Cathy tearing the wrapping paper from her gifts. Alice opened hers and, amongst them, was delighted to find a little blue bottle of Soir de Paris in Jack’s parcel, and a beautiful red and cream silk headscarf from Arnold and Winnie.
* * *
‘Are you okay, Alice?’ Her mother-in-law’s voice broke her thoughts.
Alice nodded. ‘Just feel a little out of sorts. My head’s not really in the place it should be.’
‘That’s understandable, love. I feel the same. Brian, when you’ve finished eating, help me clear the table and then you and Cathy can open that compendium of games I gave you.’
‘I’ll only play with her if she doesn’t cheat,’ Brian teased, pulling on his little niece’s pigtails.
Cathy stuck out her bottom lip. ‘That’s mean. I don’t cheat.’
Brian laughed. ‘Yeah, you do.’
Alice got to her feet before they started arguing. ‘Behave, you two. Do you mind if I go and sit in the lounge?’
‘Not at all. Off you go and I’ll bring you a nice cuppa through when I’ve finished washing up,’ Granny replied.
Alice sat down on the sofa in the festively decorated room and let her head fall back against a cushion. The scent of the pine tree in the bay window made tears tumble down her cheeks. Every anniversary, birthday or Christmas Day would be difficult to get through. She’d been doing so well up to today. People had told her it would get easier given time, but how? So many women had been widowed by the war and they just had to get on with it. At least she’d had her Terry back for nine months, a privilege denied to many others. She’d always treasure her memories of those few precious months.
Granny Lomax came into the room with a tray of tea and mince pies. She put the tray down on the coffee table, fished an envelope from her skirt pocket and handed it to Alice.
‘It’s what’s left of the policies I cashed in after Terry’s death,’ she explained. ‘I settled up the funeral bills, and thought the rest would help you out over the next few months. I’ve been meaning to give it to you for a while, but there never seemed to be the right time. It’s not a lot, but it might come in useful.’
Alice stared at the envelope and then at Granny Lomax. She peered inside and took a deep breath. There were six five-pound notes folded together. Thirty pounds. A small fortune that would see her through the winter months for extra coal and making sure the kids were warmly dressed. It would be a huge help.
‘Thank you so much. But are you sure?’
Granny nodded. ‘Your need is greater than mine, Alice.’
‘I don’t know what to say. It’s a lovely surprise and it will certainly help us through the next few months. Thank you.’ Alice felt overwhelmed. Granny had spent a lot of money on presents for the kids and had given Alice a new pink sweater and some silk stockings. She’d been more than generous. All Alice had been able to afford for a gift was a box of ladies’ embroidered hankies, but they’d been received with good grace and enthusiasm and Alice knew they’d be used. Granny always liked a fresh hanky in her handbag each day.
‘Why don’t the three of you come for tea tomorrow? We can have the left-over turkey and I’ll make a trifle.’
Alice chewed her lip. ‘Er, why don’t you come to us? We’ve got Sadie and Gianni coming for tea, and, erm, Jack is popping in too.’ No point in not telling her because he would be there, Alice was certain.
Granny pursed her lips. ‘I’ll leave it, thank you. I can’t sit in the same room as that man, especially not this year, and at Christmas too. I’m surprised at you, Alice.’ She got to her feet and walked out of the lounge, leaving Alice’s thoughts in turmoil.
She couldn’t do right for doing wrong. But Jack would be all alone if she hadn’t invited him. And he was her friend, after all. He’d looked after her and it was the least she could do.
* * *
Alice, Jack and Sadie sat around the dining table, drinking sherry and chatting comfortably, while the children played games in the front room with Brian. Before Jack had arrived, Alice had told Sadie about her little windfall and how Granny Lomax had refused to come for tea because Jack was invited.
‘I felt really bad,’ Alice said. ‘Especially as she’d just given me the envelope of money.’
Sadie sighed. ‘It can’t be helped. One day she’ll realise that Jack wasn’t to blame for Terry’s death. But for now she needs to put the blame on someone. Don’t worry, Alice. She’ll get her head around it eventually.’
Alice nodded and threw some coal on the fire. ‘Maybe.’
Jack had arrived just after five o’clock with three small Rowntrees selection boxes for the children, who’d whooped with delight as he’d produced them from behind his back.
‘Thank God for my mate who works down at the docks,’ he’d whispered to Alice as she let him in. ‘Couldn’t come empty-handed and, with no shops open, I had a dilemma.’
Alice laughed as he dropped a kiss on her cheek. ‘They’ll be thrilled to bits. I’ve never seen so much chocolate in one place since before rationing started. Thank you so much, Jack. It’s very thoughtful of you to go dashing around to find something for them.’
‘My pleasure, gel,’ he’d said, reaching into an inside jacket pocket and producing a bottle of sherry. ‘For the ladies.’
‘So, what plans do you gels have for the next year?’ Jack asked now, raising a toast to the three of them.
Sadie shrugged. ‘Keep applying for library jobs and saving a bit each week to get me and Gianni a little place of our own.’
Alice shook her head. ‘I’m too scared to make plans. After the last year I’ve had, just to get through each week will be enough. As long as I can keep the roof over our heads and food in the kids’ bellies, that will be enough for me. Brian’s got a busy few months coming up with all his studying for his mid-year exams. And then if he passes, I’ll worry about that when the time comes. It’ll just be work, work, work for me, I’m afraid.’
‘Well, me and Sadie will always be there for you, gel, you know that,’ Jack said, patting Alice’s hand. ‘As will all your friends. You only have to ask if you need anything.’
Alice smiled and raised her glass. ‘To good friends who’ve never let me down. Thanks for always being there for me.’
9
July 1947
One Saturday morning, halfway through July, Alice picked up an official-looking envelope from the mat behind the door and felt a little thrill go through her, mixed with apprehension at what it might contain.
‘Brian,’ she called up the stairs. ‘I think it’s here.’
The sound of a door being flung open and footsteps thundering on the stairs broke the silence and Brian hurtled into the back sitting room, his brown hair standing on end and sleep in his blue eyes. Alice had placed the envelope on the table. She pointed to it and his eyes opened wide.
‘Go on,’ she urged. ‘Don’t keep us in suspense any longer. I can’t bear it.’
Brian chewed his lip and tore at the envelope with shaking hands. He removed a sheet of paper and stared at it, his anxious face relaxing into a wide smile.
‘Oh my God! I’ve done it, our Alice. I’ve passed the School Certificate. I’ve got credits in all five of my subjects.’
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Alice’s eyes filled and she pulled him into her arms. ‘Oh, well done, Brian. I am so proud of you. I know Mam, Dad and Rodney would be too if they were here.’
‘And Terry,’ he said, his voice husky.
‘Well that goes without saying, my love.’
‘Granny Lomax will be chuffed to bits as well,’ he said as a sleepy Cathy shuffled down the stairs on her bottom and slunk into the room. ‘I’ve passed my exams, Cathy,’ he said, scooping her up and waltzing her around the room.
She stared at him as he put her down. ‘Is that good? Do we get a present for it? Can I have my chucky egg now, Mammy?’
Alice rolled her eyes and laughed. ‘I suppose so. And it’s Brian who should get a present, not you, Madam.’
After breakfast, once Brian and Cathy had left to go and tell Granny Lomax the good news, Alice took a pad and pen from the kitchen drawer and started to jot down figures. Brian’s passing his exams was great news, but meant an extra financial headache in that he would now stay on at school for a two further years to take his Higher School Certificate, which could potentially lead to him gaining a university place in two years’ time. It was what she wanted for him more than anything, and she knew it was what he wanted too. But financing it was the problem. Even with her extra hours at work, they were more than on the breadline.
The thirty pounds she’d received from Granny Lomax last Christmas had been very useful in helping to pay the bills for the last few months, but now it was almost gone and she was struggling more than ever to make ends meet. Brian would need books and all sorts and the cost was out of her reach. Granny Lomax would no doubt offer to help a little, but although Alice had tried to remain friendly with her since the first time she went out with Jack, the close bond she and her ex-mother-in-law had shared in the past was no longer as strong as it used to be. Brian wasn’t a blood relative of Granny’s and she was under no obligation to help.
Alice chewed the end of her pen as the figures she’d written down swam before her eyes. They simply wouldn’t balance. But by hook or by crook her brother was going to stay on at grammar school and eventually become a teacher or a professor or whatever. She would never let him throw his future away, no matter how hard she had to work. There must be a way, but God only knew what and how. She would talk to Jack tomorrow when they went out for the day, see what he thought. Cathy was spending Sunday with Granny, as had become the usual pattern lately, and Brian was going out with his pals to the boating lake at Sefton Park. Jack was borrowing Arnold’s car for the day and he’d asked Alice if she fancied a trip to Blackpool with him. She’d agreed. She’d not had a proper break since taking the kids to New Brighton last year, so a nice day out was something to really look forward to. They’d rung Jimmy’s parents’ house from the Legion’s phone and he and Millie were going to meet up with them. Alice was looking forward to catching up with her friend again.
* * *
‘I’m not sure how I’m going to manage,’ Alice told Jack as they sat side by side on two deckchairs on the crowded sands in Blackpool. The day was hot and she slathered her arms and neck in Nivea cream and made Jack put some on his face to protect the area of scarring on his right cheek. A tram tooted loudly, passing behind them on the promenade on its way to the south pier. Millie and Jimmy were due to join them in half an hour and the foursome planned to have fish and chips in a little café on the prom.
‘But I’ve got to do it somehow,’ Alice continued, pulling the straps of her blue and white floral sundress back up onto her shoulders. ‘Brian has worked so hard for this. I can’t fail him now.’
Jack nodded. ‘I agree. He’s a good kid and he deserves to do well, but you can only do for him what you can afford to do, chuck. He’s a very lucky lad to have a big sister like you looking after him. Without you he’d no doubt have been shoved in an orphanage long ago.’
‘I know, and I’ve done my best. But the cost of the bills keeps going up and up and food is getting more expensive. They both eat like horses. School uniforms cost a packet. I’ve got to admit it; I’m really struggling at the moment, Jack.’ Her voice wavered and she sniffed back a tear.
Jack stared at a seagull swooping and calling above their heads, before diving into the sea for food. He lit a cigarette and blew a cloud of smoke in the air.
‘You know what I think you should do?’
‘No, what?’
‘Have a serious think about getting married again. It would make your life a whole lot easier.’
Alice stared at him as though he’d gone mad. ‘Married again? Don’t be so blooming daft, Jack. Terry’s only been gone sixteen months. And anyway, married to who? Who’d be mad enough to want to take on two kids and me?’
Jack looked at her and frowned. ‘Do you really need to ask that, Alice? We’ve been getting closer over the last few months and I love being with you. After all this time, you must know how I feel about you, surely? And you also know that Terry wouldn’t have wanted you to struggle on your own forever.’
Alice’s jaw dropped and she stared at him. ‘Jack Dawson, are you pulling my leg here, or are you actually trying to propose to me?’
‘I guess I must be, gel, proposing, that is.’ He dropped onto the sand and tried to balance on one knee, but his lame foot wouldn’t hold him up and he grabbed her arm to save himself from falling over, but ended up by pulling her down with him, laughing helplessly as her face broke into a wide grin. ‘Well, that’s made a bugger of that!’ he said.
Alice giggled until her sides ached. Her arms were covered in sand that had stuck to the cream she’d put on.
‘Oh, Jack, what are you like? I don’t know what to say.’
‘You could try saying yes,’ he teased.
‘Well, yes. I would love to marry you. But we’ve only been casually seeing each other, I didn’t realise you had proper feelings for me. We’ve only had the odd few kisses. I mean, I know we’ve been best friends for ages, and you’re always there for me, but you might not like me that much if we were to get married.’
‘Alice, shut up wittering, woman, and give us a proper kiss right now.’
Alice melted into his arms and Jack held her tight as they shared a passionate kiss that went on for ages. She came up for air and looked into his eyes, shocked by the intensity of the feelings she had just experienced.
‘Do you still want to marry me?’ she whispered. ‘I mean, do you love me?’
Jack smiled and kissed her again. ‘What do you think? And what about you, do you have feelings for me?’
‘Well, you’ve taken me by surprise… but yes, of course I have feelings for you, Jack. I can’t imagine a life without you in it now.’ Alice wasn’t sure if her feelings amounted to love just yet, but she really couldn’t imagine not having Jack in her life. Maybe love would grow as time went on.
‘There you go then. I know I’m not the most romantic bloke in the world, but we might as well be together as apart.’ He looked up as someone called their names, and waved at Millie and Jimmy, who were making their way across the sands to join them. ‘We can have a chippy tea celebration with this pair.’
‘We got an earlier tram,’ Millie said. ‘Why are you two on the floor?’ She eyed them curiously as she and Jimmy drew level. ‘You’ve got sand all over your arms, Alice. And were you just kissing one another?’
‘Aye,’ Jack said, taking a towel from the carrier bag between the deckchairs and handing it to Alice. ‘We were. Shall I tell them, or will you?’ he directed at Alice.
She smiled and rubbed at her arms. Millie knew she’d had the odd night out with Jack, but Alice had always kept things close to her chest because she didn’t think Jack was serious.
‘You can tell them,’ she said.
‘Alice has just agreed to marry me,’ Jack said, grinning from ear to ear.
‘What?’ Millie squealed and dropped to her knees. ‘Oh my God.’ She gave Alice a big hug and Jack a kiss on the cheek. Jimmy shook his hand and gave Alice a kiss
.
‘Congratulations, both of you,’ Millie said, beaming. ‘I can’t believe it. Now that means we have two things to celebrate.’
‘Two things?’ Alice frowned, shaking sand off the towel and then rubbing at her arms again. ‘God, this is worse than being sandpapered.’
Millie nodded while Jimmy smiled. ‘I’m pregnant,’ she said, grinning. ‘Two months. And because of that we’ve decided we’re not going to Canada after all.’
Alice flung her arms around her friend and burst into tears. ‘Oh, I’m so happy for you, and also I’m really glad that you’re not going to Canada.’
‘So are my mam and dad,’ Millie said. ‘As soon as I found out a baby was on the way I realised I couldn’t do it to them. They’ve only got me, and this will be their first grandchild. It would be cruel to deprive them of seeing it growing up and it would be such a long way for them to travel at their ages too.’
Jimmy nodded his agreement. ‘We’re going to move back to Liverpool, so Millie can be near her parents. There’s a lot of rebuilding going on in the city. I’m sure I’ll get fixed up with a bricklayer’s job easily enough. We’re moving in with Millie’s mam and dad next week but one for now, but if you hear of any little houses going for sale or to rent in or around the Lark Lane area, will you let us know?’
‘There’s nothing at the moment, but I’ll keep my eyes open,’ Alice said, thrilled with the events of the day, and how everything was looking so rosy for them all.
‘There are a lot of new estates being built by the corporation, Jimmy,’ Jack said. ‘They’re crying out for skilled brickies. You’ll get fixed up right away.’ He got to his feet and brushed sand from his smart flannel trousers. ‘I think we’ve had enough of the beach today. Let’s go and celebrate all our good news with a nice fish and chip tea.’