by Stacey Lynn
By the time Jensen pulled me to the side and kissed my cheek, whispering that it was time for him to give his speech, I was past the point of being a little bit tipsy, and my stomach was filled with delicious champagne and even better food.
“Stay close to Gabby and Dylan, okay?” he murmured, brushing his lips against my cheek. “This won’t take long.”
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him, unable to stop myself from touching him. My hand pressed to his stomach and the tightness of his muscles. I slid my hand up the front of his suit, until I wrapped my fingers around his lapels at his shoulder.
I rolled to my toes, tightened my grip on his suit and tugged him closer. “Why is it that when I’m this close to you, I simply have to touch you?” My slightly drunken eyes rolled to his. “What are you doing to me?”
His eyes narrowed and examined me, assessed me, and by the way his lips curved at the edges, he liked what he saw.
His gaze dipped to my mouth.
“I’m making sure you’ll never want to leave me,” he whispered, bringing his lips down to brush against mine. My heart immediately flip-flopped. His words, his touch, his scent—it was all so much, too much. Maybe perfect.
He was already right. I never wanted to leave him.
Licking my lips, I tasted him on my mouth and grinned. Heat bloomed on my cheeks, and I lost awareness we were surrounded by four of his friends until someone cleared their throat.
Loudly.
I pulled my head back and rolled my eyes when I caught Gabby’s gaze. She was grinning at both of us. “You need to go, Jensen. Leave the woman alone.”
He gave me one last questioning look. “You’ll be okay?”
“Yes, of course. I just need to use the restroom but I’ll be back before you go on stage.”
“Don’t take your eyes off her,” he said, pointing at Gabby.
“I’m not going to watch her pee.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do, now go. We’ll be fine without you.”
He walked away after giving me another kiss on my lips, one that was hard, gone before it started yet still chilled my skin when we separated.
His body was perfect. A work of art as he made his way through the crowd, pausing once to shake hands and say hello before he gestured toward the stage at the far end of the room. I didn’t take my eyes off him for a single moment, not when he stopped next to a woman dressed in a beautiful, pale blue dress. It fell around her matured curves perfectly. Was elegant without being showy. And the way she grinned, pressed her hands to his cheek and looked back in our direction before her eyebrows shot up her forehead, made my feet glue to the floor.
Her dark hair, her tanned skin, the way she touched him with such familiarity. The way he leaned down and held her tight, pressed his lips to hers before pulling away...
It was his mom.
I knew it before he let go and squeezed her hand. When he walked away, she didn’t watch him.
No, her eyes were fixed on me and a smile that was kind, a bit tentative, grew on her lips before she turned back to the crowd of other elderly couples she’d been speaking with prior.
“Oh my God,” I whispered, desperately searching for the servers with trays of champagne. “His mom is here.”
“Helen?” Gabby asked and turned around. “Of course she is. Didn’t he tell you? She always comes back for this.”
“No.” I spied the server with a large, round tray braced on his shoulder heading in our direction and practically waved him down like an airplane traffic controller. “I assumed, maybe, but he hadn’t said.”
My frantic, wild eyes flashed to her. “I need a moment. I have to pee, and suddenly I’m nervous. It’s his mom, Gabby.” I leaned in, showing her how desperate I was. “How can he? How could he not give me a warning? Time to prepare myself?”
“Um.” She waved her hand over my body and grinned. “Perhaps because he thought knowing beforehand would make you act like a lunatic?”
“I’m not.” I was. I totally was. “Excuse me, I really need to use the restroom.”
“Not without me you’re not.”
She turned and handed her glass of champagne to Dylan who had never removed his eyes from her. Always watching, always waiting, as if she could evaporate into the air if he didn’t keep a close watch.
“Thank you, Master,” she said.
My body shivered. In public, they looked like any typical couple, but it was that word, that reminder, that pulled everything back into place, righted itself at the same time it tilted me off-balance.
Except in the bedroom, Jensen hadn’t given me any of that since he said he wanted a relationship with me.
Yet as Gabby fingered her collar like a woman spun her wedding band on her ring finger, I wanted it.
Even after he gave me everything else, I still wanted that from Jensen. The fact he hadn’t, that he seemed uninterested in it, sent a small pebble of doubt inside my stomach as Gabby led me to the bathroom.
A sour taste filled my mouth as I used the restroom and washed my hands. I tried focusing on Gabby, her chatting and gossiping about some of the people I’d met earlier, but her voice was background to noise to the growing unease inside my stomach.
Was I changing again?
Had I fallen into an old pattern, denying what I wanted—needed—in order to keep a man happy? Was I once again placing too high expectations on a man, trying to change him to be what I wanted in order to give me the same?
Yet he hadn’t balked when I’d accidentally brought up the collar in the bath the other night, either. Perhaps like he said before, we needed to figure this out. It was new for both of us. And I needed to stop being so afraid of repeating past mistakes and ask for what I wanted, like he had done when he wanted to change our initial rules.
I made a sound of frustration and followed Gabby out of the restroom.
Chapter Nineteen
Haley
The sounds of laughter and clinking champagne glasses echoed through the wide-open doorways as Gabby and I made our way back to the ballroom.
“See?” I said, smiling. “I told you I’d be fine on my own.”
She rolled her eyes and looked straight ahead. Suddenly, she grabbed my wrist and pulled us both to a stop. “Fucking hell. You spoke too soon.”
I turned to the direction she gestured and came face to face with Meredith and Courtney, strutting toward us. Meredith wore a smile that gave me the exact vision of when Jensen called her a hawk. Eyes narrowed with a gleam filled with wicked intent and lips pressed together in a catty grin, she walked toward us like we were her prey and she’d been waiting for an opportunity to strike.
Like at the coffee shop, Courtney trailed behind her a step, hands clasped together in front of her, eyes wide open and filled with innocence.
“I can handle this,” Gabby said, stepping in front of me as if to shield me from the onslaught.
Meredith on the other hand ignored her and focused her gaze on me, like an arrow to a target.
I groaned. This was the last thing I needed. Running into Jensen’s mom with the back of my dress tucked into my thong underwear and a roll of toilet paper stuck to my heel would have been more pleasing.
“No. I’ve got it.”
Gabby sighed and let go of my wrist she’d been clinging to. “Suit yourself.”
“Hello, Gabby,” Meredith said as she reached us, stepping directly in our path—in front of me.
“Shrew.”
Meredith’s eyes met mine and narrowed further. If spikes could be shot from eyes, I’d be a bleeding mess on the floor. “And you’re Jensen’s new plaything. You didn’t mention it the other day.”
I wasn’t a plaything. Despite my doubts, I still knew who I was.
“I’m his, yes.” I straightened my shoulders, tried to be confident despite the unease churning my stomach. “He’s told me all about you, Meredith,” I continued, letting her know we’d spoken of her.
Her eyes flashed in surprise before she gestured to Courtney, as if just remembering she was there, at her side like a well-trained puppy.
I almost pitied Courtney. While I suspected Jensen didn’t tell me the entire story of his past with Courtney and Meredith, he had given me enough information to understand these women.
“Don’t you think it’s tacky?” At my raised, questioning eyebrows, Meredith continued. “You’re nothing more than a slut, someone for him to abuse and beat until you’re almost ruined. And everyone here knows it. They see it, and they’ve seen it before. There isn’t a man or woman inside this building who doesn’t know exactly what you are...what you do for him.”
“Meredith,” Courtney cut in, suddenly looking uncertain. Perhaps a bit hurt. “Let’s go.”
“No,” she snapped, her eyes flashing toward her “friend” before coming back to mine. “He’s had his time to play. He broke you and ruined you and it’s disgusting the stuff he gets away with. Everyone should know how he treats his whores he parades around, dressed in what he wants, saying what he commands.” Her voice went soft, more patronizing than comforting, and a chill cascaded down my spine. She wasn’t entirely wrong, but she was only jealous I had what she couldn’t. Not that I’d say it in front of her friend. “I’m trying to look out for you, sweetie. You’ve been through so much.”
“Oh cut the crap,” Gabby snapped, clearly losing her hold on letting me handle this. “We both know you’re full of shit, Meredith. And I’m sorry, Courtney, truly I am,” she turned back to Meredith. “We both know that if he told you to...if he asked you to...you’d spread faster for him than melted butter.”
She gasped, a hand went to her chest in indignation but Gabby continued, leaning forward and lowering her voice. “He doesn’t want you. As often as you throw yourself at him, you don’t turn him on, and that kills you doesn’t it? You hate that you’ve always wanted him, would try to be whatever he wanted, and he tossed you to the side for your friend who you don’t think is nearly as pretty or as smart, or as perfect as you are.”
Whatever goading Gabby had done snapped something inside Meredith, because as soon as Gabby was done, Meredith hissed, “Because she’s not. He was mine before her and he’ll be mine again,” Her eyes slid down my body with disgust but I could only gape at her, at the fact that just beside her, Courtney’s skin had paled, her jaw hung open. “You’re not what he wants or needs.”
“Is that true?” Courtney looked at Meredith, looking like she’d been slapped.
No, worse.
She looked like she’d lost the last remaining thread of whatever she’d been holding on to. “Mer—”
Realization dawned on Meredith and she faced Courtney, but before she could speak, Courtney turned on her heel, rushing away, her sobs loud and clear as she covered her mouth with her hand.
“You’re a bitch,” Meredith hissed, glaring back at Gabby. “How could you do that to her?”
“To her?” Gabby asked. If she had a bowl of popcorn in her lap, she couldn’t look more pleased at what just occurred. “You’re the one who just threw your cards on the table only to lose to the house. Don’t play games with me, Meredith. You’ll never win.”
Her lip curled and as she spun on her heels. She took a step away before looking back, throwing a deadly look over her shoulder, aiming furious eyes at me. “Neither will you.”
We stood in silence until they disappeared. “Did that really happen?”
Gabby flashed me wide eyes. “I think, yeah...it really did.”
A small snicker fell from my lips unbidden. It was rude of me to laugh. Meredith had just destroyed Courtney and I didn’t know either of them, but I knew enough to know that Courtney had led a rough life.
“Well, nothing we can do about it now,” Gabby said. She shrugged and gestured for me to follow. “Good riddance, I say.”
I followed her toward the benefit, hurrying on my heels.
I had no concept of how long we’d been gone, but when we reached the room, Jensen was just taking the stage, applause filling the air.
With his dark looks, defined jaw, and high cheekbones, I was instantly drawn to this man. As he reached the stage, his gaze immediately found mine and stayed there. Even as he spoke, and I heard him talk about his dad, the history of his business and how important it’d been to him to give back to the community around him, Jensen never once removed his eyes from mine except for the most minute glances to the room.
He mesmerized me. He twisted me up and unraveled me. He took me to heights I’d never known.
Claire’s question from earlier slammed into my chest, making my heart grow tight and hot, too large inside my chest as it pressed against my sternum.
I didn’t love Jensen.
I was in love with him.
The realization hit me so hard that I pressed my hand to my chest, falling back a step on my heels. Next to me where Dylan was standing with Gabby, he reached for me, grabbing my elbow.
“You okay?”
I had no idea what expression I made. Was it possible for a room to be tipped upside down and shaken?
Dylan’s dark brown brows pressed together. “Too much champagne? You look pale.”
Shaking my head, I pulled out of his hold. “Maybe, I’m okay though. Just knocked off balance for a moment.”
His eyes crinkled before his gaze dropped. “Not hard to do in shoes like that.”
“Yeah.” I fumbled over a laugh before I forced myself to look back up at the stage. Jensen, never missing anything, had narrowed eyes set on me.
With just a look he warmed me from the inside out.
I was irrevocably gone for this man. Doubts were just doubts and I had to push them to the side.
This would work—we would work.
We had to. I’d already loved and lost. With the way Jensen treated me, the way he touched me and cared for me, the way he made me feel when I was with him, if I lost him I wouldn’t be damaged—I’d be destroyed.
My hands curved into fists until the sting of fingernails dug into my palms.
Did Jensen feel the same? Was there any way to know for sure? I had to know. If he didn’t, I might still be able to walk away before I drowned in him.
An idea rushed to the forefront of my mind. There was only one way to find out.
“Dylan?” I asked, regaining his attention after Jensen had introduced Donovan and Talia on stage before exiting swiftly.
“Yeah, darling?”
“Is Luminous open tonight?”
Dylan snapped his head toward me, dark brown eyes staring and assessing. “What?”
“Luminous. Is it open?” I shifted until I faced him.
He nodded once, hesitantly. “Yeah. Of course it is. You want to go? Tonight?”
“Yeah,” I drawled, and turned back to face the crowd. I couldn’t think clearly with his eyes on me. Instead, I caught Jensen headed toward us, his mom at his side, her hand on his forearm as he guided her in our direction.
“I think I need to,” I whispered, barely able to hear myself and having no idea if Dylan had.
He also didn’t have time to respond because Jensen was at our small group, guiding his mom to his front and saying, “Mom, I’d like you to meet Haley.”
* * *
“Now that we’re alone,” Jensen said, “Would you mind telling me what in the hell is wrong with you?”
He sat as far away as he could from me in the back of the chauffeured limo. The distance between us was more than just physical, but I couldn’t blame him. I’d been waiting for this moment.
What with th
e fuckstorm that had been meeting Meredith and Courtney again, my idea for us to go to Luminous to either watch, or participate in some play, and then meeting Jensen’s mom, my mind had been in a whirlwind.
When he introduced us, I’d been polite. It had still only taken Jensen point-two-five seconds to realize that I wasn’t being me.
I was reserved. I was distracted. I had said “um what?” almost every time his mom, Helen, asked me a direct question, and the longer she stayed near us, the worse it grew.
By the time she’d excused herself from our group her eyes had flickered to Jensen. Tears had clouded my vision when there was nothing but worry and hesitation in the way she looked at her son.
“I’m so sorry,” I started. “There’s no genuine answer except I was distracted and I feel horrible that was her first impression of me. Can we make it up to her when we see her tomorrow for brunch?”
His dark gaze slid to the window and his chest expanded before he turned back to me. “What happened?”
His blank voice and even emptier expression sent a chill cascading down my spine.
Suddenly, my plans for the night seemed like the worst idea ever. Unfortunately, there was no way for me to tell the driver without Jensen hearing.
“Haley.”
I scooted closer to him, my bare knee brushing against him. He didn’t pull away and I took it as a good sign. “When I went to the restroom, Gabby and I came out and ran into Meredith and Courtney.”
He flinched, his expression turned dark and stormy. “And? Tell me, after everything I told you, that you didn’t let that woman get to you. Fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have let you be away from me.”
“They didn’t,” I assured him. “But Gabby...well, she pissed Meredith off and then Meredith flipped out. She let it all hang out about how long she’s wanted you, how she was prettier than Courtney, how she was pissed that you haven’t started dating her—”
“She what?”
“Jensen.” I rested my hand on his and squeezed. “Courtney wasn’t just heartbroken. I’ve never seen a woman look so destroyed. I’m sorry about your mom, but after that I had so much on my mind, I was just distracted. I hate that I made such a bad impression.”