by Pam Howes
The blue toothbrush Jack had used was in the holder and Alice felt tears springing to her eyes again. It was Terry’s brush, and she just hadn’t had the heart to remove it. She couldn’t believe that Jack had thought it was one she’d bought for him. She’d just assumed he’d bring his own and a change of clothes, but he’d come empty-handed. She felt suddenly overwhelmed, and sat down on the side of the bath and burst into tears.
‘Terry, why did you leave me?’ she wailed. ‘Now I’ve got all these responsibilities to deal with and I have to marry Jack just to make ends meet. I hate that damn bloody bike for taking you away.’
She knew she was being melodramatic now and pulled herself together, beginning to fill the bath. She didn’t have to marry Jack at all; she was doing it because she wanted to marry him.
She looked at her bare left hand with no wedding and eternity rings and blinked away more threatening tears. Her head was banging, she felt a bit sickly, and the last thing she wanted to do today was go and see Granny Lomax. But it had to be done. She turned the bath taps off and tipped some bubble bath into the water. A good soak, as hot as she could stand it, would help and by her reckoning it was a safe enough time in her monthly cycle. Hopefully she’d be fine, but it didn’t stop her feeling worried.
* * *
Granny Lomax handed Alice a mug of tea and a small plate with a buttered scone. Cathy was outside playing in the garden. Alice put the plate down on the coffee table and tried to keep her left hand by her side. Damn, she’d intended to slip her rings back on when she came here, but her mind was all over the place and she’d forgotten. Her ringless finger hadn’t gone unnoticed.
‘Hmm,’ Granny snorted. ‘It didn’t take you long to take my Terry’s rings off, did it?’ she said, a catch in her voice.
Alice chewed her lip and stared at the floor. ‘It’s not appropriate that I wear them now I’m marrying Jack,’ she muttered. ‘He, er, he didn’t like it.’
‘I bet he didn’t.’ Granny sipped her tea and stared at Alice over the top of her mug. ‘But you’re not married yet so it could have waited, surely. For Cathy’s sake if nothing else. That poor little mite has been very unsettled this weekend, and,’ she lowered her voice, although Cathy was nowhere in sight, ‘she wet the bed last night. That’s not like her. She’s fretting and she’s unhappy and she seemed scared to me when I mentioned Jack’s name.’
Alice sighed. ‘I’m sorry. Would you like me to take the bedding home and wash it?’
‘It’s already on the line, drying. I’ve tried to get her to talk, but she just clams up.’
‘Talk about what?’ Alice asked, stiffening. ‘She’s fine. Stop making out there’s a problem. It’ll take a while for her to get to know Jack, and he’s not used to kiddies, but he’s doing his best. Making her supper and reading her bedtime stories.’
Granny pursed her lips. ‘I’m just telling you that I sense something is wrong. I don’t want you to marry that man.’
Alice slammed down her empty mug. They’d be going around in circles forever at this rate. ‘And I’m just telling you that if I don’t sell my house and move in with Jack, Brian will have to leave school and get a job. I can’t cope on my own any longer. It’s not easy for any of us, but it is happening. I know you think you mean well, but I’ll thank you to keep your nose out of my business. Tomorrow Jack and I will be putting in the banns for our marriage. By the end of August we will be man and wife and living at the club as soon as the house sale goes through. Millie and Jimmy will be living there.’
Alice took a deep breath. Might as well as get it over now that she was on her high horse. ‘And from tomorrow, Marlene will be looking after Cathy. Now I’m doing all the extra hours at Lewis’s I feel it’s too much for you. Marlene’s fitter and younger and hopefully I will soon be working full time if I can get it.’
This wasn’t all strictly true, but she would ask for further hours if Jack was in agreement and didn’t need her to work on the bar. The more money coming in the better, so they could all enjoy a nice comfortable lifestyle and never have to worry about money again.
A crimson flush appeared on Granny’s cheeks and she jumped to her feet, her hands shaking.
‘I knew this would happen now you’ve got involved with that man. Taking my only grandchild away from me. She’s all I’ve got left of my Terry. After everything I’ve done for you and your family, this is how you repay me. I didn’t think you had it in you to be so cruel, Alice.’
Alice chewed her lip. She hadn’t meant it to come out the way she’d said it. Her words had sounded harsh, even to her own ears.
‘I didn’t mean you can’t see Cathy at all. It’s just that if I work full-time hours, Marlene can cover them with no problem. I can bring Cathy here every Sunday afternoon to see you. And you are always welcome to come and visit us at the Legion at any time.’
Granny shook her head. ‘I will not be setting foot in any establishment run by Jack Dawson. I can assure you of that.’
Alice nodded. ‘It’s up to you, but it’s Cathy’s birthday at the end of August and we’ll be having a little party for her. We’d like to see you there, at the house, that is. We won’t be moving out until September at the earliest. I doubt Jack will be there as he’ll be working, it being a weekend afternoon.’
Granny drew a deep breath. ‘We?’ she said. ‘When you say we won’t be moving does this mean that man is already living under your roof? Before you are legally married?’
Alice could feel her cheeks heating. ‘No, of course he’s not. By we, I mean Brian, me and Cathy. Jack visits us, but he’s not living with us.’
‘Hmm. Yet. I suppose it’s only a matter of time.’
Alice got to her feet. ‘I’d better go. Brian will be home soon. I’ve got things to do. Shall we see you next Sunday then?’
Granny nodded. Alice called for Cathy to come inside. Her daughter ran into the lounge, pigtails flying out behind her and smelling of fresh air and grass. ‘Say goodbye to Granny. Give her a kiss.’
‘Bye bye, Granny. See you tomorrow,’ Cathy said, throwing herself at Granny’s legs.
Granny’s agonised sob was more than Alice could bear and she grabbed Cathy’s hand and pulled her towards the door, mouthing over the top of her head, ‘I’ll tell her when I get her home.’
She marched swiftly towards Lark Lane, dragging a protesting Cathy by the hand.
‘Why is Granny crying?’ Cathy said. ‘Let’s go back and love her better.’
‘We have to get home. I’ve got to cook a dinner and Brian will be back soon as well. And, er, Jack is coming on his way to work to have something to eat with us.’
Cathy stopped dead and stamped her feet. She snatched her hand from Alice’s and folded her arms across her chest. ‘I’m going back to Granny’s. I don’t want Jack to come round. He’s a nasty man.’
‘Cathy, now enough of that nonsense. Has Granny been saying something to you about Jack?’
Cathy clamped her lips together and glowered at her mother from beneath a thick fringe that needed a trim. ‘I’m not telling you. It’s a secret.’
Alice sighed wearily. ‘Right, well I’m going. So you either come with me or you stay there.’ She walked slowly away, knowing that eventually Cathy would follow her.
* * *
Cathy’s lips trembled as she watched her mammy walking slowly down the road. She felt torn between wanting to go home with her and going back to see if her granny was okay. She wondered why Granny had cried. Something had made her sad. Maybe it was because Cathy had wet the bed last night and it had upset her. But she couldn’t help it. She had dreamed a nasty dream where Jack Dawson was dragging her by the arm to the big house on the road near where he lived. He said she was a very bad girl and nobody wanted her so she was being taken to live at the naughty girls’ home, just like he’d threatened the other day. He told her she could never come home again and he and her mammy would have lots more children to love instead of her. Cathy told him she ne
eded the lavvy but he ignored her and she’d wet herself and then woken up screaming in bed at her granny’s house and then Granny was there cuddling her and telling her not to worry. Granny had asked her if she was worried or frightened about something. But she’d said no. Because she knew that Jack would send her away if she told Granny anything about him and what he’d said to her, and then her dream would come true. She wiped her eyes on her cardigan sleeve and shouted, ‘Mammy.’
Alice turned around and held out her arms. Cathy hurtled towards her and the pair walked home hand in hand.
* * *
There was no sign of Brian as Jack let himself in and hung his jacket on the hall stand. He popped his head around the front room door, where Cathy was playing hospitals with her dollies on the rug.
‘Hiya, gel,’ he said quietly and smiled with satisfaction as she looked terrified and shrank back against the chair. Good, he’d soon have the little madam under control. ‘Where’s your mammy?’
‘In-in the kitchen,’ Cathy stammered.
‘Right, well you stay there then and don’t you come out until she calls you.’ Satisfied that she’d not move until told to, he closed the door and walked into the kitchen, where Alice was running water into the sink. Lids were clattering on top of the boiling pans on the stove so no wonder she hadn’t heard him come in.
‘Boo,’ he said, coming up behind her and slipping his arms around her waist. ‘How’s my gorgeous gel, then?’
‘Oh, Jack, I didn’t know you were here,’ she said, turning in his arms. He held her tight and kissed her. ‘Careful, Cathy might see us.’
‘She won’t,’ he whispered, nuzzling her neck. ‘She’s playing at nurses with her dolls in the front room. Proper engrossed in her game, she is. I just had a little chat with her and she’s happy enough.’
‘Oh, well Brian’s due back at any minute. In fact, he’s later than I was expecting him.’
He frowned and squeezed her tight. ‘Playing hard to get, gel? Thought you’d be ready for a repeat performance by now. Sooner that ring’s on your finger the better.’
‘Er, no, I’m not playing hard to get, but I’m trying to cook a meal and, well…’
‘I’m teasing,’ Jack said, laughing. ‘You’ll get used to my sense of humour in time. Ah, there’s the front door. That’ll be Brian. I’ll go and help him with his stuff while you carry on in here.’ He released her from his grip and left the kitchen. ‘How you doing, Brian?’ he greeted the young lad, who beamed at him. ‘Had a good time?’
‘Very, thank you. I’ve fished and rowed a boat and we walked for miles. It was lovely. The Peak District, they call it. You should take our Alice there for an afternoon out one day.’
‘Maybe I will,’ Jack said. He liked the lad. Keep Brian sweet and on his side and he wouldn’t go far wrong. ‘I’ve been thinking, when we move into the Legion, and you’ve finished your homework for the night, you can do a bit of pot collecting to earn a few bob. How does that sound?’
‘Smashing. I was hoping you might suggest that. I would have asked you anyway.’
‘Good. Me and you are going to get on just great, lad.’
16
Jack met Alice from work on Monday afternoon. He greeted her with a kiss and she was glad to see that he’d made an effort and was clean and presentable with a shirt and tie on and no trace of alcohol on his breath. All she could smell was his lovely Old Spice shaving soap.
The pair made their way to Mount Pleasant registry office, where they spoke to a woman on reception. She filled in the forms with them and then told them the banns would be put up that day. She booked their wedding at a cost of seven and sixpence, for the licence. The date was set for Saturday August 30th at two o’clock. Alice felt uncomfortable that Jack had decided this was the best place for them. He wasn’t religious so had told her he didn’t want a church wedding, and she wasn’t too sure that she would have even qualified for one either, with her having been married before. But, although Jack probably had no idea, as it had never been mentioned, Mount Pleasant was where she’d married Terry in 1940. The memories came flooding back as she stood waiting in the reception area with Jack. The air raid siren had sounded as soon as they were married and they’d spent the first two hours of their married life in the nearby shelter. All they’d had was the one precious night together and that had been it for over five years until Terry had come home. She mentally shook herself and tuned in to what Jack was saying as they left the building. It wouldn’t do for him to know where her thoughts had been.
‘Let’s go and celebrate with a quick drink in the Phil,’ he suggested, grabbing her hand and leading her in the direction of the Philharmonic pub on Hope Street. ‘Also, we need to get you a wedding ring. I could do with a new suit too. Not had one for years and this one is too shabby for getting wed in. We’ll make a list. I’ve a bit of money put by that I was saving for the bond, but I won’t need that now you’re paying it with the house sale money, so we can use my money for stuff for the wedding.’
‘Well, if you don’t mind,’ Alice said. ‘I don’t have a spare penny until we get the house money. Shall we have this drink, then get the tram back to Aigburth and tell Arnold and Winnie we’ve booked a date? We also need to call in on the way back and see that solicitor on Lark Lane that Arnold recommended. I’ve got all the house deeds and papers in my handbag ready.’
‘Sounds like a good plan, gel.’
* * *
Arnold and Winnie hugged the pair of them as Alice and Jack told them their latest news.
‘We’ve set the ball in motion for the house sale as well,’ Alice said, smiling.
‘We went to see the solicitor on the way back here,’ Jack told them. ‘Because it’s just the one house with no hold-ups it will go through very quickly. You can start packing now, Winnie.’
‘And I will, my love,’ Winnie said, beaming. ‘Oh, I’m that happy for the pair of you. He’s a good lad, you know, Alice. Just needs a bit of taming and looking after. I’m sure he’ll look after you and you’ll both be very happy.’
Alice grinned as Arnold handed her a glass of sherry and raised a toast. At this rate she’d be tiddly by the time Marlene brought Cathy home. Jack had insisted she have a large sherry in the Phil and this one was large too. Drinking in the afternoon was not something she was used to. And she had an empty stomach. But she felt quite mellow and relaxed and also happy. Jack had been in a really great mood all afternoon and she knew for certain that marrying him was the right thing to do. Not just because it would make life a whole lot easier financially, but because she loved him and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
‘Now, me and Winnie will put on a buffet here for you as our wedding present,’ Arnold said. ‘We’ll do the cake, the lot. We want you to have the best start possible and it will be our pleasure to do it. Jack’s been like a son to us and it’s only fitting that we should do for him what we would have done if we’d had a lad of our own.’
Winnie nodded her agreement. ‘It’ll be the finest wedding party this club’s ever seen. All you two need to do is turn up, dressed for the part.’
Alice laughed. ‘Oh, and we will. But you will come to the registry office first to see us taking our vows, won’t you? We have no parents between us, so it would be lovely if you can be there.’
‘Of course we’ll be there,’ Winnie said.
* * *
‘What time is Marlene bringing Cathy back?’ Jack asked as he and Alice walked home hand in hand up Lark Lane.
‘She said she’d give her some tea when her lot gets in from work,’ Alice replied. ‘And then bring her back about half six-ish. I told her I wasn’t too sure how long we’d be out for this afternoon.’
‘And Brian? What time is he usually in?’
‘He’s having his tea at his pal’s today and then they’re going straight to the lads’ club boxing session at the church hall. He’ll be back about seven.’
Jack pulled her close and whispered,
‘So I’ve got you all to myself for a good hour, gel. Good, cos I’m feeling hungry.’
Alice nodded. ‘Shall I get something nice for our tea from the bakery? Perhaps a nice potato and meat pie?’
‘Not that sort of hungry,’ he said, grinning and pulling her along.
‘Jack Dawson, you’re insatiable.’
‘It has been said before. But you’re the only one for me now, Alice.’
As they laughed and held hands, turning the corner into Lucerne Street, they bumped right into Granny Lomax. She stopped dead in her tracks. Alice gasped and tried to free her hand from Jack’s but he held on tight and stared at Granny.
‘Alice,’ Granny snapped. ‘I wanted to talk to you. But I see you’re busy.’
‘Er, yes,’ Alice mumbled, feeling her cheeks heating as Jack dug his fingernails into her palm. ‘We, er, we have things to discuss.’
‘And where is Cathy?’
‘With Marlene. She’ll be back later.’
‘And Brian?’
‘He’s having tea at his friend’s.’
‘I see. Well, what I have to say won’t take long. I was hoping to find you on your own. Could I perhaps come in for a minute if he’s going?’
‘Listen, Missus,’ Jack butted in, annoyed that his bit of time alone with Alice was under threat. ‘I’m going nowhere. Whatever you want will have to wait. I need to get back to work shortly and Alice and I have some private stuff to sort out first. Why don’t you come back tomorrow when she’s got more time? You can see the kiddies then as well.’