by Stacey Lynn
“Sure. But maybe you should get some sleep. You look tired.”
I was exhausted. Nights with Jensen were taking me into sleep-deprivation mode. The mornings were starting earlier because he wanted a taste of me before he had to leave for work.
I wasn’t telling her that either.
“I’ll try later,” I said. I wouldn’t. I’d sleep when I was dead. Until then, I wanted Jensen to fuck me every which way he wanted.
After lunch with Gabby, then a meeting with my lawyer to discuss Timothy’s case, I was supposed to wait for Jensen to be done with work so he could take me out for dinner.
Clearly, he had no issues jumping head first into a relationship.
I was only hoping that soon, I could catch up with him.
* * *
We were in Madcup Coffee on the western edge of downtown Grand Rapids. Out our window was a park and behind that was an art museum I used to love strolling through during the long, cold winter weekends when there wasn’t much to go see or do in Denton.
I wasn’t thinking about cold winter nights or scarves or if I needed another pair of snow boots, though. No, I had clearly just dropped a bomb of epic proportions straight into Gabby’s lap. With the way she was staring at me, lips parted, ivory-colored coffee mug frozen halfway to her mouth, I briefly wondered if she would move or speak again.
“He said what?” she asked, shaking her head as if brushing off the shock.
“Well, um.” I hadn’t been nervous to talk to her. In fact, Gabby had listened to all my questions and answered them as best she could. She was sweet and friendly but had a sassy bite to her I appreciated. She’d explained all about her relationship with Dylan and how it came about and that they’d been together for seven years now. She knew Jensen well. She trusted him.
It helped me trust him, too.
So when I told her he said he didn’t just want to be my Dom, that he wanted more, I hadn’t expected her reaction.
“Haley,” she said, her voice softening as she placed her mug on the napkin in front of her. “I’ve known Jensen longer than I’ve known Dylan. He’s never wanted anything more than a sub, even with Courtney and they were together for two years.”
At her name, I blanched. I couldn’t help it. He’d told me bits about her, but from the way Gabby was acting, I didn’t know the whole story.
“He’s mentioned her,” I replied.
Her eyes jumped. “Wow...that’s, I mean that’s great. But that’s...wow.”
“I feel like I’m missing something.”
“It’s not my story to tell, sweetie. And you have to know that I won’t break that trust. Not just because he’s a Dom, or because if I did Dylan would have my ass in a swing, denying me orgasms until the zombie apocalypse...” Her face went lax and dreamy. “Which I might not mind. But the point is,” she waved a finger in the air, clearing her head from sex fantasies and back to me, “is that after Courtney, Jensen was messed up for a long time. He took a lot of blame that wasn’t his to shoulder. I figured when he came back to the club, when he decided to embrace who he is...well, I figured he’d be hesitant to get involved so quickly again.”
Something about her words made my spine prickle. “He told me they weren’t involved. Not...” I struggled for the right word. “Romantically, I guess.”
“They weren’t. I suppose not really, but two years is a long time regardless of how you classify it. I’m happy,” she said and took a drink of her coffee, smiling while she wrapped her red-painted lips around the edge of the mug. “I’m thrilled for him. And you. You couldn’t ask for a better man to take care of you. In bed or out of it.”
Her shock gave me pause, yet she also shined with sincerity.
A pickaxe hit my chest, making the first fracture in the wall I’d built.
“Thanks for listening.”
She grinned and rubbed her hands together. “Now, let’s talk about this party. What are you wearing?”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. Jensen had told me that this Saturday we were going to a fundraising benefit. He hosted it every year in honor of his father who had been a major philanthropist. This year, the benefit was raising money for the Grand Rapids Teen Shelter, a youth center owned and run by his friends and clients, Donovan and Talia Lore.
Since he told me, I’d been on pins and needles and it was nice to hear that Gabby and Dylan were going to be there as well. I was going to be meeting not only Jensen’s business partners, but friends he’s had in his life for years. It was a big step, but less scary knowing Gabby would be there.
“I’m going shopping tomorrow,” I told her. “Have any ideas for me?”
She laughed, her fingers going to the silver stamped collar at her neck. It was beautiful, and made something inside me yearn for that. For a Master and slave, the collar showed ownership. Similar to a wedding band, and yet the significance of it, perhaps because it was larger, seemed heavier.
I shook the thought away. I had done enough talking about Jensen and my questions with where he was leading us to go, I had enough to think about. So Gabby and I lost ourselves in girl talk about dresses and shoes and what the benefits were generally like. We laughed and we smiled over another round of fresh coffee.
She was in the middle of telling me about the disasters of house hunting with Dylan when her eyes dimmed and her back went ramrod straight. Her attention pulled from me to the sound of the door opening behind my shoulder.
“What is it?” I asked, setting down my coffee mug to turn to see what had caught her attention.
Her hand fell on top of mine and stopped me.
“Don’t move. Don’t turn around, and whatever you do, let me handle this.”
She squeezed my hand once before letting go.
“Hello,” Gabby said, her eyes darting to above my shoulder. All friendliness she showed me evaporated, and in its place was the memory of her as a bartender when she’d taken on a man twice her size.
“Gabby,” a woman said, right before she stepped into my line of sight. “How are you?”
“Fine, Meredith. Is there something I can help you with?”
My eyes trailed up the woman, dressed in an expensive-looking pantsuit that was still feminine and light, but dripped with wealth. As I reached her eyes, I sucked in a breath as recognition took hold of me.
My fingers went to my lap and I curled my hands into fists.
This was the woman Jensen had been eating dinner with when I went searching for him.
And she knew Gabby. Because of Luminous?
“No,” the woman Gabby called Meredith said. “Courtney and I are here meeting for lunch so I thought we’d come say hello. It’s been a while.”
She was beautiful, but her smile thinned and her eyes took on a salacious tint as she looked down at me.
All I heard was a ringing in my ears at the mention of Courtney.
Courtney. Courtney. Courtney.
Jensen’s former sub. And he’d been eating dinner with a friend of hers?
“Not long enough,” Gabby snarked, not hiding her annoyance. “And if there’s nothing you need from me, then perhaps you can go.”
Meredith, unflustered by Gabby’s rudeness, ran a hand through her long blond hair and flicked it over her shoulder. She was tall and thin, someone who could pose on a cover without the need for Photoshop to make her appear more perfect. I couldn’t see a single flaw except for, perhaps, her catty grin.
“There’s no need to be rude, we’re practically family.”
A choking sound garbled from my throat and caught her attention.
Her eyes narrowed on me. Her catty grin stayed firmly affixed. “Do I know you?”
“No,” Gabby snapped. “And since we’re in the middle of something and you’re interrupting, perhaps you should leave.”
Meredith made a tsk-ing sound with her tongue on her teeth. “So rude, Gabby, no wonder you need to be owned and beaten into submission.”
Gabby’s fingers went to her collar and she smiled. That same satisfied smile she’d used with me earlier. I admired her confidence, her understanding of who she was even if my eyes were jumping back and forth like I had stepped onto center court of the world’s strangest tennis match.
“Your friend is waiting for you,” Gabby replied, and nodded to someone at the counter.
My head turned in that direction. She was no less beautiful than Meredith except her appearance was so different. Hair like the most beautiful beach and blue eyes to match the ocean. She was classic and innocent, with only the hint of dark circles under her eyes to show she was that pretty without having makeup on. And dressed in black yoga pants and a zip-up athletic jacket, she looked like she’d either just come from a workout or was heading to one.
It didn’t diminish the fact she was stunning. She’d be the kind of girl in a magazine teenage boys would rip out and hide under their mattress.
“Of course,” Meredith said. She looked back at Gabby and then down at me, her eyes narrowing...assessing.
I fought the urge to ask all the questions pummeling my mind. Who was she to Jensen? What did she mean by almost family? Was that Courtney?
She held out her hand, long thin fingers an invitation to shake. One I couldn’t stop myself from taking. “Meredith Moxley.”
“Haley.” Could she feel my hand trembling? I didn’t take the time to find out before I pulled my hand out of her grip.
“I feel like we’ve met before.”
“Sorry.” I shrugged and tried to smile but it felt forced. “I don’t believe so.”
“Meredith?” A woman said timidly, gaining all our attention. “We should go.”
“I’ll be right there, Courtney,” she said, not taking her eyes off me. I didn’t know if she’d seen Jensen drag me down the hall and away from her at The Royal Mile weeks ago, but it was obvious she recognized me from somewhere. If she hadn’t put it together yet, she looked smart enough that it wouldn’t take her long to figure out.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t help but look at the woman now standing next to her. Fidgeting with her fingers and her eyes constantly scanning the small coffee shop, she was timid and nervous. Her bottom lip trembled as she waited for Meredith. Then she pulled her eyes to Gabby and a flash of something akin to fear appeared before she dipped her chin in greeting.
“Gabby. Hello.”
Gabby lost the coolness she’d been trying to freeze Meredith with and her mask went neutral. “Courtney. I hope you’re well.”
She blinked rapidly. “I am, um. Yes, better, I think. Thank you.”
Gabby’s lips spread into something not quite a smile but understanding all the same.
“We should leave, Meredith,” Courtney said again.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I couldn’t stop remembering the things Jensen had said about her. Couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d looked and wondering about the things he hadn’t said about her. This woman looked innocent and timid, a bit beaten and scared of her own shadow.
Meredith either didn’t notice, or she didn’t care. She turned, took her coffee from Courtney’s hand and gave Gabby and me one last look. “I suppose I’ll see you Saturday night.”
A weight slammed into my chest, forcing me back into my chair.
She put her back to us and walked away, not waiting for Courtney to catch up.
When they were gone, my head snapped to Gabby.
“Who in the heck was that?” My gut churned. I already knew the answer. At least for one of them.
“That, my new friend who won’t be more than a step away from me or Jensen or Dylan tomorrow night, was Meredith, the world’s biggest backstabbing bitch you’ll ever meet. And Courtney.”
Chapter Sixteen
Jensen
I was elbow-deep in law briefs, clicking away at my computer and trying not to watch the clock tick by.
An hour ago I’d heard Haley arrive for her meeting with Ron. Since I hadn’t been able to concentrate all morning, wondering how in the hell I’d become so fucked up over a woman, I closed my blinds so I didn’t see her.
It didn’t mean my dick didn’t get excited when I heard her voice as she responded to something Ron said while they walked down the hall.
I remained sitting in order to not make her uncomfortable again. Ron had discovered quite a bit during his investigation into the lawsuit from her ex-husband. While I also wanted to handle not only the suit, but the miserly little prick that was trying to make Haley’s life miserable, I forced myself to stay out of that, too.
While always legal, my ways of getting convictions and winning cases weren’t always the cleanest methods. I had contacts all over the state who could do dirty work while allowing me and my clients plausible deniability.
Ron didn’t work that way even though he had used a private investigator I’d practically forced on him for Haley’s case.
I was long past caring that he thought there was something going on between Haley and me. Hell, he’d see it for himself anyway when she came with me to the fundraising benefit I always hosted in my father’s honor.
It was the only weekend each year my mother left sunny San Diego to return to the dredges of Michigan. She’d moved away shortly after his death, insisting she wanted to move on to someplace new, someplace warm. While I didn’t fault her, I did hate that she was almost an entire country away from me.
Haley didn’t know my mom was coming and I hadn’t mentioned it. She was hesitant enough to meet my friends and business partners so soon that I figured siccing my mother on her would make her run far away, and she’d do it quickly.
The sound of footsteps filtered through my closed door and just hoping it was Haley coming to see me made my dick twitch.
Yeah...I wasn’t going to get anything done until Haley showed up, let me have my way with her like I desperately wanted, and then let me take her out for dinner.
That was the plan.
I had the rest of the night planned, too, because as much as it’d been killing me all week long not to take her ass like I wanted, to mark her as mine in every way, I loved teasing her...making her wait more.
This week had shown me that I could be more than a Dom. I could be more than someone who doled out pain and pleasure.
I had needed that after Courtney. Needed someone to trust me beyond my abilities with a paddle or a flogger. While I not only loved that Haley wanted that, that she craved the same sex I did, I enjoyed sex with her without the use of implements to heighten our experience.
That...that big part, was something that had always been missing with Courtney and my other subs. The times that went beyond the sex and moved into something deeper.
Perhaps I’d been waiting for a woman like Haley all along and hadn’t realized it.
The idea that I’d have to actually thank Dylan for helping me figure my shit out made me laugh.
I’d known him ten years and I wasn’t sure I’d ever muttered a “thank you” to him. He’d get it now—perhaps with his favorite bottle of Scotch.
I was so lost in thank-you plans that I barely had time to register my door opening before it slammed shut.
“What the hell?” I asked, snapping away from my computer and toward the door to see Haley standing on the other side. Her face was pale, her arms crossed over her stomach, and her eyes were wide and manic. “What’s wrong?”
I jumped from my chair to go to her but she held up a hand, stopping me in my tracks.
“Haley? What happened? Is it Timothy?”
The mention of his name snapped her out of her daze. “No,” she mumbled and looked di
rectly at me.
I’d seen that look on a woman before. It usually came right before a knee to the balls or a slap to the face.
I took a step back to be safe.
“What is it?” I asked, slower this time. Calmer.
She glanced around my office before dropping her hands to her sides. “I met Meredith today. And Courtney. So I’d like to know why in the hell you lied to me about being in a business meeting the other week.”
My head jerked back at the mention of the women.
“What? Where?”
I took a step toward her but stopped at her expression.
Cold. Scared.
Pissed-the-fuck-off.
“I’m trying really hard to trust you,” she said, her lips shaking as she spoke. “But I really need an answer. I mean, they’re beautiful, so beautiful, and they knew you.”
“How did you meet them?”
Meredith enjoyed spending time with those who were weaker than she was. It was most likely the only reason she and Courtney were ever friends to begin with.
“Does it matter?” she asked, tilting her head.
“Yes, it does.” The room seemed to tilt as I walked to her, anger simmering in my gut. The way she looked at me like she doubted me. Like I hadn’t been completely honest with her. I’d done everything I was supposed to do as Haley’s Dom, including being honest when I wanted to change the rules.
That was the most important part about a BDSM relationship beyond being safe, sane and consensual. Communication, openness and honesty. Those three words should be written immediately under any BDSM website, or fuck...hung on the walls in every sex club.
I’d done my part, and this woman, who claimed to trust me, was now doubting me.
“It matters, Haley,” I said, lowering my voice so she knew I was serious. “Because you just came in to my office, my place of business, and you seem to have your head clouded and twisted with bullshit that has nothing to do with us or what we’re building.”
Or what I thought we were building, because damn...this hurt.
“Go sit,” I commanded. Her eyes flashed defiance and spurred my anger. “And tell me what happened. Let’s talk about this before you begin throwing accusations at my feet.”