by Bennett Cerf
445th BOMBARDMENT GROUP
SIOUX CITY, IOWA
WELCOME AND GOOD LUCK EAGERLY AWAIT DETAILS LAWSON A RUNAWAY
BENNETT
July 17, 1943
Dear Cerfie—
Many thanks for your wire of welcome which I picked up as I reported in at the Base this morning. How far has Tokyo gone? The word runaway in your telegram made me feel mighty good.
We had a fine trip from Pocatello here. Spent the first night in Jackson and then went thru’ Yellowstone, “Old Faithful” performing on schedule and effectively—then the Shoshone National Park in Wyoming. Spent the night in a motel at Sheridan, Wyoming, and into South Dakota visiting the Rushmore Memorial and spending the night in Chamberlin, S.D. on the Missouri River. Then across corn and wheat and into Sioux City last night. A good trip but it’s hotter than hell in this hole now.
I reported out at the Base this morning. The 445th is an Operational Training Unit in the middle of first phase training. So I should be here for about three months and then go over with this outfit. I’m the boss of the Intelligence Section, have a good CO and Operation’s Officer, so from now on it’s up to me! Things are pretty rugged here now, but I think they can be straightened out pretty soon. This setup is not as clean as Pocatello was—really nearer field conditions. That’s really all I know about it so far—will write more when I know more.
Pat and Tony are still with me. She’ll look for an apartment to-morrow. In the meantime, we’re comfortable here.
My love to Bob, Saxe, Lew, Pauline and the gang at large. I’d still rather be at 20 East than here!
Love,
Donald
July 20, 1943
Dear Don:
I just received your welcome letter telling me of your safe arrival in Sioux City. I don’t like your happy chortle over the prospect of getting overseas so soon, but if that’s what you want, what the hell can I do to stop you?
We’re in a state of suspended animation over TOKYO. The advance sale was enormous and the reviews couldn’t have been better; now we’ve got to wait until the advance stock is consumed and the real reorders start pouring in. Yesterday’s total was 1166, but 1000 of this was one order from the Infantry Journal. The stores all report that the book is off to a wow of a start. I am sure we have nothing to worry about, but it’s sort of tantalizing to sit around here waiting for the anticipated rush of reorders. Due to vacations, sicknesses, resignations and whatnot, the sales chart is now a full two weeks behind, so I can’t give you an exact figure on the book to date. It seems to me that it is somewhere around 55,000. That may be off a couple of thousand in either direction.
Meanwhile, the wonder of the ages is GUADALCANAL. The total for that one on Friday was 965 copies, and it is a rare day when the sales don’t reach 200. I think we are up to about 105,000 now. What a gold mine this book has been. The other books are holding up well too, and it is hard to remember that these are the mid-summer doldrums!
I take it that you received a copy of Podoll’s annual report showing the net of about $255,000.00 that I told you about.… Meanwhile, as usual, my dear Klopfer, we don’t seem able to get our paws on a God damn cent of all these mythical riches. Anyhow, we are getting some wonderful plates: Shakespeare, The Bible, Aquinas, and God knows what else. Furthermore, we are gradually going to replace the worn out plates in the Modern Library. I am just finishing a completely new collection of ghost stories to replace that stinking old No. 73, and Aaron Sussman is working on a revision of the de Maupassant volume. Did you ever look into that one? It is really disgraceful. A new LEAVES OF GRASS and the PEPYS DIARIES are also on the calendar.
I am curious to know how you and Pat liked my piece on Gershwin in the Saturday Review. Maybe you missed it in all your jumping around. I am sending you a duplicate copy under separate cover.
I am hot, annoyed with the mass of detail work that has been around, temporarily sick of the publishing business. Phyllis, Christopher, the nurse and I are going down to stay with Alicia for two weeks beginning July 30th, and I will be glad to get away. Harry [Guggenheim], incidentally, is now a full-fledged Commander and his field at Trenton is in operation. All the new Navy planes are brought to his field and it is there that the secret Navy devices are installed. It is a very responsible job and he is having the time of his life doing it.
I suppose you saw that Johnny Swope married Dorothy Maguire of Claudia; that John Anderson and Colonel Little of Little & Ives passed on during the last week; and that Alfie Knopf has bought Pen Publishing (for tax purposes, I will vow). Manges is 45 today and Sartorius will be 50 tomorrow. Time, if I may coin a phrase, passes on.
My deep love to you.
As ever,
Bennett
July 22, 1943
Dear Bennett—
Both Pat and I thought your Gershwin article was swell. With typical Selwyn press agent soul she only sniffed once and said, “Gertie Lawrence became a star in Charlot’s Review?”! But really, both of us liked it. I hadn’t seen it because the SRL usually gets lost between Santa Ana, Harrisburg, Pocatello and here. Anyway we found out to-day that we’re staying here for the month of August. That’s preferable to the plains of Nebraska.
The business figures sound great. I saw the prelim P & L statement and hope you can chisel something off our tax. I’d like a little backlog when we come out of this mess. Don’t get discouraged because Tokyo reorders aren’t in yet. It takes time in the month of July to eat up a 50000 advance. September is when it should start ramping and it ought to lead the best sellers during the fall. It would be perfectly safe to send me that Aleutian manuscript, registered mail, if you can spare it for a week. I’ll keep it in the safe and return it to you by registered mail if you so desire. I’m delighted that we’re making new plates of the ML’s. God knows they need it! I hope you stay down at Alicia’s with the family for a while. Don’t let the business get you down. It’s so much pleasanter than any other business in the world. And that includes any job in the AAF!
The setup here is fine. Lt. Col. Terrill is the CO, a helluva flier and a good fellow. Our Operations officer is a honey and the executive is a stinker, but there are no complaints. We’re slow getting started because there seems to be a bottleneck in first phase training whence we draw our crews.
Incidentally, time marches on! I’m the oldest man in the 445th Bomb troop (H)!
My love to all the office, Phyllis and Chris.—
Love,
Donald
July 28, 1943
Dear Don:
We’ve just gotten the Army and Navy okay on the Aleutian manuscript and are going to shove it right into composition. Don’t you want to wait until we get proofs to send you? If not, I can send you a carbon copy of the manuscript, but it is in a pretty cheesy state. Let me know which you prefer. There is nothing of a startling news nature in the book, and if I were you, I’d wait to read it comfortably. It is just wonderful war reporting. Incidentally, I have high hopes of selling a hunk of it to Readers Digest for a pre-publication feature. Ralph Henderson of the Digest spent Monday night at my house reading the script. He was very deeply impressed. It is just a matter of room with those babies now.
Incidentally, they have started an Arabic edition in addition to the Spanish, Portuguese and Swedish ones. The French one is on tap. Boy, what power that outfit is going to be able to wield all over the world by the time it gets finished. It is a little worrisome to think about!
I am enclosing herewith a one-color proof of the double-page ad we are going to run in Publishers Weekly on the Illustrated Modern Library. Next week I hope to have some real dummies to send you. Harry Abrams and Ray Freiman have collaborated to do a wonderful job on these books, and I really think you are going to be excited with the results.
The corrected proofs of the Fall Random House announcement are going back to Bill Simon. I have finished my Trade Winds column all the way through August and on Friday night I sign off for two weeks. Our address f
or the first two weeks of August will be c/o Commander Harry Guggenheim, Port Washington, L.I. Jezebel will also be away the first three weeks in August. (That’s what life is like these days. The boss gets two weeks and the hired help gets three.) The title of the Random House office for the next few weeks will be “Sex Takes a Holiday.”
Ted Lawson spent the night with us last night. Hollywood hasn’t spoiled him at all. He will stay in Washington for two weeks and then shove off for his new post in Chile. The book is romping along nicely but is not yet the sensation that we hoped for. These are the dog days, however, and no book is doing anything wonderful at the moment.
Tonight we are going with Jake Wilk of Warner Bros. to see the opening of THIS IS THE ARMY. It ought to be pretty swell. Tomorrow we have a date with old Schloppo. He and Phyllis are putting the finishing touches to a really fine anthology called TALES OF TERROR AND THE SUPERNATURAL.
They have worked like slaves on it and the result is so good that I honestly think we have a good chance of selling it to the Book-of-the-Month Club as a dividend. I am going to take this up with Harry Scherman as soon as I get back from Long Island.
That seems to be about all the news. Take care of yourself and keep me posted on your activities. Judging by the headlines of the last few days my prediction that you will be back at your desk here by January 1, 1945, does not sound too impossible. Anyway, I can have my dreams.
As ever,
Bennett
Aug. 1, 1943
Dear Bennett—
… As of to-morrow everyone is being restricted to the Base. We have one helluva training program to meet and the Colonel very sensibly is impressing it on all officers and men. That means 24 hours off per week and I don’t think it will last too long. Pat’s moving to the Sioux Apt which will be like a girls dormitory. There are so many Army wives living there. I don’t know how long she’ll stick it out under these new conditions.
The war certainly is going along at a great clip these days. I’d hate like hell to be living in Harrisburg now! I’m sure the Italians will quit any minute now. They’re in a hopeless spot.
I certainly am jealous of you lazying around down at Alicia’s for a couple of weeks. I’ll get six days before I go over—don’t know when I’ll take them, imagine some time in Sept.
I hope you’re right about Jan. 1, 1945, but I don’t believe it for a minute! Give my love to Thrup and Chris—and remember me to the Guys—
Love,
Donald
August 9, 1943
Dear Don:
I came in for just the day to take care of an accumulation of letters and junk of one sort or another. We have had a wonderful week at Alicia’s and I am going back for some of the same on a late train this afternoon. The weather has been superb, and good old George Abbott brings around a different beautiful girl for tennis every afternoon. He also had Frank Sinatra out last Thursday, which caused all the women in the vicinity to swoon with delight. Personally I preferred Joan Caulfield who is the star of his KISS AND TELL company, and who is really a knockout. Harry came back from Trenton for the weekend, and we had a fine time despite the presence of Doctor Al Barach who is fuller of crap than ever. Freddy, incidentally, sends you her love, and so do the Guggenheims.
Chris took country life right in his stride, although the Sound has proved a little too big for him, to date. When I lift him over the water, he pulls in his legs just like an airplane taking in its wheels after it hits the air. He is beginning to talk a blue streak, but most of the time I haven’t got the faintest idea of what he’s saying. Phyllis says I am a neglectful parent.
I find that business is sailing along at a terrific clip. TOKYO is at last beginning to show signs of real life. It’s way up on all the best seller lists in the Times compilation this morning. As you say, no war book has been able to compete with the front page headlines in the past couple of weeks.
By way of diversion, I am writing the editorials for Alicia’s newspaper while I am down there. It’s wonderful fun to be able to shoot your mouth off without having to sign your name to your spoutings. For tomorrow morning’s paper I prove conclusively that Germany can’t last another six months. I am sure this will cheer you up immeasurably.
Oppenbopper writes that he’s coming to town for a week and will honor us by staying with us during that time. We will be glad to see him—but I wish it were you instead. I hope that everything is working out just the way you want it. Please send me all the details, if you can.
Love,
Bennett
P.S. I had a long letter from Bobby Heller this morning. The s.o.b. is in Sicily. And oh yes, Irving Fineman is coming to the office tomorrow morning. That’s why I am beating it back to Port Washington this afternoon.
Aug. 18, 1943
Dear Bennett,
I suppose by this time you’ve practically forgotten that you were off on a vacation for a couple of weeks—but, what the hell, Random House is more fun than a vacation anyway!
I’ve been granted my leave and I expect to be in N.Y. by the 8th of Sept. returning here the 14th. A short time but that’s all they’ll give us these days. Needless to say I’m most anxious to see you and Bob and the gang again—to say nothing of Lois and my Ma!
The training program here is clicking at a great rate. We’re working on a 24 hour schedule and really putting in a helluva lot of flying hours. My Intelligence Dep’t is so busy briefing and interrogating that the boys are running in circles. I seem to thrive in it and since I’m the oldest man in the group the youngsters have to really step along to keep up.
Pat’s having a lousy time—comes out every evening to a bad dinner out here and then goes home around ten thirty—not such a pleasant life. But she insists upon sticking around, so more power to her.
There isn’t a damned bit of news around here except local gossip.
Has 30 Seconds started to really roll yet and what are the figures? Anything exciting for the fall? My best to Chris and Thrup.
Love,
Donald
August 20, 1943
Dear Don:
I just this moment received your letter, and I am delighted that you are going to be here from the 8th to the 14th. God knows it’s a short enough time, but it’s better than nothing. Is there any chance of you and Pat staying with us those days? I needn’t tell you that we would love to have you, and that if you came you would be under no obligation whatever to spend any more time with us than you wanted to. Please think about it anyhow. Frankly, if I were in your place, I think I would want the biggest suite at the Waldorf for those six days to wallow in Sybaritic luxury—but you were never as much a creature of the flesh as I am, and maybe 132 East 62nd Street will be good enough for you. Do let me know.
Second, how about saving Thursday evening, September 9th, for Phyllis and me, whether or not you stay with us. I know you will be beset with engagements, and I would love to get in a claim before your various relatives and whatnots start tearing you apart. If you say the word, I will get tickets for one of the new shows, though God knows nothing new that’s worth a God damn has come to town in months.
…
The news on TOKYO is not particularly good. It’s selling, yes, but nothing like what we thought it would, and I am more convinced than ever that the bloom is off the rose on the war babies. I should say that the total to date is somewhere around 56,000 or 57,000. With a break, we will hit about 75,000 before the year is over, in my opinion, and that will just about clean us out of the edition, since we have given 22,000 of our 100,000 to the Book-of-the-Month Club. Six months ago I still think that this book would have sold a quarter of a million copies at least. It certainly is a tough break for Mr. Morgenthau.
Between ourselves, I regard the Fall list as minor league or New York Giants calibre. The Aleutian book, which I hope you have read by this time, is a pip, but after our experience with TOKYO we are only printing an edition of 15,000, and I am in hopes we will run the sale up to 25,000, but fur
ther than that I don’t think we will be able to go. WHERE’S SAMMY? looks like a reasonable 8,000 to 10,000 shot, and that goes for Lewis Browne’s novel, too. Harry Maule’s BOOK OF WAR LETTERS is a question mark. The real dark horse on the list is ROSTOV. I just sold condensation rights to Liberty for $1,000.00 which is a good send-off for the book anyhow. I think I told you that Readers’ Digest has bought the Aleutian book. Our share of this sale will be a minimum of $1,000.00 and may amount to considerably more. Incidentally, Readers’ Digest has definitely decided to make a regular department of the Trade Winds column. The present plan is to run a double page feature of excerpts from the column every other month, and to alternate this with the same length extract from the New Yorker’s Talk of the Town. Needless to say, I am pretty tickled. They have also bought the Gershwin piece from me, so I will be rolling in wealth until the next tax payment comes along.
…
The big news of the week was handed to me by Georges Duplaix yesterday afternoon. He came in to tell us that he was resigning from Western to become graphic arts editor of Simon & Schuster. Graphic arts my left blank, says I. If I may be permitted to hazard a guess (try and stop me), those bastards are going to crack the chain store market within the next two years. Octopi, that’s what they are, Klopfer, octopi. I am meeting Mr. Benbow at 4:30 this afternoon to talk over the situation with him and see who’s going to take Duplaix’s place. As long as they keep Lucille Ogle, I think we will manage, but there’s no gainsaying the fact that the loss of Duplaix is a kick in what we Oxford boys used to call the arse.
Speaking of octopi, the finished dummies on the illustrated Modern Library are absolutely terrific, and I only wish I could see that poop George Macy’s puss when he gets his first look at them. Take my tip and sell a couple of hundred shares of Heritage Press short at the market.
We had a really spectacular time down at Alicia’s. Christopher gained almost two pounds while we were there. The last night of our visit was highlighted by the presence of [her father] Captain Patterson and Ruth Vischer. I had promised Alicia that I would be Joe Charm as long as her pappy was about, and not start any controversial arguments. I was so wonderful that the nearest we came to a clash was a brief discussion on the relative merits of Christy Mathewson and Three-Fingered Brown.