by Suzanne Snow
‘Annie, how lovely to see you.’
‘Oh hi, Emma,’ Annie said awkwardly, shuffling from foot to foot. ‘Sorry to bother you. I was just trying to catch up with Jon. Do you know where I might find him?’
She saw Emma hesitate, and knew immediately that bad news was to follow. ‘I’m sorry,’ Emma replied uncomfortably, her smile fading until it became a tiny frown. ‘Didn’t he tell you?’
‘Tell me what?’ Annie forced the words out, her voice a frightened murmur as she thought of him hurt somewhere, or beyond her reach for hours on a long and difficult rescue.
‘He decided to catch an earlier flight and left for Ireland last night.’
Shocked, Annie’s spirits plummeted to her feet, hardly able to believe that he had really left her without saying goodbye. He had made no promises, and the realisation that he’d hurried to Niamh earlier than planned left her feeling winded. Everything seemed suddenly very clear in the light of the choice he had made. She felt dizzy, the recollection of having been here before trying to snatch away her composure as she made an unsteady turn for the door.
‘Are you all right?’
Annie halted as she felt Emma’s hand on her arm, and the glance she threw the older woman was swift. ‘Yes, thank you. I’m surprised, that’s all.’
‘Ring him.’ Emma spoke almost pleadingly, the urgency of her words reflected in the fingers tightening on Annie’s arm. ‘I promise I won’t interfere but whatever it is, I really think you should ring him.’
‘I’ll think about it.’ Annie knew she would probably do little else as Emma’s hand slipped away and they said goodbye. She returned to her car, her mind spinning with thoughts of the future and whether she could remain in Thorndale, feeling as she did. Jon’s life was rooted here now whereas hers had only just begun to flourish, so much of it bound up in him.
Annie had the perfect excuse to call him, or at least text, a couple of hours later when Arthur Middleton turned up with a trailer of neatly chopped logs ready for autumn. She insisted on helping him cart them around the back of the cottage, and when they’d finished stacking them, she made him a cup of tea. She enjoyed listening to him talking about the estate, but part of her knew that she wanted to prolong any kind of contact with Jon, however pointless. When Arthur was about to leave, he looked at her knowingly and told her if she needed anything at all, she was to come straight to him. Almost tearfully she thanked him, and he gently informed her he was following the instructions Jon had given him before he left. He smiled as he explained he wasn’t really supposed to tell her that.
On Tuesday morning Annie was feeling more lost and uncertain than ever, and after a bath, she decided to go and see how Sam was, hoping it wasn’t too early. As she walked through the village, she saw Cara, sharing a drink on the green with Nathan. She waved to them when Nathan caught her eye and he gave her a quick grin, and she thought how lovely it was to see them together. The vicarage was dozing in warm sunlight when she arrived, and she knocked gently in case Sam was resting. Moments later her doubts were dismissed when Sam opened the door.
‘Hey, you.’ Sam’s face lit up, one hand resting casually on her bump as she stepped aside. ‘Come in. How are you?’
‘I’m fine,’ Annie said blithely, not at all sure how much Sam knew about her and Jon. ‘You look so much better, Sam. I’m really glad. I wasn’t sure you would be up and about.’
Annie saw Sam smile over her shoulder as she followed her through the house. ‘Come into the sitting room. It’s cooler in there,’ Sam said. ‘I’m lots better, thank you. The rest seems to be working. My blood pressure’s gone down, and the midwife is happier now. And I really want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Charlie was dreading having to go shopping for breast pumps and maternity bras.’
Annie grinned as she tried to imagine Charlie scuttling around a supermarket choosing disposable maternity knickers. ‘My pleasure, I was just glad to help out.’ They settled into comfortable chairs and Annie saw the direct look in Sam’s eyes as she shrank back into her seat. Annie knew what that questioning gaze meant and she spoke first. ‘Where is he?’
‘Over at the hospital in town. He’s been called away to see someone taken ill unexpectedly, but thankfully it’s not serious. Would you like tea or a coffee?’
‘No, thanks.’ Annie curled her legs underneath her, trying not to fidget as she avoided Sam watching her steadily and searching for the right moment to speak.
‘Annie, you’re not really fine, are you?’ Sam asked gently. ‘You can tell me to mind my own business if you prefer but I’ll listen if you’d like to talk. Is it Jon?’
Annie nodded sadly and gave Sam a grateful smile that quickly faded. She glanced out at the shady garden, wondering where to begin, sighing quietly. ‘The evening away didn’t go very well. I finally realised I was letting myself imagine that he was more serious about me than he actually is. And I said something which got out of hand and gave a few people the wrong impression. He wasn’t pleased.’
‘The engagement?’
‘Yes.’ So, Jon had told Sam and Charlie too, and Annie began to think that perhaps he’d already informed the whole village just in case the news had spread and people were ready to offer misplaced congratulations. A wave of horror shot over her as she wondered if Sir Vivian and Emma knew, too.
‘Annie, nobody else knows, don’t worry. Jon came to see us on Sunday before he left.’ Sam paused. ‘Are you certain of what you feel for him?’
Annie smiled, trying to hide the trace of bitterness and regret as their eyes met, and nodded slowly. ‘I love him, Sam. I didn’t mean to, but I do.’
‘Oh, Annie, love. I knew it.’ Sam climbed off the sofa to wrap her arms around Annie, her eyes strangely warm as Annie hugged her back. They let go as she sniffed, and Sam retreated to her seat to make herself comfortable again.
‘But I don’t think he wants to be committed to anything else.’ Annie’s voice was a whisper now, her gaze somewhere else. ‘I might not be able to have children, and I can’t cling on like before, knowing that he does eventually. I knew the moment I met him this could happen, and I don’t want to have to pretend it means nothing to me. It’s better to be apart.’
‘Have you asked Jon how he feels?’
Surprised, Annie glanced up to meet Sam’s look again. ‘No. I think I know, and I really don’t want to make him say it. It would never work between us anyway, we lead such different lives. He has the estate and Kilnbeck to run, he’s busy with the fell rescue, and eventually he’s going to be a baronet. I’m just a schoolteacher. How would I ever keep up or be able to support him?’
Sam laughed quietly, reaching out to squeeze Annie’s hand. ‘You already are. You do it without even knowing. Annie, I’ve never seen Jon like this before. He’s so happy and content since he met you. He’s always been warm and friendly, but this is so much more, believe me. And you must realise having a title is meaningless to him and he’ll never use it. It couldn’t be less relevant to everything he considers important.’
Annie tried to suppress a sudden gleam of hope beginning to flicker, until another jolt of realisation arrived to remind her, and her reply was flat. ‘But he’s made everything quite clear. He left without even saying goodbye and went to Niamh.’
‘Annie, I’m going to tell you something that you ought to have heard from Jon.’
Annie’s eyes widened in surprise, realising she was holding her breath as Sam began to speak again. ‘He was going to ask you to go with him to Ireland. That’s why he didn’t tell you he was going away: he kept putting it off because he was afraid that you’d refuse. And after everything that happened at the party, he knew you wouldn’t go.’
‘But what about Niamh?’ Annie’s voice was a whisper, not yet able to quell the fear of a repeat of the breakup with Iain. ‘She’s single again. He’s in Belfast with her.’
‘She’s his friend, Annie. That’s it. And he might be with her in the most basic sense of the wo
rd right now, but they’ll never be together again.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Because he told us and made it very clear it was only you he wanted there with him, whatever else you’re thinking. The question is, what are you going to do about it?’
Annie felt the colour drain from her face as she listened and leapt to her feet hurriedly. ‘I have to go,’ she blurted out, glancing wildly around the room as though she could catch the first plane to soar past the window, and Sam laughed. ‘Do you know where he is?’
‘He’s at the Hilton,’ Sam said, and Annie dashed across to hug her tightly before hurrying to the door. ‘Don’t come back without him.’
Annie sprinted home through the village, her mind racing even faster than her legs as she ignored the bemused looks from the people she passed on the way. She had to fling herself into the hedge when Robert Howard roared past in his tractor, only spotting her at the very last moment. Packing a case was easy but trying to find the next available flight to Belfast without the internet wasn’t, and she was almost screaming when she finally managed to secure a seat on a plane leaving Leeds at two thirty that afternoon.
When she landed in Belfast, she found a taxi and, as the car headed into the city, she suddenly began to feel nervous as she considered the wisdom of her decision to seek Jon out. What if she was wrong? What if Sam was wrong and Jon was horrified Annie had turned up when he was all set for a reconciliation with Niamh? But Annie knew that if she accomplished nothing else, she was determined to tell him how she felt, and the knowledge that somehow she was meant to be here reassured her. She twisted her hands in her lap, praying that the journey would soon be over and she would find him.
In the hotel foyer she realized she didn’t even have a room and booked one quickly, hurrying upstairs to change. She’d barely thought about what to wear when she’d packed and pulled on a pair of jeans and a pretty lilac top. She left her hair loose, letting it tumble down her shoulders, and swiped lip-gloss across her mouth, fighting the memories of kissing Jon as she stuffed the tube into her bag. She hurriedly made her way back downstairs and the helpful man at the desk pointed her in the direction of the conference suite. She followed his instructions and soon found herself in a small dining room already prepared for coffee and biscuits. Annie gripped the door of the meeting room nervously and took a deep breath. She could hear faint voices, and she hoped to sneak quietly inside and then try and work out where Jon might be.
But then her courage evaporated, and she turned and fled away, her pulse roaring in her ears as she hurried back to reception. She hovered uncertainly, watching people come and go with simple confidence as they went about their business. She strode into the bar and ordered coffee. Perhaps if she just sat here and was patient, maybe he would eventually appear, and she could speak with him alone.
Annie noticed a few people glancing at her curiously and she tried to concentrate on a newspaper, finally pushing it away when she’d read the same page at least four times. After finishing her coffee and with still no sign of Jon, she stood up decisively. You’re being ridiculous, she told herself crossly. Just go and find him. She made her way back to the meeting room and opened the door cautiously.
At least thirty heads turned around to look when she stepped in and she paled underneath her wretched freckles. She looked over the group to the speaker and felt the colour in her face come rushing back. It was Jon. He was here. He was in the middle of a presentation, waving a mouse at a laptop nearby as a big screen behind him projected his points to the delegates. Annie had almost forgotten how tall and dark he was, and her stomach whirled into a spin. Their eyes met and he paused, suddenly looking flustered and stumbling through his next comment. She glanced around wildly for an empty seat, realising in dismay there were none to be had. One or two people were standing at the back of the room, and she sidled across to join them as Jon recovered his composure and continued.
Somebody on the back row stood up and Annie saw, with horror, that it was Niamh, looking elegant and perfectly composed in a trouser suit and heels. Appalled, Annie wondered if she were coming over to throw her out of the conference but instead Niamh took Annie’s arm and whispered, ‘Take my seat.’
Surprised, Annie stared at her as she crept past. ‘Thank you,’ she muttered. She sat down gratefully, the drama over. All the attention had reverted to Jon, and Annie waited nervously for him to finish.
After his presentation, Niamh made her way to the front and thanked Jon, explaining that refreshments were being served next door and everyone should return in ten minutes for the final session of the day. People began murmuring as they left their seats and wandered outside. Annie watched as Jon dropped the mouse onto a desk, and their eyes met again as he walked towards her. She stood up, feeling her knees begin to tremble and she clutched her hands together. This was her moment. Instead, as he neared her, all her carefully rehearsed words took flight and she blurted out the first thought in her mind.
‘I think someone sent me here on purpose,’ she said shakily as she looked into his blue eyes. ‘I don’t think I would’ve made it on my own.’ Jon was just inches away and she saw the surprise in his expression soften into warmth, giving her a sudden confidence.
He took a step nearer, reaching out a hand as though he was going to touch her. ‘Annie, I…’
‘Don’t,’ she said hurriedly, pressing herself against the chair. She was uncomfortably aware the escape for coffee had ceased and some people were hovering while they pretended not to listen. ‘Please don’t, Jon. I have something to tell you and if I don’t say it very soon I most likely never will. I know it’s probably not enough.’ Annie spoke the words hastily, her eyes never wavering from his. ‘I’m so in love with you, I’ll do anything. I want to share your life and support everything you do. I can’t help it, I’m sorry. But it’s true. I love you.’
She fell silent, his eyes widening in amazement as they stared at one another. A smile was hovering on his lips and she snatched her gaze from his, turning to make her escape. ‘I should go.’
At once his hand was on her arm, swinging her back to face him. ‘I don’t ever want to be apart from you again,’ he said roughly, pulling her against him and trapping her in his arms as he muttered into her ear. ‘Annie, I only ever tried to seem casual because I was afraid that if you knew how I really felt, you’d change your mind and decide it was happening much too fast. I’d planned to wait until the end of the summer to tell you because I guessed we wouldn’t be together if you didn’t feel something for me. I hoped by then you’d be ready to hear it.’
She knew he was speaking the truth. It was there whenever he looked at her, with playful and yet serious eyes, saying so much more with his expression than he had ever put into words. It was the one thing he couldn’t disguise, and she knew now he had never tried.
‘I’ve been in love with you since that first day at the cottage when I found you in the garden, and I seem to have spent the whole summer trying not to blurt it out and frighten you away.’
She felt him smile and pulled back to look at him incredulously as she realised what he was telling her. ‘But I don’t know if…’ She paused, her voice falling to a whisper. ‘If I’m enough, just me. What if I can’t…’
Jon’s hands went to her face, cupping her cheeks gently as he tilted her head back. ‘Whatever blessings we do or don’t have in our future, Annie, you’ll always be enough, I promise. So much more than enough and I want the life we can have together, even if it’s only ever just us.’
He lifted her chin with one finger, the heat of his adoring promise imprinted on her lips as he kissed her. And then, still holding her hands tightly, he stepped backwards, and her astonishment was complete when he bent down on one knee.
‘It’s not really the right place,’ he said with his familiar grin, and then he looked serious once more. ‘But it has to be now. I love you, Annie Armstrong, I know I always will. I want to share our lives together and for you to be my
wife. So will you marry me?’
Annie nodded immediately as tears filled her eyes, thrilled by his admission. ‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Of course I will.’
His smile returned as he leapt to his feet, lifting her up, and she wound her arms around him as they laughed together. He kissed her again and as she kissed him back, she knew with all certainty that she belonged with him. She became aware of applause nearby and he set her down gently, his arm around her waist to keep her at his side.
Niamh made her way over to them, already smiling. ‘Let me be the first to congratulate you both properly,’ she said, kissing Jon quickly on the cheek. ‘I’ve ordered champagne. I think we may as well finish for today. I don’t think anyone will have any questions after this.’
She turned to look at Annie, who blushed as she remembered the chaos of the party a few days ago.
‘It was obvious at Carrie’s party how Jon feels about you, Annie,’ Niamh said, taking Annie’s free hand and squeezing it quickly. ‘He told me before I left that he was in love with you.’
Annie’s eyes widened in surprise as she turned to look at Jon and he grinned, touching his lips to her temple as he spoke. ‘I did say I’d told everyone the truth, even though I didn’t intend for anyone else to know before you,’ he murmured dryly. ‘Carrie was the first to guess how serious I was when she knew I was bringing you with me, and when she congratulated us, my plan to eventually propose had been very publicly pre-empted. I was worried it would scare you away.’
Annie’s answer was to touch his face gently with her hand, telling him with her eyes and her simple gesture that she knew she was home now, and her heart was his. He turned his head to kiss her palm, understanding everything she meant by it. One by one people made their way over to offer congratulations and the meeting was abandoned as the champagne arrived and glasses were handed around and quickly filled.
Annie and Jon drifted away to a corner on their own and he looked at her with a grin, slipping his signet ring off and sliding it onto her ring finger. ‘This will have to do, until we get home.’ He paused. ‘Annie, darling, if you want it, I’d very much like to give you my grandmother’s engagement ring.’